This is starting to become painful. It's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!
Tag Team Tournament (Part 5): Mysterio continues to be a "Put-Me-Over" machine. OMG GANZOBOMB by Simmons! Hometown hero Edge wins via Edgecution.
Funaki: Tajiri speaks Spanish! Anyway, I'm looking forward to a Nidia face turn!
WWE ANTHOLOGY: Oh, wow. It's the Ultimate Warrior!
Noble vs. Nidia; Special Referee: Tajiri: Great. More violence against women. And instead of a Nidia face turn, I get a beatdown on Tajiri. PFFFFT!
Undertaker: He talks about kicking ass. Same old, same old. At least it was short.
Benoit et Guerrero: These two are GOLD! And Benoit doesn't even need to open his mouth! GOLD, I SAY!
Kidman vs. Cena: OMG! The ugly tights do a heel turn! "CENA SUCKS!" chant... High spots galore! Cena wins via backslide, with feet on the ropes.
Jackass: The Movie: Why is it that they put that "WARNING" sign all the time, yet people still injure themselves imitating it? Wrestling I can understand, but Jackass?
Lesnar vs. Palumbo: Oh no! Chuck's heterosexual friend Billy is injured! Cole and Tazz shill Hell in a Cell. Lesnar wins via F5, and gets an Undertaker beatdown.
8 Mile: Go see Eminem's movie.
Torrie et Mr. Wilson: She knows about him Dawn Marie! Oh, no!
Dawn Marie/Hardy vs. Rikishi/Torrie: That entrance is the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life. I SEE BREWGUY'S SIGN! HOLY SHIT I SEE BREWGUY'S SIGN! Dawn Marie wins via Hardy. Matt Hardy fucking rules. But any way, I saw BREWGUY'S SIGN! YOU RULE, GRIZZLY!
Torrie: GO, MR. WILSON! GO!
The Main Event: Tag Team Tournament (Part 5): Edge and Mysterio beatdown everyone...and we go to commercial break.
The Main Event (Part 2): Yes! Smart fans! Chant for angle, smarks! "WE WANT ANGLE!" "WE WANT ANGLE!" OMG I SEE BREWGUY! I'm marking out! Everyone's bumping like crazy! ANGLE SLAM! It's Benoit/Angle vs. Edge/Mysterio for the titles at No Mercy!
Stephanie: DAMMIT! He's gonna wear the cast! Shit! Beat his ass, Brock! And that idiot Heyman gets his butt whipped. PFFFFFT!
That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and now, my new slogan, is "Please Support Chris Benoit!" Join my honorable crusade, Wieners!
Frick, BrewGuy, I saw you! (you're a famous weiner now)
BBQ sause DOES go with everything.
Man, these bros. of destruction sure do have messed-up relationships.
Edge, in burgundy trenchcoat and red/flame trunks, and Rey, in gold mask w. white feathers and gold/coat-of-arms trunks, vs. DVon, in fishey shirt, and Ron, in black trunks. Yummy match!
The dozen words of Japanese I know pay-off; Tajiri says "baka". Jerry Springer stuff.
Noble, in flannel/jeans (both cutoff) vs. Nidia, in tank top and Daisy Dukes. Huh? Well, at least it's character development.
Tazz wears a black suit w. orange handkercheif (in his coat pocket), Cole wears a white shirt. Taker wears a black hooded sweatshirt and a cast. Man, more details of messed-up sex life. At least it was short.
Eddie/Chavo...strut. Ben-wa doesn't HAVE to talk (Eddie does enough).
Brocky, Paul, and Chick...move.
Kidman, in black/purple full-cuts vs. Cena (and a heel promo) in blue/white ensamble. Hey, Cena is Smackdown!'s (uninjured) Randy Orton! Cheat to win. GOod match and character development.
Steph - oh oh, slightly curly hair! Paul uses logic. Steph books a match in retribution.
Booker, baby, terrorizes the frozen food aisle. Somebody FEED him!
Taker rants and Steph reasons. That poor lamp was just one day away from retirement.
Brocky, in longhorn-skull undies, and wearing the belt, with Paul, vs. Chuck, in "CP" black undies. Nice match. Hey, now Steph HAS to nix the cast.
Damnit, Torrie's dad is freakin' me out!
Dawn, in white top/bottom and black boots, and Matt, in black shirt and with a funky, choppy entrance video, vs. AssMan, in dragon-star skirt, and Torrie, also in white top/bottom (but with white boots). I laughed when 'kishi gave Dawn a piggyback ride into Matt. Okay and funny match, but two EvilAssManeuvers is too many.
