(Not that you shouldn't have already read the other, better, quicker recap)
TV PG DLV entertainment - Brock & Paul, from the beginning (when Brock was the 'hottest free agent') to the ugly end (stills from the PPV.) Hey, if you're Paul, why do you pull out the ref? I mean, you're still his agent, now you know he can't be beat, and the only one even talking (well, ever) about a break up was you, so why not screw Big Show and stick with the winning guy? Maybe he'll explain this to me later. (2:48)
Brock is pacing in the garage - waiting for Paul Heyman and Big Show to show up. They're not here, yet, so...
Open: (compared to 8/22)
Rock, profile. Rock's looking at YOU. extreme closeup of the Smackdown Logo Undertaker (old: Edge) Smackdown Logo. Brock (old: Hogan) extreme closeup of the Smackdown Logo Rock Edge. More Edge. Stephanie, puckering to the camera and looking really bad with that color treatment (old: Angle, half shadow shot.) The old "bottom half of the guys' face" and the old "torso flashing by" Smackdown Logo Torrie Mark Henry Brock's back (old: Hogan, double bicep) Angle Brock Angle's eyesocket. Tazz. Rikishi. Torrie A quick frame of the old Torrie shot and sudden switch too SmackDown Logo Stephanie (old: Billy with the single bicep under Chuck's head, Edge, Rikishi, Edge) Faarooq. Smackdown logo alternates with Triple H's waterspit. Smackdown logo, Shane gets thrown through. Rock Bottom for Undertaker Frog Splash Rey's Cage Plancha - two angles. Torrie in a starred bikini F5 on Rock from SummerSlam (old: Hogan tearing off his shirt) Rikishi. 619 on Chavo. Undertaker on bike with arm raised. (old: Batista yelling) Chris Benoit's TLC table belly flop Mark Henry. The Rock in the ring Undertaker - RAW-style open footage with dark lighting, actually (old: Rock.) John Cena Lance Storm takes the Stinkface. Brock (old: Hogan does the Atlas pose.) Undertaker rides to the ring (old: Hurricane celebrates getting his mask back) Angle, bald and in the ring. (old: Jericho, in pain.) Matt Hardy, version 1 (old: Chuck and Billy, posing.) Edge, posing. Big Show (old: Smackdown Logo) Rock asks someone to Just Bring It. Bald Angle and his fireworks. Rock poses. Kidman does the SSP Brock yelling. Angle crying. Rey flying. A quick frame of Angle's eye socket. Rock. Rey. Undertaker (Old: Rock.) Edge. quick cut the eye that leads into the SmackDown open. (old: Vince, older Austin - may still be his eye and they clipped it to look anonymous.)
Fireworks. This the Hartford Civic Center, confidently located in Hartford, CT. SAP (though probably not where you live.) Brock is here waiting for Big Show and Paul Heyman - and they WILL be here, because Big Show defends the title tonight against...Edge. I guess it's Sweeps and anything can happen, but I dunno. Big Show's video has Paul holding the belt so Big Show can grab it and pose, just in case you couldn't get the subtle nature of this team.
Rey Mysterio (San Diego, CA, 175 pounds, 7) vs Jamie Noble (w/Nidia, Hanover, WV, 200, 2) - Your hosts - Tazz and Cole - pimp Rey on RAW magazine. What's Rey doing on RAW magazine? Would you believe this is Rey's first Cruiserweight match since 9/24? Jamie is not in a happy mood tonight - maybe it's those five pounds he dropped? Later tonight, new Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman defends against Tajiri. Circle. Lockup - no Noble with a kick. Turnbuckle smash, kicks to the midsection. Jamie is on a losing streak, you know. Corner whip, charge, Rey with a kick, Jamie catches, Rye swings but he cant reach with his arms, Jamie throws the boot down, Rey with a monkey flip, Jamie lands on his feet, Rey knocks him down with a dropkick anyway. Whip, reversed, Rey with a springboard spinning headscissors, nice. Jamie will take a time out. Noble pushes Nidia way, because he's got to get his head clear. Rey off the ropes, baseball slide dropkick is side stepped and Jamie runs him back first into to the barricade. Brock back in, and Jamie liked those shoulder corner smashes he saw Benoit use on Edge so much, he's gonna use on Rey here. Armbar., kick to the midsection, kick to the midsection, kick to the midsection, stretch that left arm over the ropes. Dropkick to the arm! He's picked his body part. Rey ends up on the apron, Suplex in - no, Rey lands behind, Jamie's right is blocked, Rey hits a right right Jamie cuts him off with a knee. Whip, lift and Rey hits the dropkick. Tazz suggests Jamie needs jean shorts with better luck. Jamie misses a clothesline and runs into a flapjack - wheel kick follows. Rey's been hanging around Edge too much. One two NO. Whip, reversed, Jamie pulls him into a Head and Arm suplex - Cole: "Shades of Tazz!" - one two NO. Tazz tells us he invented that move. Jamie up and on Rey - double underhook powerbomb, no Rey slips out and behind, Jamie charges, drop toe hold and Jamie's on the middle ropes. Rey runs - 619. Rey's calling for it - but Nidia is actually paying attention and pulls Rey off the apron. Rey starts chasing Nidia, Nidia in, Rey in, Jamie toss him into a head first drop on the ropes, but Rey lands on the second rope and bounces back - West Coast Pop one two three. (3:09) Jamie loses for a fourth straight show. Cole: "The downward spiral continues!" I think Cole's been hanging around too much with Edge too. Here are some replays - Rey is wacky. Jamie is unhappy.
