Since last post: 19 days
Last activity: 7 days
|#1 Posted on 5.5.04 0424.47 | Instant Rating: 6.45|
|SPOILERS BE HERE! [From Rajah.com reader Shane; Edited for clarity by Freeway420]|
Smackdown opens with no pyros. Michael Cole stands in the ring and addressed the crowd about an incident at an El Paso house show on Sunday involving Eddie Guerrero's mother.
We see the footage from El Paso, where Eddie invites his family to the ring, including his mother. JBL comes out to the ring and decks Eddie with his WWE Title. Then he gets in Eddie's mother's face, and the two have some heated
words. Eventually, JBL puts his hands on her, and she collapses to the ground, suffering a heart attack. JBL quickly gets the hell out of dodge. She's carted out of the ring by EMTs as her family, including Eddie, watch in horror.
Non title match: U.S. Champion John Cena vs. Doug Basham w/Danny Basham
Cena comes out to a fantastic reaction, wearing a Tom Chambers Phoenix Suns jersey. He does another great rap on the Bashams and Rene Dupree. A good half dozen "Cena" chants break out. Cena eventually beats Doug with the FU,
despite Danny's attempts at interference.
Winner: John Cena
Cruiserweight title match: Chavo Guerrero w/Chavo Guerrero Classic vs. Jacqueline
Yep. Chavo puts out an open challenge, declaring it "Chavo vs. the World." "Chavo sucks" chants break out more than once. Jacqueline comes out. Chavo gets back on the mic, asking Jackie if she's serious, she doesn't have a chance against a man, and so forth. After about 2 mintues of this, Jackie slaps him, and it's on. Jackie gets a little offensive flurry going, but Chavo dominates most of the match. At one point, the referee is destracted by Chavo
Classic (Sr.) while Chavo Jr. stands on top of Jacqueline. Jacqueline low blows Chavo, rolls him up, gets the 1-2-3, and the crowd erupts. The Chavos can't believe it. It was the moment of the night.
Winner and new Cruiserweight Champion: Jacqueline
Booker T goes to see a psychic to find out what's going to happen between him and The Undertaker at Judgment Day. The psychic, a Miss Cleo clone, tells him that a dead man has risen from the black shadows and is after him. She gives
him several random items as part of some sort of spell to keep him safe, but tells Booker he needs one more thing: dirt from an unmarked grave.
Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli enter the ring ready for a tag team match. Kurt Angle is wheeled out by (Luther Rains) to the entrance of the ring. Crowd chants "You suck" well after his music ends. Angle says he had hoped that the
disrespect he received last week at Oklahoma City was just an abberation, but apparently not. He says he?s very disappointed in us. Booooooo. On to business, Angle reminds us he promised last week that The Undertaker would
wrestle this week. He says he surveyed the locker room, and no one wanted to face the Dead Man. He turns his attention to the gentlemen in the ring; tells them he knows they were expecting a tag team match, but sometimes things don't work out as you expect. Therefore, Nunzio and Stamboli would be facing the Undertaker tonight. And that match will begin right now.
The Undertaker vs. Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli
Angle wheels himself to the back, and Paul Bearer leads The Undertaker to the ring. The crowd is, of course, going nuts. He does his usual entrance, raises his hand to turn on the lights, Mr. Bearer takes his jacket and hat, and
we're underway. Nunzio is thrown out of the ring early in the match; most of it featured Taker vs. Stamboli. Taker performs his top rope move, then wins with some random submission move on Stamboli.
Winner: The Undertaker
Post match: Nunzio reenters the ring and gets a Last Ride for his trouble. Taker then turns to Stamboli and tombstones him. The lights go back out, Taker pays
homage to the urn, and exits. The crowd is beside itself.
Later, we find Booker T at a graveyard looking for such a grave. He finds one, collects some dirt, and leaves. Zoom in on the tombstone, we see a gloved hand emerge from the dirt.
Rene Dupree comes down to the ring with Fifi, who looks scared to death, to do some guest commentary.
