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The W - Pro Wrestling - Smackdown 9/19/08 - Hurricane Helms Is Coming Through!
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Psycho Penguin
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Since: 24.6.07
From: Greenacres FL

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.91
Let's see how this one goes tonight. First time I haven't read spoilers in a while.

Jeff Hardy vs THE Brian Kendrick and Triple H vs MVP tonight. Well, as long as they're bringing innovative original matches like this, I'm happy.

Divas Title - Michelle McCool vs Maryse - Why is Maryse getting another title shot? They haven't even mentioned it on commentary. Pretty good match, Maryse is improving and hotter than ever. She's a great heel diva. I'm really starting to like her. Maybe I am just nuts, but this match and their PPV match are two of the better diva matches I have seen in a while. Michelle retains with the Wings of Love, dammit.

They teamed Vickie with Big Show so she doesn't look like a giant ogre, yes? Eve's chin bothers me. "I've been training hard to get into the ring." *Vickie breaks down laughing* Epic. Video package to remind us that, yes, they want us to pay for another Big Show/Undertaker match.

Eagle Eye looks like the kind of movie I'd like. I might go see it when it comes out. Is Hurricane Ike the worst hurricane since Katrina or is it another case of media overhype?

Uh oh, they're showing inside a bar. Thank God this isn't 1999.

BISCUITS AND GRAVY MADE ME A MAN. Awesome.

Festus vs Ryan Braddock - I'm not the biggest fan of Jesse but Festus would be awesome with the right gimmick. Why is JR mentioning the lame joke behind Kenny's name every week? Ryan Braddock's first few weeks have been truly bizarre. What are they trying to accomplish here? I like his entrance music, entrance, and look, but he'll probably be jobbing in ROH this time next year. Festus hits his finisher and they duct tape Ryan up like they did Kenny last week. Okay.

RYAN BRADDOCK HAS WON A MATCH!!

The Geico commercial with Mrs. Butterworth is my favorite commercial now.

They're still moving Ryan Braddock. They sure are slow. Carlito's Cabana is back! Did they hold him off TV just so he could grow out his hair again? And hey Vickie, Undertaker gets on his knees for no women. Except Michelle McCool.

Shelton is getting better with these pre-taped promos on the titantron before he comes out. He talks about his opponents making mistakes and he doesn't and that's why he is the gold standard. This means he will make a mistake and lose.

Shelton Benjamin vs R-Truth - Oh God, I got a bad feeling about this one. R-Truth sings his theme song while walking through the crowd. I wonder how man TNA chants will have to be edited out. Back and forth match, a lot more interesting with Shelton on offense as you may expect. R-Truth misses the ass kick, Shelton goes for a suplex, R-Truth rolls him up and wins. Fuck. I hate when they start angles or titles with a non title match win, and they do it with the US title a lot.



OH SHIT!!! Hurricane Helms (he called himself that!) returns after a 19 month absence in a tiny thought bubble and says he's back and the price of gold just went down. AWESOME. I love Helms. Weird way to come back after such a long absence but a Shelton/Helms feud? YOU CAN HAVE MY MONEY, WWE.

Jeff Hardy vs THE Brian Kendrick - This should be good. I like Jeff Hardy's music, but that retarded dance sre is even gayer with this song. Kendrick's entrance is just awesome. Fantastic dancing and the song is phenomenal. Jeff Hardy with a mic = bad idea. And he's been in the WWE for 10 years? THAT'S NOT TRUUUUUUEEEEEEEE. Kendrick interrupts Hardy's promo against Kozlov, thank god. There's a funny kid doing the Kendrick dance in the audience when Kendrick enters the ring. Hardy beats Kendrick in a fun match. Of course. So, who is Jeff feuding with? HHH? Kozlov? Kendrick?

And as I say that, Jeff poses on the entrance and Kozlov comes in and kicks him where his face used to be then yells and does the MEAN RUSSIAN STARE. What the hell is going on? using Kozlov as a backup so when Jeff gets fired they can use him? Why not just use him to begin with?