Brock Lesnar is pacing. You'd think he'd get tired but no, he wouldn't. Now where he's going? Locker room, I guess. We watch him walk all the way back - actually, seeing as it's only Chavo Guerrero, Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, and Matt Hardy (Version 1) hanging back there, I guess it's the heel locker room. Brock's presence manages to quiet the room - they don't want to get in his way. Well, one man isn't scared - one man has the guts to stand up and say something: "Hey Brock, hey buddy. Look man, I just wanted to tell you that I was really impressed with your performance at Survivor Series Sunday. I mean, it was awesome - you German suplexed the Big Show, you F5 the Big Show, I mean that was incredible. It was just too bad that your agent Paul Heyman had to go and screw you out of your title. But if you had a few more of my Mattributes and maybe just a little more Mattiude, then you probably wouldn't have suffered such a bad Twist Of Fate." Brock pats Matt on the shoulder - then runs him into a wall hard - whoa, he just threw him through the other wall! You can see Crash and Chris the Trainer trying to figure out how Matt Hardy just ended up in the trainers office. Brock looks at Matt, looks at the rest (Albert - and I guess that's Michael Hayes, because he tries to keep a low profile - were just around a corner and out of sight till Brock decided to kill Matt), and storms back off. Chris and Crash (not using his Crash voice) check to see if Matt's still conscious as we go to break.
RAW (this ad is sponsored by RAW - well, not here but you get the idea) 11/25: Home of The Lowgators, SC 11/30: Amarillo, TX 12/01: Laredo, TX 12/02: Austin, TX
Moments Ago - Matt, meet wall. I mean, you know it's a fake wall and Matt kinda had to fall back to break the last bit but it was still a nice visual.
We're back, and Stephanie has joined Chris, Albert, and the Guerreros in checking in on Matt. Eddie: "That Brock Lesnar, he's like a crazy man - he's coming in here, you know, throwing Matt through a wall, I mean, c'mon!" Stephanie is unaware Brock did this because she doesn't watch her won show. Eddie says Paul was right - Brock is a maniac." Matt is up (but stumbling) and getting help to the trainers table. Eddie: "You know what mom - I don't feel safe here. If anything, this is a very unsafe work environment! [Chavo parrots] I'll tell you what, I'm talking on behalf [talking over each here as Matt moves by] I mean, if that was Kurt Angle, who would I be wrestling tonight? If that was Chris, who would Chavo be wrestling tonight?" Chavo: "Who knows who Brock Lesnar is going to take out tonight?" Stephanie says she'll take care of it, but Eddie doubts it - "do you actually think Brock Lesnar is going to listen to a woman?" Stephanie doesn't take that well. "Eddie, I run SmackDown! - not you, and not Brock Lesnar. I'll take care of this." Stephanie walks back out through the hole (hey, Steph, ever heard of a door?), as Eddie and Chavo go to check on Matt."
Elsewhere, Nidia consoles Jamie about his lose. Nidia says it's just a patch of bad luck. "You don't understand, Nidia. It's bigger than that. I let you down, I let myself down...." "Jamie, don't look at it that way - at least we still have each other." "I know it baby but we ain't got the Cruiserweight Title no more. And that good life, that good life that we had - it's gone. And if we're gonna get it back, I know the one person we've gotta call." "No. No. [Jamie won't look at Nidia, so Nidia forces him to] Jamie Noble, no! You're not calling that crazy cousin of yours." "Nidia, I ain't got no choice!" "Yes you do!" "I know you don't want me to call him, and I don't want really have to call him either." "Then don't Jamie!" "I've made my mind! I've gotta make that is call - if we're gonna get that good life back, I have to call my cousin Nunizo. [Nidia loudly sighs and tosses her hair back.] Baby, I ain't got no choice."
Still elsewhere - oh, back to Brock pacing and waiting. There's the Stephanie. There's a lot of crowd noise not turned down to let us hear her talk. That's okay. Brock is more interested in doing his pacing dance than listening to Stephanie, it seems, although because he's now looking at Stephanie while he's doing it, he's not actually looking at the door, I think. Anyway, Stephanie says that Brock will get his rematch - but not tonight, because his ribs are still messed up. This is one of those bit where Brock moves around a bunch and someone else carries the whole load talking, you know, so it's good thing it's Stephanie doing the talking. Anyway, if Brock "so much as lays a hand on Paul Heyman, the Big Show, or any other SmackDown! superstars tonight, than I'll be forced - Brock, I'll be forced to suspend you." That stops the pacing. Stare. Brock's doing the normal blank intensity he's always doing in these situations, and I think Stephanie is supposed to be going for a look of authority. Brock's the one who breaks off the death glare, and walks away.
