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The W - Pro Wrestling - SMACKDOWN SPOILERS for 4/7/05
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Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 304 days
Last activity: 1 day
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.92
Stolen from The Torch:

DARK MATCH

(1) Mark Jindrak pinned Frankie Kazarian at 3:58.

VELOCITY

(1) Booker T pinned Spike Dudley at 1:53.

(2) Akio pinned Funaki at 5:08.

(3) Heidenreich pinned Shawn ?Ellis? at 1:57.

(4) Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas over The Basham Bros. via DQ at 6:53.

SMACKDOWN TAPINGS

Smackdown opened with the proverbial 15 minute interview that started with JBL stating his intentions with a rematch with John Cena. This led to Eddie Guerrero interrupting to the biggest pop of the night issuing his own intentions of facing Cena. Booker T was next, followed by Big Show, Rey Mysterio, and Kurt Angle, in that order. Kurt Angle - "I was arrested Sunday night. I was arrested on charges of armed robbery. I was arrested for stealing the show!" Kurt Angle - "Okay, let's get a few things straight here. You, you, and you (pointing to Big Show, JBL, and Eddy) all LOST at WrestleMania. You (Booker T) weren't even AT Wrestlemania. And unfortunately for you (Mysterio), you must be THIS TALL in order to challenge for the title." This all led to Theodore Long declaring a "Number One Contender Championship Series" involving the six challengers to take place over the next month or so on Smackdown. Tonight would be the first match pitting JBL against Rey Mysterio, Jr.

(1) Paul London (c) pinned Billy Kidman to retain the Cruiserweight Title at 6:55. Decent but underwhelming match that consisted of Kidman on offense for 90% of the match. London bled here and it was actually enough to warrant a change in the ring mat after the match. London won with a roll-up. Chavo Guerrero, who was a guest commentator for the match attacked London with Kidman's assistance.

(2) Big Show pinned Luther Reigns at 2:13. This was set up by a Reigns promo in the back where he was making fun of Show's WrestleMania Sumo match. Match was nothing.

John Cena gave a decent but done before promo declaring "The Champ is here!" a few dozen times. This was kept under ten minutes.

The proverbial 10 minute Diva bikini contest.

Next week, Carlito will debut his own talk show that will be "cooler than Piper's Pit" called Carlito's Cabana.

(3) Kurt Angle submitted "Jose from San Diego" AT 0:36. This was the Kurt Angle Invitational Hometown Challenge. Angle revealed after the match that he would face Eddy Guerrero next week in match number two of the Number One Contender Championship Series.

(4) JBL beat Rey Mysterio, Jr. via DQ at 14:11.



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TheMikeSays
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Since: 30.10.04
From: Kalamazoo, MI, USA

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.01
Thanks. I now have zero inclination to watch this show. Good to know.



YAPPAPI STRAPPATION, BROTHER!!!
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 35 days
Last activity: 20 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.47
Oh, fine, Freeway -- you just couldn't wait til I got back & had time to type, huh? Well just be that way. :-)

Velocity (if there is one this week)/ Dark Matches
Jindrak d. Frankie Kazarian: I was suprised when it was Frankie rather than a generic jobber; also suprised that he didn't get a bigger pop in southern California. Kazarian looked great himself & made Jindrak look damn good.

Booker T d. Spike Dudley: This was quite short, but bouncy & fun. Booker was all smiles for the audience, got a very good response, & generally seemed to be having fun.

Akio d. Funaki: Fun, flippy, quick match all around -- very fun stuff. (I'm liking Akio better than I used to. He & Paul London had some very good matches lately -- maybe that was good for him.)

Heidenreich d. jobber Shawn Evans (squashed by Chris Masters last night): Heidenreich has the ref hold the paper with his poem while they work the match. Evans does a fine job of being squashed (again). Heidenreich reads his latest poem. I'm liking Heidenreich -- he brings a certain joy to his insanity that I rather like. :-)

Charlie Haas & Bob Holly d. the Bashams: Nice match, solid, good work all around, albeit nothing really novel. Bashams DQ'd for bringing in a chair.

