Today, I was looking on Legalzoom seeing if they had any links to free help for filing a child support modification.
I've been told for 9 months now, that because I am unemployed, I cannot file for a reduction in child support. I was also told that there was no way to have my daughter, who is 18, living on her own, and NOT going to college, taken off my obligation. I was told that my ex wife had to come into the office and SHE had to petition the court to have her removed. (I was told this by the State's Attorney).
I live out of state and can't afford to go to Maryland from Missouri just to file papers.
So, when legalzoom had no help, I once again used google-fu to look for help/advice. I guess this time I finally typed in the correct sequence of words, because it took me directly to the State's website, where it told me that either parent can petition the court to have a child removed. It also told me that yes, you CAN ask for a modification based on significant change in circumstances, and being unemployed is indeed one of the circumstances listed. Not only that, but it also had the forms that I need to fill out, and mail to my ex, and to the court, and they are free to file (yippeeee!)
So, the question is, when it asks for reasons, on top of including the above information, should I also include all the times I contacted the state's attorney and asked her these specific questions and were told (now) blatant lies?
Or, should I just file the forms with the very minimal pertinent information?
Originally posted by StaggerLeeSo, the question is, when it asks for reasons, on top of including the above information, should I also include all the times I contacted the state's attorney and asked her these specific questions and were told (now) blatant lies?
Or, should I just file the forms with the very minimal pertinent information?
Part of me says you should include a separate letter explaining your journey to the truth, being sure to include the obstacles (LIES!!) you encountered along the way. But then the other part of me says God forbid that letter falls into the wrong hands, thus causing your forms to mysteriously fall into the wastebasket. Maybe wait until everything is resolved to your liking, THEN throw this dude under the bus?
I agree with the other part of Frosty. Get done what you want done, then file a formal complaint against the specific person at the state's attorney's office that lied to you. Without hard evidence, you may not be able to get anything done to him, but if he lied to you then he probably lied to more people and if enough of you complain, maybe something will come of it... EVENTUALLY. :/
Take the high road. Get what you need to do done and then go back in and ask the same person the same question and see if you get the same answer. Play Dumb. And make an appointment, if possible. No one likes a freak from the cattle call line
Bring with you a copy of what you found on the state's website, along with your receipts / proof that it worked out for you and provide this to said person. Ask "are you sure about your rules? This worked out for me...but I just want to double check because I wouldn't want to see anyone else get the wrong advice in a matter like this."
Don't be a prick...or crow. Just be inquisitive and helpful. You don't need to prove someone wrong - you are in the right, so there is nothing else to gain. But it is fun having them squirm to the conclusion that they were wrong
Demonstrations are a drag. Besides, we're much too high
"Learn to love yourself... for it is the greatest love of all" - Jeremy Borash 11:24 AM May 13th,2009
Well, my main reason for wanting to point out that I was lied to on several occasions was to have my support obligation (whatever the new amount may be) dated the initial time I called, nine months ago.
Originally posted by StaggerLeeWell, my main reason for wanting to point out that I was lied to on several occasions was to have my support obligation (whatever the new amount may be) dated the initial time I called, nine months ago.
My advice is to consult with an attorney - preferably one that is familiar with family law in the state of Maryland. Some attorneys will even give you a free consultation. I'd be shocked if they just handed over the money without some threat of legal action.
My guess is - and this is just a guess - that unless you have something in writing (or something similarly incriminating) from the state of Maryland documenting their "mistake", you're probably out of luck in terms of the money you've already paid. But, again, you should probably consult a lawyer if you want to pursue it.
If you take anything away from this, consider how you asked the question. Perhaps it was unclear what you were trying to do.
For example, the following questions are both essentially asking the same thing.
1) Is there a way for either parent to request that an 18 year old child be removed from the child support agreement?
2) Yeah, my ex wife is a total bitch. That whore won't do what I want her to do. Is there some way I can screw her over and take the kid off of the agreement, even if she doesn't want me to?
I'm sure you asked it exactly like scenario 1 and were exceedingly polite and helpful. That's always been your general tone here. I have no reason to suspect you'd be at all like scenario 2 with a state worker that you were annoyed to be speaking with.
I was exceedingly polite with the States Attorney. I may shoot my mouth off here, and in private, but I know to be polite to the people who can directly effect my liberties and my meager wealth.
I sent a nicely worded letter six weeks before my daughter turned 18 and gave it three weeks before I called to check on the status. That is when I was given the bad information. The States Attorney told me again that my wide had to initiate taking my daughter off, and told me she would contact my ex. I called two weeks later and she told me all the times and dates that she called and left message with my ex.
Like I said I am not trying to make the States Attorney look bad at all, I am just trying to get my new amount owed backdated to when I was initially given the bad information.
I'm not sure if this will help, but I went through changing my child support/custody agreement recently (in NC), and it was surprisingly easy. My lawyer, a well-regarded attorney in the area specializing in such things, told me that periodic updates or changes to support amounts are definitely not unheard of. Also, where there is a significant discrepancy between what you're paying and what you should be paying (according to your state's calculations), it's easy enough to change. I'd been paying an extremely high amount for years (my own fault, and she even laughed when she heard the number), and I got the amount reduced VERY significantly. To change the agreement, I drafted a revision addendum to the original agreement, traded signed copies with my ex, and had them notarized - obviously easier for me since she and I live in neighboring towns (and she didn't fight me on it since she didn't want to pay a lawyer).
I don't know if any of these links will help, but:
Well, the original order states until the children are 18, or 23 if they are enrolled full time in school. Not only is my daughter over 18, my ex actually kicked her out after she graduated (when she was still 17). My daughter isn't in school, and is actually working two jobs.
Also, there is a huge discrepancy between the original amount and what the calculator says I should be paying (I should be paying about 1/4 of what I am now paying).
But the crux of the problem was the State's Attorney, and the case worker, both claim my wife has to be the one to come in and tell them that she's 18. I asked if they couldn't accept the birth date on the original child support order. They said no. I asked if my daughter came in and asked to be removed if they'd accept that, they said no. I asked if I sent a copy of my daughter's birth certificate, with a letter from my daughter, and my daughter's new home address, if that was good enough, they said no. I asked if I could petition the court myself and they told me that it wouldn't matter if my ex didn't come to them with the information.
So, I finally printed out the forms today that I need, and I am going to send them off and hope for the best.