FOOTAGE! of Steph refusing to recant, from last week, with photos of a younger Steph.
It's my life, my time, my rights, my rhyme. It's Ssssssmackdown, from Hartford, Conn., and a Fashion Report, too!
Linda, in black leather coat with tan lapels and black pants, talks. She's trying to act shocked, but comes across as, well, disoriented. Fortunately, Steph, in black backless slingshot top and black bellbottoms, is out to (also) talk. Horay - Vince, in black suit with black shirt (top two buttons undone) is out to talk, too! Has Vince been reading Hamlet a lot lately? 'Cuz I don't know where else he's getting this material. Oh yeah, and then Sable, in black/gold bodysuit, is out just because she, too, wants to TALK! Physicality ensues. 12 minutes of our lives (wasted). I need more beer.
Rey, in black "Rey 619" tshirt, black/oilslick mask, joins Tazz, in black suit, white shirt, and yellow tie (still with the shades), and Cole, in white tshirt, on commentary. Tajiri, in black pants with dragons and flaming left hem, wearing the Cruiserweight Title, vs. Ultimo Dragon, in shiny platinum mask, pauldrons, cape, and tights, with many white spines. Hebner the Younger, in the blue shirt and black pants, referees. You can say "damn" in the 7 o'clock hour? BootToTheHead to a pin for Tajiri. Post-match scuffle. An average match.
In the back, Josh querries an angry Steph.
Taker, riding a bike, in black sleeveless "Worldwide Evil" tshirt, black leather "Big Evil" pants, and black bandana, drawling a promo, vs. Chuck, in black "FBI" undies, with Nunzio and Johnny. Nick Patrick looks younger in the blue shirt. Chokeslam to a pin. Average match. Post-match, Brock joins the FBI for a beating.
In his Room of Fun, Vince and Sable watch TV. And Paul London, in red-orange shirt and black slacks, interrupts. Vince then books a match - Paul vs. Brock. Way too slick hair, Paul.
Meanwhile, BigShow does his part to cause World Hunger by kicking butt in the dining area. I need more beer.
Earlier today, Zach was greeted in the back.
BigShow, in his trademark one-strap black singlet, vs. Orlando, in black sleeveless tiger-face tshirt and yellow tiger-face undies. Korderas wears the blue. Chokeslam to a pin. Squash.
In the back, Josh interviews Eddie, in black jacket and blue denim shirt, with the US Title and Tag Title over his shoulders. Show arrives on the scene to kick butt. Eddie has a religious experience.
Angle/Cena FOOTAGE! Tazz hosts a "battle rap". Cena, in black "Konexion" tshirt, over a hooded sweatshirt, and backwards cap. Angle, in blue sleeveless "Freedom of Choice" tshirt and red "Team Angle" warmups with white stars. Cena raps, and Angle responds in kind. Physicality ensues.
FOOTAGE! of Zach.
Shannon, in black/red pants with silver triangles, with Mattitude joining commentary, vs. Zach, in black shorts with red buttstripe. Mike Sparks wears the blue. Yeah, Shannon really is loading up on the bodyart. Revive the Mattitude/Zach rivalry. Flying neckbreaker to a pin for Shannon. An average match.
In the back, Undertaker exits Steph's office, smiling.
Benoit, in red tights with wolverine head (with FOOTAGE!), and the APA, both in black "APA" tights with cards, vs. Bashams, both in leather pants, with steel chairs, and ATrain, in black undies with red crests. Nick Patrick still wears the blue. Trainwreck to a pin for ATrain. Post-match beatdown on Bradshaw. Average match. I guess Farooq really WAS injured.
Brock in black undies with butt-ribcage, wearing the WWE TItle, vs. Paul London (already in the ring), in blue fullcuts with red stripes and red "L". Brock cuts a promo about being indignant. Wait - you let Rey slip-in a "damn", but you bleep "balls"? Henber the Younger refs. Squishy-squash. Post-match Spanky comes out to save Paul from a destroying, but gets himself done-in. Then Taker, now in black vest with the chain hanging from his neck, is out, talking. Apparantly now the title match is a "Biker Chain Match".
