TONIGHT! It's Edge Appreciation Night! Edge guest stars on tonight's show, as the Canadian tour rolls on! Plus, it's the go-home show for Night of Champions, as we get a final build for Mark Henry/Randy Orton. Oh, and they probably should book an IC title match too, shouldn't they? SmackDown is NOW!
WWE - The Champ is Here!
No opening credits, as we go straight to the ring. We are taped from Toronto, Ontario. Justin Roberts fills in for Tony Chimel and he introduces Edge. Edge gets a huge pop for the hometown Toronto crowd. Tonight, Edge hosts The Cutting Edge with guests Randy Orton and Mark Henry. Edge grabs the mic and it's promo time!
Edge: Damn, I miss that! You know, even if this never happens, even if this is a one-time occurrence, it feels good to stand in a WWE ring again. But I'll do it one better, because it feels...it feels even better to be back in MY hometown, TORONTO! You know, since I...uh...since I was forced to retire, I've done some pretty cool things. I got to shoot a TV show, I've been in all kinds of stuff and it's been fun. But that doesn't mean I don't miss the hell out of this. You know, I, uh, I miss getting in here and having a wrestling match 20 minutes and having competition. I miss...I miss all the friendships I have in the locker room. I miss the fact that...that when I walk in a room, my theme music and pyro doesn't automatically go off. That doesn't happen in the real world and it kinda sucks. But...more than that, and please resist the urge of puking, because it's kinda cheesy, most of all, I miss all of you guys.
Pause for the "Thank you, Edge" chant.
Edge: Now later on tonight, I'm here to host The Cutting Edge...and my guests will be "The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry...and the World Heavyweight Champion...Randy Orton. Now I know...I know both guys really well, so I'm not gonna pull any punches. I'm gonna ask the tough questions, but...but that's later on tonight. Right now...
Interruption comes from Cody Rhodes, of all people. Cody has his own mic.
Cody: Let me give credit where credit is due, I was SURE that you were going to come out here, Edge, to pontificate on your apperance on the Syfy series "Haven", which airs tonight after SmackDown. I mean...what an opportunity for the Ultimate Opportunist...and you didn't take it. All the same, it sounds to me, it sounds to me like you...like you are sucking up to these people. I thought you were above that. Maybe not. Maybe...maybe you're just like all of these blank and hopeless faces that are in need of paper bags over them. Maybe...
Edge: Maybe...maybe you should quit bitching and moaning about injuries and masks over your face, blaming everyone but yourself. Maybe you should do something yourself and quit blaming everybody else. Look in the mirror...even though it's disfigured.
Cody: You know, it sounds...like you're a little bitter. Let's examine that. Why would YOU be bitter? I mean, the last time I saw you were triiiiUMphant at Wrestlemania. You walked out the World Heavyweight Champion, while I wallowed in tragedy at my blemished exterior, but...and there's always a but...I went on to become the Intercontinental Champion, I went ON to dispose of the weak-minded Ted DiBiase and last Monday in the main event of Monday Night Raw, I defeated the World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton, so tell me WHO'S the triumphant NOW? And I guess...I guess that would make you the...the tragedy.
Cody grabs a paper bag. Crowd chants "Spear", as Cody passes Edge a paper bag.
Cody: Now I know you're not gonna take that and I know you're not gonna place it over your head. I want you...I want you to take it home. I want you to place it on your mantle in your home office as a reminder...of what SmackDown has become...the new home of the new FACE of SmackDown, the Intercontinental Champion...Cody Rhodes!
Edge: Thanks for the offer, I...I appreciate it. But if YOU'RE the new face of SmackDown, then I think the show needs a paper bag much more than I do.
Cody: That...that doesn't even make sense.
Edge: You're right, it doesn't make sense. What else doesn't make sense is how someone so charismatic like "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes sired you. And to be perfectly honest, since I think you're going to keep talking, I think I'm gonna leave, because if I don't, I'm...I'm gonna fall asleep...right here.