Big Show says he saw The Undertaker and the Undertaker is here. That means The Undertaker is not here. FIRST PERSON CAMERA VIEW FOR THE WIN. Baha, it's just Chavo Guerrero. Somebody's gonna get their ass kicked. Hey, let's show that Undertaker/Big Show video package in case you didn't get the subtle nuances of it the first time they showed it tonight.

I still can't believe they are showing Wrestlemania 24 on free TV. They're really pushing the debut of Smackdown on that new channel.

I went to make a sandwich but Carlito's Cabana started with Primo and Carlito laughing about how easy their match was, then Carlito telling Primo it's not a co hosted show. Zack and Not Zack come out with their awesome theme song and another Helms thought bubble. Yay. Tag title match next week, and out come Jesse and Festus with more bubble wrap. Okay. Hawkins and Ryder sneak attack the Colons and all hell breaks loose in Nashville. Primo rings the bell and Festus goes nuts, baha. Festus chases Zack and Not Zack with a palm tree, as even JR picks up on how bizarre that is. Awesome segment.

I miss ditzy Maria. I hate Maria though so hopefully she gets fired. When the hell did she become a fashion designer? Bria Bella wants two of the same exact outfits. Baha. Victoria and Natalya break up the promo and accuse Brie of having an affair with Hornswaggle. lol. Detectives on the case here. Victoria says Maria can't even design for a thrift store and rips up Maria's design.

Scotty Goldman vs Great Khali - Uh oh. Goldman's entrance is fine, the promo in the box was interesting. Definite comedy character and it's not very funny. Khali whoops that ass and unfortunately does not yell at a telephone afterwards. "No laughing matter here." Yes, thank god Hugh Morrus has not showed up to ruin this great match.

Khali vs Kozlov next week? What the FUCK? Are they really wanting to build up Kozlov that uch without realizing they are booking a heel vs heel match for no reason? And they really are hyping next week's show, that's three matches announced for next week now.

Mr. Perfect DVD. Watch it. Best thing they've done in a while.

Every time I see a Quarantine remake preview, a part of my soul dies.



Tazz announces that Smackdown more than doubled ESPN's college football rating last week. Whatever they can get, I guess. I'm a huge college football nut and I don't even remember what game was on last Friday night on ESPN. Tonight's game is decent though, I'm going to watch it after this show is over.

RAW Rebound time. The No Mercy main event is either going to make or break the show.

La Familia is still together? What the fuck? Didn't they split up already? Just in case you didn't get the memo the first two times, the Big Show beat up The Undertaker. In black and white, no less. And the TV screen goes crazy with all sorts of weird Undertaker shit and he appears on the screen and his music plays and all that. First person camera again and this time it appears to be Undertaker as he chokes out Chavo. Okay.

Triple H vs MVP - I like HHH's music but it's getting kind of old and it's the weakest of all the theme songs he's had since splitting from DX at WM15. MVP's theme song is all kinds of awesome and that entrance is classic. JR's not overrating the importance of this match at all, no sir. "HHH won't make mistakes a second time." Well, he did dump Chyna for Stephanie, so JR makes a good point there. And I don't think he's called himself bi lately. "Triple H hits MVP in the nose." Thank god it's not the other way around.

COMMERCIAL BREAK. Just what this match needed. I need a snack.

MVP with a heat segment. It'd be awesome if HHH mentioned a heat segment next week in a promo. Hell, it'd be great if he stopped the match, grabbed a mic, said "What just happened was called a heat segment. MVP beat me up for a few minutes so you can get sympathy for me, then I will come back and kick his ass and you will be happy." Chances of this happening < chances of me having sex with Velvet Sky.

MVP off the top rope, HHH blocks it, KICK WHAM YOU KNOW THE DEAL. HHH wins, hey there's news.

