Previously on Smallville: A lot of crazy shit. Supergirl arrived. Lex cloned his dead brother and made him Editor of the Daily Planet. Lex's dead brother's clone started boning Lois Lane. Jimmy Olsen broke up with Chloe and has the hots for Supergirl. Lana's been spying on Lex. Brainiac returned. Supergirl found out her father Zor-El was a skeez who wanted to bone Clark's Kryptonian mother Lara. Lara and Zor-El show up at the farm. Zor-El bamboozled everyone and tries to take over the world. Clark stopped Zor-El but was trapped in the Fortress of Solitude by Jor-El for some reason. Supergirl has amnesia and is missing. And then a long break. My head is about to explode from writing all that.
And now finally a new episode last night. Featuring a Bizarro/Brainiac team-up and the first time anyone [Bizarro] referred to the BRAIN InterActive Construct as "Brainiac."
That was one of the most absurdly entertaining hours of Smallville ever. This show is so ridicuIously over the top, I'm eating this crazy shit up.
Let's count the hilarity:
1) Lana choosing Bizarro over Clark even just to fake Bizarro out get him the blue Kryptonite. The realization that Bizarro was pretty much raping her for weeks. Then Lana and Clark's touching bedroom moment with the unspoken distance between them because she really did prefer Bizarro's twisted devotion to Clark's hot/cold attention. It was missing the dialogue:
Clark: Was he better than me? Lana: Yes!
However, the little detail I really guffawed at was that Clark wears the same striped blue pajama bottoms that Bender wears on Futurama.
2) Chloe's reactions to everything, Bizarro, Lana, Bizarro and Lana planning to move to Paris, and the real Clark trying to convince her it's really him. She's seen too many versions of Evil Clark to fall for one bullshitting her.
3) The dialogue from Clark: "Jor-El trapped me in the Fortress. He freed me to stop the phantom." So, Clark, you're not angry Jor-El trapped you in the Fortress to begin with?
4) The fact that Clark palmed the blue K before putting it in its lead case. And it didn't take away Clark's powers -- why?
5) Poor Dax-Ur. Loved it. Everything about it. So absurd. The fact that Jimmy Olsen from Christopher Reeve's movies got a promotion to Kryptonian in Superman mythology. The ridiculously enormous blue Kryptonite stone on his bracelet. The fact that he lived decades as a human incognito then all of a sudden another Kryptonian and his BRAIN InterActive Construct show up at his garage door. And that's all she wrote for Dax-Ur. I also liked the description that Dax-Ur was "one of Krypton's greatest scientists." Of course he was. So was Jor-El. And Zor-El. How many more of "Krypton's greatest scientists" are gonna show up on this show?
No, the very best thing was the demise of Grant Gabriel/Julian Luthor. Did Lex hire Joe Chill to do the honors of shooting his clone brother dead? Because that death looked really, really familiar. It's a shame neither Grant/Julian or Lionel wore a pearl necklace.
Can I just say that James Marsters ruleas all as Brainiac? The way he played both Clark & Bizarro is priceless. And you just knew that when he heard Clark activate the signal, that poor Dax-Ur would get it at some point during the episode.
Lex is definitely starting to move into "too far gone" territory; he couldn't bear Grant/Julian getting close to Lionel, and having his own life, so he has him taken out? Damn....
This was the first time in many years I missed an episode of CSI. I can't stay up that late with its new timeslot and I never get around to watching anything we record. Three kids (two teenagers) will do that to your television consumption.