Edge decides to take a walk. Hit Edge's music! But this segment's not over yet.
Cody: Cut that music! Cut that music! Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm not done with you! I'm the Intercontinental Champion! Hey! HEY! I'm the Intercontinental Champion! You're not better than me! None of you people are better than me! You know what? You know what? I am going to enhance all your lives right now, starting with you! You need a paper bag! You most likely need TWO paper bags! You need a paper bag! You ESPECIALLY need a paper bag!
As Cody walks around ringside, some guy in the front row with a paper bag decks him! The guy removes the paper bag to reveal Ted DiBiase! DiBiase jumps the barricade and ambushes Rhodes! We go into the ring and DiBiase goes to the mounted punches. Dream Street will end Cody's night. DiBiase demands a paper bag. When the bagger refuses, DiBiase decks him, too! Cody uses the advantage to escape. Hit DiBiase's shitty autotune music! He needs a new theme song, STAT! Let's look at the replays.
Backstage, Daniel Bryan and Sin Cara are heading to the ring. Their match is next!
Ad break - Night of the Champions promo
SIN CARA v. DANIEL BRYAN We take a look at the last two weeks of events between Sin Cara and Daniel Bryan.
Bryan attacks right away with a knee strike and the YAAAAAH corner dropkick! Bryan goes to the mounted punches and stomps away, as we hit the mood lighting. SC flips over a corner whip, but gets nailed. Bryan wants the suicide dive, but SC quickly comes back in and nails a seated dropkick. SC nails a fútbol kick and stomps away. Kneebuster hits and SC kicks Bryan's leg out. SC continues focusing on the leg and chucks Bryan over the top rope.
Booker: Hip bone's connected to the leg bone! Cole: ...WHAT?!
For fuck's sake, PLEASE take us to our next ad break!
We come back with SC hitting the leglock. Bryan comes back with rights, but SC goes back to the knee and hits a running kick to the head. Bryan backdrops SC off a corner charge, but gets his head bashed into the turnbuckle. Flying right gets 2. SC tries a figure-four, but Bryan shoves him off. SC fluidly goes to the Asai moonsault, but Bryan gets the legs up. Bryan makes the babyface comeback and goes to the Tajiri kicks. Bryan kicks away in the corner. Bryan sets up for the top-rope rana, but SC slips out and crotches him. Bryan gets puts in the Tree of Woe and SC goes to work. SC kicks away in the corner past the five count for the LAAAAAAAAME DQ at 9 minutes.
WINNER BY DQ: Daniel Bryan - A lot of punchy-kicky stuff here. These two tried for a brawl and brawling doesn't suit them well.
Post-match, SC hits a corner dropkick. Now Sin Cara's music hits! And...oh God, here we go. I'm seeing double here! Four Sin Caras! No, I see just fine. Yes, we have two Doinks! I mean, two Sin Caras! They're both dressed EXACTLY THE SAME! I'm expecting Daniel Bryan to pick up a gun here and talk about how he doesn't know which one's the real Sin Cara. We actually get a Boo-Yay spot here, with both Caras posing to the crowd. The Toronto crowd can actually make out who the face and who the heel is, amazingly! The heel SC bails.
Your hosts are the three doorknobs. They waste about a minute trying to guess who the real Sin Cara is. Matthews shoots it off to a video package highlighting Mark Henry's dominance of Randy Orton.
Later tonight, Randy Orton and Mark Henry are on The Cutting Edge!
Ad break - Inside Out promo
Backstage, Zack Ryder tells Teddy Long that Randy Orton and Mark Henry won't be able to resist tearing each other apart tonight. Teddy Long reinstates the No Touching policy and sends Ryder out to tell them both. Here's Aksana and her cheesy saxaphone music again and I lose interest again. Time to FFW...wait, is that TRISH STRATUS? Trish catches Aksana and Teddy in a compromising position...and...yeah, that's it. Well, that was a waste of Trish.
