SPOILERS BE HERE! [From Rajah.com reader Shane; Edited for clarity by Freeway420]
Smackdown opens with no pyros. Michael Cole stands in the ring and addressed the crowd about an incident at an El Paso house show on Sunday involving Eddie Guerrero's mother.
We see the footage from El Paso, where Eddie invites his family to the ring, including his mother. JBL comes out to the ring and decks Eddie with his WWE Title. Then he gets in Eddie's mother's face, and the two have some heated words. Eventually, JBL puts his hands on her, and she collapses to the ground, suffering a heart attack. JBL quickly gets the hell out of dodge. She's carted out of the ring by EMTs as her family, including Eddie, watch in horror.
Non title match: U.S. Champion John Cena vs. Doug Basham w/Danny Basham
Cena comes out to a fantastic reaction, wearing a Tom Chambers Phoenix Suns jersey. He does another great rap on the Bashams and Rene Dupree. A good half dozen "Cena" chants break out. Cena eventually beats Doug with the FU, despite Danny's attempts at interference.
Winner: John Cena
Cruiserweight title match: Chavo Guerrero w/Chavo Guerrero Classic vs. Jacqueline
Yep. Chavo puts out an open challenge, declaring it "Chavo vs. the World." "Chavo sucks" chants break out more than once. Jacqueline comes out. Chavo gets back on the mic, asking Jackie if she's serious, she doesn't have a chance against a man, and so forth. After about 2 mintues of this, Jackie slaps him, and it's on. Jackie gets a little offensive flurry going, but Chavo dominates most of the match. At one point, the referee is destracted by Chavo Classic (Sr.) while Chavo Jr. stands on top of Jacqueline. Jacqueline low blows Chavo, rolls him up, gets the 1-2-3, and the crowd erupts. The Chavos can't believe it. It was the moment of the night.
Winner and new Cruiserweight Champion: Jacqueline
Booker T goes to see a psychic to find out what's going to happen between him and The Undertaker at Judgment Day. The psychic, a Miss Cleo clone, tells him that a dead man has risen from the black shadows and is after him. She gives him several random items as part of some sort of spell to keep him safe, but tells Booker he needs one more thing: dirt from an unmarked grave.
Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli enter the ring ready for a tag team match. Kurt Angle is wheeled out by (Luther Rains) to the entrance of the ring. Crowd chants "You suck" well after his music ends. Angle says he had hoped that the disrespect he received last week at Oklahoma City was just an abberation, but apparently not. He says he?s very disappointed in us. Booooooo. On to business, Angle reminds us he promised last week that The Undertaker would wrestle this week. He says he surveyed the locker room, and no one wanted to face the Dead Man. He turns his attention to the gentlemen in the ring; tells them he knows they were expecting a tag team match, but sometimes things don't work out as you expect. Therefore, Nunzio and Stamboli would be facing the Undertaker tonight. And that match will begin right now.
The Undertaker vs. Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli
Angle wheels himself to the back, and Paul Bearer leads The Undertaker to the ring. The crowd is, of course, going nuts. He does his usual entrance, raises his hand to turn on the lights, Mr. Bearer takes his jacket and hat, and we're underway. Nunzio is thrown out of the ring early in the match; most of it featured Taker vs. Stamboli. Taker performs his top rope move, then wins with some random submission move on Stamboli.
Winner: The Undertaker
Post match: Nunzio reenters the ring and gets a Last Ride for his trouble. Taker then turns to Stamboli and tombstones him. The lights go back out, Taker pays homage to the urn, and exits. The crowd is beside itself.
Later, we find Booker T at a graveyard looking for such a grave. He finds one, collects some dirt, and leaves. Zoom in on the tombstone, we see a gloved hand emerge from the dirt.
Rene Dupree comes down to the ring with Fifi, who looks scared to death, to do some guest commentary.
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie:
Pretty basic inexperienced ladies match. At one point, Torrie goes for the pin, and Dawn Marie puts her hand firmly on Torrie's rear end as she kicks out. Let's see if the camera catches that. Everyone on my side of the arena did. Anyway, toward the end, Rene tries to distract Torrie, but Torrie kicks him away, does a top rope move on Dawn Marie and gets the pin. Toward the end of the match, Cena comes out and stares down Dupree.
