The Smackdown report is late tonight! Doesn't that make you miss geemoney even more? Congrats to geemoney for doing this for a very long time!
We start with a recap segment covering various aspects of Raw 1000.
Smackdown came to us from Kansas City, and the show proper opened with The Miz out to crow about his Intercontinental Title triumph on Raw 1000. The Miz is the new face of the Intercontinental Title. Miz said Christian losing was the fault of the fans, because they voted for him to be the champion who'd defend his title on the show. Christian himself had something to say about that. Christian mocked Miz's catchphrase and said he wasn't going to waste any time, he was taking his guaranteed rematch right here and right now. A referee emerged out of nowhere, and it was on!
Christian vs. The Miz, for the Intercontinental Championship: Christian did have a slight limp coming down to the ring, by the way, selling the knee injury that cost him the title before. Booker T was very much against the idea of Christian challenging so quickly, saying he was still hurt. However, for this match Miz picked a different body part, working over Christian's ribs when the opportunity arose. Miz controlled most of the match, with Christian apparently not at 100%. A fight on the top rope led to Miz being shoved off and Christian going for the Frogsplash, but Miz got his knees up and two nearfalls off of that. Christian started fighting back, the late game player that he is, hitting most of his offense but being stymied every time he went for a finisher. A spear was blocked with a kick, and Miz slipped out of two Killswitch attempts. Finally, Christian lost his temper and just started beating on Miz in the corner. As the ref intervened, Miz used the referee's blind spot to thumb Christian in the eye, then got a schoolboy rollup and pulled the tights to get the win and escape with the title. And Booker talked about how smart it was and how if the ref didn't see it it was fair game. Remember when cheating offended the face announcers?
Later tonight, a Fatal Four-Way to determine the #1 Contender for the World Title! Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio! Also, Sheamus will face Cody Rhodes!
Jinder Mahal vs. The Ryback: Mahal's entrance was joined in progress. Mahal hid in the ropes to start, but caught The Ryback unaware to gain an advantage. He landed several moves, getting a one-count off a few, before going for the Camel Clutch. The Ryback had had enough, simply standing up with Mahal on his back and delivering the piggyback stunner. "My turn!" Spinebuster. The Ryback wanted The Meathook, but Mahal ducked under it (sending The Ryback falling on his face from the force of the clothesline) and bailed out of the ring. He'd seen quite enough, taking the countout loss. Remember when the good guys would chase down the villains when they tried to take a countout? "Feed me more!"
A recap of the CM Punk/John Cena match from Raw was next, culminating in Punk attacking The Rock. Booker said that Punk was taking care of business, and Cole threw it to some fan Touts. Oddly enough, all three Touts chosen were supportive of Punk taking out The Rock. Cole said we'd have to wait until Raw to find out Punk's reasoning for attacking The Great One.
Backstage, Daniel Bryan was in his locker room when he was approached by Sheamus. Bryan was immediately hostile, but Sheamus said it was okay, he'd had a bad week. What with AJ becoming General Manager after standing him up at the altar, The Rock hitting him with the Rock Bottom, and Charlie Sheen making fun of him. Bryan said he wasn't done with AJ, that The Rock was gone now for six months, and Charlie Sheen was irrelevant. Sheamus tried to calm him down, saying he'd simply come bringing a wedding gift. Well, the wedding didn't work out, but maybe the gift would still help. He handed Bryan the present and walked away. Bryan opened it up ("This wrapping job is terrible!"), looked at it, and threw it down in disgust before stalking off. The camera panned down to it, revealing a book with a picture of his Wrestlemania match on it and the title "How to last longer than 18 seconds".
Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes: Sheamus had control of the match, tossing Cody around and eventually hitting his clubbing blows from the apron on Cody inside the ring. Sheamus then tried to suplex him to the outside, but Cody landed on the apron beside him and shoved him into the ringpost. Sheamus' shoulder hit it hard and he spilled to the outside, while Cody encouraged the referee to count. Sheamus made it back in at nine, but as Cody resumed his attack, Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero made his way down to the ring, briefcase in hand. Was he going to cash in? Cody continued to work on Sheamus' shoulder, while Ziggler looked on eagerly. Sheamus, well-aware that Ziggler was present, glared at him whenever he got the chance. Cody eventually hit the Disaster Kick, but Sheamus kicked out at two. He went for another, but Sheamus caught him on his shoulders and hit White Noise. From there, the Brogue Kick was academic, and Sheamus picked up the win.