Noticed that Josh Mathews is slightly limping on his way to the back. If he's actually selling the Angle injury, he's doing a dedicated job of it!

SmackDown
JBL, solo, on foot, promos to the fixed camera. "After all I did for you ..." JBL wants a rematch with Cena. Eddie interrupts, gets a huge pop -- he wants a shot at Cena. As does Booker. And Big Show. And Rey. (The "Eddie" chants were clearly winning til Rey came out.) And Angle. Teddy Long joins the gang, & points out to JBL that he neglected to include a rematch clause in his contract. Hence, one of the 6 of them is going to have to earn the shot at the title. We'll start with Rey vs. JBL later tonight.

Chavito (to a suprisingly small response) out to join the commentary team for Paul London vs. Billy Kidman. (London didn't get much of a response either, & I think he's been doing great stuff. That's got to be frustrating.) Probably halfway through the match, Paul got dumped to the outside opposite where I was sitting. I don't know if he hit the steps or what, but he came up quite bloody. Rather bloodier than they usually show on UPN. Quite messy all over Billy & the ring & everything. They finished a very good match, including all the top rope spots you'd expect, with a win for London. Chavito over for additional beat-down on Paul. Trainer & doctor out to make sure Paul was OK -- or, close enough. There was sufficient blood all over the ring that they had to change out the canvas before proceeding.

Backstage, Luther Reigns complaining to whomever would listen that Big Show embarrassed the entire SD locker room losing to Akebono. Including Luther pulling his trunks up "thong style" in the back. Astonishingly, Big Show appears behind him, explains that it was an honour to lose to Akebono, & they're off to the ring.

Big Show d. Luther, mostly as expected. Although Big Show kicking Luther in the chest, twice, was somewhat suprising. (Looked like maybe Show was legit annoyed about something on his way out.) Luther's another one who might actually grow up to be somebody pretty useful one day -- he promos well, & he's not bad in the ring.

Cena (wearing Padres #31, Dave Winfield jersey) out to deliver his championship address. "The Champ is here." is the catchphrase of the month. And, although he hasn't had a chance to yet, he is certainly planning on "modifying" the championship belt. (I have "fucking with" in my notes, but I'm pretty sure those weren't the words he used.) Strong "rallying the loyal" promo, & most of the crowd was eating it up. He went over the retaining wall among the people & got totally swarmed -- I'm not sure exactly how security got him out of there.

Kurt out for WM recap. Next week he's got Eddie in the race for the #1 contender position. Squashed a latino local guy & tried to taunt out Eddie, for naught. (BTW, love the presidential eagle on the tushie of Kurt's singlet!)

Carlito recapping *his* WM adventure: "... One guy wearing a skirt, and a bald guy wearing daisy dukes." And announces that next week we'll debut Carlito's Cabana.

Bikini contest to shill this year's Diva mag & DVD. The 3 classic SD divas, & 3 of the new bimbos show up too. You'll never guess who "wins". No catfight, no ripping clothes. Yawn.

JBL (limo-ridin') vs. Rey Mysterio (sky-poppin'): Let's all recite the match together, shall we? Rey gets a little early offence; JBL dominant throughout the middle; Rey rallies for all requisite photo ops & mandatory spots; Jordan cheats; Eddie out to offest Jordan; 619/WCP for pin ... til Eddie tosses Rey aside; Eddie beats on JBL; JBL wins by DQ; why-Eddie-why; Bashams out to beat on Rey & Eddie; Cena out for the save & housecleaning. (Y'know, being there live is inherently fun. But when it's that formulaic ... What's become of all the shocking swerves?)

For the aftershow (I assume): Teddy back out to make a brief, impromptu JBL & Jordan vs. Cena & Big Show. Show dismissively cracks the Bashams' heads together as they attempt a preemptive attack. (Cute.) End up with Show literally chasing JBL to the back. (That's a couple of big boys to be running!) Cena does a nice closing speech, thanking the fans, all about us, etc.

So, overall ... Live shows are always fun, & there was some good stuff early on. And it was an entertaining evening. Just ... awfully predictable.

