TONIGHT! You might have heard that the Undertaker is OUT for the Fatal 4 Way title match. But who takes his place? And how will they explain his absence? Plus, Drew McIntyre exercises his rematch clause. He tries to get his title back from Kofi Kingston. WWE SmackDown is now!
WWE - The World is Watching
We start with Teddy Long backstage formally informing us that Undertaker is out. Kane apparently found UT in a vegetative state over the weekend. An investigation is underway. Vegetative state, huh? That's...original, I guess.
Opening Credits - A shot of CM Punk in his mask is now in the opening credits, which is just awesome.
We start with everybody's favorite wrestling cliche - the funeral! Druids lead out a casket, with chanting piped in over the arena sound system. That leads the way for Kane's pyro and the Big Red Monster comes to the ring. Promo time! And over the red lighting effect, no less. And with a podium! Man, they went all out for this. Kane demands the coffin be opened. We get lightning as the casket's opened to reveal...nothing. Kane says the most feared, dreaded, respected force in the history of WWE will no longer walk amongst us. Kane declares that WWE has lost its most iconic figure, gone forever. UT will rise from the dead no more, sayeth Kane. Kane vows VENGEANCE! "They will be committed to the depths of hell. To a torturous existance that they cannot fathom! I will personally prosecute and persecute ANYONE who had anything to do with this tragedy. THERE WILL BE VENGEANCE! THERE WILL BE VENGEANCE!" Kane angrily knocks over the podium and breaks down. We go to break, with nary a word from the commentators. Probably Kane's most intense promo ever, impressive considering he's been around nearly 15 years. He really knocked it out of the park and kudos to him. I really, REALLY hope they don't piss this away by revealing it was actually him that did it and that this is all one giant swerve.
Ad break. Ad for Monday's 3-hour Viewer's Choice Raw, hosted by the cast of The A-Team.
"THE ALL-AMERICAN AMERICAN" JACK SWAGGER v. MVP: NON-TITLE MATCH Swagger goes for the cheap heat by coming out in an Oklahoma Sooners jersey, to really piss off the Dallas crowd.
Wrestling sequence starts us off, as Swagger wrestles circles around MVP, taking him to the mat quickly. MVP elbows out of a waistlock and we get a face-off, leading to MVP slapping the taste out of Swagger's mouth. Swagger ducks out to get the feeling in his face back. Swagger runs back in and meets a flying forearm, which gets 2 for Porter. MVP goes to the headlock until Swagger backs him to the corner. Swagger goes to the knees and whips MVP to the corner, but MVP leapfrogs over him and smacks Swagger upside the head. Both guys roll around and throw punches until the ref separates them. Running boot to the head knocks Swagger out of the ring, leading to another round of commercials.
We come back with MVP getting a near fall. MVP hits the chinlock, as we see a replay of a nice MVP plancha that happened during the break. MVP hits some rights and lefts, leaving Swagger in the corner. Swagger takes advantage of the ref admonishing MVP, as he tosses him shoulder-first into the ringpost. For fun, he does it again, leaving MVP rolling to the outside. MVP narrowly beats the ten count and rolls back in, so Swagger goes back to work. Armlock focuses on MVP's left arm, as Porter tries to fight back. MVP goes off the ropes, but meets a boot to the face. Swagger pounds away on MVP in the corner and goes back to the armlock. Swagger sends MVP in for a back body drop and meets a boot, as MVP comes back. Swagger tries to send MVP to the corner, where a corner leapfrog meets a powerslam, cutting MVP's comeback short. Swagger hits the running Vaderbomb, which only gets 2. More armlock. MVP punches out of it and shoves Swagger to the corner and puts him down with another running boot to the face. Swagger charges, but meets an elbow. MVP comes back with clotheslines and a facebuster, which looks to set up the Ballin' Elbow. Swagger tries to kip up and hit a clothesline, but MVP knocks him down and hits the Ballin' Elbow. Series of counters leads to an MVP fisherman's suplex, which gets 2. Swagger comes back with a belly-to-belly that gets 2. Swagger tries the running Vaderbomb again, but MVP was playing possum and knocks him down. A third running boot from MVP gets nothing and likes it and Swagger will roll him up for 3.