Hey, does Pete Rose know about Kane's past, too? Maybe HE's the one who told Thhhor (as revenge for this humiliating No Mercy ad).
Ben-wa DOESN'T TALK and Kurt. That face says it all.
Torrie learns a dark secret. Gouge your eyes out!
Kurt, in flag singlet, with medals, and Ben-wa, in blue/silver blade trunks, vs. Eddie, in red "Latino" trunks w. black flames and Chavo, in black trunks w. red flames. HOT crowd, suplexes, headbutt!, submission moves. Great match (cool how the crowd chanted for Angle during the match and then did "you suck" afterward).
Steph's announcement. Eh, I don't care; I'm not gonna get the PPV anyway.
Good show, but the Raw half of the PPV doesn't make it worthwhile. At least my Thursdays are fun viewing.
Fashion Reporter Extraordinare
My life is like one big masturbation joke. Which explains the laughter. And, of course, the masturbation.
Since everyone else is doing it (ok, not EVERYONE, but...)
Vikings (1-4) - A win is a win. Badgers (5-2) - Indiana? INDIANA?!?! *sigh* Twins (OUT) - Oh well, if we're still around next year... Buffy 7.3 earns a 8.04 Out of 10 for being the funny, but throwing out enough plot contrivances to last us the whole damn season. Anya however = Hillarious.
Originally posted by The ShamWHY IN THE HELL WOULD UT NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR THE CAST?!
Hell in the Cell is a NO DQ match... it should have never even been a question.
(edited by The Sham on 17.10.02 2206)
If this was the case, you'd be able to bring your own lead pipe, or baseball bat, or something into the cell with you, right? I think it's more a question of bringing in an outside weapon. If you get out of the cage, or use something in the cage already, it's all fair game.
And of course, Brock's a heel, so of course he'd try and make sure that UT doesn't get an advantage, even in a no DQ match.
With poison running through your veins, and death marching solemnly towards you, heroic acts become more of a necessity as you see your time dwindling.
Vanquishing your enemies, making amends to those you have wronged, and leaving words of love and kindness for those around you become second nature as your own mortality looms
However, true strength lies not in these last desperate acts, but in the actions of one who has to get out of bed the next day and face the consequences of doing that which you believe is right.
I should be on EVERY show. That way, if you don't like what you're watching, you can just watch ME.
I must remember to make my sign bigger next time - you could see the logo well, but not the writing at the bottom. Plus, holding up a sign when you're right behind Rikishi ain't gonna do much. Damnit, I should've brought a [slash] sign.
After seeing the show, they really didn't edit that much at all. I think they cut down the Cena/Kidman match a bit (it seemed a lot longer live), and they moved Eddy's promo up (if memory serves, it was shown right before the main event live), but they didn't edit the crowd noise much - in fact, Tazz totally played up the fact that the T.O. crowd wanted to see Angle in there during the main event. Awesome.
Should I start getting all cocky and talking in the third person, feel free to give me a Mattitude adjustment. Until then, it's all about MEMEMEMEMEMEME
EDIT: Oh, and they kept the cast on so Brock can rip it off during Hell In A Cell, I'd bet. :)
And then CONSUME the cast, rip off his mask, and reveal he was BREWGUY THE ENTIRE TIME!
And while we're on the subject for signage, I'll have a couple at No Mercy this Sunday. I don't know how much they'll be on the TV, though. Look for "BRING BACK GANGREL," definitely. I'm trying to think of a couple others. Gotta have a CRZ reference, and I was thinking of some variant of "THEY FOUND YOUR SEMEN," but you just know the sign police won't let that one fly.
Originally posted by ManiacalClownI was thinking of some variant of "THEY FOUND YOUR SEMEN," but you just know the sign police won't let that one fly.
I should make a Mattitude sign. :)
Maybe if you made it "OMFG! THEY FOUND UR SEA MEN!" it'd be passable by the sign police. I wish I could have watched SmackDown! but my sister was watching stupid survivor for dummies, then CSI for pooheads, so I didn't get to watch SmackDown! I suck.
Hey I made the show too... yay me but up in the top level because I'm cheap =)
-Rey/Edge v. D-von/Simmons - First off I'm so happy Simmons changed his name so I don't have to misspell Farooq every time I mention him =). It's always fun to see Rey/Edge so I liked this match.
-Noble v. Nidia- It came off really bad live (cause I couldn't hear the backstage interview). It came off a little better on TV with Tazz making the match very tounge and cheek. But still I found it uncomfortable. Boyfriend/ girlfriend trashy arguing = funny. Boyfriend/ girlfriend in ring fighting = not fun. First time in a long time I didn't enjoy what these two did.
