Hey all! Freeway420 here with the Royal Rumble preview thread! Here, we will commemorate and celebrate the Royal Rumble, which is the 16th edition of the event!
THE CARD Stepmother vs. Stepdaughter Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson PREDICTION: This will SUCK. But, the feud will end. Torrie wins when Al returns from the dead or something.
World Tag Team Titles The Regal Storm [c] vs. The Dudley Boyz PREDICTION: Duds regain titles. Heels whine.
For Rumble Spot Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show PREDICTION: Lesnar.
WWE Championship Kurt Angle [c] vs. Chris Benoit PREDICTION: Benoit (only to drop title to Angle at No Way Out)
World Championship Triple H [c] vs. Scott Steiner PREDICTION: HHH.
The 16th Annual Royal Rumble RAW: Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, Rosey, Jamal, Test, Chris Nowinski, Maven, Christian, Kane, Rob Van Dam, Batista, Booker T, Goldust, Jeff Hardy SD: one of Brock/Big Show, Chavo Guerrero, A-Train, Rey Mysterio, Rikishi, Tajiri, Edge, Matt Hardy, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, John Cena, Bill DeMott, B2, Eddy Guerrero and one mystery entrant PREDICTION: If Brock is in Rumble, Brock. If Brock is not in Rumble, Booker T.
NOTE: This thread will be updated with pointless trivia & tidbits, plus the remaining SmackDown Rumblers once they're announced!
(edited by Freeway420 on 17.1.03 1412) Flames: 13-18-6-3 Current Coach: Darryl Sutter [3-0-1-0] Movie Of the Week: About Schmidt
Dawn Marie v Torrie: Victoria and Trish work their asses off for months only to see these 2 given the highest profile womens story in donkeys. Honestly couldnt care less about the result. Al wilson's ghost comes down and powerbombs the pair of them through the spanish announce table as the IWC lets out a collective cheer at what hopefully marks the end of this crap.
Brock v Show: The fight goes over the 5 minute threshold resulting in Big Show needing a nap. Brock shows cerebral assasin like cunning to take advantage and cover the sleeping oaf.
Dudleys v Storm/Regal: Storm and Regal win through morley interference. JR tries and fails to hide his excitement at the rise and rise of the greatest tag team in history.
Angle v Benoit: Angle cos it makes no sense to take the belt off him.
HHH v Steiner: HHH ends up being more interested in trying to hook up with Al Wilsons body than the match in the early going. Nonetheless Steiner focuses to much on removing H's clothing to take advantage and Triple H makes the cover quick before they both do themselves a nasty.
Royal Rumble: If Brock doesnt win this I will be utterly astounded. Jericho and HBK both go far but one knocks tother out resulting in match at No Way Out. I take Jeff to edge out Rosey and Jamal in the battle for most blown spots in a match
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" Benjamin Franklin
Stepmother vs. Stepdaughter Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson PREDICTION: This feud will never end! Torrie never loses, EVER. Watching Torrie's attempts at a personality/acting got old months ago.
World Tag Team Titles The Regal Storm [c] vs. The Dudley Boyz PREDICTION: Dudleyz lose but at some point Regal Storm go through a table.
For Rumble Spot Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show PREDICTION: Brock
WWE Championship Kurt Angle [c] vs. Chris Benoit PREDICTION: Kurt Angle
World Championship Triple H [c] vs. Scott Steiner PREDICTION: Who is less injured? I'll take Steiner.
