TONIGHT! We had a crappy 900th edition of Raw last Monday and, coincidentally, many SmackDown stars were at the center of it. Will we see any follow-up to what happened last Monday? SmackDown is NOW!
WWE - The Champ Is Here
We start with a recap of the last 3 months, catching everyone up on the latest UT/Kane feud to this point.
Opening Credits - Let It Roll! Opening pyro! We are taped from Albany, NY! Tonight, Kane has a major announcement.
We start with Tony Chimel once again introducing us to Ricardo Rodriguez. The entire ring is decked out like a Mexican fiesta with four of Alberto Del Rio's manservants. And here comes Alberto Del Rio in his trusty Rolls Royce, decked out in a snazzy white suit with a white scarf. He soaks in a whole lot of boos as he enters the ring, as Todd Grisham reminds us that ADR laid out Evan Bourne last Monday. He's got the mic and it's promo time!
"My name is Alberto Del Rio! But you...you already know that. Do your remember what I did to my little amigito, to that little chihuahua, Rey Mysterio? If not, it's for you again!" We get a good look at what happened last week, where ADR laid out Rey and put him on the shelf. "Tonight, I'm throwing this celebration, because I removed Rey Mysterio from the WWE. And I proved to everybody that Mysterio is weak, that Mysterio is a pathetic representation of my people, the Mexican people. Because Mysterio, Mysterio's a Chicano and he's ashamed of them. That's the reason he used that horrible mask. In fact, for me Rey Mysterio is just like an animal...it's...it's...it's like...like this burro. Like this, like...this donkey. Rey Mysterio, how are you?" Alberto walks up to a donkey pinata wearing a Rey Mysterio mask. Alberto has one of his helpful manservants pass him a stick. ADR takes one good whack and the pinata bursts open. Candy flies everywhere, of course. "And at the end, Mysterio is nothing than a broken burro. Champana, por favor!" Del Rio has a different manservant hand him a glass of champagne. "Let's make a toast! For ME! For Alberto Del Rio! Because I'm the man, I'm handsome, I'm powerful, I'm RICH! And I'm EVERYTHING!"
Interruption comes from Christian, of all people. Wonder if he's here to ask for his pyro back? Christian strolls into the ring with his own mic. "Sorry to interrupt you, there, but I just wanted to come out and introduce myself, my name is Christian - Captain Charisma. And you are?"
ADR: "My name is..."
Christian: "Ah, ah, ah, ah...I know who you are. You're JBL, right? Yeah, yeah, Juan Bradshaw Layfield! No, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, I do that from time to time. I know who you are, in fact, the entire WWE Universe knows who you are, you're a huge, huge international superstar. Enrique Iglesias! Man, I love your music! What's that, what's that one song you had a couple of years ago? How's that go? ~*I can be your hero, baby! I can take away...*~"
ADR: "Jajajajajaja!" (No, really, he did laugh like that.) "You think you're pretty funny, huh? This clown thinks he's really funny. I'm gonna tell you what you are, you American..." (No, I didn't catch that last word. Apparently, neither did Christian.)
Christian: "I-I'm sorry, I don't really know what..." Christian stops and notices one of ADR's manservants with a tray of h'ordeuvres. "Oh, so that's what these things are. I was wondering this whole time. Do you mind?" Christian tries it out and doesn't look too happy with the taste. He spits it out at the side of the ring. "Look, it's like this, alright? I didn't come here to taste your crappy h'ordeuvres. I didn't come out here to marvel over your expensive cars or your tailor-made suits. I came out here to tell you face-to-face, man-to-man that I don't appreciate what you did to a good friend of mine, Rey Mysterio. And injured an already-injured Rey Mysterio, at that. Now I was standing in the back and I saw you hit this donkey pinata with a stick and let me tell you something, you can hit all the donkey pinatas you want, whatever blows your hair back, but you, my friend, YOU are the only jackass that I see."
ADR: "Hey, who you think you are? Who you think you are? You think you can come out and ruin my fiesta? Ruin my party? Disrespect me? Oh, I see. You want to end up like Rey Mysterio. You want to end up in the hospital crying and crying and..."
Christian: "Whoawhoa, hold on a second, Juan. Are you challenging me to a fight, is that what you're doing? Because you know something, I already have a scheduled match tonight, but...if you want a fight, I have no problem fighting you right here, right now in front of all my peeps in Albany, NY."
ADR: "Todos ustedes, saquence de aqui, pero rapido! Saquence de aqui! Horale! Get out of here" ADR shoos away his manservants. "Are you sure? Are you sure you want to do this?" Alberto throws off his coat and gets in Christian's face. ADR simply grins, though, and thinks better of it, leaving the ring with his coat over his shoulder. "There's gonna be another place and another time, and you...you're gonna pay for this!"