(edited by emma on 6.4.05 0346)
Spaceman Spiff
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Philly Suburbs

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 7 hours
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
Looks decent enough. Nice to see they at least protected Rey w/ the DQ loss, and I'm guessing Rey gets Eddie DQ'd next week vs. Angle to continue their feud(?). I wonder if they're still planning to turn Eddie heel (bad move), or if they'll try to do Rey instead (also a bad move)?


    Chavo Guerrero, who was a guest commentator for the match attacked London with Kidman's assistance.

I guess Chavo has forgiven Kidman for that whole "killer SSP" thing.

Also, is there any doubt that JBL is going to come out the winner in the tournament? Didn't think so. Rumors are we'll see...

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
a JBL/Cena "last man standing" match.


(edited by Spaceman Spiff on 6.4.05 0913)


Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 54 min.
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.55
So no giant knuckle bar on the giant SD fist? Losers.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Oliver
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: #YEG

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.50
Wow...a lackluster Smackdown to begin the new WWE "year". After reading these spoilers, I already miss JBL as champ.



I'm pretty fly...for a bald guy!
Hokienautic
Liverwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Blacksburg VA

Since last post: 9 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.66
    Originally posted by Freeway420
    Kurt Angle - "I was arrested Sunday night. I was arrested on charges of armed robbery. I was arrested for stealing the show!" Kurt Angle - "Okay, let's get a few things straight here. You, you, and you (pointing to Big Show, JBL, and Eddy) all LOST at WrestleMania. You (Booker T) weren't even AT Wrestlemania. And unfortunately for you (Mysterio), you must be THIS TALL in order to challenge for the title."


Frickin hilarious ... Angle is gold, medal or not.

    Originally posted by Freeway420
    Next week, Carlito will debut his own talk show that will be "cooler than Piper's Pit" called Carlito's Cabana


I can't be the only person looking forward to this. I think this has soooo much potential, both for mass hilarity and for a lot of good feuds. How many feuds did the WWF use to start on shows like Piper's Pit, The Flower Shop, The Funeral Parlor, etc.? I've always enjoyed the themed interview shows.
Shem the Penman
Toulouse








Since: 16.1.02
From: The Off-Center of the Universe (aka Philadelphia)

Since last post: 263 days
Last activity: 61 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.04
    Originally posted by Hokienautic
      Originally posted by Freeway420
      Kurt Angle - "I was arrested Sunday night. I was arrested on charges of armed robbery. I was arrested for stealing the show!" Kurt Angle - "Okay, let's get a few things straight here. You, you, and you (pointing to Big Show, JBL, and Eddy) all LOST at WrestleMania. You (Booker T) weren't even AT Wrestlemania. And unfortunately for you (Mysterio), you must be THIS TALL in order to challenge for the title."


    Frickin hilarious ... Angle is gold, medal or not.


Except he's already used the "you must be this tall" line against Mysterio before.



Ling-Ling into battle go
Fulfill destiny of the soul
Sever skull of adversary
Shove it in the poo-poo hole

All the children sing:
Kill kill kill kill die die die
Kill kill kill kill die die die....
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 54 min.
Last activity: 9 min.
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.55
    Originally posted by Shem the Penman
      Originally posted by Hokienautic
        Originally posted by Freeway420
        Kurt Angle - "I was arrested Sunday night. I was arrested on charges of armed robbery. I was arrested for stealing the show!" Kurt Angle - "Okay, let's get a few things straight here. You, you, and you (pointing to Big Show, JBL, and Eddy) all LOST at WrestleMania. You (Booker T) weren't even AT Wrestlemania. And unfortunately for you (Mysterio), you must be THIS TALL in order to challenge for the title."


      Frickin hilarious ... Angle is gold, medal or not.


    Except he's already used the "you must be this tall" line against Mysterio before.


"And unlike Rey Mysterio, I've already gone through puberty!"



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
OMEGA
Lap cheong








Since: 18.6.02
From: North Cacalacky

Since last post: 1941 days
Last activity: 1908 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.65
I'm just really happy to see Paul London get some TV time again, thus being about four weeks in a row that he's been on the A-show.... I'm a simple man, really.