The 16th Annual Royal Rumble RAW: Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, Rosey, Jamal, Test, Chris Nowinski, Maven, Christian, Kane, Rob Van Dam, Batista, Booker T, Goldust, Jeff Hardy SD: one of Brock/Big Show PREDICTION: Brock Lesnar
Dawn vs. Torrie. Ugh! IF Victoria came out and raped both at the end then maybe, maybe it would be good. Winner: Not the fans
Regal/Storm vs. Dudley Boyz: The Black Hole of Suck wins another match against another team that is extremely over for no reason. Winner: Regal/Storm
Brock s/ Big Show: If the writers were smart, Big Show would win, so they could set up Raw as the main event for Wrestlemania, becaus if Eric loses the main event spot for Wrestlemania, he should be fired on Monday. Of course, this makes sense and Brock's no jobbing is almost as bad as HHH's. Winner: Brock
Kurt vs. Benoit. Who ever wins deserves it. When is the last time you heard those words. Winner: The Fans
HHH vs. Stiener: If we go with the theory that Eric has to do something to shake up Raw expect him to get the title off of HHH. Logically, Eric would see HHH with the title was a terrible move, now he uses one of his old WCW pals to get it off of him. It would lead to HHH tweener turn and Booker T vs. Steiner at WM. But since, HHH won't job and Steiner's wrestling is not working out. Winner: HHH
Royal Rumble: Eric and Steph should both give speeches to each crew about how important WM Main Event and how much it means for the locker rooms and themselves. Of course, none of this will happen. It will be cool to some of the guys who haven;t worked together in almost a year wrestle plus Jericho/HBK can't suck. Its too bad, Brock winning this thing is a for gone conclusion or this would be the most wide open Rumble in years. Winner: Brock
A Fan- I hope for at least one surprise for the Rumble like a certain Rattlesnake.
Ive seen these on the net before, let me try my hand at it!
Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson What should happen: WWE bookers should do a raindance, in hope a huge blizzard comes in time for this match, rendering the electrical equipment useless for this match, only for their highly paid technicians to fix it in time for the next match.
What will happen: Tori and Dawn's Grudge match will be a 20 minute wrestling match! Al Rises from the dead, Dawn used foul play on him or something stupid. Makes amends with his little girl. While Dawn Marie announces her engagement to the Fink On Smackdown. Al Wilson/Torrie vs. Dawn Marie/Howard Finkel is announced for No Way Out.
World Tag Team Titles The Regal Storm [c] vs. The Dudley Boyz What should happen: Regal and Storm with a victory, and a great six month title reign. Somehow, since the gimmick is dead, the Dudleys hint a breakup, and a real feud set up going into Wrestlemania.
What will happen: Dudleys win by partner miscommunication and win the straps. Regal and Storms head pops up at a farm in China.
For Rumble Spot Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show
What should happen: Brocks (Insert body part here) is injured before hand yet he defies the odds and wins the match in under 5 minutes. Brock is attacked again after the match, the announcers heavily sell this, questioning the probability of him appearing in the royal rumble.
What will happen: Brocks (Insert body part here) is injured before hand yet he defies the odds and wins the match in over 15 minutes. Brock is attacked again after the match, which the announcers errrr conveniently errrrr forget.
WWE Championship Kurt Angle [c] vs. Chris Benoit
What should happen: We are all treated to a five star 30 minute match. Angle goes over questionably, setting up feud post WM where Benoit wins a title, and keeps it more then a day.
What will happen: After hearing that Kurt and Benoit will have a 30 minute match Triple H realizes that there is one competition left for him and Stiener to try. That is Pulling small Japanese cars with thier teeth. Vince don't like the idea, but a teary eyed Steph convinces him to allow it, or else Hunter's career will be in shambles. Vince agrees and Benoit and Angle are forced to put 30 minutes of a match into 10 minutes. Benoit wins, but losses the next night on Smackdown to Angle.
World Championship Triple H [c] vs. Scott Steiner
What Should Happen: I have nooooooo clue
What will happen: HHH wins with pick and shovel. Steiner starts a career altering feud the next night with Steven Richards. See HHH looks out for the little guys!
The 16th Annual Royal Rumble RAW: Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels, Rosey, Jamal, Test, Chris Nowinski, Maven, Christian, Kane, Rob Van Dam, Batista, Booker T, Goldust, Jeff Hardy SD: one of Brock/Big Show
What Should happen: First of all it should be 60 minutes! HBK/Jericho almost go the distance. HBK tosses out Y2J, and is about to toss out an injured Brock, when Y2J interferes, and Brock tosses out Y2J. Angle vs. Brock, Jericho vs. HBK with a great 2 month build which a bitter Y2J becoming a top heel at the expense of an aging HBK (No Turns please), whoooo....its wrestlemania time baby!
What will happen: It's a cheapened 30 minute rumble! Jericho gets thrown out 3 minutes in by Maven, King and Ross have there errrr giggels. Booker, RVD and HBK all win, when thier feet touch the floor at the same time. A 3 way is set up at NWO, in which another screwball finish ensues ensues. Leading up to another 3 way the week before mania in which RVD wins and is defeted at WM by the Game.
