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The W - Pro Wrestling - SmackDown #664 5-11-12
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It's False
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Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 7 days
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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.55
Wow...after that great Extreme Rules PPV, this company wasted no time in completely flushing any and all goodwill down the toilet. Surely this show can't be any worse than last Monday's Raw, can it?

Can it?

TONIGHT! The World Heavyweight title match is now a Fatal 4-Way match, so expect to see more buildup for that match! Plus...um...does this show have any other matches for the PPV? Any at all? Uhhh...yeah...SmackDown...is...whatever...

WWE - The Champ Is Here!

Here's a video package showing the World Heavyweight Championship match turning into a Fatal 4-Way.

No opening credits, as we immediately go to our first match!

SHEAMUS & "THE APEX PREDATOR" RANDY ORTON v. CHRIS JERICHO & ALBERTO DEL RIO
Del Rio comes to the ring from the ramp this time around. Cole says it's because Del Rio didn't want to dirty any of his cars by bringing them to Roanoke.

Jericho pounds on Orton to start, but Orton quickly turns the tables on him. Orton gives Sheamus a not-so-friendly tag. Sheamus elbows Jericho down before giving Orton the hard tag. Jericho's able to tag out before Del Rio runs into an armdrag. Orton misses a kneedrop and eats a single-arm DDT and fútbol kick. Time to hit the armbar! Orton's able to tag out and Sheamus makes the babyface comeback at a whole two minutes in. Rolling fireman's carry gets 2. Sheamus tries to run the ropes, but Jericho lowbridges him. Sheamus rolls back in and eats a fútbol kick before Del Rio tags out. Jericho comes in and hits the armbar. Orton gets the hot tag and Orton hits his usual offense. Hanging DDT hits! VIPER COIL! Rko is countered, but Orton's able to hit a standing dropkick before Del Rio breaks up the pin attempt. Pier 4 breaks out and...the ref immediately calls for a DQ. By golly, that's lame! Kinda REALLY lame!

WINNER: No Contest - Well, there's five minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Post-match, all four guys are still going at it. The referee brigade try to break it up. Orton and Del Rio take their fight to the outside, while Sheamus disposes of Jericho. Hit...nobody's music! Let's just go straight to our first...

Ad break

Let's take a look at the lame-ass DQ we just witnessed. Matthews calls the match "raucus" because he's a giant tool. Your hosts are the three morons. Cole reads off a tweet that Eve Torres sent out during the break. I don't know what's making my head hurt more, the fact that they're reading a live Tweet on the air or the fact that this Tweet was supposedly sent out during a TAPED SHOW! So yeah, the result of that idiotic plot point is that we're getting Orton/Del Rio and Sheamus/Jericho tonight! Yup, the four title match participants are working twice tonight, because God knows the roster is just SO thin right now!

AJ v. KAITLYN
We take look at what happened last week when AJ just slapped the total piss out of Kaitlyn.

AJ comes at Kaitlyn with the THESZ PRESS, BY GAWD! This quickly devolves into a catfight. AJ comes at Kaitlyn with a pair of running knees and...yeah...

WINNER: AJ - Blink and you'll miss it. WHAT A PAYOFF!!!

Post-match, AJ continues the beatdown, but suddenly DANIEL BRYAN decides to come out to his music. This week, we get eight YES's! Bryan grabs the mic and it's promo time!

Bryan: AJ...I mean, WOW! Color me impressed. I mean, what...what passion! What gusto! I had no idea you could be so...ruthless. And with your best friend, nonetheless. I mean, if you wanted to send me a message, trust me, I got it. And I am seeing you in an entirely new light. AJ...there has been so much angst and tension between us since Wrestlemania, I'm ready to move past it all. In fact, at Over The Limit, after I become the NEW WWE Champion...I...I'm really looking forward to moving on............that is...I'm looking forward to moving on to Kaitlyn.

Bryan openly laughs at AJ mockingly. AJ gets a CRAZED look on her face, but decides to storm off. Bryan continues laughing at AJ and decides to lead a YES! parade! Bryan's in action next against The Big Show!

Ad break

DANIEL BRYAN v. THE BIG SHOW
Show works over Bryan with the usual Big Show offense. Bryan comes back with a knee off the second rope, but eats a chop. Show hits the corner buttsplash, but Bryan hits a low dropkick to counter the shoulderblock. Bryan stomps away at the leg and grabs the YES Lock and here's SUPER DAVE LAURINAITIS to RING THE BELL, RING THE FUCKING BELL at about a minute!