Here comes Kozlov. Tazz sums it up best, "what the?" Seriously, just what the hell is going on? Kozlov beats up HHH and leaves him laying.

Good episode, they're really setting up future shows now which is a nice change of pace. They really need to lay off the Big Show/Undertaker black and white video package though.

(edited by Psycho Penguin on 19.9.08 2205)

(edited by Psycho Penguin on 19.9.08 2206)

(edited by Psycho Penguin on 19.9.08 2213)

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mikebuk
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Since: 22.11.03
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.17
Yep Jeff's memory is suffering or maybe they want us to think he can't possibly have been here so long. His WWF debut was in 1994 vs Razor Ramon as a 16-year old.

'OK Undertaker, we just want you to fly over to put your arm up and wrap it around Chavo's throat'.

What the heck is the Jesse and Festus removal men/bubblewrap stuff all about ? - I suggest we check the Wellness Policy to see if it includes the writers.



Mike Brailsford - Quiz champion & Web Ring Master
CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.24
    Originally posted by Psycho Penguin
    I still can't believe they are showing Wrestlemania 24 on free TV. They're really pushing the debut of Smackdown on that new channel.
They're not showing WM24 on free TV, they're showing a highlight package, compiled from a nearly four hour show, that will air in a one hour slot. Take out ads and you're talking, what, 42 minutes? It's not WrestleMania is what I'm saying.
    Originally posted by mikebuk
    What the heck is the Jesse and Festus removal men/bubblewrap stuff all about ? - I suggest we check the Wellness Policy to see if it includes the writers.
It's an American thing you wouldn't understand, but let's see if I can explain it. (By the way, I love that a QUIZ CHAMPION! has to ask questions like this.)

1. Jesse & Festus are dressed up like moving men!
2. The company is called "MyMoving Co.!"
3. Smackdown is MOVING to a new network in two weeks!
4. That network is known as MyNetwork!

Get It?™

(edited by CRZ on 19.9.08 2213)


John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 53 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.83
McCool's title defenses are more handpicked than Rocky Balboa's after he beat Apollo Creed. Crickets are too bored to chirp during these Divas Title matches. Maryse is growing on me, though. She's pretty good at feigning being hurt, usually her face or her nose, and then surprise attacking. I also enjoyed all the hair tossing going on, even when the Joker was mocking Maryse. The hair tossing is money.

I'm pretty annoyed that because he wrestled Shelton Benjamin this week, I was forced to watch an R-Truth match. The finish of the match made me furious with rage. Notice during R-Truth's stupid rap the audio track raps "What's up!" back to R-Truth louder than the audience. Weak. The look on Shelton's face while R-Truth did his lame dancing routine was the same look I had on my face.

Gregory Helms is finally coming back after 17 years on the DL, but seriously, they're calling him Hurricane Helms? Seriously? Hurricane Ike wrecked Texas not a week ago and WWE picked this week to announce they're bringing back a guy called Hurricane? Brilliant.

Weird watching Jeff Hardy's match knowing that a few hours after this was taped he got so inebriated partying after the show he was escorted off his airplane flight home. But whatever, considering the doomsaying going on (druuuuuugs!) the last two days, it turned out to be pretty harmless non-news. Considering Vladimir Kozlov has been riding Hardy's ass for a couple of weeks now, maybe Jeff got drunk because he was training to take on Kozlov in a vodka drinking contest.

Primo is finally starting to show some personality. Carlito: "Hey! Don't steal my lines!" God, Hawkins and Ryder are terrible, just terrible. They come off like indy wrestlers working in front of 24 fans in a VFW Hall. There's a reason why I fast forward through those two ham and eggers' matches. And then Biscuits and Gravy showed up. I couldn't fast forward fast enough.

I like that Victoria and Natalya are just starting to figure out that something funny's going on with Brie Bella crawling under the ring. It's only been three weeks. Nothing gets by those two. Which one's Sherlock and which one's Watson?