Winner: Torrie Wilson
After the match, Dupree goes after Cena. He nails Cena with a bunch of foreign objects, and powerbombs him through the American(!) announce table. Dupree gets in the ring and does his little French dance to a good deal of heat. Cena gets carried to the back.
Live from New York, Michael Cole and Tazz interview JBL. Even via satellite, he gets a lot of heat. Bradshaw says it wasn't his fault what happened, Eddie Guerrero's family had no business being in the ring, and it's possible his mother faked the whole thing. He says he's in New York not because he's afraid of Guerrero but because he's there on business. He's on a show on CNBC, the "most respected financial channel in the world", or something to that effect. He leaves us with a final thought: His people came to this country on a boat not an innertube.
Backstage, Paul Heyman tells Angle it would be inadvisable to allow Eddie Guerrero to compete in a tag team match with Rob Van Dam against the Dudley Boyz, because Eddie's in a bad mood and would certainly cause a good deal of physical harm to the Dudleys and they would have to sue the company. Angle says he made his point, and Eddie's out of the match.
Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio
The Dudleys come out to a mixed reaction, which turns into a lot of heat as the match goes on. Van Dam comes out to a great pop. His partner is a returning Rey Mysterio, who receives as loud a pop as RVD. The match lasts a good 15 minutes, with Mysterio hitting the 619 toward the end. The match ends as RVD performshis rolling thunder move on Bubba the same time that Mysterio hits a top-rope move.
Winners: Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio
Post-match, the Dudleys proceed to beat on their opponents. After some "Eddie" chants, Eddie Guerrero gives the crowd what they want and runs down to the ring. He grabs a chair and beats up everyone. Bubba, D-Von, RVD and a couple refs get chair shots. The top part of the chair comes off in the process. He uses the chair for a good 2-3 minutes, then gives us a half-crazed look as the show goes off the air.
DARK MATCHES & VELOCITY [From same guy] Report by: Shane, rajah.com reader
DARK: Mordecai vs. Shannon Moore:
Mordecai has awesome music. He comes to the ring dressed all in white. He beats Moore in what seemed like less than 2 minutes with a last ride-type powerbomb. Mordecai got decent heat.
Mark Jindrak w/Theordore Long vs. Scotty 2 Hotty:
Long gives "The Reflection of Perfection" a lengthy introduction before he comes out. The end comes when Scotty goes for a bulldog to set up The Worm, but Jindrak ducks and hits Scotty with a One & Only-type move [Cobra Clutch Slam] for the pin. A couple "Scotty" chants break out before all is said and done.
Winner: Mark Jindrak
Jamie Noble vs. Spike Dudley:
Spike gets a good pop, and Jamie gets a decent one, too. Good match between the cruiserweights, with Noble dominating most of the match. Spike wins with the Dudley Dog.
Winner: Spike Dudley
Orlando Jordan vs. Akio w/Sakoda:
Not much of a reaction for anyone here, though the Japanese gentlemen get some heat. Jordan wins, though I don't remember how.
Winner: Orlando Jordan
Non title match: Tag team champions Rico and Charlie Haas w/Miss Jackie vs. Billy Kidman and Paul London
Rico, Haas and Jackie get a nice pop. A "Rico" chant actually breaks out at one point. The fans appreciated the homoerotic humor he provided. And it was pretty damn funny. Haas gets the pin after 7 or 8 minutes.
Winners: Rico and Haas
(edited by Freeway420 on 5.5.04 0334) NHL PLAYOFFS: TAMPA BAY beat MONTREAL 4-0 PHILADELPHIA leads TORONTO 3-2 CALGARY beat DETROIT 4-2 SAN JOSE leads COLORADO 3-2
This just can't be real...CAN IT? Allow me to indulge the inner smark here for a minute.
FUCKIN' Jackie as the Cruiser champ? Booker going on a scavenger hunt after consulting a psychic? JBL not even showing up at the arena a week or so before JD?
This can't be happening. Oh, and Tom Chambers was overrated if anything.