WINNER: Daniel Bryan - Hey, the Montreal finish! Never seen that before! How about you go fuck yourselves, The E!

Post-match, Laurinaitis enters the ring and...you know what? No. I'm not dignifying this. This is so colosally stupid. So Show can completely neuter guys like Cody Rhodes, but cowers at the might of Big Johnny? No. I'm sorry. That's just stupid. Not to mention that idiotic logic of "No one will hire a guy your size" line when we've seen Big Show do well as a television personality. And do I even need to mention that this now brings Big Johnny's feud count to FOUR? Big Johnny's now feuding with Cena, Punk, Sheamus, and Show. Even Vince knew better than to stretch himself that thin! Let's just move on!

Ad break

Here's a look at John Cena on Dream Machines. An encore of his episode is next!

Hey, it's HEATH SLATER! He hasn't been on this show in months, so he must be here to job! He doesn't get an entrance, but he DOES have the mic!

"Let me tell you about my opponent. Physically, he might look like the epitome of evolution. But to me, he looks like a caveman with a little pea brain. I mean...I mean, really, people. When you stand beside of him, you can actually see hear it rattle. And I mean, really, though. Who has he beaten? He hasn't beaten anybody and he certainly hasn't beaten anybody of the calibur of myself. And who am I? I'm the One Man Southern Rock Band, baby, Heath Slater! WOO! So let's bring him out and see what he's got!"

Wow, that's one hideous promo. Let's get this squash over with.

HEATH SLATER v. RYBACK
Ryback now gets EXTREME CLOSE-UPS to go with his entrance. The problem with this, though, is that now you can't see Ryback's new pyro. D'oh!

Ryback shoves Slater on his ass, but Slater pops up and tries to hammer away quickly. Slater eats shit on a neckbreaker attempt and Ryback rams him in the corner. Big powerslam hits! Here's the KNOCK THE PISS OUT OF YOU Lariat! Running musclebuster finishes in about a minute.

WINNER: Ryback - Did anyone have Skip Sheffield squashing the hell out of Heath Slater two years after they were both on NXT together?

Later tonight, Sheamus faces Chris Jericho.

Ad break

So by order of John Laurinaitis, LILIAN GARCIA passes the mic to guest ring announcer Teddy Long. Long brings out a cue card for Antonio Cesaro's introduction.

ALEX RILEY v. "THE SWISS SENSATION, THE RUGBY BALLER, SHOT CALLER, HIS OPPONENT'S FRIGHT AND AKSANA'S DELIGHT, BEATING EVERY BUM IN THE SCRUM, AND EVERY CLOWN ON SMACKDOWN" ANTONIO CESARO (w/AKSANA)
Now that's a hell of an introduction for Cesaro!

You know what's really sad? Despite nearly a year of being buried mercilessly, Riley STILL gets a big pop when introduced! But guess what? Alex Riley gets no entrance, because he's cannon fodder, of course! Cradle pancake, goodbye in a two-minute special.

WINNER: Antonio Cesaro - SQUASH! Cesaro looks awesome and he's going to be a lot of fun to watch. I'm sure Alex Riley is really, really sorry for running over Vince's dog or whatever the hell he did to deserve this treatment.

Post-match, Aksana dumps Teddy Long to his face and tells him that Cesaro's her lover. Then they make out inches in front of him. Cold-blooded! Check out Michael Cole laughing like a braying jackass in the background like this is the FUNNIEST THING HE'S EVER SEEN! I'm begging this clown to watch a Bobby Heenan tape and learn some goddamn subtlety.

Here's a video package on the Make A Wish foundation.

Randy Orton and Alberto Del Rio are walking backstage towards the ring. Their match is next!

Ad break

RANDY ORTON v. ALBERTO DEL RIO
In an interesting twist, NEITHER GUY gets an entrance! Are they running short on time or something?

