So, it's been awhile since I have done one of these and since I am maybe, probably, who knows for sure going to let my Network subscription lapse I figured I'd fire one more random Saturday Night's Main Event off ... but holy crap there is so much to choose from now. Thirty-six freaking episodes and most of them have some random gem that I really want to check out. Hulk Hogan vs Bad News Brown episode #20. Hulk Hogan vs Mr Perfect episode #26. The Rockers vs The Brainbusters 2 out of 3 falls and Hogan defending against Lanny Poffo #24. I was waiting for more ECWs to pop up, but this is a treasure trove of goodies. A few of these episodes are misnumbered by the way. I might have to reup soon.
So, why did I pick this one? Because it has Sid in it and I really want to watch a Sid match since I started following him on Twitter. Dumbass. Probably.
I think this is episode #32, they have it as #30.
Sweet 90's intro. Vince McMahon is fired up. Bobby Heenan is by his side. They rundown the card.
The Mountie with Jimmy Hart make their way down to the ring. Here comes the Intercontiental Champion Rowdy Roddy Piper. Jimmy Hart steals the title from Piper and The Mountie poses with it. Piper gets distracted and The Mountie throws him to the floor. Mountie and Hart celebrate and Piper runs back in and hits them both. Quick cover only gets a two. Mountie bails to the floor. Jimmy Hart gives him a hug. Piper is outside and gives them the ole double noggin knocker. Piper throws Mountie in the ring and goes in after, but Hart holds his legs giving Mountie the chance to get the upper hand. Mountie in control but takes time to yell at the crowd and then goes for a splash, Piper gets the knees up and it is all Piper. He is on fire. Ref gets bumped and Mountie Pile Drives Piper.
The ref is down. Jimmy Hart grabs a cup of water surely to dump on the referee, but no the Mountie dumps it on Piper. Why did he do that? Oh here is the Shock Stick (cattle prod) and he applies it to Piper complete with over dubbed sound effects. Piper no sells this, and hits the Mountie. Hart is in the ring and he gets tossed out. Piper then hits Mountie with the Shock Stick, complete with sound effects, and it kills The Mountie dead. The referee wakes up and Piper gets the pin.
Piper takes off his Hot Rod shirt and reveals another shirt. He takes that off to reveal a shirt that says Shock Proof. Oh how clever.
We take you back to the Royal Rumble where Sid tosses Hogan who throws a tantrum and then pulls out Sid which gives Flair the win and the WWF Title in what was the best Rumble up until that point. Gorilla Monsoon is all over Justice for throwing Hogan out from behind.
Oh sweet Jack Tunney press conference. This is really awesome. Small room with some 'press'. Tunney is at the podium on his left is Hogan, Savage and Sid. On his right is Mean Gene, Piper and oldschool Undertaker. I wish I had a screen cap of this. Hogan is announced number one contender at WrestleMania 8. Sid is pissed, Hogan is relieved. Sid has words with the press afterwards, he is about to lose his shit.
Now we go to words with Sid from earlier tonight and he is calm and peaceful now and says sorry.
Undertaker with Paul Bearer gets the jobber entrance teams with Ric Flair with Mr Perfect who get a half entrance.
We come back from break and Sean Mooney is with Sid Justice and Hulk Hogan who will be teaming up.
Hulk Hogan has forgiven all. He is going to take the title back at WrestleMania, but tonight he and his buddy Sid are going to take care of business. Hogan is going to have his special little friend with him tonight.
Sid left the interview early and is headed to the ring to a mixed reaction, but mostly cheers. Here comes Hogan, oh and his surprise Brutus the Barber Beefcake his friend to the end. This is Brutus's return to ringside since the boat accident.
Sid and Hogan debate who is going to start the match. Hogan wants to, but Sid tells him otherwise. Sid and Flair start off. Lock up Flair rakes the eyes by Flair. His Irish Whip gets reversed and he gets sent to the corner and back body dropped. Hogan gets tagged in and does the same thing to Flair which brings in Taker. Who gets hip tossed. Sid gets tagged back in and I guess it is him and Taker who I never saw tag. Sid beats Undertaker up. Sid then tags in Hogan who beats on Taker some more then Flair runs in so Hogan takes them both out, and gives the ear to all four sides.
Taker and Flair regroup. Taker back in Hogan gets control tags in Sid and some double team on Taker hits the mark. Sid sends Taker to the ropes, but Taker hits him with a punch to the throat. Flair in now and they double team Sid. Flair makes a cover, but Hogan breaks it up. Referee kicks Hogan out and Justice gets a double atomic drop from Undertaker and Flair in what might be the weirdest double team move and pairing ever. Another pin and Hogan breaks it up again. Another double team effort, maybe a suplex but Hogan is in to break that up too. Then Sid and Hogan double team Flair and then double boot Taker to the floor. Hogan gives the ear to all four sides while Sid just watches Hogan hog the glory and shakes his head.