Torrie v Dawn: A welcome end to this fued arrives as Torrie beats down Dawn with the help of Al, they admit it was all a set up on Dawn
Dudleys v Regal/Storm: Regal and Storm win after Morley interference. Lawler comes down and throws Morley into the ring for a table 3-D, sets up Lawler getting his ass kicked (replaced?) on Raw
Lesnar v Big Show: Lesnar wins over the Big Show, F-5 to Paul will happen too
Benoit v Angle: Angle wins after failed interference but he will grab the tights or put the feet on the ropes or something like that
Steiner v HHH: Trips just got the belt back, Steiner is not getting over, HHH wins with the help of Flair or a sledgehammer, or maybe even a rubber chicken
Rumble: Brock or Booker are the favorites, both make sense, but Brock may need to win it more as he has to get around the no return match clause. Booker may also be a smart choice as they can build towards wrestlemania, and steph can always give Brock the rematch he wants (have him get the big bucks in stephs ear or something)
Thank you Lord....for giving me the strength....to beat the crap out of that man and damn near kill him with my bare hands! -David Alan Grier discussing post boxing match interviews
A Fan said: Royal Rumble: Eric and Steph should both give speeches to each crew about how important WM Main Event and how much it means for the locker rooms and themselves. Of course, none of this will happen. It will be cool to some of the guys who haven;t worked together in almost a year wrestle plus Jericho/HBK can't suck. Its too bad, Brock winning this thing is a for gone conclusion or this would be the most wide open Rumble in years. Winner: Brock ---
You know, I expect them to have some sort of speech..it can set up all sorts of things, demanding that their wrestlers work together against the other brand, and get pissed at wrestlers when at the end the 'brand alliances' fall apart.
It also suddenly dawned on me..Brock winning the Rumble might be a forgone conclusion but either 1- they swerve us or 2- it happens in such a fashion that it isn't all that straight forward after all. I am looking forward!
As far as predicting..I say: Torrie, Regal/Storm, Lesnar, Angle (great match with storyline finish) and HHH (average match with storyline finish)
Dawn-Torrie: Torrie wins in less than 2 minutes to end this horrible angle. Probable Rating: -*** to DUD
Lance/Regal vs. Dudley Boys: Dudleys will win, because one team having the titles for more than 2 weeks is just more than the fans can stand! Yeah! Predicted Rating: Probably **ish
Scott Steiner vs. HHH: Steiner wins. They will severely piss off viewers if HHH wins another one with kick-wham-pedigree. Give the fans a babyface blowoff for once. Predicted Rating: Who knows
Lesnar vs. Big Show: Man this'll suck. Lesnar better win, if they give this to The Big Slow I may have to protest watching again. Lesnar will win. Predicted Rating: DUD
Angle vs. Benoit: The only reason to order this show. Kurt needs to win here, although, they might give it to Benoit only to have him job it back to Angle at No Way Out. Predicted Rating: Should be in the **** area.
Rumble: I don't think Brock is going over here. My money is on Booker T. hah.
Torrie vs. Dawn- Dawn looks distraught. Torrie feels really bad for Dawn and WHAM! Dawn pulls the Marc Mero/Sable card and small packages Torrie for the win.
Dudleys vs. Storm/Regal- Dudleys win. Bischoff gives them numerous challenges on post RR Raw shows for their whining to VKM.
Brock vs. Big Show- Brock wins in 6-7 minutes with F-5. Paul eats F-5 as well.
Angle vs. Benoit- Angle wins, pushing Benoit back to feuding with Team Angle, leading to 6 man match at NWO (Benoit/Edge/Brock vs. Team Angle).
HHH vs. Steiner- Steiner wins to get short-term return on investment in Big Poppa Pump. HHH will have the title back by WM though.
Royal Rumble- Big Show comes out during RR, distracts Brock, leading to Brock elimination. Y2J steals the opportunity and wins the Rumble, last eliminating HBK. Y2J celebrates until glass breaks, and SCSA returns to hog the spotlight. Y2J will NOT have the title shot at WM, despite winning the Rumble.