And I too am looking forward to "Carlito's Cabana". The guy is my favorite new act in the WWE so it's nice to see WWE give him a lot of airtime.

The rest doesn't seem too bad. The #1 contender series is intruiging, at least.



The answer to WWE's financial problems...

Never 'Wiener of the Day', and is actually quite bitter about it.
too-old-now
Bockwurst








Since: 7.1.04

Since last post: 1298 days
Last activity: 223 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.71
Compare next week vs. this week

Angle's antics look fun - advantage this week
Carlito's cabana - advantage next week
Paul London - push (I like the double meaning),
JBL vs. Rey - formulaic, advantage next week
Angle vs. Eddy - advantage next week
Show squash vs. Luther - advantage next week

Cena promising to modify world title belt - advantage this week since he hasn't destroyed it yet. I hated the spinning US belt.

Bikini Bimbos - will be a disadvantage both weeks. I am however, looking forward to Dean's mighty recap report...I imagine 42 year old virgins getting out the tissue to wipe off the viscuous mess they've spurted over their previously mint condition GI Joe Cobra Commander coloring books...nah, my imagination pales next to Dean, then again, I'm a teetotaler.

All in all, looks like a week to check out a DVD from the public library, and let SD! wait til next week. Then again, there's Guy LaDouche and MXC.
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 35 days
Last activity: 20 hours
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.47
    Originally posted by OMEGA
    I'm just really happy to see Paul London get some TV time again, thus being about four weeks in a row that he's been on the A-show.... I'm a simple man, really.
Me too, although I'm a little concerned that they might pull the whole match because of the blood -- they don't usually like to show a whole lot of that on UPN primetime. Paul did great though -- it didn't feel like they cut anything out of the match at all, even though Paul had to keep wiping the blood out of his eyes so he could see what he was doing!

(p.s. Would a moderator be so kind as to put a date stamp in the thread title (for posterity), please?)

(edited by emma on 6.4.05 1549)
MonteCarl
Potato korv








Since: 21.1.02
From: Saginaw, MI

Since last post: 237 days
Last activity: 5 days
AIM:  
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.25
Show looks fun to me. Hate Cena modding the belt if it's another bling bling thing. If he mods it as a "throwback" belt to the old winged WWF belt, that'd be sweet.

And I added the date to the subject line, too.



--Monte N
http://www.thebananaconvention.com
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 35 days
Last activity: 20 hours
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.47
    Originally posted by MonteCarl
    Show looks fun to me. Hate Cena modding the belt if it's another bling bling thing. If he mods it as a "throwback" belt to the old winged WWF belt, that'd be sweet.
I'm trying to remember just how he put it... The drift was: "People say I have no respect. People got all upset when I changed the US championship belt. Well, they're gonna be really upset when they see what we've got planned for this one." Bodes ill for the poor belt. I suppose it's a merchandise opportunity, though.

(MC -- thanks.)
Tenken347
Boudin blanc








Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 3 hours
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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.85
Well, they sell those "blinged-out" U.S. title belts for $300 bucks on the WWE website, and I always see a bunch of them in the crowd, so there was basically no chance of them not doing this to the World title. Really, I'd rather they leave the belt alone, but there you are. Like MonteCarl, though, I also wouldn't mind a throwback belt.
2P4E
Boerewors








Since: 4.1.05
From: SE12, London, UK.

Since last post: 442 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.40
    Originally posted by Spaceman Spiff
    Also, is there any doubt that JBL is going to come out the winner in the tournament?


There was a split second at the end of the match during the pause after "...by disqualification" that i thought they could pull a nice twist by announcing Rey as the winner, seeing as Eddie initially pointed his aggression at him by pulling him off of JBL. But alas, no.

That rumoured match sounds like it could be long and incredibly dull.

I can just see absolutely everything on SD! being fundamentally wrong in the next few weeks, though i don't see how they could possibly make Carlito's segments anything less than awesome.



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Could not think of a possibly more unsatisfying result for essentially the biggest match at the biggest PPV of the year. And some might call it the biggest match of either wrestler's very, very long career. - StingArmy
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