AJ (w/KAITLYN) v. "THE GLAMAZON" BETH PHOENIX (w/NATALYA) AJ gets no entrance, because she's cannon fodder, of course.
WINNER: Beth Phoenix - SQUASH!
Post-match, Beth grabs the mic.
"This Sunday, Kelly Kelly, the clock's about to strike midnight, because you and all the other Cinderellas in the WWE are about to have a very unhappy ending to your little fairy tale."
Later tonight, The Cutting Edge with the two title match participants.
Ad break - Raw promo with guest star Hugh Jackman. Wow, they're really going all-out against that shitty Giants/Rams game, aren't they?
We are taped from Toronto, Ontario. We take a look at a video package for Sheamus.
Backstage, Trish Stratus straps some gloves on Edge. Christian enters the picture. After giving Trish a quick insult, Christian tells Edge that he's happy to see him. They make up, but then Christian tells Edge that he should ask Teddy Long for one last rematch on his behalf. Christian gets defensive, so Edge tells him he's acting like a bitch. Christian exits the picture. Suddenly, Zack Ryder arrives and asks Edge to tell Orton and Henry about the No Touching policy before running away. HA! Trish asks if that was the Internet Champion. Double HA! Oh, and thanks for showing up, Trish!
Wade Barrett makes his entrance for our next match. I didn't make nearly enough of this last week, so I'll say it again. Barrett's overcoat is ten different kinds of badass! We take a look at what happened last week between Barrett, Sheamus, and Christian. Up next, Barrett teams with Christian to face Sheamus and Justin Gabriel.
WADE BARRETT & CHRISTIAN v. JUSTIN GABRIEL & "THE CELTIC WARRIOR" SHEAMUS Well, here's a match with some international flavor. Not an American to be found! Sheamus has the mic, so I guess he wants to say something.
"What's the crack, lads? Listen...before we get the match started, I'd like to offer you both some pleasantaries, which are very common in me homeland of Ireland. You first, Christian, I'd like to say...uh...well...I'm afraid I can't think of anything nice to say about you, because every time I look at that face, it reminds me of a horse's arse. As for you, Barrett, well...let's be honest, you're about as thick as a bag of cow manure, only half as useful. But in case you're both wondering why I chose Justin Gabriel as me partner tonight...I looked far, I looked wide, I couldn't find the Axe, I couldn't find a Smasher, so instead of Demolition, I got me a 450 Splasher!"
We start with Gabriel and Barrett. Barrett uses his speed to get the early advantage. Barrett tries a hiptoss, but Gabriel lands on his feet and gets a legsweep. Barrett hits a right and a headbutt. He tries to dump Gabriel, but Gabriel lands on the apron. Gabriel springboards over Barrett, but runs into a Boss Man Slam. Booker scores some points by yelling out "BIG BUBBA ROGERS, BABY!" I'm sure he'll lose those points by the end of the night. Christian gets tagged in to a pop from the Canadian crowd. Gabriel turns a vertical suplex into a cradle for 2. Christian hits a clothesline for 2. Tag back to Barrett, who works over Gabriel in the heel corner. Gabriel counters Barrett's vertical suplex with a cradle for 2! Barrett takes Gabriel down and hits the chinlock. Gabriel comes back with kicks, but misses the big kick and gets pancaked for 2. Christian tags back in and chokes away. Christian whips Gabriel into the corner with authority! Christian eggs on Sheamus to send us to our next ad break.
We come back with Barrett continuing to work over Gabriel. Backbreaker gets 2. Barrett goes to the mounted punches. Christian tags in, but misses a corner charge. Gabriel hits the STO. Tags are made on both sides and Sheamus is an Irish shack of fire! Sheamus wants the Irish Missile, but Christian trips him up. Barrett climbs the turnbuckles and gets headbutted down. Irish Missile hits! Christian rushes in and nearly gets the High Cross for his troubles. Barrett tries to take advantage and hits Wasteland, but Sheamus elbows out of it and hits the Brogue Kick! Tag is made to Gabriel, who finishes with the Sternum-Crushing 450 Splash at 10 minutes and change shown.