-Cena v. Kidman- Called it Cena wearing MapleLeaf blue/ white. Good match nothing outstanding. It was a nice average match.
-Brock v. Chuck- This was WAY better then I thought it was going to be. The little offense CHuck got Brock sold amazing. Running into a mule kick (both legs) OUCH. This was a real surprise.
-Matt/Dawn v. Rikishi/Torrie- This is a tough match cause I absolutly adore the heels and can't stand Rikishi and well Torrie is err. Freakin Amazing intro when I say it live I freaked out, It comes off good in person. I'm still in shock over how Mattitude has taken off... Matt shielding his face with Dawn. OMG what heelness (PLEASE DO THAT TO LITA). Fine comedy match
-Angle/Benoit v. Eddie/Chavo- OMG how good it this was. Very exciting. The fans were eating up Angle. Liked this match. SHOULD HAVE ENDED THE SHOW. Funny fans sung you suck to angle when he came in. Yelled "We want angle" during the match. And sung you suck afterwards (lol)
-CastDown- Wow a lot of focus on mold on some guys arm. Don't care, find it boring, OH great Undertaker offense is even MORE limited now. but now he's got an excuse.
-other stuff - Takers opening promo boring as hell actually was "whated out of the arena" ohh WWE must protect his boringness by taking the what's away... Boy is that Tracy chick fully loaded. Good gawd. Oh Paul was great actually making a decent point... Benoit/Guerreros was freakin awesome as hell, got a great reaction live. Eddie was just too funny so was Chavo "Your hurting my feelings homs"... Backstage MVP OLD MAN WILSON, He was awesome, we know who got the acting talent in that family. HIm fully clothed in the showere with a NAKED DAWN. I heard he's Torrie's dad legit. HOW THE HELL did he luck into this cameo angle. Poor Stu Hart had to have Lawler call him brain dead. But OLD MAN WILSON is up against Dawn freakin Marie in a shower!! Man won the WWE lottery of family memeber cameos.
Line of the night: Eddie to Benoit "YOur hurtin my feelings hom's"
Sign of the night: Brew Guys sign of course =)
(edited by Net Hack Slasher on 18.10.02 0423) WWE new slogan "WWE: circling the drain"
Looky-loo! It's the Brewguy show, starring Brewguy! Damn, that was some mad face time, holmes... although I'm pretty sure Jimmy Average Viewer was saying "Uh, Hey ma, how come that big guy keeps a-holdin' his sign upside down?"
In other news...
TAKE YOUR DAMN SHIRT OFF, AL! You're not 12, this is not a public pool, and you aren't the kid with man-teets everyone picks on... are you? If WEEEE fans can cheer Hogan's rich Cordovian sag and Rikishi's oatmeal-in-a-sack "poo cannon" (tm DEAN~!), I think Mr. Wilson's paunch would be acceptable viewing.
Funaki interviewing Tajiri was rather kickass, I must say. Tajiri: [Japanese] Noble-uh (makes international sign for 'cuckoo') cuh-razy. Needia (again) cuhrazy. ME: OMGROTFLMAO AND OTHER ACRONYMS TO EXPRESS CHILDISH GLEE. And then he busts out the Spanglish, to boot. AND THEN the obligitory face turn that had already happened in the heart and mind of every real American and rasslin' afficionado.
The angle was pointless, but Paul's slimy "reasoning" tone, and later blade job made that whole thing work. And Taker works best with a prop, so I have NO PROBLEM with the cast. Taker may be old and broke-down, but he still kicks it with the PSYCHOLOGY. And blood on the cast wasn't quite as awesome this week, but is still mighty fun.
The main event rocked my meager shit, as expected, but the booking gets ye olde WTF. Eddie and Chavo are BY FAR the best choice for tag champs - The Angle/Benoit Megapowers will self destruct and though Eddie/Rey are fun, they're not a logical enough team to last the month. I assume they're setting up Angle face turn v.2 for a Brock vs Angle run sometime soon, but Benoit/Angle 2 was RIGHT THERE and now Eddie doesn't have a PPV match. Bleh.
And now, a sign idea especially for YOU ManiacalClown:
I'm so tired of all the yapping about Gayda's in-ring ability. Give it a rest! Let me tell you, I saw more blown spots and sloppy moves in last night's Goldberg/Booker-Jericho/Christian train wreck than in the infamous Gayda-Trish intergender match.