DETAILED SMACKDOWN SPOILERS FROM MILWAUKEE by Bruce Newman @ 10:03:10 AM on 5/26/2004
I attended Smackdown last night in Milwaukee, WI. There wasn’t really a big crowd for the show. The upper section was tarped off and there were a lot of empty seats around the lower bowl.
If you are looking for the report that will tell you that WWE has turned things around on Smackdown, keep looking.
Dark Match:
Funaki and Orlando Jordan beat John Heidenreich and Brad Cooper. It was a dark match.
Josh Matthews and Bill DeMott came out for Matt Zylbert’s favorite show, Velocity.
Velocity:
Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli beat Billy Kidman and Paul London.
Mark Jindrak, with Teddy Long, beat Shannon Moore. Jindrak did the Lex Luger bit with the mirror before the match and just destroyed Moore.
Billy Gunn beat Sakoda. Yep, this was an actual match.
Smackdown:
The show opened with Kurt Angle saying that Eddie Guerrero is the champion and has obligations to WWE. He will wrestle tonight and because he is in such bad shape, Angle will have medical personnel at ringside for his match. Angle expects that Eddie will need them.
The Dudleys beat Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio. During the match, Paul Heyman made his way down to ringside through the crowd. The crowd chanted “ECW”. As if! The babyfaces were in control until Heyman jumped the rail and took out Rey, leading to a Dudleys victory.
After the match, Heyman made his way to the back (I guess he is still a VIP). He met up with the Dudleys and told them that they shouldn’t be happy with this win. He said that they have beaten the champ and didn’t get a title match because they don’t get any respect. He said they needed to destroy someone and make management respect them.
Back out to the ring, Michael Cole tells us that Kurt Angle has named JBL as the top contender for the Bash PPV next month. Layfield them comes out to the ring and Cole asks him what kind of man he is for pinning Guerrero last week after he passed out, or whatever it was that happened to him. JBL went nuts and Cole ran for his life. Alone in the ring, JBL did a heel promo about Eddie. He said he will be the champ and next week he will name the stipulation for his Bash match with Eddie.
Booker T beat up Scotty 2 Hotty (the tag title push is over). After the match, Booker cut a promo saying he wanted the Undertaker. Taker’s supernatural stuff started happening. Booker said he wasn’t scared, then said maybe he was a little scared but still wants to beat Taker next week.
They did a Mordecai vignette.
Eddie Guerrero was supposed to wrestle Danny Basham but it didn’t happen. Kurt Angle came out and said that Eddie can’t wrestle until he signs a release of liability. Whatever.
Spike Dudley and Torrie Wilson beat Jamie Noble and Dawn Marie. Don’t ask me why.
They did a Kenzo Suzuki vignette. He’s a Japanese warrior.
They did a skit with Rico and Charlie Haas. Miss Jackie was in a hot bathing suit. Charlie’s jaw dropped while Rico said the color was all wrong (see, Charlie wants to have sex with her and Rico doesn’t, so he can be more fashion conscious, or something like that). Rico tells to put on the other bathing suit, which she does. This is all to set up Rico modeling a speedo for Charlie. I swear, I am not making this up.
John Cena went into Kurt Angle’s office. Angle is mad that Cena went to the board and asked for a Bash match against Rene Dupree instead of coming to him. Angle didn’t like that. Angle told Cena he will wrestle Dupree tonight and Luther Rains will be at ringside.
They did a great segment with the Chavos where being the champ is going to Classic’s head. Jr. is not happy he lost the belt, but at least it stayed in the family.
Chavo Classic beat Akio. Jr. was on the outside and helped him.
They show the Dudleys in the back putting someone in the trunk of their car. They sped away and Paul Heyman walked on camera and picked up an urn off of the ground and laughed. You know who is in the trunk.
John Cena beat Rene Dupree in the main event lumberjack match.
Wonder if the angle with Eddie will make more sense on the show than it does on paper? Kurt demands that Eddie will wrestle whether he can or not? Then he turns around and declares that he can't wrestle without a signed release whether he likes it or not?
The Bored are already here. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. And no... we won't kill dolphins. But koalas are fair game.
I can only assume that it was a last minute booking change backstage. Maybe it'll be edited out of the actual show and instead we get a Confidential piece or WWE UPDATE WITH JOSH MATTHEWS!! Hurrah!