Alberto's music plays, as he exits. He winks at Christian from the ramp. Christian looks on angrily, but gets whacked from behind, out of nowhere, by Drew McIntyre! Drew turns over Alberto's table full of champagne and kicks Christian out of the ring, at the feet of Alberto Del Rio. ADR dumps champagne on Christian and exits up the ramp. The match between Christian and Drew McIntyre is NEXT!
Now at this point, I was called into work and got back home late, so I'm not entirely up for the full recap. Hopefully, the schedule will go back to normal next week, but here's a quick rundown of the rest of the show.
CHRISTIAN d. DREW McINTYRE Christian wins with a jackknife roll-up. Christian's now 3-0 against Drew McIntyre.
MICHELLE McCOOL d. KELLY KELLY Michelle wins clean with the Faith Breaker. This should polish off Kelly Kelly as a challenger and blow off this feud, once and for all.
Backstage segment with Teddy Long, Hornswoggle, a doctor trying to get Hornswoggle to speak English, and electrodes. If you missed it, it's probably for the best.
DOLPH ZIGGLER d. CHRIS MASTERS Dolph wins clean with the Zig Zag. I continue to wonder how Masters is still employed.
THE BIG SHOW d. CM PUNK & LUKE GALLOWS Show applies the Camel Clutch (!) on Gallows for the tapout. Post-match, Punk hits Gallows with the GTS. And THAT should polish off the Straight Edge Society, once and for all. Well...THIS incarnation of it, anyway.
Jack Swagger hosts the VIP Lounge with Jack Swagger Sr., fresh out of the hospital, but still in a wheelchair and a neck brace. Swagger Sr. has Jack do some push-ups to entertain the crowd. MVP comes out with the interruption and claims his show back by going after Jack. Jack shoves his wheelchair-bound father around in an effort to dodge MVP, leading to Jack tossing his father down and trying to jump MVP. MVP dumps Jack and decides to give Swagger Sr. the Ballin' Elbow for no good reason. Crowd cheers this because they LOVE unprovoked attacks on the elderly!
"DASHING" CODY RHODES d. MATT HARDY Pre-match, Cody starts with a generic heel interview, but turned it into an AWESOME verbal beatdown. "Take a look at yourself, what do you see? What do you people see? Do you see the Matt Hardy that revolutionized the TLC match? Do you see the Matt Hardy that grew up wanting to be the Heavyweight champion? Do you even see Matt Hardy, Version 1? No, all I see is Matt Hardy, Version Done!" YEE-OWCH! And Cody proves his point when he beats Matt clean with the Cross Rhodes. While Christian's 3-0 against Drew McIntyre, Cody Rhodes is now 2-0 against Matt Hardy.
Show ends with a Kane promo announcing he'll be facing Undertaker at Night of Champions. Undertaker comes out for rebuttal, but in a continuation of what happened last Monday, Kane's showing that he's got superpowers now! Superpowers that Undertaker USED TO have! Show ends with Kane laughing maniacally.
They've spent the past few months having Christian sell a major arm injury, so it's a no-brainer to pair him up with Alberto Del Rio to REALLY put over his cross arm-breaker as a deadly move without having anyone lose face. This feud should be fun, however brief it may be.
I'm more than convinced that the UT/Kane feud will be going on for a good while. No one should think Night of Champions should settle anything, but I'm sure at this point, no one's going to be shocked when Kane goes over clean as a sheet to really hammer home the fact that UT's in a weakened state and Kane's reached Darkseid-power levels.
From what I saw, the rest of the show was pretty good. See you all next week.
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy."
"Was it you ma'am, that said you have a flat tire? I think I know somebody that has a spare." By far my favorite line that Cody sorry, Dashing Cody Rhodes used this week. The mirror on the jacket was a nice touch. His gimmick really grew on me this week.
I too wonder how Chris Masters still has a job as you hardly ever see the guy wrestle.
ADR has quickly grown on me although he is a Spanish version of JBL. A feud with Christian should be interesting granted if they finish his rivalry with Drew McIntyre.
If the SES wasn't finished on Friday night, they might as well be or will be very soon; the SES had a nice run but I am looking forward to seeing CM Punk back in singles action and can have a good one-on-one feud with a lot of people (but there goes the jobs of Luke Gallows and Joey Mercury).
I think Kane could win and retain at Night of Champions but the WWE has a tendency to do what they want and not what they should in terms of storyline purposes (so in other words, it wouldn't surprise me to see 'Taker win and have Kane in the realm of irrelevancy yet again) but I am hoping that is not the case.
Thanks, CRZ, for saying exactly what I've been thinking since the day after the name change. Do people think that they're being super-powered, high-tech *rebels* when they proclaim their independance from the WW*E*?