Great to see MVP work Triple H's arm (like an Anderson!). Hammerlocks, armbars, keylocks, top wristlocks, I love it all. Triple H sold his left arm pretty well. Tazz and JR were having a good time calling the wrestling maneuvers too. It's just remarkable how Triple H, who is a Caucasian of French descent, was a much darker shade of orange than MVP, who is of African American descent. Compared to Triple H's healthy orange glow, Kozlov in his white trunks looked like Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Big Bad
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Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.56
    Originally posted by mikebuk
    Yep Jeff's memory is suffering or maybe they want us to think he can't possibly have been here so long. His WWF debut was in 1994 vs Razor Ramon as a 16-year old.


He did spend a couple of those years in TNA or....er....indisposed. Besides, saying 'ten years' is a nice, round number. It's the same reason Undertaker kept talking about a decade of destruction for about three years.



How is it that I am a good actor? What I do is I... pretend to be the person Im portraying. Youre confused. Case in point: in Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson comes to me and says I would like you to be Gandalf the Wizard, and I said You are aware that I am not really a wizard? and Peter Jackson said I would like you to use your acting skills to portray a wizard for the duration of the show. So I said Okay and then I said to myself Mmm.. How do I do that? And this is what I did: I imagined that I was a wizard, and then I pretended, and acted, in that way on the stage. How did I know what to say? The words were written down for me in a script. How did I know where to stand? People told me where to stand." -- Sir Ian McKellen, Extras
CruelAngel777
Frankfurter








Since: 7.4.02

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.36
    Originally posted by John Orquiola

    It's just remarkable how Triple H, who is a Caucasian of French descent, was a much darker shade of orange than MVP, who is of African American descent. Compared to Triple H's healthy orange glow, Kozlov in his white trunks looked like Casper the Friendly Ghost.


I've just now noticed how......brownish Triple H is now compared to how I remember him years ago. Kozlov really makes me happy. Randomly kicking in people's chest after speaking in that thick accent, the permanent scowl that looks chisled on his face, his funky ruskie rave music. Kozlov is like a ray of sunshine on a otherwise gonzo show.

R-Truth/K-Kwik/Ron Killings is still doing a overextended live rap entrance. Shelton still gets no respect.

Jeff Hardy really likes to put extra emphasis on his words, "They say I'm crazy, they say I'm EXTREEEEEEEEEMMME!" I also found it quite ironic that after Hardy wins he begins to mock The Brian Kendricks dancing. Seriously Jeff?

Good move keeping Carlito and Primo together. They both play off of each other really well. That would make sense seeing as they are brothers. Not quite as shown by exhibit A: Zack and not Zack. I hate twin tag teams by the way. Can never tell them apart. Speaking of....

How long can the Bella Twins last in the WWE with the twin switch-out gimmick? It's not like there is a Diva tag division, though that would of been a good idea instead of a second Diva singles title. I see it getting old quick, especially on Smackdown where it seems none of the fans care about women's matches. I did like Victoria's comment about her going under the ring.

"You're dating Hornswoggle! She's into little people!"

Line of the week.

(edited by CruelAngel777 on 20.9.08 0023)

(edited by CruelAngel777 on 20.9.08 0024)

(edited by CruelAngel777 on 20.9.08 0025)
mikebuk
Pickled pork








Since: 22.11.03
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.17
Thank you CRZ, old bean. Too subtle for we Brits probably !I was aware Smackdown was moving networks though, but I'd failed to see the link !

Well I won the occasional quiz, I never claimed I was the ultimate egghead !

(edited by mikebuk on 20.9.08 1341)


Mike Brailsford - Quiz champion & Web Ring Master
DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.99
Read it and weep, fella


    Originally posted by Psycho Penguin
    Here comes Kozlov. Tazz sums it up best, "what the?" Seriously, just what the hell is going on? Kozlov beats up HHH and leaves him laying.
Anyone else catch HHH's audibles (mouthing "SLOW", "SLOW", "WAIT") while Kozlov was on his way to the ring?