Wow, a whole segment of backstage bits.
JVC New Cruiserweight Champion of Sunday (stills)
Now replacing Brock at the "wait for Paul Heyman and that other guy to show up" is everyone hates Marc Loyd. I guess Brock went to go find someone else to throw through a wall.
Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds, 1, c) vs Tajiri (Japan, 206 pounds, 4) for the Cruiserweight Title (1st Title Defense) - Kidman has some rap music that doesn't seem to fit him or come across well on TV very well. Armageddon tickets - Fort Lauderdale, FA, 12/15 - go on sale Saturday. Joey Numbers will be getting his. This my ALL-TIME favorite Velocity match - I don't think Kidman's ever beat Tajiri without help from Torrie. Lockup, Kidman with an armbar, Tajiri handstands to a reversal, hammerlock, Kidman with a jumping snap mare escape. Stephanie is keeping Brock from Paul and Show to protect the credibility of SmackDown!, Cole figures. Kidman goes for an armdrag, but it is he who is armdragged. Tajiri runs into a Kidman armdrag and now we have a standoff. Handshake? Tajiri kicks the hand away with his left, then kicks Kidman in the temple with his right! One two NO. Referee Brian Hebner was impressed by that kick. Stomp. Slam. Jumping knee drop to the head one tow no. Snap mare, chinlock. Cole's spies tell him that the WWE Champion's limo is only a few miles away, right as Tajiri goes for the chinlock. In the WORST BIT OF EDITING since that Thunder where Jeff Jarrett bragged about being the third Villano before the Sting vs 3 Villanos match aired, we get a Double Feature of Tajiri hitting a jumping side kick on Kidman that was apparently edited out. When I say "I guess they don't watch their own show", I guess I'm not kidding! Kidman battles out of the chinlock (the first time we've seen in 'real time'), right hands, corner whip, Kidman charges in but Tajiri's out. Tajiri off the ropes but Kidman dropkicks him one tow no. Slam, no Tajiri goes behind, Kidman kicks, caught but the enziguri is not. Kidman drags him in place - no Tajiri hits the snap kick from the mat cover one two no. Corner whip, reversed, Kidman charges in, Tajiri jumps up Tarantula! Kidman is in position - KO Kick is DUCKED, Kidman ducks a clothesline off the ropes, Kidman 'rana (he holds hi mouth after coming through for no particular reason), Tajiri with that bridge out to sneak behind and there's the big kick to the back of the head one two NO. Tajiri seems okay with that. Tajiri sets him up - piledriver? NO, Kidman out - fireman's carry into a knee neckbreaker one two NO. Whip, Tajiri back with the handspring elbow. Kidman crawling to the corner, Tajiri stalks him - running tornado DDT - NO, Kidman reverses into the Short Powerbomb. Kidman going up, Shooting Star Press connects one two three. (3:34) The ones on Velocity were better but look at the SSP one more time. One title match down, one to come. That music sounds DMX-like
Marc Loyd is still waiting - hey, lookie, they're here. Paul holds the belt. I'll have to listen to them later so why transcribe now. Paul reveals that someone's called him on his cell phone already to tell them about Matt Hardy, and about Stephanie's suspended threat. "So in other words - so in it's other words" [Show realizes hit's his cue] "So in other words, step aside, because the new WWE champion is HERE"
Hmm, no break - straight to: PS2 Smack Your Mouth New Tag Team Champions of Sunday
Chris Benoit (Edmonton, Alberta, 229 pounds) vs WWE Tag Team Champion Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 213 pounds, w/WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero) - Has Chris realizes that Chavo was the one who hit him with the belt? I guess he should notice that he is not actually suspended right now. Hmm, "SmackDown! Senior Referee (By Default)" Mike Choida is giving Eddie a pre-emptive expulsion - Eddie and Chavo argue it, but manage to handle it pretty well. Hug! Eddie slowly leaves. Circle. Chavo takes a look at some fan in the crowd and Benoit is on him kick - forearm, whip, back elbow. Side backbreaker one two NO. Chop. Whip, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker one two NO. Corner whip, Chavo goes in chest first and comes out right into a German suplex. Benoit will hold for another, no Chavo with a switch to a full nelson, Benoit switches to a full nelson, Chavo turns and hits a knee to get control. Knee, knee, knee, forearm to the back of the neck, side back breaker. Tazz is explaining the dragon suplex. Corner whip, Benoit goes in chest first, Chavo grabs him and throws him back in the same corner, shoulder first into he post. Again into the post, and Choida is backing him up to get up. Chavo back out, then kicks Benoit from over Mike's shoulder. Working