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie:
Pretty basic inexperienced ladies match. At one point, Torrie goes for the pin, and Dawn Marie puts her hand firmly on Torrie's rear end as she kicks out. Let's see if the camera catches that. Everyone on my side of the arena did. Anyway, toward the end, Rene tries to distract Torrie, but Torrie kicks him away, does a top rope move on Dawn Marie and gets the pin. Toward the end of the match, Cena comes out and stares down Dupree.
Winner: Torrie Wilson
After the match, Dupree goes after Cena. He nails Cena with a bunch of foreign objects, and powerbombs him through the American(!) announce table. Dupree gets in the ring and does his little French dance to a good deal of heat. Cena gets carried to the back.
Live from New York, Michael Cole and Tazz interview JBL. Even via satellite, he gets a lot of heat. Bradshaw says it wasn't his fault what happened, Eddie Guerrero's family had no business being in the ring, and it's possible his
mother faked the whole thing. He says he's in New York not because he's afraid of Guerrero but because he's there on business. He's on a show on CNBC, the "most respected financial channel in the world", or something to
that effect. He leaves us with a final thought: His people came to this country on a boat not an innertube.
Backstage, Paul Heyman tells Angle it would be inadvisable to allow Eddie Guerrero to compete in a tag team match with Rob Van Dam against the Dudley Boyz, because Eddie's in a bad mood and would certainly cause a good deal of physical harm to the Dudleys and they would have to sue the company. Angle says he made his point, and Eddie's out of the match.
Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio
The Dudleys come out to a mixed reaction, which turns into a lot of heat as the match goes on. Van Dam comes out to a great pop. His partner is a returning Rey Mysterio, who receives as loud a pop as RVD. The match lasts a good 15 minutes, with Mysterio hitting the 619 toward the end. The match ends as RVD performshis rolling thunder move on Bubba the same time that Mysterio hits a top-rope move.
Winners: Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio
Post-match, the Dudleys proceed to beat on their opponents. After some "Eddie" chants, Eddie Guerrero gives the crowd what they want and runs down to the ring. He grabs a chair and beats up everyone. Bubba, D-Von, RVD and a couple refs get chair shots. The top part of the chair comes off in the
process. He uses the chair for a good 2-3 minutes, then gives us a half-crazed look as the show goes off the air.
DARK MATCHES & VELOCITY [From same guy]
Report by: Shane, rajah.com reader
DARK: Mordecai vs. Shannon Moore:
Mordecai has awesome music. He comes to the ring dressed all in white. He beats Moore in what seemed like less than 2 minutes with a last ride-type powerbomb. Mordecai got decent heat.
Mark Jindrak w/Theordore Long vs. Scotty 2 Hotty:
Long gives "The Reflection of Perfection" a lengthy introduction before he comes out. The end comes when Scotty goes for a bulldog to set up The Worm, but Jindrak ducks and hits Scotty with a One & Only-type move [Cobra Clutch Slam] for the pin. A couple "Scotty" chants break out before all is said and done.
Winner: Mark Jindrak
Jamie Noble vs. Spike Dudley:
Spike gets a good pop, and Jamie gets a decent one, too. Good match between the cruiserweights, with Noble dominating most of the match. Spike wins with the
Winner: Spike Dudley
Orlando Jordan vs. Akio w/Sakoda:
Not much of a reaction for anyone here, though the Japanese gentlemen get some heat. Jordan wins, though I don't remember how.
Winner: Orlando Jordan
Non title match: Tag team champions Rico and Charlie Haas w/Miss Jackie vs. Billy Kidman and Paul London
Rico, Haas and Jackie get a nice pop. A "Rico" chant actually breaks out at one point. The fans appreciated the homoerotic humor he provided. And it was pretty damn funny. Haas gets the pin after 7 or 8 minutes.
Winners: Rico and Haas
(edited by Freeway420 on 5.5.04 0334)
TAMPA BAY beat MONTREAL 4-0
PHILADELPHIA leads TORONTO 3-2
CALGARY beat DETROIT 4-2
SAN JOSE leads COLORADO 3-2
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From: nWo Country
Since last post: 1665 days
Last activity: 1599 days
|#2 Posted on 5.5.04 0541.34 | Instant Rating: 5.54|
|That's it, I'm done with SmackDown.|
For Relaxing Times...Make It Suntory Time
From: Nashville, TN
Since last post: 53 days
Last activity: 21 hours
|#3 Posted on 5.5.04 0711.30 | Instant Rating: 4.67|
ZZZZZZZZZ ... gosh, I haven't watched a full episode of Smackdown in over a month ... and from the looks of this, I can keep my streak alive.