To be fair, SD is handcuffed by having no time to really set up big feuds. They are stuck with prolonging the same feuds into a PPV that is only weeks apart. The writers are having to give us a reason to care about a life-long midcarder in Bradshaw.
That being said, I am still no longer watching SD until they get their stuff together. The supernatural feud with Taker is so dumb, and I loathe Bradshaw as a wrestler. Until the ECW thing happens, I can't see a real reason to watch the show (well, other than Chavo Classic).
Joe Wilson (looking at Interocitor manual)- Hey, here's something my wife could use in the house... Crow T. Robot- A man? Joe Wilson- An interocitor incorporating an electron sorter. Cal Meechum- Oh, she'd probably gain 20 pounds while it did all the work for her. Tom Servo- Cal, you bitch!
I dunno. Smackdown is still better than the low-point of RAW last year, and that show made a turn for the better recently. I think a major thing to do would be to get JBL out of there, as he really does nothing to make the show better no matter how they try to hype up the character. Even giving Eddie's mom a heart-attack did little to make me interested in him and his promos are deadly dull. The Dudleys don't do much to spark any interest either.
I happened to be one of the few it seems that really enjoys Kurt's run as GM. I think there's some good stuff there, and his ability to pop up out of nowhere (literally) in his wheelchair is great conceptual stuff. Plus, if that's the only way we're going to get Kurt now, then by all means give us this instead of Stephanie again!
Charlie, Rico, and Jackie continues to be amusing while putting on good matches. And the whole Dupree/Cena feud is working nicely as well. The Chavo stuff is turning out better than expected as well (and will get better once Matt Capotelli comes in, which still seems to be the case if the ads for upcoming houseshows mean anything). Heck, I thought the Marie/Wilson match from the PPV was even decent for what it was (a strickly "pull my hair, pull your hair" match).
Things could definitely be better, but I'm still enjoying the show and my wife has even started watching it again, after stopping during the whole Katie Vicks thing on RAW.
I wonder what kind of buyrate they're expecting with the Great American Bash when they've done the same matches to death recently, and don't really have anything fresh for the PPV... hopefully Cena-Dupree is done with now, although with no obvious challenger for either man they might just do a stip match for the PPV. The Dudley Boyz kidnapping Paul Bearer seems to set up a Taker-Dudleyz feud, which doesn't interest me at all, plus Booker looks to finish his feud with Taker next week. The main event level is kind of like RAW's, in the sense that they've been carrying feuds on for a while now... big difference is that RAW has the roster depth and big-league talent to keep it fresh, while SD! hasn't done much mixing up other than sticking the Dudleyz against Eddie once in a while.
To reinvigorate SD! A few steps need to be taken. Push Cena to ME status. Heel, Face, Who Cares? I know he's mediocre in the ring, but this is the opposite of Beniot his charisma makes up for his lack of in ring prowess. Push Dupree and build a feud for Rico/Haas. Bring back Jeff Hardy (let the gay jokes commence) and put Edge on SD!
Originally posted by Spaceman SpiffThey just moved Edge to Raw, they aren't going to put him back on SD.
Don't bring back Jeff, but build up the cruisers you already have so you can count on them for 1-2 matches each SD, and 1-2 matches each PPV.
There's just no building up Billy Kidman. Chavo Classic can't be a real long run threat. That leaves you with Rey, Chavo, Spike, and maybe Paul London. Hardy's over with the crowd, and can put on a good show when he's drug free.
Edge is doing nothing on Raw. He's pointless as tag team champ. He randomly feuds with faces. I mean, is he really going to face Flair at Bad Blood?
Originally posted by jjfcEdge is doing nothing on Raw.
This is not true at all. He's an enemy of Evolution, the top heel faction, and the tag team partner of the world heavyweight champion. Was he supposed to just leap right into the world title picture as soon as he got back from neck surgery? They basically brought him back to the level he was at when he got hurt. They're booking him to be a legitimate threat to all the top heels (he beat Kane, would've beaten Orton, has beaten Evolution in tag matches repeatedly) and is being set up as a rising title contender once the belt goes back to HHH. What would he be doing on Smackdown, wrestling Mordecai? They're better off having him where he is, and he's better off there too. Smackdown stinks and it's not going to get better soon and they aren't going to reshuffle the rosters again this quickly.