WINNERS: Sheamus & Justin Gabriel - The heat segment on Gabriel went a little long, but this was a decent tag match. Oh, if you were curious...no, the words "Nexus" and "Corre" were never used when talking about Gabriel and Barrett.
Post-match, Christian tries to attack from behind, but gets caught. Sheamus calls Christian out, but Christian decides to fight another day. Hit Sheamus' music!
Let's shoot it off to another Mark Henry video package. Later tonight, The Cutting Edge!
THE GREAT KHALI v. HEATH SLATER They go back TOO FAR, as they rewind all the way to Khali's original theme, instead of giving him back his fun-loving babyface music. We go back to last week, as we see the end of the Indian faction. You know, if they insist on calling Slater "The One-Man Southern Rock Band", you'd think they could work that name into his intro.
Slater sticks and moves, but then makes the mistake of getting into a boxing match and gets wiped out with a clothesline. Suddenly, Jinder Mahal comes out yelling in Hindi and...yeah, let's just FFWD to the end.
WINNER BY DQ: The Great Khali - Angle advancement, drive-thru.
Post-match, the heels go for the beatdown, but Khali fights them both off. Khali tries to hit Mahal with the tree slam, but Slater jumps in, like an idiot. He gets a JUDO CHOP~! and tree slam for his troubles.
Evan Bourne makes his entrance for his match. He faces R-Truth next!
EVAN "AIR" BOURNE (w/KOFI KINGSTON) v. R-TRUTH (w/THE MIZ) Truth and Miz give us another great rendition of "You Suck!" (The "What's Up?" remix)! And it's one of those things that would be freakin' awesome, if only Michael Cole, the braying jackass, didn't go SO over the top with his fake laughing and high-pitched yelling in trying to tell us how awesome it is. Someone give that idiot a Bobby Heenan DVD and teach him some subtlety.
Miz and Kofi get on commentary (Matthews: This, a one-on-one match with R-Truth and Evan Bourne, we are joined at commentary by The Miz and R-Truth!) and...oh God, Cole is going single-handedly ruin this match. MUTE button, activate! Truth hits Bourne with a boot to the face. Truth hits the chinlock and pounds away. Truth tries for the Falcon Arrow, but Bourne counters and knees Truth in the face for 2. Bourne kicks the crap out of Truth and hits a headscissors. Bourne wants Air Bourne, but knows it's a miss, so he lands on his feet. He gets tripped up anyway and the What's Up finishes in a two-minute special.
WINNER: R-Truth - Criminally short. The opening rap lasted longer than the match.
Time for another Mark Henry video package.
Edge is walking backstage. The Cutting Edge is next!
Ad break - Night of Champions promo
We come back with Edge already in the ring, on the set of The Cutting Edge. Time for our main event interview!
Edge: You know, earlier tonight, Cody Rhodes came out here and said I was pandering, because I said how great it was to step back here in a WWE ring and especially how great it was to be out here in front of all of you. But what old Phantom of the Opera doesn't seem to realize is...how important Toronto has been to me, because I...I sat 11th row ringside at Wrestlemania VI, right here in Toronto and watched The Ultimate Warrior beat Hulk Hogan for his first WWE Championship...where I won my very first championship in the WWE, the Intercontinental Championship. So because of that, I know how important championships are here in the WWE, how they should be revered, how...how important they are. So that's why I'm excited tonight to have the following guests here on The Cutting Edge. First of all, I'd like to introduce the challenger for the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday..."The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry.
Mark Henry makes his entrance, as the announcers mention Henry's 15 years in the company.
Edge: And his opponent, the World Heavyweight Champion..."The Viper" Randy Orton.
Randy Orton makes his entrance.