Both men measure each other and grapple in the corner. Orton pounds on ADR in the corner. Del Rio misses a corner charge and Orton stomps away. Orton hits a catapult guillotine for 2. Del Rio comes back by hanging Orton's arm on the ropes and hitting a fútbol kick for 2. Ricardo hangs Orton's arm behind the ref's back. Time to hit the armbar! Orton starts to make the babyface comeback. Hanging DDT is countered with a backdrop and enziguiri for 2! Del Rio rushes in and runs into Orton's backbreaker for 2. Del Rio pops up and hits an armbreaker. Swinging jujigatame is contered with a shove into the corner and the Hanging DDT hits! VIPER COIL! Ricardo suddenly jumps from the top-rope and jumps right into an RKO! But that's enough for ANOTHER lame DQ!

WINNER BY DQ: Randy Orton - That's another five minutes I'm not getting back.

Post-match, Del Rio grabs the jujigatame. Orton grabs the ropes, as if that'll help. The referee brigade break it up.

Later tonight, Sheamus faces Chris Jericho. With my luck, this will end in a lame DQ, too!

Ad break - Wrestlemania Blu-Ray promo

R-TRUTH (w/KOFI KINGSTON) v. "THE ALL-AMERICAN AMERICAN" JACK SWAGGER (w/VICKIE GUERRERO & DOLPH ZIGGLER)
Hey, it's a CRZ special! Normally, when half of the tag champs face half of an opposing team on Raw, CRZ is the first one to point out that we're probably getting the other halves wrestling on SmackDown. We see that Air Truth will be defending the tag titles against The Vickie Family at Over The Limit.

Swagger muscles Truth into the corner. Swagger misses a corner charge and Truth hits an armdrag. Here's a dancing legdrop for 1! Wrestling moves are always more devastating after you dance, you know! We look backstage at the AW contingent, All World Enterprises, looking on. So I guess Mason Ryan's a heel, because...sure, why not? Swagger hits the armbar. Truth hits a DDT. Swagger's corner charge misses and Truth makes the babyface comeback. Truth ducks a Swagger clothesline and Truth hits the Lie Detector, but Dolph breaks up the pin. Kofi takes out Dolph with a jumping clothesline, while Swagger takes out Truth. Truth catches Swagger coming in, which allows Kofi to hit Trouble In Paradise! The What's Up will finish for Truth!

WINNER: R-Truth - Meh.

Your hosts are the three dopes. They recap the Cena/Big Johnny feud.

SANTINO MARELLA makes his entrance for our next match. He teams with Zack Ryder, next!

Ad break

SANTINO MARELLA & "LONG ISLAND ICED Z" ZACK RYDER v. DARREN YOUNG & TITUS O'NEIL
We get a Wrestling Challenge insert promo with Santino and Ryder. Gee, Ryder seems awfully happy to call Santino the U.S. Champion, which is funny considering he never did get his mandated rematch. They argue over their team name, as Santino wants MaRyder, while Ryder wants CoBro. I am immensely saddened that these guys are about to be fed to the NXT contingent.

Santino measures O'Neil (literally) and grabs a side headlock to start. O'Neil puts down Santio with a shoulderblock. O'Neil hits a bodyslam and tags out. Santino tries to come back and falls to a neckbreaker. Young hits a back suplex and tags out. The heels hit a double-team suplex/splash, which is the best of their double-team moves so far. Young hits the chinlock a whole 30 seconds in. Ugh. Santino breaks it with a jawbreaker and makes the hot tag. Ryder is a house of fire and hits Young with the Broski Boot! O'Neil grabs Ryder running the ropes, which allows Young to hit a clothesline. Santino tries to chase O'Neil with THE COBRA~!, but also falls to the mighty clotheslining prowess of Darren Young! Ryder hits O'Neil with a dropkick and brings Young back in. Young crotches Ryder off corner punches. A WEAK-looking Demolition Decapitation finish for the NXT chumps in a 2 minutes special.

WINNER: Darren Young & Titus O'Neil - At the risk of sounding prejudiced, I just don't see the appeal of these two.

Post-match, the NXT guys try and win me over with a promo. O'Neil demands Lilian Garcia re-announce their victory. "Next time, put a little bit mo' stank on it!" HA! Ok, that was funny! O'Neil barks like a dog. The difference between the NXT guys and the other tag teams? "Millions of dollars!" Then they dance! Alright, I'm willing to look past my prejudices and say that these promos are so laughably bad that they come all the way back around to being awesome. And at some point, O'Neil's gone from "Make it a win!" to upping his charisma level significantly.