(edited by Torchslasher on 5.5.04 0514) "Did Webb see it?"- Cal Meechum "Unless he's blind"- Joe Wilson "Check him. Oh, and Joe, until we find out what happened all three of us are blind"- Cal "I'll go poke Webb's eyes out"- Crow T. Robot
Last week's SD wasn't that bad, but this show looks like crap? Jacqueline as cruiser champ? That's worse than Jeff Hardy coming back (!). How many more time does Taker need to squash the FBI? This is the 3rd time. The stuff w/ Booker? Dawn/Torrie? Blah.
As for Velocity, the tag match looks like it could be decent. Spike over Knoble? Knoble can take Rey to the distance, but can't beat uber-jobber?
You look at Raw, where they got their shit together, and then you look at SD, where they just let it go to shit, and you just have to shake your head.
The Booker/Undertaker feud is simply stupid but HAD potential if only it had been done over the long haul. Then it could have been funny, even though God forbid WWE make light of the UNDERTAKER (boo!). Ms. Cleo, some Voodoo shit, maybe a guest appearence by Stevie Ray getting squashed, Papa Shango one night only, Uganda, all types of craziness. But see that would be entertaining, and this is the WWE.
Dupree/Cena angle has no backbone. It's been thrown together.
Torrie can't act. Get heroff my TV. Where is her husband Kidman to protect her? Why are the fans treated like dumb shits?
WHY would you let Jackie win the title? She hasn't been on TV in months. She's great, I personally love her, but to put the title on her is STUPID. Chavo had a good thing going and now it has been made meaningless and the CW title looks like crap. This was the worst decision of the night. I was lookign so forward to this to see who they were going to bring out to face Chavo. What a great opportunity for say, PAUL LONDON, or JIMMY YANG as JIMMY YANG and not Akio, or ANYBODY BUT A DAMN WOMEN WRESTLER WHO HASNT SEEN A SECOND OF TV TIME IN OVER A DAMN YEAR!!!
Guerrero/The Dudley AGAIN???
Rico and Haas on Velocity and NOT Smackdown after the pops they have been getting???
Who is booking this GARBAGE!? If TNA wasn't the shitzzledrips and there was some competition, WWE would be "sucking pond water", as JR said once...
Was it Takerīs hand or Mordecaiīs or someone elseīs coming out of that grave? ....Forget it! I donīt really care! Probably it was Mordecaiīs and now heīs pissed, cause Booker disturbed him by taking that "holy dirt"!? At JD he could most likely seek for revenge and accidently knock the Takerīs lights out which would lead to Booker winning and Taker/Mordecai feuding!? Stupid shit! They are booking for twelve years olds!
Jaqueline is the CW champ?? WOW! Now THAT will put asses in seats!
Why in the blue hell did Eddy have to hit RVD with a chair? Cause his mom got hurt a few days ago? Absolute bullshit! Eddy looks more and more like an idiot and it isnīt even his fault! I hope Van Dam sooner or later turns on him and brings that golden strap home!
I guess I'm in the minority. I think the Booker T thing sounds old-school and awesome. And it's a good way to bring in Mordecai, if they choose to.
Also, I think Cena-Dupree is a good mid-card feud. Good heat on both sides and two young guys trying to get over. I'm entertained by it.
I could have done without Jackie winning, but Chavo sucks so I don't mind him not having it AND I can't see Jackie holding onto it very long, so what's the big deal there. It's an ironic, weird thing to do. Unpredictable.
I do wish Rico/Haas would have been on the main show.
(edited by The Amazing Salami on 5.5.04 0713)
The Amazing Salami's Not-So-Random W of the Arbitrary Segment of Time
TARNISH Tarnish says:It was one of the best beers I've had in yonks.
Wow, I had a feeling they'd use Eddie's mom. Well, that's WWE for you. I haven't watched Smackdown regularly for about 3 months (due to my job), and my streak will be alive too. How lame.
After a quarter of a century on this planet, there's three things I know for sure... 1)Ain't nothing like a Dirty Pair marathon on New Year's Eve. 2)I'd make a fine Mrs. HHH II. 3) I'd make an acceptable Mrs. Orton. 1400 reasons to luv me!
Most of that actually sounds pretty entertaining to me. I guess I'm funny like that though.