Edge: Now gentlemen...just wanna remind you that General Manager Teddy Long has instituted a No Contact rule between you two for The Cutting Edge tonight. And I said I wasn't gonna pull any punches out here, I said I was gonna...shoot straight from the heart, so Randy...honestly, I'm thinking that's probably a good thing that there's physical contact between you. I mean, let's face it, Mark Henry has been tearing through everything and everyone here in the WWE. It's true, man. He...he doesn't even look human, man. He's been running through everything. He has done things to you that no human has ever done. So...I guess the question I'm gonna ask you is pretty simple...do you honestly think you can beat him this Sunday?
Randy: First of all, Edge, you are right, Mark Henry has demolished a lot of people, Kane and The Big Show included. He is The World's Strongest Man for a good reason. But now when it comes to me, the only time, Mark, that you put your hands on me, the only time you decide to get physical with me was after I already had a match. So you haven't proven anything to me and maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe you're here to make a statement. Or maybe you know deep down inside the reason why you have never won the big one in the WWE. Maybe, maybe, Mark Henry, you know your very, very absolute best isn't good enough. So the question is, do I think that I honestly could ever beat Mark Henry. No, I don't think I can beat you, Mark Henry. I KNOW I CAN!
Edge: Hey, you know what, Mark, I...I hate to say it...you know what, actually, I don't hate to say it, because what Randy's saying is...is the truth, he's got a point. I mean, let's look at it. Your career has been kinda...it's been disappointing. Hey, I told you I was gonna call it straight down the middle, exactly the way I see it, he brings a good point, let's face it. I started here in the WWE in 1998 and you were already a veteran here. With someone as big and devastating as you, you have never won the WWE Championship, you've never won the World Heavyweight Championship. How is that possible? You should be one of the most decorated champions of all-time with your physical attributes, no question about it. You know, some people...some people might say...it's because of...aaaaah, fluke losses here and there, maybe it's because of injuries at bad times. Or maybe it's just that you don't have the desire. Let's face it, when you want to go to the next level, when you want to hold that World Heavyweight Championship, when you want to stand where Randy Orton is standing, it's a whole new level. And maybe you just aren't good enough to get to that level.
Mark: Edge, let's get this crystal clear. The only reason that I'm gonna let you walk out of this ring on your own power is because...you're right. Fifteen years I've seen men smaller than me become champion. I've seen men weaker than me become champion. I've seen Randy Orton become champion over and over and over again. But see what they tell me is "Mark Henry, go out there and smile! Show that personality!" Randy, let me tell you something. I'm DONE smiling! I'm done showing personality! I'm here to destroy and I'm here to take what you got! Fifteen years, I've come out here and had to show every night what I could do and it didn't work! Fifteen years, it's taken me to get here! And come Sunday...I WILL be the World Heavyweight Champion!
Randy: Well, I got news for you, Mark Henry. Our match this Sunday at Night of Champions will indeed be symbolic of your career. You may look impressive, you might just even come close, but in the end, you'll be the same that you've always been: 400-lb., 15-year, World's Strongest Failure!
That gets under Henry's skin and we get the big staredown. Knowing what's coming, Edge jumps in.
Edge: Oooooooook, ok, this is...this is the part of the show where I remind you that Teddy Long said that during The Cutting Edge, there is no physical contact. Remember that part? That this is also the part of the show where I tell you...that The Cutting Edge is now officially over.
Edge wisely bails and the fight is on between Orton and Henry! Long desperately calls for help! He brings out the dreaded Jobber Brigade to separate Orton and Henry. Henry SINGLE-HANDEDLY THROWS OFF FOUR GUYS and charges at Orton! Now eight guys try to restrain Henry! I see Ryder, Johnny Curtis, Tyson Kidd, Trent Barreta, the Usos, JTG, and Derrick Bateman. Orton dives at Henry, before the jobbers all restrain him. Orton beats off the jobbers and charges forward...right into the World's Strongest Slam! Henry easily dispatches all of the jobbers. He hits Orton with the big fat splash! Henry dumps Johnny Curtis for fun. He military presses Ryder over the top rope. Henry nails Orton with another big fat splash! Barreta tries to fight Henry and goes absolutely nowhere. Henry tosses Barreta back to Jobberville. Bateman eats a headbutt. One of the Usos eats a headbutt. Henry grabs Orton and hits another World's Strongest Slam! Henry picks up the world title and poses over Orton's corpse to end the show.