that shoulder with right hands. Chavo is forced back again and Benoit manages a chop, but Chavo is back with right hand sand kicks. Benoit trying to battle out with rights, but gets knee. Corner whip, reversed, Benoit charges into a back elbow, Chavo charges out into the Crossface face no he can't get it on - Chavo battles to the ropes, dumping Benoit out in the process. Chavo running, suicide TOPE! You don't get enough topes in WWE, that's what I always say. You know, the difference between a tope and a plancha is that you go head first on a tope, and you hit with your chest or your back on a plancha. Chavo with a right to he midsection, then throws Benoit back in. Up to the apron - slingshot splash meets knees! Benoit's still in a lot of pain, though, so Chavo's the first one up. Kick to the gut. European uppercut. Whip, Benoit with an inside cradle, Chavo rolls through, to his feet, misses with a clothesline Benoit German suplex German Suplex German Suplex. Benoit getting tremendous height on that. Benoit grabbing that previously shoulder - but now he's doing the thumb across the throat. Going up - flying headbutt connects! One two NO! Well why the heck does he keep doing that then. Here's a replay. Benoit is slow up himself, with that left arm down by his side. Benoit tires to pick him up, but Chavo is up quick with a head to the midsection. Shoulders to the midsection, forcing Benoit in the corner now. CHOP no Benoit ducks under, kick, Suplex and Chavo's dropped gut first on the ropes. Benoit is hunched over in pain, and Chavo manages a shoulder to midsection form the apron, and he's up quick - top rope cross body is sidestepped, CROSSFACE Chavo has no where to go - he's done. (4:55) Benoit's still holding that left arm to his side, but he still got Chavo to tape out.
They're not turning the crowd noise down enough with Brock and Stephanie again - oh there we go. Stephanie explains that he might want to stay in the back, because Paul and Big Show are headed to the ring. Brock gets a word and a growl in! Stephanie also suggest that Brock shouldn't listen to Paul, because Paul's just going to try to provoke him. Stephanie keeps talking - "If you so much as lay a hand on Paul Heyman or the Big Show - I don't want to do it Brock, but I will be forced into suspending you." Brock responds right in her face. "That's bulls[bleep]"
Up next - Big Show & Paul Heyman - Cole guarantees Brock will be watching, because I guess he doesn't take Stephanie seriously either.
what's with this blank screen - oh, someone started this "Bill DeMott" as evil Tough Enough trainer vignette late. (:19) He's coming to SmackDown, don't be too excited.
That's Brock Lesnar's music but very noticeable his video isn't playing - instead, it's Paul Heyman, doing his best Brock impersonation. "Look at Heyman, with that that title - the WWE Championship around his waist - that is sacrilegious!" It takes till Cole gets to ring for him to realize it's a Brock impersonation. Paul gives the apron jump a couple of takes and opts for the ring steps instead. And by that, I apparently mean a big hop on to the ring steps. Has he been hanging out with Crash? Crowd is giving him a naughty chant. Oh no he's going to talk. Cole clarifies - he's not a slime bag, but he's a disingenuous slime bag. "Made it Ma, top of the world! You know, it only happens once in a lifetime. Once in a lifetime it comes along a man so special, that everyone realizes that this guy is different, this one is head and shoulders about the rest, this guy is so so extraordinary that he has no peers. A man that can conquer all his fear! Only once in a lifetime that you can see a guy along that has that - that - that intangible It factor that separates himself from every other person in that locker room! And ladies and gentleman, let's give credit where credit is due, since the day after Wrestlemania, you have all had the honor and the privilege of witness the extraordinary greatness of...Paul Heyman! Oh, you all know it to be true - you know it for a fact that it was a Paul Heyman that dubbed Brock Lesnar the next Big Thing. You watched me lead Brock Lesnar during the King of the Ring. You marveled how I plotted the strategy of ending the career of Hollywood Hulk Hogan, and then you all witnessed how I gave Brock Lesnar all the tools necessary to beat the Rock for this title at SummerSlam! I also know you appreciate the sacrifice I made when I helped Brock Lesnar in Hell in the Cell against the Undertaker. But then you see the monster stopped listening to Dr. Frankenstein, so I had to show Brock Lesnar who was boss. I had to show Brock Lesnar was not only his great physical attributes but also my mind! And so, this past Sunday night, I taught Brock Lesnar a lesson - because I want all the credit to go to me! Because I singlehandly engineered the greatest inside job in the history of Sports Entertainment when I personally cost Brock Lesnar the WWE Title in Madison Square Garden at Survivor Series to my New Client, my 7 foot 4 client, my 500 pound client. A client who does listen to me! A client who does recognize my brilliance! A client who does understand me for the mastermind that I truly am! And now the giant of a body meets the Colossus of the mind! And I ask you Brock, who holds this title right now? The answer is my new client - ladies and gentleman, the WWE Champion, my new client, the Big Show." WELL you know if you have to say something positive about Heyman, you can give him credit for not taking frequent pauses to allow them to get the WHAT start. That's a fantastic suit on the Show there but - wait, they want me to quote Cole and Tazz here. Cole: "[Tazz], my question to you is this - how many people do you know that have worked out business deals with Paul Heyman, and have ended those deals in a positive business relationship?" "Well Cole, the answer to that is zero. When it comes to business relationships, Paul Heyman is a nymphomaniac - he screws everyone he deals with. Every deal ends sour, bad and ugly! Take it from experience." Tazz is talking about when he got kicked out of the Alliance, I think. Paul going to one knee and posing like that to show is only inadvertently like Undertaker and Paul Bearer without an urn, right? I think my point was "if he's such a freak, why is he dressed to look like a normal guy" but the better point these two just brought up was "why DIDN'T Brock know it'd eventually go down like this - and why is Show doing this, seeing how it just went down with the last guy?" Show's gonna get to talk, imagine that. He's got the belt on his shoulder now. "I would like to thank Brock Lesnar. I would like to thank Brock Lesnar for giving me to the opportunity to wrestle him for this title at Survivor Series. [Cole thinks Show is crying - nah] I would like to thank Brock Lesnar for being so hot headed, and for leaving the door so wide open so I could walk and talk everything that he had! I'm 7 foot tall, 500 pounds, and simply, I was man enough to do it. [Paul: "You are the Big Show!"] I am the giant. Brock, I took your agent, I took your title, I took your whole damn life away from you. You know what probably bothers you the most? There wasn't a damn thing you could do about it! Now, not only am I Giant, I'm focused, determined, defending champion, with the most brilliant mind in our business today behind me! And Edge, tonight, it's your opportunity to come and try to take this title away from me. But there's no way I'm giving it up!" Paul asks if he can talk more - say no, say no oh "I just want to take a personal liberty to add one more thing. Brock Lesnar, just for the public record, Brock Lesnar, I hereby dump you as my client! [Show claps] And although this has nothing to do with business, it's just a little personal Brock - my final act as your agent occurred late last week, right before Survivor Series, when I negotiated one extra clause in the contract for Survivor Series, and that clause, Brock is called, 'no rematch.' Gotcha!" Surely the Ethical Board of Agents will be after Paul for that one. Cole and Tazz talk about this but say little. Show and Paul pose on the ramp one more time - Paul holding the Belt over his head. Brock Lesnar is out through the crowd, ripping a chair away from a security person and up after Show (Paul having run and Show not so much) - chair shot to the back! Referees are there but they've not got a chance to hold back Brock when -
Spiderman video commercial. That was SUDDEN. I guess once you're going to commercial, you're going to commercial.
Moments Ago, it looks like Show didn't run because he was going to try to block Brock's way from getting Paul, but then saw him with the chair and tries to run, a little to late.
During the Break (or two seconds after we cut away), Stephanie and the officials finally got a control of Brock. You know, he didn't lay a hand on Show (they were all on the chair!), so I don't see what the problem is here. Stephanie has an opposing viewpoint. Stephanie is yelling but as usual no one is listening. Hey, is that Michael Hayes again? Hey, is that JR sitting over there with a headset on? What's he doing on SmackDown? (Telling Cole and Tazz what to say during that last segment.) That's not right - but that replay bugs me more. Stephanie concedes to my semantics argument (or maybe decides that Paul shouldn't get credit for drawing the foul - the logic here isn't spelled out) and says that if Brock does anything ELSE tonight, he's going to be suspended.