He immediately turned to Ziggler, daring him to cash in his titleshot. Dolph thought about it, getting up on the apron with the briefcase, as the ref asked him if he wanted to do it. But Ziggler shook his head and hopped down, saying he'd do it on his time. And he might indeed cash it in on his time, but Chris Jericho came running down to throw Ziggler into the ring, ensuring that Sheamus could get a piece of him now. A Brogue Kick left Ziggler lying in the ring, as Jericho looked on happily, wearing Dolph's own T-shirt oddly enough. Sheamus gestured Jericho into the ring and said Dolph was all his, and when Ziggler stood up Jericho hit him with a Codebreaker. Cue the Y2J chants! Jericho does the Ziggler sweat-toss taunt! Vickie is upset! Lets go to break!
Antonio Cesaro w/Aksana vs. Santino Marella: Cesaro got no entrance, but did get to make out with Aksana before the match. He outwrestled Santino easily in the early going, then offered a handshake before pointing to Aksana for a distraction and popping Santino in the face. Santino rallied, hitting his usual stuff and going for the Cobra. Aksana popped up onto the apron, but Cesaro was caught with a hiptoss as he tried to attack from behind. Santino went for the Cobra again, but Cesaro ducked and hit his finisher (Okay, help me out, what's this one called?) for the win. Antonio Cesaro has pinned the US Champion! Will he get a title shot soon?
A recap from Raw 1000, with DX and Damien Sandow. Damien Sandow, the newly martyred, would wrestle next!
Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu: No entrance for Tatsu, and no pre-match dialogue for Sandow. Sandow immediately went on the attack, tossing Yoshi to the outside and throwing him into the barricade repeatedly. Back into the ring for the Russian Legsweep and the Kobito Akiat (Elbow of Disdain). Picking Tatsu back up, he laid in some knees, then landed the Illumination for the win. Post-match, he got the mic and enlightened the masses. Yes, he still held it like a brandy snifter. Sandow said that although the repulsive people in the audience had cheerd for ingrate degenerates, he had still martyred himself for their benefit. And we're welcome. Cue the celebratory cartwheel!
Another Raw 1000 recap, this time of Brock Lesnar and Triple H. Really, can't we just assume that everyone watched the show? This was the fourth major recap of it!
Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez, for the #1 Contendership to the World Heavyweight Championship: Everyone paired off to start, with Mysterio vs. Del Rio and Kane vs. Bryan. Mysterio dodged a Del Rio body attack, sending him spilling outside through the ropes Chocolate Mousse style. Simultaneously, Bryan hit a suicide dive on Kane. Rey and Bryan squared off in the ring, but Del Rio interrupted a 619 attempt with a clothesline. Kane was back in to dispose of him. He went for a chokeslam on Bryan, delivering a big boot to Del Rio when he got involved, and catching Rey coming off the ropes to try a double-chokeslam. Both Bryan and Rey floated over behind Kane and kicked him, going for a double suplex, but instead Kane powered them both over in a two man suplex. And it still looks impressive when he does that! All four men continued to battle. Bryan went for his corner dropkick on Del Rio, but it was evaded and he crashed and burned. Del Rio promptly hit his corner enziguiri on Bryan, then locked in the cross armbreaker. Bryan struggled to hold on, and Rey Mysterio broke up the hold by dropping the dime off the top. Del Rio kicked out at two! Rey was tossed from the ring, and Del Rio came back at Bryan, only to immediately get countered into the YES!lock, and a painful looking one at that. Del Rio was nearly twisted into a pretzel. Kane crawled back into the ring and grabbed Del Rio's free hand before he could tap out, holding it off the mat as he punched Bryan to break the submission. Bryan would have none of that, dumping Kane over the top rope and then landing his running knee off the apron, sending Kane spilling into the crowd. In the ring, it was Mysterio and Del Rio, and Mysterio dumped Del Rio against the ropes, calling for the 619. Bryan tried to interrupt the call with the YES!lock, but Mysterio was dialing collect and pushed Bryan into the ropes as well, upgrading his plan to a 1238. He went to the top rope and hit his splash on Bryan, but Ricardo Rodriguez pulled Mysterio out of the ring. This let Del Rio crawl over and make the cover on Bryan for the win. Alberto Del Rio is the #1 Contender! Again! And we're done for the night.
This was an awesome wrestling show with three long, good matches. Del Rio is probably the last guy of the four I wanted to see as #1 contender though, even less than Kane. Not sure who Rey's going to work at SummerSlam now. Maybe Charlie Sheen will manage him against Bryan as 1 and 1/2 men.
You fucking have to sing to Oh, Sherrie. It's a mystical incantation to the music gods. It's part of the holy singalong trinity with Pour Some Sugar On Me and the first third of the Grease soundtrack (everything up to Greased Lightning).