Sure Jackie as Cruiser champ is a bit dumb, but maybe it's being done to set up a slight shift in character for Chavo from cocky champ to whiny bitch, or vengeful psychopath.
The Booker/Taker stuff actually sounds pretty sweet to me, if for no other reason than I'm curiuous to see who the hand belongs to.
Letting Rene have a serious, brutal beatdown helps to build his character and move him away from the silliness that was early La Resistance. And psycho Eddie's bound to be a whole lot of fun to watch. Maybe they're even starting to set up an RVD heel turn at last.
There are other ways to facilitate a character shift in Chavo without putting one of the most potentially entertaining championships on a BAD women's wrestler who has never been over, who hasn't been on TV in months, who has somehow jumped shows without anybody batting an eyelid. It's fucking insanity, and it's a kick to the nuts of Noble, London, Moore, Akio, Kidman, Nunzio, Mysterio and ESPECIALLY Chavo. The one time they decide to use somt involves the worst angle in that company's history!
The only match...the ONLY match...that holds any intererst for the PPV is Rene/Cena, and that's being carried through the build-up by 100% charisma and 0% in-ring action, which does NO bode well for the blow-off match. The Eddie build is too little, too late, and they're stealing booking tip from fucking Monkey Island II for Taker/Booker. In-fucking-sane.
Smackdown again looks crappy on paper. But, I dont think it will be as bad as it looks. There are definately some upsides to alot of what will happen on Thursday.
Chavo is bound to get more interesting out due to losing his title to a woman wrestler. I can see him snapping and starting to take out random cruiserweights backstage and in the ring, until he gets his title back.
If Smackdown really is being positioned as a more family-friendly show, the cheese factor of the Booker/Taker angles can be attributed to that. I think it's safe to say, the younger you are, the more you like freaky stuff related to the Undertaker. And those who grew up with the Undertaker probably don't mind getting away from reality for a while to enjoy some old-school gimmicktry. I doubt Taker's entire character will be based off such nonsense, but it's fun in small doses. Plus, compared to the production values of 10 years ago, today's creepy Undertaker stuff is a hundred times cooler to watch.
Rene definately has seemed like a whiney biatch lately, and Cena has definately seemed too much like Superman, so Rene taking out Cena is a good move. It actually put some personal hatred in their feud. Hopefully they can get it done in a good match at Judgement Day. Does Rene have a trademark finisher yet?
Eddie going psycho and even taking out RVD goes perfectly with his character. He didn't become the top face on Smackdown by kissing babies and defending the world from villians. He did it by showing his temper, bending the rules, and being so entertaining to watch as he did. He's got a reason to be absolutely livid. This actually takes on alot of what make Austin such an awesome face character back in the day. He didn't fight for what was right, but he fought for what he wanted and screw anybody who stands in his way. Eddie is similar, in that he's an anti-hero of sorts. RVD was in the wrong place at the wrong time, thats all.
I can't really see an RVD heel turn, especially with the Dudleyz newly turned and all. Top faces right now are Eddie, Taker, Cena, RVD, and Rey. Top heels are Bradshaw (just gotta accept it!), Booker, Dudleyz, and Rene. I think that's fairly balanced, and theres no reason for RVD to turn. Chavo can always be thrown in there too, as he's always got issues with Eddie and Rey to fall back on. Plus, Taker will soon be busy with Mordecai, so theres another top face out of the upper card picture.
Lloyd: When I met Mary, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her. Harry: That's a special feeling.
How are you going to turn RVD hel? I can see it, but it's difficult at best. He's going to get cheered. He has a better chance on SD then on RAW, because he was way over on RAW but seems sorta lost here on SD.
He can act all cocky and shit but..... he does that anyway. I don't see how people will turn on him. He's R---V---D!
its a wonder if they are doing this on purpose, or what. Since the draft show and 1st SD after it when booker debuted talking about hate show being the "minor leagues" thats what they've turned it into. The original "wwf" linear belt is not the most important title in the world right now. Not from where I'm sitting.