CLICK OR DIE
Oliver
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Since: 20.6.02
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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.42
I am stoked about a Helms return, preferably as a face. I'll take him in any incarnation of his character (boyband singer, superhero, shootfighter-esque look) just as long as HE'S BACK. His Shining Wizard is one of the best in the business.

Any idea where I can see the video announcing his return? WWE's site isn't showing anything.

Kozlov vs. HHH should be interesting. HHH can get a good match out of almost anyone. Wonder how it'll play out, especially with Hardy being laid out last week by Kozlov...?

They should come up with a better name than the SHITTY one they have for the Colons. Get it? Ha!




You wouldn't like Ozu Makito when he's mad!
Psycho Penguin
Liverwurst








Since: 24.6.07
From: Greenacres FL

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.91
He showed up in a thought bubble at the end of Shelton/R-Tarded and when Zack and Not Zack came out.



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JustinShapiro
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Since: 12.12.01
From: Pittsburgh, PA

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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.14
WHAT'S UP

WHAT'S UP

I think the Hardys started as contracted jobbers in 1998 and started a push on Raw in summer '99. Jeff did say "ten years off and on" or something like that. He spent three in TNA, but it has been give or take ten years since Jeff started in the WWF.

Michelle vs. Maryse was shocking lee good. MARYSE RULES YA HEARD. Michelle will never be allowed to keep that finisher though.

Haha "Curt'n'Jerk." Floating Helms Head should have replaced Foley as color commentator.

More adorable: Victoria and Natalya calling each other BFF, or Primo as Carlito's li'l bro? I hope the Colons go on double dates with the Bellas.
Psycho Penguin
Liverwurst








Since: 24.6.07
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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.91
The Hardys were around way before 1998, they even show up on the Mr. Perfect DVD and Perfect cracks a joke about them while doing commentary.

Jeffrey's best non-painting moment for me was him being one of the guys carrying King Mabel to the ring.



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KJames199
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Since: 10.12.01
From: #yqr

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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.51
    Originally posted by Psycho Penguin
    The Hardys were around way before 1998
But not under contract.



JK: LJ, S&H, KMA, FB
AlbySure
Boerewors








Since: 10.12.01
From: LA

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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.83
    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    He spent three in TNA, but it has been give or take ten years since Jeff started in the WWF.


True TNAddicts know that Jeff Hardy only spent two years in TNA, and wasn't on TV for the last six months of it.
blackdragon
Bauerwurst








Since: 8.12.06
From: Georgia

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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.99
    Originally posted by Oliver

    Kozlov vs. HHH should be interesting. HHH can get a good match out of almost anyone. Wonder how it'll play out, especially with Hardy being laid out last week by Kozlov...?



I've been digging Koslov for a couple of months now. Something about him just booting the shit out of people makes me smile. If the dark match they had when SmackDown was here in Atlanta is any indication, Koslov vs. HHH should be a fun feud. Koslov is a beast and seeing him give HHH no less than four overhead suplexes with ease had me marking out.



Cena can't be beat because he's some unholy genetic recombinate of superstars past. I mean, you might as well call him John "Realest of the Real, Sargent Rock - Cold - A - Mania" Cena.
AlbySure
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Since: 10.12.01
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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.82
On April Fool's Day, R-Truth should come out and do "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes.
Psycho Penguin
Liverwurst








Since: 24.6.07
From: Greenacres FL

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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.91
I think the name of the song is 'What's Going On', unless they did another awfully awesome song I haven't heard. That'd be a great thing to see nevertheless.

Please ignore my stupidity if I am incorrect.



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Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong








Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.02
The song in question is indeed titled "What's Up". The main line of the chorus is "what's going on", but they didn't title it that, presumably so it wouldn't be confused with the Marvin Gaye classic of the same name.
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