SUPERMAN! CHLOE SULLIVAN! LOIS LANE! TESS MERCER (absent this week)_ THE GREEN ARROW! ZOD! Special DC Universe guest stars: SPEEDY! THE DARK ARCHER!
The Smallville press release touted the Dark Archer as a DC Comics character, but I've never heard of him. Then again, I'm not up on Green Arrow continuity, certainly not stuff that's been going on with him this last decade.
It's been weeks and weeks but Smallville's finally back with Lois and Clark sucking face, counting their PDAs, and Clark bailing on her whenever he Superhears a cry for help.
The Dark Archer, complete with comic book Green Arrow's facial hair but looking a lot like the Comedian from Watchmen otherwise, shoots Lois with an arrow, then goes after Chloe, and finally kidnaps Speedy.
We learn that Oliver was in some form of archer cult, with rules reminiscent of the Sith Lords. The Dark Archer (they said his name several times - was it Vortigen? No idea how to spell it) lives by the code "No Lovers, No Allies, No Disciples", but according to their wacky rules, when an archer is feelin' like he ain't the archer he used to be, his disciple's supposed to end his life. (Darth Sidious would probably crack up at that rule.) So Dark Archer came to Metropolis and messed with Oliver's life to get Oliver to end his. Huh?
Anyway, Oliver didn't kill Dark Archer; he just shot him in the shoulder. The funny thing is Clark flung himself at Superspeed in the way of the three arrows meant for Speedy that Oliver decided to take, but Clark did nothing to stop the arrow Oliver shot back at Dark Archer. Then Oliver pointed out after the fact that he aimed for the shoulder and it wasn't a kill shot. It seemed like Clark was surprised to hear it. Did Clark not block Oliver's arrow on purpose so he'd be surprised how it would turn out - and so he could yell at Oliver about "NO KILLING!" again?
Poor Speedy got caught in the middle of her mentor and employer's weird cult past. First Oliver almost strangled her after she tried to get the drop on him in sparring, then Oliver yells at her and tells her to get lost, then she gets kidnapped and brought to a hedge maze in Coast City by Dark Archer. I forgot she didn't know Oliver was Green Arrow, but she does now. Is she interested in archery? Seemed like Oliver was teaching her Filipino stick fighting. I thought they were suddenly writing Speedy off the show, but she looks like she's gonna stick around some more. Good. I like Speedy.
Meanwhile, Zod still wants his powers, wants Clark to help the Kandorians to get their powers, and refuses to drop this matter. Zod decides to introduce himself to Lois in the hospital and drop off a medallion with the symbol of Rao. At first Lois seemed skeptical of Zod, but much later, Lois acted like she thought Zod was all right and was surprised Clark was suspicious of Zod.
Then we find out that there's a Book of Rao Jor-El hid on Earth and Zod needs it to complete the Solar Tower. Then we see the Tower is pretty much built. That was pretty damn fast.
Oh, Chloe said that after Oliver got off the island he was marooned on in his backstory, he disappeared "for like a year" and presumably joined the archer cult. But later on Oliver says the Dark Archer "raised him like a son". Raised him in a year? I forget how old Oliver was when he was on the island according to Smallville continuity. Didn't he meet Tess there, or am I mixing backstories? Times like these I wish I had Smallville on Blu-ray.
Next week, at long last, Smallville: Absolute Justice! Absolutely.
I thought it was good mainly due to being Green Arrow focused. Dark Archer is supposed to be Meryln who is a fairly decent C level villain. Clark is a moron. He remembers everything that happens in the future, then why not cause an accident on the device that will Zod and crew, their powers. This version of Superman continues to be frustratingly stupid, morally superior and naive. I have to laugh all the time when DC characters like Green Arrow, Legion, Flash and now the JSA come in as they are in the comics, but Clark still can't fly or wear the suit. Its clown shoes.
The reality I want to know more about is Hulk Hogan's. Hogan Knows Best which is going to be on VH1 this summer. Hogan says its like The Osbournes, except he says with his family, "he runs a tight ship."