WINNER: Jack Swagger - A good match between both guys that only got slowed down by Swagger's reliance on the armlock. Liked the finish with Swagger refusing to get caught with that boot a third time.
Postmatch, Kurt Hawkins and Vance Archer run in and beat down MVP for some reason. Striker calls them the Gate Crashers - I've heard worse names for a team randomly slapped together. And if this means Hawkins doesn't get future endeavored like I thought for sure he would, then good for him.
Backstage, Vickie Guerrero tries to comfort Teddy Long by telling him he has to carry on. She subtly tries to suggest Dolph Ziggler get thrown into the main event. Long counters with a battle royale featuring the SD roster. That happens tonight.
NXT recap. Want proof that wrestling ability means ZILCH in this competition? Second place: David Otunga.
Backstage, CM Punk is tighening his mask. Kane barges in and grabs Punk by the throat. Kane demands answers and Punk emphatically denies any role in UT's attack. Punk offers the SES's help, but Kane chucks him aside.
Autozone Rewind - Teddy Long is forced to suspend Matt Hardy last week, by order of Vince McMahon.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: DREW MCINTYRE v. KOFI KINGSTON Drew starts by overpowering Kofi, pounding away all over the place. Drew tries to toss Kofi, but that's countered. Kofi hits the monkey flip and gets the 7-punch count, but McIntyre hits the boot and a back suplex for two. European uppercut puts Kofi down, as we look at Matt Hardy walking through the crowd. Matt has a front row seat. Striker actually asks the logical question of how Matt got a ticket to an event that's been sold out for months? Dude must use StubHub. Anyway, this segues into a commercial break.
We come back with Drew hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He goes to the mounted punches before mouthing off to Matt some more. Drew shows off his amazing repetoire by going to choking. More...slow...offensâ€‹e...from...McIntyre. Nice snap suplex on the floor keeps me from going comatose, but McIntyre goes right back to strikes and restholds. Kofi counters the surfboard with a mule kick, but McIntyre puts him back down soon enough. Quick abdominal stretch leads to more punching. Clothesline and pose. Zzzzzzzzzz. Drew gets distracted by Matt, which lets Kofi come back with a headscissors. Chops and a dropkick put Drew down. Crucifix pin gets 2. Drew charges to the corner, but gets a kick to the face. Top rope crossbody block gets 2 for Kofi. McIntyre comes back with a neckbreaker to the knee, but a vertical suplex is countered. Boom 3x Legdrop! Trouble in Paradise misses, as Drew slinks outside. Kofi plancha gets nothing. Drew wipes out Matt before going back to work on Kofi. Of course, Drew's hubris works against him, as he stops to gloat, allowing Kofi to hit the S.O.S. for the pin.
WINNER: Kofi Kingston - Really slow match whenever Drew was on offense. Kofi's quick pace and innovative moves nearly saved this one.
Matt escapes security's grasp and is able to run into the ring and hit Drew with the Twist of Fate. Matt escapes through the crowd. I love how much this angle has revitalized interest in Matt, who had a terrible stretch for a while there.
Backstage, Kane continues to mourn. Rey Mysterio offers sympathy. Kane accuses him of treachery most foul! Rey denies it and considering more than half of his offense simply ticks UT off, I'll take his word for it. Kane vows not to overlook any suspects.
Ad break. Edge is still the Guru of Slim Jim.
Just For Men Rewind - Replay of the Swagger/MVP match from earlier and the subsequent beatdown from the Gate Crashers.
Backstage, we go to Jack Swagger. Swagger talks to doubters about how OU invented swagger and generally goes for cheap heat. Swagger offers to sing the OU fight song. And we HIT THE MUSIC! HA! Follow the bouncing Swagger head! The awesomeness ends quickly, though, as Kane comes up behind him, looking quite angry. Swagger's hounddog look here is just priceless.