Kurt Angle (Pittsburgh, PA, 237 pounds, WWE Anthology) vs WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 228 pounds, w/WWE Tag Team Champion Chavo Guerrero) - Kurt's wearing the heavy knee wrap under the pad this week. Chavo's shoulder still hurts a little bit form that Crossface. Chavo's facial hair is coming nicely. Next week is SmackDown! Coincidently, it will also be Thanksgiving. Craziness will ensure and hopefully will not be limited to PETA calling about this animation of a turkey taking a chair shot. Brian Hebner thought it was neato frito when Choida sent Eddie to the back, so he's going to do the same thing with Chavo here. Less of an argument this time. Cole keeps calling the Guerreros "jackals" and Tazz asks him what he really knows about farm animals. Circle. Lockup, Angle with a headlock, takedown, Eddie with eh leg scissors reversal, break, both back up, Angle back with the headlock. Thanks for nothing! Eddie trying to battle out with a wristlock, but Angle battles back to the headlock. Eddie trying to elbow out, now shooing Angle into the ropes, and Angle back with a big shoulderblock that flips Eddie over. Eddie out and angry. Angle will not dive at him, I think - he's waiting for Eddie to come back in. Eddie taking his time in, then on to the apron. Circle. Reaching. Wristlock, and Eddie sneaks in a eye poke. Side headlock. Angle with a right, shoots Edie into the ropes, Eddie back with a shoulderblock. Eddie of the ropes, over, into back body drop. MONKEY FLIP! Angle is an amazing dude. Right, right, right, right, right, that's less cool. Whip, right misses, Angle with the spinebuster. There was some delay there from the pickup to the drop, and it didn't look as good as a result. Eddie is out, Angle is out after him with a front facelock but Eddie rams him hard into the ring steps. Eddie throws in Angle, and he's - going for a chair already. No, let's make that two chairs. And he's - taking them on a tour of ringside. One left outside by the apron (ramp side), one he's bringing in but Hebner catches that takes it away. Hebner goes to put it away, and so Eddie grabs the other one (he saw Godfather do this) - kick to Angle, chair shot to back. Eddie throws out the steel chair to the ramp side, and covers one two NO. Eddie tries to pick Angle up, but Angle pops up out of nowhere, shoving Eddie back firs tin the corner. Punches, Corner whip, Eddie starts to come out but Angle turns and forearms him into the back. Angle with a right, right, corner whip, reversed, and Angle collapses from the impact and his back pain. Tazz notes that he's going after the back too. Northern Lights Suplex one two NO. USA chant. CAMEL CLUTCH! Eddie Guerrero is no El Hijo Del Santo! But it's not that bad to be Eddie Guerrero. Tazz tries to come up with a new name for the Camel Clutch but it doesn't work for me. Angle escapes the chinlock an grabs an leg, but Eddie manages to land out of his reach - eye rake, snap mare, boot scrape. Eddie firmly back in control. Right. Angle using Eddie to get to his feet, but Eddie ready for him - suplex, no Angle reverses it into a big DDT. Back on the stage, Chavo Guerrero has reappeared with his belt. Back in the ring, both men are slow up. Punching, and Angle wins that - Whip, reverses, Angle ducks a clothesline and hits a forearm. Corner whip, whoa rebound clothesline one two NO. Who does he think he is, Kidman. Corner whip, reversed, Eddie hits a tilt-a-whirl neckbreaker, with Angle's head going right off Eddie's knee - considering the story so far, I think that went bad. Hebner does check on both guys. Chavo is very slowly sneaking down to ringside - as if moving very slow, he won't make noise and attract attention. Eddie with a suplex, no Angle lands behind - German Suplex German suplex (watch Eddie JUMP), a third is blocked because Eddie gets to the ropes - Hebner tries to get Eddie off the ropes and Eddie hits a low blow mule kick on Angle. Eddie throws Angle out to the ramp side - I don't know how Hebner doesn't see Chavo then, but Eddie makes sure he's distracted the other way so Chavo can drops hi belt, run, stomp Angle, and run back to his position. Hmm, Chris Benoit is now on the stage, and Chavo, halfway on the ramp, is unaware. Back at ringside, Eddie stomps Angle's back - slam on the floor. Eddie in to break the count. Eddie distracts again, so Chavo can get kicks to Angle's chest - posted! Benoit is...watching, and not getting involved one way or the other. Eddie throws in Angle, and there's the slingshot senton to the back. Eddie yells to the crowd, who actually yell back. Lasso from El Paso! This is how he won the tag team titles - well, Angle reversing that into the Anklelock didn't happen there but it's happening here. Eddie rolls forward - right back into the leghold, and he's got the Lasso back on! Chavo is yelling to make him tape. Angle won't give - and he's got the Anklelock again. Eddie quickly pushes him off before too much damage can be down - right hand is ducked, release German by Angle! Angle yells at Eddie to get up - kick to the midsection, Olympic slam no Eddie lands behind and pushes him away. Chavo hops to the apron, Angle swings at him, Chavo drops off, Angle is distracted and runs into Eddie's suplex. Benoit, doing nothing. Hebner did yell at Chavo for being out. here. Eddie's feeling Froggy - well, now he's not feeling good, he got crotched. Chavo back on the apron, Chavo clothesline off the apron. Angle runs up the ropes - off the second rope Olympic Slam one two THREE (9:53) Chavo is in - waistlock, no Angle reverses it right to the Anklelock. Chavo tapping out but I don't think it'll help much. Now he's got the rope sand it helps him only just to get away. Kurt looks at Chavo, looks at Angle...and notices Benoit on the stage, clapping for Benoit. See, a possible challenger just beat the champion, but does he still have a partner? Who knows.
Backstage, Edge, Funaki and a Production Assitant look over the lineup - I guess they're up next. Well, not the production assistant.
My local breaks off the beginning of this Scott Steiner video package but I bet it went :25 - it's the Boom Shaka Laka one, if you must know. Oh wait, he's "Guest Starring" Next Week, whatever the heck that means. Nothing says Thanksgiving like Big Poppa Pump!
