Official Results from IWS "V" Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Sid Vicious shocked the wrestling world last night making a startling return to active wrestling in Montreal, Quebec, Canada during the fifth anniversary show of the Internet Wrestling Syndicate. Sid Vicious teamed with Pierre Carl Ouellet to win a ten team tag rumble to a thunderous reception by the IWS faithful. Sid Vicious had been inactive since January 2001 when he snapped his leg in a grisly accident during a WCW pay-per-view. Many people assumed that he would never wrestle again.
The IWS fifth anniversary show, simply called "V", began with le Syndicat de Lutte Internet, Viking and Damian, defending their IWS tag title belts against the New Breed, DJ Sick and Hellstorm. The SLI have a reputation for brutalizing tag teams that speak English. Last night, they proved that they have no problem being equally stiff with a francophone team from Quebec City like the New Breed. While DJ Sick and Hellstorm proved their skill, the SLI continued their dominance winning after 10:46 with their trademark finisher "Le Tueur des Policiers."
In what many people are calling the match of the night, Kevin Steen defeated his long-time rival, the baby-oil phenom EXcesS69, in a match that combined technical wrestling, high flying and the bad temper thuggery that is quickly becoming a Kevin Steen trademark. As a result of a stipulation agreed to by Commissioner Joseph FitzMorris before the match by beating EXcesS69, which Steen did in 14:39 with a package pile driver, he earned the right to a shot at the IWS title.
In a rare man-animal inter-species match, Beef Wellington was able to overcome a bear. Mind you, Beef was only able to pin the bear after the ursine grappler was distracted by a timely run-in by a three-legged cow. Beef won the match in 5:53 with his crowd-pleasing ass punch.
To the shocked approval of the crowd, El Generico stunned Pierre Carl Ouellet with a flash pin to steal PCO's IWS title after 4:38 (and after a timely distraction by Kevin Steen.) But El Generico and the crowd did not have long to celebrate, as Kevin Steen ambushed El Generico declaring that he was taking his title shot right away. Despite a valiant effort by the masked Mexican, Kevin Steen won the match with the package pile driver after 53 seconds to claim the IWS title.
The new team of Sid Vicious and Pierre Carl Ouellet won the ten team tag rumble beating the teams of the Flying Hurricanes, 2.0, the Masked Assassins, Dan Paysan and Tomassino, Dolla Bill and Big Larry aka T-Unit, Los Latinos, Fred le Merveille and Marc le Grizzly, and the newly reformed team of Crazy Crusher and Nightmare Manson, Extreme Revolution. Manson came to the ring disguised as the Motivator of Madness, Crusher's manager, revealing his true identity to help Crusher eliminate Fred le Merveille. The only time to have any sort of success against PCO and Sid were the Kid Kamikaze Experience featuring Kurt Lauderdale, with Kurt Lauderdale measuring up surprisingly well to Sid Vicious. In the end, experience triumphed over desire as Sid Vicious and PCO used the old Quebecker's finisher, the assisted Cannonball to polish Kurt off and win the Rumble at 32:14.
As the Green Phantom has said the IWS began in a pit of ultraviolence. “V” ended with a bit of that old ultraviolence with five men who helped start the IWS: the Green Phantom and his partner Sexxxy Eddy, the Arsenal and his partner Evil Ninja, and special guest referee, PCP Crazy F’N Manny. It was an old school IWS death match that saw the wrestlers break out light tubes, glass and fire, in an insane display equal parts courage and sadism. The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy beat Evil Ninja and the Arsenal in 19:02 after the Green Phantom Phantasmed Evil Ninja through a burning pane of glass.
The next IWS show is Hardcore Heat, Saturday, July 10th at La Spag, 2915 Ontario Est, two blocks from Metro Frontenac. Doors open at 8:00 pm, IWS Bloodstream begins at 8:30 pm, show starts at 9:00 pm. Tickets are fifteen dollars. For information about the show e-mail email@example.com or visit the Internet Wresting Syndicate at their web-site: http://www.syndicatewrestling.com/. For information about IWS merchandise & DVDs, our wholesale prices or our customer referral program e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or order from http://xrv.com/its/. For details on La Spag please visit http://www.unites.uqam.ca/spag/.
Y'know, all I can hope is that this is some really, really deep subtle humor. However, let's pretend that you want a real answer to your questions. Why would Triple H (if he were a real person and not a character)