I'm Rick James, bitch.
From: New F'n Jersey
Since last post: 57 days
Last activity: 24 days
|#4 Posted on 5.5.04 0713.37 | Instant Rating: 5.75|
|This just can't be real...CAN IT? Allow me to indulge the inner smark here for a minute.|
FUCKIN' Jackie as the Cruiser champ? Booker going on a scavenger hunt after consulting a psychic? JBL not even showing up at the arena a week or so before JD?
This can't be happening. Oh, and Tom Chambers was overrated if anything.
(edited by Torchslasher on 5.5.04 0514)
"Did Webb see it?"- Cal Meechum
"Unless he's blind"- Joe Wilson
"Check him. Oh, and Joe, until we find out what happened all three of us are blind"- Cal
"I'll go poke Webb's eyes out"- Crow T. Robot
MST3K- The Movie
From: Philly Suburbs
Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 2 hours
|AIM: || ||#5 Posted on 5.5.04 0721.59 | Instant Rating: 4.05|
|Last week's SD wasn't that bad, but this show looks like crap? Jacqueline as cruiser champ? That's worse than Jeff Hardy coming back (!). How many more time does Taker need to squash the FBI? This is the 3rd time. The stuff w/ Booker? Dawn/Torrie? Blah.|
As for Velocity, the tag match looks like it could be decent. Spike over Knoble? Knoble can take Rey to the distance, but can't beat uber-jobber?
You look at Raw, where they got their shit together, and then you look at SD, where they just let it go to shit, and you just have to shake your head.
From: Brooklyn, NY
Since last post: 2733 days
Last activity: 2159 days
|AIM: || ||#6 Posted on 5.5.04 0731.18 | Instant Rating: 5.78|
|The Booker/Undertaker feud is simply stupid but HAD potential if only it had been done over the long haul. Then it could have been funny, even though God forbid WWE make light of the UNDERTAKER (boo!). Ms. Cleo, some Voodoo shit, maybe a guest appearence by Stevie Ray getting squashed, Papa Shango one night only, Uganda, all types of craziness. But see that would be entertaining, and this is the WWE. |
Dupree/Cena angle has no backbone. It's been thrown together.
Torrie can't act. Get heroff my TV. Where is her husband Kidman to protect her? Why are the fans treated like dumb shits?
WHY would you let Jackie win the title? She hasn't been on TV in months. She's great, I personally love her, but to put the title on her is STUPID. Chavo had a good thing going and now it has been made meaningless and the CW title looks like crap. This was the worst decision of the night. I was lookign so forward to this to see who they were going to bring out to face Chavo. What a great opportunity for say, PAUL LONDON, or JIMMY YANG as JIMMY YANG and not Akio, or ANYBODY BUT A DAMN WOMEN WRESTLER WHO HASNT SEEN A SECOND OF TV TIME IN OVER A DAMN YEAR!!!
Guerrero/The Dudley AGAIN???
Rico and Haas on Velocity and NOT Smackdown after the pops they have been getting???
Who is booking this GARBAGE!? If TNA wasn't the shitzzledrips and there was some competition, WWE would be "sucking pond water", as JR said once...
|Evil Antler God
Since last post: 2617 days
Last activity: 743 days
|#7 Posted on 5.5.04 0833.37 | Instant Rating: 5.68|
|The Booker T thing sounds oddly like Guybrush fetching objects for the voodoo lady. But yes, the rest of the show sounds quite dull.....I'll still mark out for Undertaker though.....|
From: Frankfurt, Germany
Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 3 hours
|#8 Posted on 5.5.04 0835.02 | Instant Rating: 1.11|
|Was it Takerīs hand or Mordecaiīs or someone elseīs coming out of that grave? ....Forget it! I donīt really care! Probably it was Mordecaiīs and now heīs pissed, cause Booker disturbed him by taking that "holy dirt"!? At JD he could most likely seek for revenge and accidently knock the Takerīs lights out which would lead to Booker winning and Taker/Mordecai feuding!? Stupid shit! They are booking for twelve years olds!|
Jaqueline is the CW champ?? WOW! Now THAT will put asses in seats!