Let's go back to Survivor Series, where Bad Things Happened to Good People. Shockingly, this is NOT stills. (:23)
SmackDown! #1 Announcer Funaki talks to Edge: "I'm here to get story with Edge, who is meeting the Big Show tonight for the WWE Title. Your thoughts?" "Well, Funaki, the first thing that comes to mind is just how big the Big Show. I mean, he's seven feet tall. He's also five hundred very big pounds." "He reminds of - Godzilla!" "He reminds you of Godzilla? Well Funaki, don't worry, because we're not in Tokyo. As a matter of fact, we're in Hartford, CO. And tonight, you might as well pretend that I'm a big hairy ape that's named King Kong - and like everyone knows, King Kong always kicks Godzilla's ass! But in all seriousness, tonight is one of the biggest nights of my career. This is my first shot at the WWE Title here on SmackDown!. And I know that chances like this don't come around everyday, so you're damn right that I'm going to make the most of it. I know it's not gonna be easy; fighting a five hundred pound giant never is. I'm probably gonna be tossed around like a ragdoll. Yea, I'm gonna get roughed up, but that's the price I'm willing to pay to Big Show. That's the price I'm going to pay to make my life long dream come through. And that's the price I'm going to pay to become WWE champion." It's coming up later - Edge vs the Big Show for the Title.
Lugz Invitation Turndown of Last Thursday
Here's the outside of the Civin Center. It looks like a Civic Center.
RAW Retro - This is Your Life, oh no. 9/27/99. Should I even bother to ask why this is on SmckDown! Wow, they totally obliterate "p[bleep] pie". Whatever happened to that Rock guy, that's what I want to know.
John Cena (rap music, no hometown given, 241 pounds) vs Rikishi (no hometown given, 350 pounds) - You know, you can make your Vanilla Ice jokes, but to me, John Cena is Marky Mark (without a Funky Bunch.) oh yea, I really wanted to see this match again. "This should be a great matchup!" You're a dirty stinkin' liar, Michael Cole. Wait - Look at Dawn and Look at Al are out. "Before you two start this match, we have something to say. In case you didn't know, I'm marrying this man - Al Wilson. Al and I are getting very close this blessed day, and when this day rolls around, I would personally like to invite every SmackDown! fan to be part of it." "We want to share this scared day, we all want to share for all of those that have supported our love. SO, everyone, considered yourself cordially invited!" And KISS. Rikishi points as if to say "Why is this still going on? Does this mean they'll be building a show around another marriage?" It's very dramatic point, let me tell you. Tazz: "[Al]'s so old, his grandkids collect Social Security!" Wow, Torrie looks good for her age! What, a break? I'm supposed to stick around for this match?
They probably shouldn't have had two back to back non-match segments - four on the night so far.
John Cena vs Rikishi - joined in progress, because if you really wanted to see this match, you would have seen it already. Cena out of the corner with a clothesline on Rikishi as we come back. Back suplex one two NO. Chinlock. We get a replay of Cena having a pre-match attack go bad earlier. Rikishi elbowing out, Cena misses a clothesline, off the ropes, sunset flip, Rikishi sits down but Cena moves in time. Wow, this is so familiar. Cena stands over Rikishi, pats his butt - jumping sit on the chest. One two Rikishi's press push off was so big it caused Cena to fly through the ropes. Certainly he didn't jump there. Cena is back in and talking trash, there's the chest pounded. Wow, this is exactly what I saw in the entrance video moments earlier! Well they didn't show Rikishi punching him but you get the idea. Whip, Samoan Drop. Corner butt smash. Side belly to belly one two three. (2:07) Rikishi is the Franchise! Rikishi has apparently decided he'll do the Bonzai drop even if he already has the win - but Cena rolls out of the way, and someone's slipping under Rikishi's leg and lifting him on his shoulders. Electric chair suplex! Cena holds down Rikisih's legs - off the ropes, legdrop! Off the ropes, legdrop! It's Hulk Hogan! Hulk Hogan has aligned himself with John CENA! oh wait it's Bull Buchanan in a skull cap, never mind. I guess someone just got their Funky Bunch. "That's what I'm talking about - that's my dawg! That's my dawg!"
Paul and Big Show have a conversation about how Brock wants to kill them. (Get in line!) Big Show says there's no way he can compete tonight - Paul's got to tell Stephanie that his match isn't happening. Paul don't want to be other where Brock can dismember him. Big Show asks firmly again, and Paul agrees, sine he's his agent and all.
WWE Anthology Cuts - "Need A Little Time" Lillian signs Torrie's song, ah. "Because I don't see myself as a 'sexy' girl, my song is very important to me - because it is a slower song, and it gets me - it makes me feel sexy. Just slow down and try to be sexy [laughs]." (1:10) WWE Anthology sold over 250,000 and is 13th on the Billboard 200.