You know, I pick on the E a lot. Many times, I do it out of fun or frustration. But occasionally, they do manage to hit a home run.
This Orton/Henry feud is that home run. This feud has been BEAUTIFULLY booked from the beginning. And it's all been simple stuff. Mark Henry, the challenger, barrels through the entire roster, one-by-one, until there's nobody left, but the champion. Henry then picks on the champion, making sure to do it after the champ has already wrestled, to leave that degree of doubt, as to whether he could do it in a fair fight. Then the week before the PPV, you finally have the champion and challenger face off in a fair fight...and STILL have the challenger come out on top! THAT is how you sell a PPV match! No cutesy gimmicks, no insider references, no clusterfuckery from outside sources. It's just basic Booking 101. I am all in on Orton/Henry and if they give Henry the title on Sunday, for as iffy a worker as he is, I won't complain one bit. Henry's work in the last few months has been masterful.
Orton/Henry is about 100 times more compelling than Cena/Del Rio, that's for sure.
The show wins on that final segment alone. I've already forgotten about the rest of it, though.
Screw Henry vs Orton being a home run, MARK HENRY is the home run. And dare I say it, he's the MVP of Smackdown right now. Seriously, look back to the feud with the Big Show. The whole "imma rip off this cage door and smash you with it" essentially started him down this path of awesomeness.
The whole "throw off four people at once" thing? Awesome. And because they needed like eight guys to hold him down, that made it so that Orton had a clear shot, which enabled Henry to get retaliation.
They actually made the "World's Strongest Man" into a practical part of the gimmick.
Mark Henry - Smackdown MVP. Who would have guessed that a few months ago?
After a (very) long hiatus, I have begun to write again. And this time, I'm not alone!
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Originally posted by John Orquiola I love Booker T's announcing style. "Ooooooh my goooodnessss!"
(edited by John Orquiola on 17.9.11 0734)
When he was talking about how he knew which one was the real Sin Cara because he had noticed the real one had a little black mark on his boot... Im a fanboy for Booker T's Sin Cara fanboyism.
I think it was already a few months ago that Booker said, "I can tell you right there Sin Cara knows a little bit about the karate game, so you gotta watch him each and every moment you're in the ring."
Originally posted by El NastioScrew Henry vs Orton being a home run, MARK HENRY is the home run. And dare I say it, he's the MVP of Smackdown right now. Seriously, look back to the feud with the Big Show. The whole "imma rip off this cage door and smash you with it" essentially started him down this path of awesomeness.
Mark Henry had me at "If I charge for air, you keep your bill paid!!!".
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Henry/Orton was fantastic. Last half hour of SD made me want not only see that match, which is some achievement, but HHH/Punk too, since their final video package was produced up, WWE style, and focused on the good parts to make their feud seem like it's been good.
Originally posted by It's FalseOh, if you were curious...no, the words "Nexus" and "Corre" were never used when talking about Gabriel and Barrett.
I'm p. sure Cole recapped their whole history from NXT to Nexus to Corre during Gabriel's entrance to his bleep bloop 1980s video game music. Cole said it's why the tactical Sheamus selected him as his partner.
Originally posted by CHAPLOW
Originally posted by John Orquiola I love Booker T's announcing style. "Ooooooh my goooodnessss!"
(edited by John Orquiola on 17.9.11 0734)
When he was talking about how he knew which one was the real Sin Cara because he had noticed the real one had a little black mark on his boot.
SO GREAT. This was during a shot of the announce desk and you can see Booker and Cole both trying not to crack up when he said that. (Booker trying but not succeeding.)
I've bought three shows - but it's a trial to watch them. I think I even fell asleep during the last one. Everything's just soooo tedious and two hours is a long time without commercial breaks and the continuous replays that the WWE has conditioned me to....