In the back, Josh talks to Chavo. Chavo is angry.
Chavo, in No-Mercy tshirt and yellow tights with white blades, calls-out BigShow, in black sportscoat, white shirt, and khakis. Mike Sparks is out, apparently to act as referee. BigShow by countout. WTF? Oh, post-match Chavo brings-out Eddie, driving a "Central Sewage" tank truck (typically used for cleaning-out septic tanks, if I know my trucks). C'mon, Chewie, wave, damnit! YOU guess what happens (visions of Austin's beer-hosing and Angle's milk-hosing should give you an appropriate idea, should your imagination be severely lacking). I hope the Connecticut environmental people aren't too concerned about the improper disposal of wastewater.
Overall: This show fell flat. The sewage-spraying was unnecessary (and it doesn't even look the right consistancy, unless they got it from a cheese-processing or other dairy-producing plant). Why can't you Connecticut'ers represent with the Cosplay'ing? I need more beer.
I get off a Thursday for the first time in months...and I get this?
It's sad, because I was almost thinking about skipping my Tuesday night class to go see Smackdown here in Cincy, but this show killed any chance of me wanting to go.
The Good - I like the build of the Bashams so far and any time Bradshaw gets laid out, I'm happy. I'm not a huge fan of A-Train, but he looked good tonight and he really needed that win to be taken seriously at all.
- Ultimo Dragon and Tajiri on my TV bringing the kicking goodness.
- Matt's commentary is great...but c'mon guys, throw Zach a token win or no one's gonna care about him. Even Spike wins once in a while.
- Nice promos by Cena and Angle.
The Bad - McMahons, get off my fucking TV. Who the fuck wants this match? Who the fuck thought this would sell a PPV? I'm predicting lowest buys of the year for No Mercy.
- Well, even Eddy can't shine a turd. On one hand, it IS nice to see Eddy dominant in the end segment, and hopefully it is a sign that the company is serious about a ME push, but...a shit truck? I just felt bad for everyone involved in this. I hate Big Show, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone. This hurts Big Show MUCH more than it helps Eddy.
- Taker squashes everything [yawn]...remember when the FBI started to exhibit midcard dominance and were "whacking" stars every week? Now the only time you see them is Velocity or being Taker's personal prags.
- Apparently Paul London is quite good...I would've at least liked to have seen one or two bits of offense from him.
(edited by astrobstrd on 9.10.03 2223) Ph-nglui mgwl'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl.
What is really said is I've looked back twice and haven't missed anything...I've had to listen to it. This is probably the worst SD of the year. This gets the golden CRAPPER award. No, EDDY TRUCK PUNS INTENDED!
(edited by jwrestle on 9.10.03 2010)
Banned Once! The independant thought alarm went off, knew to much about b*tching.
If I have to sit through acting and dialogue as bad as the McMahon segment, I fully expect everybody involved to get naked and into some serious XXX action. Except I have no desire to see any of these people naked, much less actually having sex.
Thanks for coming, Ultimo!
Thanks for coming, Zach!
Thanks for debuting, Paul!
The one good part of the sewage segment was Tazz's comment on Eddie's "cousin"..."Oh, the deaf one. It's sad." That totally cracked me up.
Linda & Steph & Vince & Sable - Mmm. Linda. Mmm. Her mic skills make me wince. Sigh! Those were some nice pumps she had on, though. Steph is out. Bad choice of outfit. Vince is out. Haw, I love him. Sable is out. Channel flip. Please get that disgusting skank off of my TV. HA HA! "From what I hear, you offer your services very freely." Linda can't pronounce hard consonants. What's up with that? Sucker punch (sucker kick?) to Linda. Boo! Hiss! Clothesline to Steph. Exit. Didn't show the kiss. For this, I am glad.
Tajiri vs. Ultimo Dragon - Rey on commentary. Okay match. Not as good as I expect from the JB & UD. 619 to Tajiri.
Steph - Linda will be in her corner. Wow. I love Linda, but what use is she in Steph's corner?