ROSA MENDES v. KELLY KELLY Oh lord, after a Drew McIntyre match, a Kelly Kelly match is trying my patience. We start with a lockup. Kelly leapfrogs a corner charge and does a delayed backflip for no good reason. Rosa gets a hairdrag for two. Corner charge from Rosa hits. LayCool stands on the ramp, just to try my patience that much more. Suplex gets two for Rosa. Rosa gets a hairpull into a leg scissors. Kelly hits a THESZ PRESS and a clothesline. Irish whip is reversed, btu Kelly gets a boot to the chest. Second rope crossbody block gets 2 for Kelly. The K2 Rocker Dropper finishes for Kelly in a short, painless (kinda) match.
WINNER - Kelly Kelly - LayCool are beside themselves. Oh, I am SO not looking forward to this feud. On the upside, at least Vickie isn't involved...yet.
Ad break. Another ad for Monday's 3-hour Viewer's Choice Raw.
This Week in WWE History - WWE celebrates the life of The Junkyard Dog. This week marks the 12th anniversary of his tragic death from a car accident.
Backstage, Big Show plays cards with Hornswoggle. Bet they couldn't WAIT to give us that image. Kane ruins the fun again and confronts Big Show. He points out that UT's always had Show's number. Show denies involvement and threatens the emotional Kane. Kane kicks the table over and leaves.
Recap of the Fatal 4 Way card and video package of the funeral we just saw less than two hours ago.
SMACKDOWN! BATTLE ROYALE: WINNER GETS INTO FATAL 4 WAY MAIN EVENT This match features the SD roster. Televised entrances go to Rey Mysterio and Dolph Ziggler before we go to a commercial.
We come back with...holy crap, it's a FINLAY sighting! Drew McIntyre gets his entrance, followed by Kofi Kingston - both guys looking worse for the wear from their match earlier. Kane comes in last, with pyro in tow. The bell rings and everyone goes nuts. A lot near-eliminations to start, but nothing happens for a good while. Rey slides out underneath the ropes and goes after CM Punk and goes for the mask! Luke Gallows makes the save, allowing CM Punk and Serena to escape. We go to commercial with NO eliminations so far.
Back from break, still no eliminations.
Striker: There's Finlay, the world's infamous... ... Grisham: World's infamous what? Striker: No, that's it. Just world's infamous.
Oy vey. We FINALLY get an elimination with Caylen Croft exiting thanks to Gallows. Chris Masters and Trent Baretta both go quickly thereafter. JTG gets taken out too. Hey, where IS Shad, anyway? Kofi and McIntyre eliminate each other. Gallows and Archer nearly take out Rey, but Rey saves himself by sliding back in. Dolph hits the Sleeper in a BATTLE ROYALE! Christian rightfully eliminates Dolph for being an idiot. Finlay takes out Christian as he tries to lunge for Dolph. That takes us to our last break of the night.
No eliminations during the break. Rey misses hitting Chavo with the 619, but takes him out with a headscissors. Finlay grabs Rey with a fireman's carry and tries to take him out, but Rey hangs on and hits a DDT. MVP and Finlay team up to throw out Vance Archer and Finlay IMMEDIATELY turns on MVP and throws him out after. But Finlay doesn't get to enjoy his intelligence, as Kane tosses him. Rey takes out Kurt Hawkins with a headscissors. It's down to Rey, Kane, and Gallows. Kane hits Rey with a boot and Gallows takes advantage and goes after Kane. THE MASKED MAN~! distracts Kane. Gallows nearly takes out Kane, but Kane stays on the apron and takes out THE MASKED MAN~! before eliminating Luke. It's down to Kane and Rey. Rey gets Kane in the 619 position, but gets clotheslined down before he can hit anything. Kane beats on Rey in the corner and nearly throws Rey out, but Rey hangs on. Rey comes back in and fights back, but meets a big boot. Corner charge from Kane eats boot. Rey hits the 619, but gets GOOZLED. Chokeslam is countered with a headscissors that takes Kane over the top. Rey wins!
WINNER: Rey Mysterio - Odd that we got no eliminations before the first break. Just a bunch of stuff going on. Not much of a battle royale.
Show ends with Rey celebrating.