Backstage, the demoted Matt Striker talks to Damien Sandow. Striker asks about Sandow not competing last week. Sandow derides Striker's past as an educator and promises to be a bright beam of enlightenment that will serve as an avenging sword of taste and decency! We're welcome!

Later tonight, Sheamus faces Chris Jericho in our main event.

Ad break

"THE FUNKASAURUS" BRODUS CLAY (w/THE FUNKADACTYLS) v. HUNICO (w/CAMACHO)
Sigh...if Hunico got squashed like a bug against Brodus three weeks ago, what makes you think he's going to fare any better this time?

WINNER: Brodus Clay - I am officially sick of Brodus. This act is PLAYED!

Later tonight, Sheamus faces Chris Jericho. And coming up next, we recap Brock Lesnar/Triple H...again.

Ad break

Your hosts are the three croutons. They recap Brock/Triple H. This Monday, Triple H returns!

CHRIS JERICHO v. SHEAMUS: NON-TITLE MATCH
We take a look at what happened earlier tonight when the opening tag match went to hell.

Sheamus pounds away on Jericho to start, but Jericho quickly comes back. Sheamus charges in and eats boot. Jericho's own corner charge misses and Sheamus hits the ten-count chest strikes...with very little fan participation. This crowd is GONE! Sheamus sends Jericho flying to the outside to take us to our final ad break of the night.

We come back with Sheamus hitting the slingshot shoulderblock (with the BAD SHOULDER!) for 2. Jericho counters a backdrop and elbows Sheamus to the apron. Jericho hangs the arm and hits the springboard dropkick. Jericho sends Sheamus' bad shoulder into the steel post. Jericho grabs the armbar. Sheamus tries to come back and eats a dropkick for his troubles. Lionsault misses, but Jericho lands on his feet. He still can't escape Sheamus' comeback. Jericho tries for the Walls of Jericho, but gets tossed off. Jericho runs in and is able to counter the running fireman's carry into the Walls, but it's the crab version, so Sheamus reaches the ropes. Jericho charges in and gets backdropped over the top rope. Suddenly, ALBERTO DEL RIO rushes down and chucks Jericho into the steel steps for YET ANOTHER lame DQ!

WINNER BY DQ: Chris Jericho - There's another nine minutes I'm not getting back. What the hell was the point of even making these guys work twice if we were going to get the same bullshit DQ endings again? Why even bother?

Post-match, Del Rio clamps the jujigatame on Sheamus! Here's RANDY ORTON to get a piece of ADR! Sheamus tosses Orton off and starts pounding on Del Rio! Now Orton and Sheamus get in each other's faces! Jericho jumps into the ring and wipes out ADR with the Codebreaker before opting to take his leave. Orton wants the last word, so he hits ADR with the RKO! But Sheamus is insistant on the last word, so he kills ADR dead with the Brogue Kick.

And so our show ends with the Orton/Sheamus staredown. Closing credits and we're out!

FINAL THOUGHT

It's an utterly forgettable SmackDown. Two hours of bad finishes and squash matches. Just awful.

This show needs more Daniel Bryan. Until next week!

(edited by It's False on 12.5.12 0018)



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Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 2 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.53
Titus and Young are still stiffs in the ring but man, where did these entertaining personalities come from? This has all the hallmarks of guys finally being given a bit of room to use their own ideas rather than relying on Creative.



"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
jerichofan717
Chipolata








Since: 21.12.10
From: Albany, NY

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 hour
#3 Posted on
Cesaro is going to be a big star, they just have to change his awful entrance music. I also LOVED when he pretended to kick the dirt off of his boots onto Alex Riley.
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 114 days
Last activity: 114 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.15
Does Kaitlyn get a say in Daniel Bryan moving on to her? Daniel doesn't care either way. AJ is slowly turning into Harley Quinn.



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Spiraling_Shape
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 4 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.40
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
    Does Kaitlyn get a say in Daniel Bryan moving on to her? Daniel doesn't care either way. AJ is slowly turning into Harley Quinn.


Yeah, when I read the spoilers, I thought Kaitlyn was turning on AJ and siding with D-Bry, but she was nowhere to be seen after the loss. So maybe Bryan just meant "Hey I'm gonna make out with your best friend when I'm champ again, because I can!"? It was the second-most unclear storytelling of the past two nights, after the confusing "reveal" of Robert California's "real name??"...

