How about this for a speedy review...DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE. Now I knew that it was going to be dark, but even I was amazed at the glumness of it all. The third main character's storyline (the gay friend) was boring as hell, and Van Der Beek was not convincing. Jessica Biel and Shannyn Sossamon were hot, but even their hotness is not enough to warrant a viewing. Skip this movie and see Signs again.
"Oh would you stop being all stealthy and just get in the truck"- Tom Servo
I thought it was decent, but then again I'm a Bret Easton Ellis fan. The characters are moral vacuums, much as in "American Psycho", but that's kind of the point. Think of it as a completely pitch black comedy instead of a college drama/romance and it plays out much better.
The montage of Victor's European vacation is absolutely brilliant and the backwards portions of the movie, while admitidly gimmicky, were well done.
"Words to memorize. Words hypnotize. Words make my mouth exercise. Words all fail the magic prize. Nothing I can say when I'm in your thighs."
I don't know to give a lion a vasectomy would be cruel and they are endangered. So I have a better idea. Next time the lions are out drinking or are watching lion porn the lady from the Born Free Federation can put a condom on the male lion.