Why in the blue hell did Eddy have to hit RVD with a chair? Cause his mom got hurt a few days ago? Absolute bullshit! Eddy looks more and more like an idiot and it isnīt even his fault! I hope Van Dam sooner or later turns on him and brings that golden strap home!
Canīt wait for Raw! SmackDown still sucks!
The first rule of Fight Club is:
You donīt talk about Fight Club!
The second rule of Fight Club is:
You donīt talk about Fight Club!
|The Amazing Salami
Since last post: 3465 days
Last activity: 3465 days
|#9 Posted on 5.5.04 0907.03 | Instant Rating: 4.50|
|I guess I'm in the minority. I think the Booker T thing sounds old-school and awesome. And it's a good way to bring in Mordecai, if they choose to.|
Also, I think Cena-Dupree is a good mid-card feud. Good heat on both sides and two young guys trying to get over. I'm entertained by it.
I could have done without Jackie winning, but Chavo sucks so I don't mind him not having it AND I can't see Jackie holding onto it very long, so what's the big deal there. It's an ironic, weird thing to do. Unpredictable.
I do wish Rico/Haas would have been on the main show.
(edited by The Amazing Salami on 5.5.04 0713)
The Amazing Salami's Not-So-Random
W of the Arbitrary Segment of Time
Tarnish says:It was one of the best beers I've had in yonks.
From: North Carolina
Since last post: 2 hours
Last activity: 57 min.
|#10 Posted on 5.5.04 0908.00 | Instant Rating: 5.24|
|About that gloved hand rising from the unmarked grave ... any chance it's the return of Underfaker? I'm not hoping for that, mind you.|
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Since last post: 2353 days
Last activity: 2352 days
|#11 Posted on 5.5.04 0948.58 | Instant Rating: 2.00|
|Wow, I had a feeling they'd use Eddie's mom. Well, that's WWE for you. I haven't watched Smackdown regularly for about 3 months (due to my job), and my streak will be alive too. How lame.|
After a quarter of a century on this planet, there's three things I know for sure...
1)Ain't nothing like a Dirty Pair marathon on New Year's Eve.
2)I'd make a fine Mrs. HHH II.
3) I'd make an acceptable Mrs. Orton.
1400 reasons to luv me!
From: Edinburgh, Scotland
Since last post: 16 days
Last activity: 3 hours
|#12 Posted on 5.5.04 1002.09 | Instant Rating: 5.22|
|Most of that actually sounds pretty entertaining to me. I guess I'm funny like that though.|
Sure Jackie as Cruiser champ is a bit dumb, but maybe it's being done to set up a slight shift in character for Chavo from cocky champ to whiny bitch, or vengeful psychopath.
The Booker/Taker stuff actually sounds pretty sweet to me, if for no other reason than I'm curiuous to see who the hand belongs to.
Letting Rene have a serious, brutal beatdown helps to build his character and move him away from the silliness that was early La Resistance. And psycho Eddie's bound to be a whole lot of fun to watch. Maybe they're even starting to set up an RVD heel turn at last.
From: nWo Country
Since last post: 1665 days
Last activity: 1599 days
|#13 Posted on 5.5.04 1022.01 | Instant Rating: 5.54|
|There are other ways to facilitate a character shift in Chavo without putting one of the most potentially entertaining championships on a BAD women's wrestler who has never been over, who hasn't been on TV in months, who has somehow jumped shows without anybody batting an eyelid. It's fucking insanity, and it's a kick to the nuts of Noble, London, Moore, Akio, Kidman, Nunzio, Mysterio and ESPECIALLY Chavo. The one time they decide to use somt involves the worst angle in that company's history! |
The only match...the ONLY match...that holds any intererst for the PPV is Rene/Cena, and that's being carried through the build-up by 100% charisma and 0% in-ring action, which does NO bode well for the blow-off match. The Eddie build is too little, too late, and they're stealing booking tip from fucking Monkey Island II for Taker/Booker. In-fucking-sane.
For Relaxing Times...Make It Suntory Time