Caught this late, due to Raiders pre-season football, but here's this week's SmackDown!
-Vince McMahon starts the show off on a high note. He's narrowed down his search, noting that his bastard's a male, thus eliminating about five percent of the roster. Kane comes out and talks about his daddy issues. His daddy wouldn't watch him light his fire or kill his first squirrel. Really, considering how convoluted his family history has been over the years, I'll just throw up my hands and take his word for it. The point of this is that he wants Finlay. Vince gives him Finlay at Summerslam, which actually should be pretty fun. Chris Masters comes out and wants to be Vince's bastard. He offers to take on Kane in a Masterlock Challenge. Kane just chokeslams him. Ha! For reasons that completely beyond me, this somehow cues Chuck Palumbo (on Undertaker's old motorcycle). This seamlessly segues into... -Chuck Palumbo d. Chris Masters. Palumbo wins rather easily with the Full Throttle (Jeff Jarrett's Stroke). Hopefully, Palumbo gets more of a fair chance now than he did during the InVasion days. -Funaki d. Chavo Guerrero by DQ. Chavo has a Rey Mysterio mask on a mannequin head. He easily dispatches Funaki and puts his leg on the steps. Chavo then smashes it with a chair, in a throwback to the way he put Rey on the shelf. Chavo has absolutely ruled it these past few weeks! I take back everything I said earlier and fully look forward to this match now. -Jamie Noble d. Jimmy Wang Yang. Jung Dragons COLLIDE! Noble checks under the ring before the match starts. Good stuff. Short match ends with Noble going over with a modified GTS. Noble continues searching under the ring, but obviously doesn't look hard enough, as Hornswoggle pops up seconds later. -Teddy Long checks out Kristal in a bikini when MVP comes in to brag about how he could hold all the titles (including the CW title, if he just weighed a little less). Long naturally asks how one guy could hold the tag titles all by himself. He obviously hasn't watched the competition lately. MVP says he'll tag with the next person to come through the door. If your guess was Matt Hardy, a winner is you! Teddy makes it official: Next week it's Deuce & Domino v. Matt Hardy & MVP for the tag titles. Good lord, TNA's already threatening us with Wacky Tag Team Champions That Can't Get Along (assuming Joe goes over next week). Why does WWE have to respond in kind? -Deuce & Domino d. Eugene & Shannon Moore. Nothing notable, except for Eugene attempting to Hulk Up. -Matt Hardy v. MVP in a Basketball Challenge goes to a No Contest. Hardy and MVP actually trade successful baskets before Deuce & Domino run in and attack both guys to offer some buildup to next week's match. Good segment. -Mark Henry d. Some Guy. Squash city. Mark Henry grabs the mic. Druid appears. He's not scared. Lather, rinse, repeat. -Summer Bikini Contest time! The Divas show their stuff. Mae Young comes out and just like that, my interest is gone. -Batista v. Finlay goes to a No Contest. Khali comes in and tries to give Batista the Iron Claw, but it's countered by the Greco-Roman Kick in the Nuts. Batista stands tall at show's end, meaning he's losing this Sunday. Fuck.
Khali and Vince's presence were both kept to a minimum this week, making this a pretty decent show. Chavo and MVP continue to make this show. I always hope that Mae Young's latest appearance will be her last, but let's face it. It never is. Still, a good show worth catching as long as you FFWD through the Mae Young and Mark Henry bits.
I cannot believe they wasted a good ten minutes of television time to pull the old Mae Young gag again. This was really unbelievable considering they are heading into one of their biggest PPVs of the year and this is how they chose to burn a large chunk of their time leading up to the show. This was embarrassing.
Well, they booked a show in South Carolina, so Mae Young is mandatory. (I hope Moolah is well -- you never see Mae without Moolah!)
Hey, Chuck Palumbo bashed Chris Masters around into a watchable squash! And I did enjoy Chuck's delivery on the story of dad, the motorcycle & "not as sorry as mom was." Let's hear it for getting some more experienced talent on the SD roster.
MVP shooting baskets was a lower point for me than bimbos on parade. And that's saying quite a bit.
I can just picture somebody from creative running through what they wanted from Kane's segment. "OK, now, sell the shit out of scaring Vince that he might be the daddy -- pyromania, killing small animals -- go to town. Climax this with the one thing from Vince that'll make it all right: a match with Finlay." Oh, yeah -- perfect sense.
Finley/Batista was fine, 'cept we all knew that it would be pointless, with a Khali interruption. Otherwise, whole lotta filler. Not one thing here that would induce me to buy the PPV.
(Note for completenss: I'm gonna have to buy the PPV for the HHH return, but that's really pretty much the only reason. That's pretty sad.)
STATEMENT FROM MR. MCMAHON Earlier tonight, Paul Heyman - the former General Manager of SmackDown! - was drafted by RAW and subsequently quit. Therefore, due to the absence of a GM on SmackDown!, I have extended the trading deadline to 9 p.m.