But they're doing essentially the same thing with Shelton. And much more effectively, I might add. Already they're hinting at a heel turn. For heavens' sakes, there were "Randy" chants in Edge's match against Orton. What more proof do you need?
Put him to SD! He can feud with Booker T, Dudleys, a heel RVD, and JBL. I'm not advocating a roster shuffle. It's one guy.
KANE KANE KANE KANE should be on Smackdown, for God's sakes. He's getting a worthless title push for this month when his stupid spooky creepy antics would fit into Smackdown's glove-made-of-shit. It would be a good fit, and add a little star power to a show that's struggling without it. Edge probably could've afforded to not jump to RAW too, but he seems integrated into the roster solidly at this point.
Caped Boy: Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Milbourne, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard I am recently a crowned class B dungeon-master. So if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace. [He chuckles, and there is an awkward silence at the table.] Caped Boy: Anyone? Alexa! [Alexa gives him a withering glare.] Caped Boy: Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me. Alexa: In your dreams, douche-bag! Caped Boy: Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you. [Keith walks off] Alexa: Ewww!
Figure out who's a jobber, who's a main guy, and build up the division. Maybe get Ultimo to bring a couple of his Toryumon (sp?) guys over to fill it out. Make it different from the heavies, and you got something to hold up the lower card.
Originally posted by jjfcBut they're doing essentially the same thing with Shelton. And much more effectively, I might add. Already they're hinting at a heel turn. For heavens' sakes, there were "Randy" chants in Edge's match against Orton. What more proof do you need?
Shelton Benjamin has been booked like crap since beating HHH, going from the big high of doing that into doing pretty much nothing since. And there have been "Randy" chants here and there in a lot of places, plus those chants were coming from one section of the crowd where someone was dressed as Gumby.
They've done a much better job with Edge than they have Benjamin, and Edge is a lot more ready for that push than Shelton is. They've "paced" Edge well since his return, whereas their idea for Shelton was BIG WIN!!! and then ... what?
Originally posted by ScottChrist Shelton Benjamin has been booked like crap since beating HHH, going from the big high of doing that into doing pretty much nothing since. And there have been "Randy" chants here and there in a lot of places, plus those chants were coming from one section of the crowd where someone was dressed as Gumby.
They've done a much better job with Edge than they have Benjamin, and Edge is a lot more ready for that push than Shelton is. They've "paced" Edge well since his return, whereas their idea for Shelton was BIG WIN!!! and then ... what?
Easy now, Shelton has gotten all the offense in his feud versus Randy(Has Randy even landed a move on Shelton?), and gotten the pin on Monday. From a storyline perspective, he has to be the favorite in any match against Orton with a clean finish. He is very over with the crowds. I also fail to see the Gumby=Randy Orton argument.
Originally posted by jjfcEasy now, Shelton has gotten all the offense in his feud versus Randy(Has Randy even landed a move on Shelton?), and gotten the pin on Monday. From a storyline perspective, he has to be the favorite in any match against Orton with a clean finish. He is very over with the crowds.
I dunno, agree to disagree. I haven't liked what they've done with Shelton past the win over HHH and I guess the second one was cute too. I thought it would've been cool to have him eliminate HHH from the battle royal but they had a different agenda there so what can you do. I would say "very over" is a stretch, too. He certainly wasn't too over Monday when no one even cheered for his hot tag.
I also fail to see the Gumby=Randy Orton argument.
This was, well, a joke. There is no Gumby/Randy Orton relationship of which I am aware.
So have the Basham Brothers been regulated to being the heel-whipping-boy team now? ... What in the hell happened to them? And speaking of ex-tag team champions, has Rikishi just fallen off of the face of the earth?
Oh joy, a stip for the Bradshaw match. I can live with a Texas Death Match, as it would make sense. However, why would it not be surprising if they make it a Bullrope Match?
RSN: 1-0 1 KO vs. current members of the United States Secret Service.
I still see them doing a first blood match because any other match including Texas Death would require actual wrestling and I think they want to just run a huge brawl again.
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I'm not too sure about the racist thing either myself. But compared to necrophilia I'm sure I can handle this. I mean, now much worse can it be? Or am I setting myself up for a fall again? Ringmistress