I'd say 'Spoilers' in the title, but really, what's to spoil here. It was an hour and a half of gun fights with a little sex and over the top acting thrown in. There's the 'spoilers' for you.
On that note, this was fucking awesome. Every scene featured a gun. We even had our hero comforting a new born baby by showing it how a gun works. Yeah, no kidding. This was like a huge commercial for the NRA, almost. I'm shocked that they didn't wheel out Chuck Heston in here somewhere.
Back when they were casting CASINO ROYALE, I remember two stories about why they didn't pick Clive Owen as James Bond. One was that he wanted too much money and the other was that the didn't think he was 'right' for the part. This film proves the later wrong in every possible way. The stunt work was incredible from the chase scenes to the hilarious gun fight in the sky. Clive would make a killer Bond (even though I did warm up to (James 'Blond') Daniel Craig.)
Paul Giamatti also gives a good performance as a hired gun trying to get the baby. Any time you get to see an academy award nominated actor feeling up a corpse and getting off on it is pure cinematic gold. He does this while talking to his wife on the phone, mind you, which is just wrong.
Monica Belucci is what she is... a lactating prostitute with a heart of gold. Her boobs are kinda small for this though, so THAT was the most unbelievable part of the film... CRAZY!
Even with the nudity, sex, and extreme violence in this film, I question the R rating. Right from the opening shot of Clive Owen eating a carrot, you know this is all just a live action cartoon with him as Bugs Bunny and Giamatti as Elmer Fudd. The violence is so over the top that even the most sheltered, upity old old person who'd have a heart attack just looking at a gun would laugh and enjoy this. Personally, I'd say if your kids wanna see this, go with them and turn off your brain.
Best fun I've had in a movie all year... and I wasn't even drunk.
Caught this over the weekend. If you've seen the trailer, I can promise you that this film delivers exactly what it promises - shoot some guns, see some boobs. If that sounds like your cup of tea, you won't be disappointed. Fun fact for the sex scene; according to IMDB, both Clive Owen and Monica Bellucci are 44 years old.
I am still stunned about who the real Big Bad is. It must have taken five minutes for me to get my jaw off the floor. I got done seeing Epitaph One, my question is who was the little girl? I am thinking it was Alpha after this episode I am not so sure.