Taker vs. Chuck w. FBI - Okay match. Taker squashes the entire world post-match.
Vince & Sable & Paul London - I can't get over how sick Sable makes me. Match for Paul vs. Brock for the strap. Oh, boy.
Big Show - Eh.
Zach - Welcome back!
Big Show vs. Orlando Jones - Squash. Sigh.
Eddie - I love when he rants and raves in Spanish. God, that's GREAT! Big Show righteously kicks his ass.
Kurt Angle vs. John Cena (Rap Battle) - I. Cannot. Stand. John. Cena. And not in that bad-guy-heel way, either. In that change-the-channel-like-I-do-when-Sable-is-on way. Blah. Pointless rap battle, even though some of the raps were amusing.
Shannon Moore vs. Zach Gowan - I really enjoyed this one. Shannon & Zach pulled off some very impressive moves. Matt Fact - Matt likes portabella mushrooms. Hee. So do I, Matt. "Zach is favoring that leg." Michael Cole, you are so incredibly stupid sometimes.
Chris Benoit & APA vs. A-Train & Basham Brothers - Decent match, even if Bradshaw & A-Train were involved. What happened to Farooq? Decent match. A-Train actually looked a bit impressive.
Brock Lesner vs. Paul London - Squash. Spanky runs down. Squash. Taker comes down. Brock runs. No Mercy match is now a Biker Chain Match. Oh, boy.
Chavo & Big Show - Call out. Big Show pimps down the ramp in his shiny new outfit. Hey, Show cleans up real nice! Who knew? Win for Show by countout. Viva la rassssssssssta! Eddie is out with the sewage truck. Golly. Can't wait to see this. Show gets the hose of chocolate milk. The Guererros leave in triumph.
Overall? Poor show. The effort is appreciated, per usual. But...I flipped between SD and reruns of Croc Hunter Diaries, and each time I found myself lingering longer at the Australia Zoo. Maybe next week!
The thing is, I think there were enough good parts to the show that you could have made a good show out of it. But they were in all the wrong places and surrounded by McMAHON-A-MANIA!!! the whole night.
I didn't see much of the show becuase I was turned off by the 20-minute opening McMahon orgy of suck. And then I saw the money shot of that segment on Jimmy Kimmel.
Tajiri wins a squash. Weird. He squashes Ultimo. Weirder. If this was seven years ago, Tajiri would have ten belts dragging the floor behind him like a wedding limo. So why book Ultimo to be squashified in a non-title match?
And then I turned to the end and caught Latino Fleet. Why did we see Show crying like that? Not pissed, not in shock. He was almost blubbering. Bewildering. Befuddling. Bemusing.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
This was one of the most boring, sleep inducing shows I've seen. I didn't see the first run so I watched the repeat, which I do many times and I was nodding off and wanting it to end quickly.
-McMahon's/Sable crap-o-rama- This angle and SHOW needs more McMahon's I guess. Why hire back Sable (long term contract I heard no less blah), she looks outdated and useless. Speaking of useless that what this segment is as it goes on for 20 minutes. Please end... More stipulations whoever quits is GONE, maybe they can join Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler! Oh wait that was a complete bullsh*t angle with a bullsh*t follow-up of a stipulation with non-wrestlers. But this storyline has non-wrestlers in a bullsh*t angle. I'm sure we should ALL believe them that they will follow p on it. riiiiight.
-Tajiri vs. Ultimo- After sitting through 20 minutes of the first segment. I couldn't really get into this. This being 3 minutes long didn't help either.
-Undertaker vs. Pulumbo - I pulled a Meltzer (not proud at all) but I nodded off during the previous ad/steph backstage and came too seeing a replay of Undertaker defeating Pulumbo. What I read match went 2 full minutes, damn... I see Vince/Sable backstage so I run to the sink and splash my face with cold water. Come on NHS Wake up! And I come back to
-BigShow vs. Jordan - in a 90 second match.. What more can be said.
-Cena/Angle rap-off- rap off didn't come off too good. Cena's words had a lot more sting to them then Angles. Crowd wasn't really responding to Kurt's stuff... Good physical encounter between the two afterwards.