Well, we have a mystery on our hands. It'd be too easy for UT's assailant to be one of the other three guys in the SD main event. I really have a bad feeling it's going to end up being a giant swerve and it'll end up being Kane. I hope that's not the case, because the world does not need another round of Undertaker vs. Kane. Unfortunately, barring a debuting or returning star, I can't imagine it being anyone else.
Oh well. One mystery at a time. Who's the masked SES'er? I'm personally putting my money on Darren Young.
Originally posted by It's False Kane angrily knocks over the podium and breaks down. We go to break, with nary a word from the commentators. Probably Kane's most intense promo ever, impressive considering he's been around nearly 15 years.
And, heck, he's been able to talk for about 10 years now! B^)
OK, I saw very little of this show, as it was fourth in my priority behind the Mets game, the Stanley Cup Finals, and the spelling bee finals. So it's not surprising I'm a little confused, but why was Kane saying that Taker would never walk among us and all that, if he's in a "vegetative state"? I mean, if anyone ought to be able to come out of a vegetative state, it's a guy who's considered quasi-undead to begin with, you know? Just all seems half-baked, like they really want to do an "Undertaker is dead" angle, but they can't get away with it, so they just call it something else and do it anyway.
I agree that it's likely going to be Kane that took out Undertaker, though I hope it's someone else, and they actually give Kane a decent feud. It's pretty bad that my favourite Kane match is the match he had with Shane McMahon when McMahon jumped from the Titantron.
Storyline aside, it's also ironic that the person who actually took out UT was the person who won the title shot.....
And my guess on the masked SES member is Joey Mercury. Though I also admit I did a lot of internet sleuthing on it lol.
Wait, I remember this plot from the old Super Friends cartoon. They thought Superman was dead, but instead he was in this weird pose that served to slow down his heart rate to a crawl so the kryptonite wouldn't affect him as strongly. Luckily Batman figured it out before they sent his coffin into the burning hot sun.
So I think that's what will happen -- Undertaker put himself into this vegetative state to avoid further injury, and Kane will figure it out and revive him.
I can actually get behind the 'Kane did it' twist if this is Undertaker's last year in wrestling. They've had a long enough history that they need one more match to seal off their rivalry once and for all.
Originally posted by HokienauticWait, I remember this plot from the old Super Friends cartoon. They thought Superman was dead, but instead he was in this weird pose that served to slow down his heart rate to a crawl so the kryptonite wouldn't affect him as strongly. Luckily Batman figured it out before they sent his coffin into the burning hot sun.
Wouldn't being sent into the sun just really amp up Superman's powers, though, not cremate him?
Kane's promo was excellent! And live in-ring -- not pre-taped. Emma impressed! Have we ever done a Kane split-personality, schizophrenia thing? I could roll with crazy-evil Kane did it, & less-crazy-occasionally-reasonable Kane is angrily investigating.
(Hasn't the word always been that, when Undertaker loses the WM streak, he wants it to be to Kane? Do I remember that correctly? It would usually be way early to start a WM feud, but if Taker is really going to be off TV for a while, they might want to get started on that important a storyline.)
The premise of "over the Weekend Undertaker was found in a vegitative state" doesn't start off all that great, but as long as that vagueness is deliberate & going somewhere, I can go with it.
Masked SES member? Have we ever seen him & Son-Bryan-ben-Daniel in the same place together? We've laid appropriate groundwork already for that with his character -- could conceivably make him even more straightedge than Punk.
Undertaker is out and to hear that the WWE storylines it that he is in a vegetative state....figures.
Through all the Kane commotion, why do I have the feeling that in the end, it will be Kane who put his brother in that vegetative state?
It wouldn't surprise me seeing how years ago that Kane allowed Vince McMahon to win that buried alive match and alas, the American-badass Undertaker was gone and old-school Undertaker returned and a brief feud between the Brothers of Destruction took place.
I thought Kane was actually going to go to Fatal 4 Way but thankfully, it was Rey Mysterio who won and is competing in the PPV because between Kane and Big Show, that title match may have already hit the snooze alarm if Kane made it in. Plus, the storyline can be continuous without Kane in the title picture.