While we're pimping products, Tazz models SmackDown 3: Smack Your Mouth. Here's some footage of Brock taking on Big Show that Cole and Tazz obviously aren't seeing but they're not talking over it. Segueing on to Brock Lesnar - let's take a look through Brock's show so far, from introducing Matt to a wall (they broke it off), Paul taunting Brock and revealing the no rematch stip, Brock coming after them, and now...
Stephanie and Paul talk. Paul's a little bit jumpy, since Stephanie doesn't know where Brock is either. Paul says Big Show is in no condition to defend the title tonight. "What do you mean, he's in no condition to defend the title tonight?" I think he's on The Drugs, Steph. Oh wait this is the back thing and the Brock wanting to kill him tonight thing, never mind. Stephanie says Big Show will be defending his title against Edge tonight. Paul asks how Stephanie can assure him that Brock will not attack them again tonight - Stephanie again says if Brock gets involved, he will get suspended. Paul points out her not doing such before, and Stephanie guarantees (there's that word again) that if Brock gets involved, she will suspended Brock. Paul tries to see how much he can overact while promising to sue Stephanie, "your father", the whole McMahon family and SmackDown! if he or Show gets attacked tonight and lives to tell about. Stephanie yells at him to get out.
you think you know Edge (Toronto, OT, 241 pounds) vs my two Pauls (no hometown given, 500 pounds) for the WWE Championship (1st Title Defense) - Edge likes making "I want the belt" motions. Because, you see, he wants the belt. Big Show weighs 500 pounds? I didn't know that. Big Show's right arm is taped. Back seems okay. Your referee is Mike Choida, and he's holding the belt up. You know Brock never defended this title on SmackDown!? Edge is backed up - now he's charging and thrown back into the corner. Again. Show charges in, Edge moves, right, right, right, whip, reverses, Edge ducks under a big boot, dropkick to the knee. Kick to the left leg, kick, kick, kick, Show's right is ducked, Edge-O-Matic is Blocked. Not a good sign. Show goes for a side slam but Edge flips out on his feet, dropkick and Show still hasn't gone down. Off the ropes, into a clothesline. Right. Choida is told to shut up. Open hand slap. Paul grimaces in sympathy pain. Big beal. Cole notes the taped arm. Boot choke by Show. Side backbreaker. "Big Show sucks!" chant causes Show to glare. Forearm to the back. "Huh, I suck? Huh? I suck?" Clothesline. Whip, head down too soon, Edge kicks it, kick, Edgecution - no Show blocks and tosses him up in the air. Show shoves Choida out of his way with his foot, yells at him, then picks up Edge on the apron - shot to the chest knocks Edge to the floor. Show out after him - running him into the post. Break the count, now he throws Edge back in. Show walking over Edge's back. Edge using Show's frame to pull himself up - right, right, big right by Show takes him down. Show yells at Choida for complaining about the closed first. Show picks up Edge - there's an elevated bear hug and Edge is thrown down. That looked better than usual from Show. Show picks up Edge - suplex. Show's still doing the tights and pants look. Big Show rips off a turnbuckle pad for no particular reason - well, now Edge is whipped in, he stop short, Show charge into and gets a drop toe hold to the exposed steel! Show is stumbling but still hasn't gone down, but Edge is to the top - flying axhandle, but he's caught in a goozle. Edge desperately flairs, purposely knocking Choida away - low blow kick! Edge grabs Show by the head - off the second rope swinging DDT! Show is finally taken down one two NO! Edge got kicked out into Choida there. Edge off the ropes - Spear! Show doesn't go down. SPEAR #2! Show is stumbling but on his feet - off the ropes, clothesline misses, SPEAR #3 TAKES HIM DOWN! one two Paul pulls Edge out. "Just like at Survivor Series." Edge spots Paul, the chase is on, Edge gets Paul by the back of his coat, but Show gets Edge by his neck, pulling him up to the apron - CHOKESLAM into the ring! That'll do it - oh, Paul has the mic. "Don't pin him! No, don't pin him Show! I want you to treat him like he's Brock Lesnar!" Chokeslam #2! "Since Brock Lesnar will never get a championship title match against the Big Show, give Brock Lesnar a title shot right now!" Chokeslam #3! Brock Lesnar IS out (we'll call it DQ 6:43) - Paul immediately jump into the front row to get free, but it's lucky for him that Brock wants Show first. Right right GOOZLE no broke out - Brock loads up Big Show loaded up, F5 ON SHOW! Paul is running out the exit and for his life, but Brock saw where he was and the chase is on. While the cameras catch up to them, let's watch a replay - Edge gets pulled out "saving the title" and a bit later, F5 on Show! That deserves two replays.
In the back, Paul is running - right into the limo, which has already starting to move as he get in - Brock gets to it too late. Brock is ticked off - but will Stephanie suspend him? You won't find out tonight, because there are the credits.
-Quick explanation: I know I started with the Backlash columns a little north of where it's legacy began, but that's mainly because my old recaps of those are still buried on /slash somewhere and my opinion prolly hasn't changed that much.