-Moore vs. Gowen- The ONLY segment that was worth anything on this 2-hour show was this one. I still cringe at Zach's sicko bumps like when he was suplex into the turnbuckle and dropping scary down. Good 5-minute match, at least the guys were moving... Matt was pretty good on commentary, which is still one of the most surprising thing of the last 18 months, I had no idea they sold personality in a bottle but Matt sure drank it when he got Mattitude last year. Too bad Matt couldn't buy "Push in a bottle"
-Albert/Bashams vs. Benoit/APA- After the tips from a wieners last week I couldn't wait too enjoy a Basham match and knowing the Doug has snug tighter BUT the Bashams came out in matching tights (Damn You). Farooq got plastered with a chair outside, which looked legit in my eyes. Heels beating on the faces majority of the time with pretty uninspired offense and match overall.
-Lesner vs. London- Did the bell even ring on this? Well another lets put a kid who doesn't look like he’s all juiced up in there so can get his ass handed to him. That'll teach him... Spanky comes out but he forgets he's a worthless undersized jobber as well she he gets tossed aside. Thank gawd for "Real" men like Undertaker he can handle Brock.
-BigShow vs. Chavo- BigShow wins by countout but Eddie comes out with a septic truck. Eddie makes sure to fully explain in great detail on what he's going to do (what is he a villain in Batman). BigShow is no Bruce Wayne so he can't figure out how to get out of this situation... A loved the Angle milk truck thing, the set up, the singing, Angle going crazy. Makes it one of the most memorable "Sport entertainment" that I can remember. This one seemed forced and stupid and a poor retake of the Austin Appreciation. One saving grace was Tazz's commentary ripping on Cole for repeating what Tazz just said when Eddie first came out "IT'S A! IT'S A! Truck!", "Wow, Good Call Cole". Also Tazz saying "Oh, the deaf one. It's sad" after the driver no sold Eddie asking him to wave.
-OtherStuff- So much McMahon "goodness" backstage... Eddie gets attacked by bigshow... Zach enters the arena.
-Line of the Night: TAZZ "Eddie coming out in some sort of a truck".. COLE "It's a, It's A! Truck!".. TAZZ "Good call Cole" -Sign of the Night: "1918" -3Stars of the Night: 1)Gowen. 2)Tazz. 3)Hardy. - Yup the color commentary and the guest commentary guy are 2 and 3 Stars of the night, that's how bad this show was.
Horrible show in every level. I'm usual on the Liz camp with the "Appreciate the effort from the workers", but with the exception of Zach-Moore there seemed to be very little effort needed especially considering the matches were clicking in under 3-minutes... This show wasn't just one of the worst SD, not just one of the worst wrestling shows of the year, But one of the most boring 2 hours I had to sit through, period! LoL @ PartsUnkown, hope Smackdown lived up to all expectations now that you got to see it.
Ahhh, you know it's funny. Usually, most folks don't want to read the spoilers, because they obviously want to be surprised. This wasn't the week to skip them, I believe. I didn't see the whole show, but then again, I didn't need to. I feel sorry for those of you who did.
After a quarter of a century on this planet, there's two things I know for sure... 1)I'm smarter than I was a year ago. 2)WWE isn't. 1200 bitches and counting....
After reading the spoilers and thinking 'ehhh', I totaly forgot to watch ... literally ... What's even worse is that I was watching Extreme Makeover and forgot that Smackdown was on. Now that's sinking pretty low.
"This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there." -- Jeff Spicoli, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
We need to focus on the positive of the show. Now that Paul London and Spanky have come together on TV we have The World's Cutest Tag Team (TM). I mean seriously, with Paul looking like Tom Cruise circa "Legend" and Spanky- a living, breathing character from a shojo anime- they are freakin' adorable. They should come out with arms full of puppies or something.
I might not be Justin, but I think the answer is obvious. Make way for The Bullet! First Foley, then Hogan, then Piper, Dusty is lurking about. It's obvious WWE is planning on instituting a Seniors Division!