Fuckin' rights, I already got half a fuckin' buzz on
UPCOMING RAW ANNOUNCED MATCHES: Christian vs. Chris Jericho [Steel Cage Match] Edge vs. Randy Orton [Intercontinental Championship] Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin [Round 3] Batista vs. Tajiri [Will Batista Get Misted AGAIN???] Eugene vs. Rob Conway [Eugene's First Match!]
UPCOMING SMACKDOWN ANNOUNCED MATCHES: John Cena vs. Doug Basham Chavo Guerrero vs. Jacqueline [Cruiserweight Championship] The Undertaker vs. Nunzio & Johnny Stamboli Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie [Yet Again] The Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio [Bait & Switch...AGAIN]
The edge? Definately RAW. Edge/Orton will be fun, as will Christian/Jericho. HHH/Benjamin has history. Batista/Tajiri will have the clash of styles...but both guys seem to be trying. And Eugene/Conway could steal the damned show.
THE NHL'S FINAL FOUR: Western Conference Final: San Jose Sharks vs. Calgary Flames [Game 1: Sunday] Eastern Conference Final: Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Philadelphia Flyers [Game 1: Saturday]
Originally posted by oldschoolheroThere are other ways to facilitate a character shift in Chavo without putting one of the most potentially entertaining championships on a BAD women's wrestler who has never been over, who hasn't been on TV in months, who has somehow jumped shows without anybody batting an eyelid. It's fucking insanity, and it's a kick to the nuts of Noble, London, Moore, Akio, Kidman, Nunzio, Mysterio and ESPECIALLY Chavo.
I'm not saying it couldn't have been done better, but I'd say that we should at least see where they're going with it before declaring it the worst thing EVER. Its not so long since folks was bitching because Steph would be back on TV a month after she quit, HHH got HBK involved at WM so he wouldn't have to tap, Eugene would never get over, they blew the Christian/Jericho angle too quickly, and so on and so on.
The writing on SD has been pretty lame of late, but there's certainly been enough good stuff on both brands over the last 6 months that I'd say we can at least cut them come slack. The very ridiculousness of Jackie as champ may be exactly why they're using her for the role. Maybe they'll stick an increasingly frustrated Chavo on a losing streak before he finally snaps and beats the living snot out of all and sundry.
Maybe they'll use her to give one of the other cruisers you mention a more sadistic side by having them be merciless in beating her for the title. We don't know. But bitching about something which not only hasn't been played out but hasn't even freaking aired yet is a bit much.
And spare me the violins for all those other cruisers. It's not like Jackie's go0ne over each and every one clean. She had one squiffy low-blow induced win over an overly cocky Chavo and thats it so far. And Kidman, and Noble could right a thesis on having no heat, in the course of which they could heavily reference young Nunzio.
The only match...the ONLY match...that holds any intererst for the PPV is Rene/Cena, and that's being carried through the build-up by 100% charisma and 0% in-ring action, which does NO bode well for the blow-off match.
I quite like the idea of not having the two go at it before the PPV. Its a pleasant change from having them go at it on TV through the random tag generator build up, or having a singles match on SD which ends through interference or foreign objects.
The Eddie build is too little, too late,
I'd agree that they could have done more to build Bradshaw as a credible main eventer, but given that the guy providing the spoilers says he got a shit load of heat it seems a bit harsh to write off the feud per se.
they're stealing booking tip from fucking Monkey Island II for Taker/Booker. In-fucking-sane.
And WHAT good sir, is wrong with Monkey Island II?
I'll grant you this feuds totally down to personal taste, but I've quite enjoyed uber-cocky Booker and I'm certainly not tired of Takers new/old gimmick yet. A lt of course will depend on what happens at the PPV, but up till now I'm relatively satisfied.
All in all SD has more or less sucked since WM, but it showed signs of recovery the last two weeks, and this show sounds OK, at least on paper to me. If I'm being honest, it probably wouldn't be enough to make me pay for Judgement Day if I had to (which is arguably what really matters), but given the roster hits they've taken, they would have had a hell of a job getting me to do so in any case.
In our main event tonight, we take a look back at RAW 1000 - aw, really? Bleah. Also tonight: SIN CARA takes on DREW McINTYRE - hey wait, we had this match LAST episode - is it too cynical of me to assume whoever lost last week will win tonight?