The call is from heroism; will you accept the charges?
Torrie vs. Dawn Marie: Why the hell is this crap on my television? Pick: Raiders 35 Titans 13. Either that, or maybe someone from Southie snaps and Torrie and Dawn Marie joins Al in the final resting place.
Brock vs. Big Slug: Double DQ. Makes no sense, but hell, anything can happen in the WWF/E.
Regal/Storm vs. Dudleys: How are brass knucks illegal but tables legal? Oh well, Spike turns on his brothers from not saving him from Batista and helps Regal/Storm retain.
Evad Sullivan (c) vs. Max Muscle (Raw Title): Now, Max Muscle has been dominating this fued, however Evad breaks out the magic slippers and sings 'I Wanna Be, a Hulkamaniac' until Max goes on a roid rage. Evad Sullivan by DQ.
Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle (When God's Collide): If it doesn't get at least 35 minutes, fire everyone. This will be the one time where the internet will not be disappointed in Benoit losing, as it would build Angle up for Mania as a strong champ. Thus: Winner, and new WWE Champ, your God and Mine: Chris Benoit.
At this point, Nathan Jones makes an appearance, at which time the FBI will arrest him under the mistaken assumption he is Whitey Bulger in disguise.
Royal Rumble: It'll either be Lesnar or Michaels. Lesnar wins the Rumble, but Heyman begins the legal process to prohibit him from getting his prize because the stipulation was the winner of Big Slug/Lesnar would be in the Rumble, and since it was a Double DQ, no one won, thus Lesnar technically should not have been in the Rumble. Thus, Lesnar will have to overcome challenges for the next two months in order to gain the title match.
Please help control the McMahon population. Have your Triple H's spayed or neutered.
Torrie Wilson/Dawn Marie: I regret the day I ever thought this angle could be even remotely interesting, let alone unoffensive. This crap isn't worth a pick, but Torrie's going over.
Dudley Boyz/Commonwealth Connection: If you think Regal & Storm are losing the belts after only two weeks with them, preceding the biggest blowjob push of 2002 other than Teo's (yes, even more so than Brock's) then you're nuts. The question here is whether the Duds will be able to get revenge on Val & Uncle Eric, and whether they'll get another shot at them at Wrestlemania, which is when they *should* get them.
Brock Lesnar/Big Show: If they hadn't jobbed Brock to Big Show at Survivor Series and done the smart thing (using Benoit, not Show, to transition the belt to Angle) instead, a Big Show win here might actually be feasible, but since they didn't, it's not. Brock wins, but I don't think he wins the Rumble. There's more potential for an interesting storyline to the Brock/Angle feud if Brock has to earn his title shot less directly.
My Two Least Favorite People on the Planet: I was waffling on this one all month, and this past week's Raw would make you think that Teo is definitely retaining here. I think what happens here is highly dependent on how they book the Rumble. If Brock or Jericho is winning the Rumble, Teo retains. However, if Shawn wins the Rumble, then the WWF almost has to give it to Useless Lump of Steroids for the purpose of transitioning it to Jericho at No Way Out (and remember, Jericho and ULOS do have an issue). The WWF is not that smart, though, so Teo retains.
Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle: Not this time, guys, sorry. Angle is retaining. I'd bet the farm on it, kids. With the Rumble the way it is, the WWF is crazy not to give this one the half-hour it deserves, and Benoit's time will come. Maybe they'll feud him with a heel-turned-champ Edge after Edge beats Brock post-Mania?
The Royal Rumble: Here's the important reason why I think Brock is not winning this - they haven't played up the Brock/Show match as an opportunity for one of them to get a shot at the big prize, but rather as simply Brock after revenge. Instead, the story of the Rumble has been whether Shawn can duplicate victory as the #1 entrant - or whether Jericho can outpace him in that regard. The setup is exactly the same as 1995, even down to the timing of the question. The question is, will Jericho be another incarnation of the British Bulldog? If politics didn't exist, I'd say no, but since they do, I say yes, and pick Shawn to win.
SIGH. Ladies and gentlemen... it's time for the most ELECTRIFYING REFUTATION IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT HISTORY! I've put the Seanton Bomb in the same category as The People's Elbow, the W-O-R-M and sometimes the Swanton Bomb...