Back from commercial and Taker catches Sid from behind. Flair tags in and chops Sid in the corner. Flair backs off bringing the referee with him which allows Undertaker to choke Sid in the corner. Undertaker tags in and goes to the top while Flair holds Sids from behind, and I am shocked. Sid didn't move. Taker's punch hit the mark. Flair back in to double team Sid, but a double noggin knocker stops that. Hogan gets tagged in and house is cleaned. Paul Bearer on the apron gets hit by Hogan. Flair attacks the leg from behind and the Figure Four is applied. They are in the center of the ring. Hogan reaching for the tag, but Sid's back is turned. Hogan gets out of the hold and crawls to Sid who is now just standing there watching. Brutus pleads for Justice to help Hogan while he gets worked over. Flair goes to the top and gets slammed off. Hogan crawls to Sid's corner and Sid won't tag in. Taker and Flair tag in and out until Hogan gets chopped in the corner by Flair and then he Hulks up, but Taker comes in and stops it, oh but for only so long. Hogan hits a double clothesline.
Hogan again in makes it to his corner and Sid just stands there and wipes his brow. He then half heartedly holds out his hand and then leaves the ring. Beefcake tries to bring Justice back and then backs down when Justice threatens to punch him.
Hogan is being double teamed in the ring. The referee tries to regain control, but Flair throws him down. The bell has been rung. DQ finish. The double team continues. Beefcake can't handle it and enters the ring. The double team stops as Taker and Flair stare at Beefcake and his wild mullet and his barely attached pants/leggings, Divas aren't even allowed to wear that little these days. This allows Hogan the chance to get back up and send Undertaker and Flair back to jobbberville. Did Undertaker ever get a piece of Hogan the next time around and no sell everything? He should have. It is so weird to see him treated like Hogan canon fodder. Hogan wins. Beefcake is brave. Sid is scum.
Sean Mooney is in the back with Sid. Sid tells Mooney to shut up. With friends like Hulk Hogan Sid needs no enemies. Hogan got the title shot at Wrassle Mania. Sid is the man who rules the world.
Hogan and his coke buddy head to the back as Hogan yells for Justice.
Mean Gene is with Hulk and Beefcake. Sid proved he is nothing but a liar and knows nothing about friendship man. Sid turned his back on not only himself, but all the little Hulkamaniacs. Thank God for Brutus the Barber Beefcake.
Beefcake talks about lying in the hospital. Hogan was there for Beefcake when he was in the hospital. Beefcake remembers his face being in a million pieces and looking at Hogan laying next to him(?) and Hogan's heart was pumping all that blood into Beefcake's veins (!?!) and Beefcake knew it then he was going to be okay man ... What the Fuck?
Hogan talks some more, but I think everyone is too creeped out at this point.
Jesus Christ that was weird.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan is already in the ring with Sgt Slaughter as his partner as they take on The Beverleys with The Genius Lanny Poffo Duggan starts off with Blake. Beau hits Duggan with Poffo's clipboard and takes advantage. Sort of hot tag to Slaughter. This match is a total mess. All four men are in. Duggan is about to send the referee out of the ring and then stops for some reason. Slaughter has Poffo's clipboard thing and nails a Beverly with it then sends him into Duggan for the clothesline and the Sarge gets the pin. Shitty match.
Clip of Jake torturing Savage and then slapping Elizabeth.
Jake cuts a promo promising that if Elizabeth shows her face there will be more man on woman violence.
Jake the Snake Roberts comes to the ring, without Damian.
Macho Man Randy Savage is in the back with Mean Gene. Savage is feeling insane tonight. Jake is making him insane.
Savage charges the ring like a madman. Jake bails to the floor. Savage hops the ropes and is right behind him. He hammers on Jake and sends his head into the steal post. He kicks Jake in the ribs and Jake runs off. Savages catches him and runs him into another ring post. Savage then rubs Jake's face into the ground. Jake gets into the ring and Savage is throwing chairs. Savage gets into the ring and chokes Jake with his foot. He then slams his elbow into Jake's throat. Jake has a broken nose. A thumb to the eye buys Jake some time. He throws Savage outside the ring over the top and Savage takes a wild bump. Savage gets back in and Jake tosses him over the top again and Savage hits the steel ring barrier. Jake then slams Savage's hard into the post. He picks Savage up again and slams his head once more into the ring post. Jake checks his broken nose and we go to a break.
Savage crawls back into the ring. Jake hits a DDT. Savage is done, but Jake doesn't go for the pin instead he sits in the corner and watches Savage struggle to get to his feet. Jake catches him and hits a short clothesline and stalks Savage while talking shit. Jake sets up another DDT, but Savage back body drops him to the floor. Savage goes to the top and hits a double axe handle all the way down to the floor. They crash into the barrier. Savage rolls Jake in and goes to the top and he hits the elbow for the three.
Savage isn't done. He goes back to the top for another elbow, but there is a small army of referees and officials blocking his way. They try and talk him off, but Savage leaps over them and hits another elbow. Savage goes outside for the ringbell, Jake crawls away. Officials stop Savage from chasing. He threatens them all with violence. Savage the calls out Miss Elizabeth. The crowd is happy. Liz is happy. Jake lurks in the back and says this isn't over. This was a very violent match for this era WWF. We are out of time folks see you next time.
Okay, this was a pretty crappy card. Closing match was good and the Jack Tunney press conference and weird Brutus Beefcake promo are all worth a watch. Undertaker being treated like a common midcarder was strange. This was a lot of Hogan at his worst. Hopefully, I choose better next time.
So wait...because Shawn Michaels was being an obnoxious jerk on TV means that he's not really born-again and he and WWE are just working the internet through Confidential and the WWE.com interview? That's so stupid.