And I think a certain ex-WCW/TNA member might take issue with someone else being Harley...




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Hokienautic
Liverwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Blacksburg VA

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 50 min.
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.70
Only thing I can think of with all the DQs is that they're leading to the Fatal Fourway being a No DQ match. We shall see.
Chumpstain
Boudin rouge








Since: 21.1.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 28 min.
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
Triple Threats and Fatal Four-Ways tend to be no-DQ by default, because when one person gets DQed, who technically wins the match?

They're trying to make it look like the situation is volatile, that the four wrestlers can't control themselves in normal matches and you'll have to pay the money to see them go at it in a match that will be conclusive due to the rules. I just don't know if that kind of sell can work, at least in a quickly-built situation like this. If they've been feuding for months to build up bad blood, that's one thing, but Jericho just got introduced last week!
CruelAngel777
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Since: 7.4.02

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.73
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
    Does Kaitlyn get a say in Daniel Bryan moving on to her? Daniel doesn't care either way. AJ is slowly turning into Harley Quinn.


I wonder If D-Bry was serious about moving on to Kaitlyn or is he playing a mind game to send AJ further over the edge? If he keeps stringing her along like that he could break her psychologically and make her Harley Quinn or actually make a move on Kaitlyn, who is dating Bryan's old rookie Derrick Bateman on NXT.

We may be on the verge of a massive love quadrangle in the WWE.
DrewDewce
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Derby City

Since last post: 16 days
Last activity: 20 hours
Y!:
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.84
Me and the kiddos quite enjoyed this show, but we don't have to transcribe every detail of it, which is a definite advantage it sounds like.

I will also say that the "Millions of Dollars Dance" has been added to our goofy family repertoire. Glad to see that they're at least trying to build up some tag teams, wacky thrown together teams like CoBro aside.



"You are going to get a certain amount of snarkiness on the Internet no matter what, and my rule is that you don't post anything that you wouldn't say to someone's face."
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dMp
Banger








Since: 4.1.02
From: The Hague, Netherlands (Europe)

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 40 min.
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.88
    Originally posted by CruelAngel777


    I wonder If D-Bry was serious about moving on to Kaitlyn or is he playing a mind game to send AJ further over the edge? If he keeps stringing her along like that he could break her psychologically and make her Harley Quinn or actually make a move on Kaitlyn, who is dating Bryan's old rookie Derrick Bateman on NXT.

    We may be on the verge of a massive love quadrangle in the WWE.


AJ's facial expressions were awesome.
That little glimmer of desperate hope when he said he saw a new side of her and might want to give it a shot...
And then the insanity spreading over her face when he made clear he wasn't talking about her. Just awesome.

I felt it was pretty much a throw-away show. Nothing of real interest happened.
I like how they keep Bryan on SD to help advance AJ's storyline while hopefully keeping him on Raw to feud for the title.

The silly dancing and schtick of Young and O'Neill proved that wrestling is only partially about in-ring action.
Their dance was great. The wrestling not so much. As it's False pointed out that decapitation was horrible. But at least it was better than the doomsday device from a few weeks ago?






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JustinShapiro
Scrapple
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Since: 12.12.01
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 6 hours
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.73
    Originally posted by dMp
      Originally posted by CruelAngel777


      I wonder If D-Bry was serious about moving on to Kaitlyn or is he playing a mind game to send AJ further over the edge? If he keeps stringing her along like that he could break her psychologically and make her Harley Quinn or actually make a move on Kaitlyn, who is dating Bryan's old rookie Derrick Bateman on NXT.

      We may be on the verge of a massive love quadrangle in the WWE.


    AJ's facial expressions were awesome.
    That little glimmer of desperate hope when he said he saw a new side of her and might want to give it a shot...
    And then the insanity spreading over her face when he made clear he wasn't talking about her. Just awesome.


Poor AJ frightens me. I would like to see her help Bryan win the title and become a heel couple and a couple of heels. But AJ's been so direly mistreated for so long that it feels like she's got some comeuppance upcoming. Maybe if Punk is nice to her it can help widen his appeal with women (women Nielsen viewers, not women wrestlers).
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That Jeff Hardy/Rob Terry match was the single worst wrestling match I've seen in a very long time.
Related threads: SmackDown #663 5-4-2012 - SmackDown #662 4-27-12 - SmackDown #661 4-20-12 - More...
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