Women's Title: Beth Phoenix v Melina: I think Beth will get the win here after Rosa-ference. They should continue the trend of Beth being offended at Santino thinking that she needs help taking care of business in the ring.
ECW Championship: Jack Swagger v Matt Hardy: Management seems firmly behind Swagger, so there's no way they yank the rug from under his feet here. This should be a solid match.
WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy v Edge: If all the rumours are true, then Christian returns and Edge wins the title here. Sadly, this match has received next-to-no build with the Jeff attacker fiasco, but I still think they can deliver in the ring.
World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena v JBL: There's gotta be some sort of shenanigans or DQ finish that lets Cena keep the title. I don't see Shawn snapping on JBL just yet, so maybe he'll attack Cena postmatch or something.
Royal Rumble: Smackdown got the main event at WM last year, so I think Raw gets it this year. In order for that to happen, Randy Orton must win. Though how he weasels his way into the Rumble after kicking the boss's head in will be interesting.
Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame Cover up your face, you can't run the race The pace is too fast, you just won't last - "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
Wimmens title-Rosa costs Beth the title. How long till Beth catches Rosa and Santino in a compromising position?
ECW Title-Swagger retains with a mild amount of cheating. Foot on the ropes or somesuch.
WWE Championship-Jeff retains cleanly. He needs the win to solidify his title reign.
World Heavyweight Championship-HBK interference backfires and Cena retains
Rumble-Steph calls out Orton early in the show to fire him, she takes the RKO(or Punt). Shane-O-Mac returns and says Orton has earned his spot. Rhodes, Dibiase, and Orton then get spots 28,29, and 30, with Orton winning. Shane completes the Legacy as manager/authority figure with Steph and Vince out. Of course with me thinking this will happen it won't happen. With HBK tied up in the JBL storyline, I sort of hope they start building to a Taker/Jericho matchup here.
Women's Title - Beth Phoenix ECW Title - Jack Swagger WWE Title - I will go with Jeff Hardy here. I have a hard time seeing management yank the belt off him after only a month. World Title - JBL wins here after HBK interferes which will lead to... Royal Rumble - I am picking HBK here. Yes, I know that it has been said that his only function is to be in JBL's corner. But with all signs pointing to Orton winning, I wouldn't mind a big surprise instead.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Women's Championship: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina: Melina due to Santino and Rosa botching an assist
ECW Championship: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy: Swagger
WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy vs. Edge: No Contest after christian comes down, and waffles Jeff, then Matt comes down, and they ConChairTo Edge, and then both proceed to beat the holy hell out of Edge and Jeff. Next week on Smackdown, it is announced that Matt beat Jeff up in the stairwell, did the Hit and Run, and blew up the pyro.
World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. JBL: Cena Retains
30-Man Royal Rumble: The KANE PUSH, goes to Kennedy. Longest entry goes to Kofi, Surprise Entry goes to Umaga, Jericho wins the Rumble
Edge over Jeff due to Christian returning and intefering
Cena over JBL due to botched Michaels interference
Beth over Melina due to Rosa-ference
Swagger over Matt in the only clean finish of the undercard
I'll go with Triple H to win the Royal Rumble. I figure Orton will get a shot at Cena due to aligning with Steph or Shane, so HHH will have to win his WM title match to avoid Vicki's machinations.
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death!
honestly how many people are in the rumble that have a very good chance of winning it like 3, 4. I don't get how any one can honestly think Cody Rohdes, or Santino have a snowballs chance in hell of winning this.
John Cena retains. If Michaels hadn't jumped him on Monday I'd feel a lot better about the JBL win, because then you could've pulled the full out heel trigger there, but now we seem to be shifting the other way.
Jack Swagger retains. I'll say this one goes over by submission at that. We need to see shades of Kurt Angle out of this one.
Melina wins the Women's Title. They finally have to break up Glamarella at some point, right? This is about the time that Santino and Maria broke up last year, so why not? Maybe next year he can date Kelly Kelly Kelly.
Jeff Hardy retains. I'm on the Jeff/Christian vs Edge/Matt bandwagon, so I'm crossing my fingers here.
Kane wins the Royal Rumble. I think it's long overdue, and as somebody pointed out last week, this is pretty close to a signature match for Kane over this last decade. The real fun is trying to figure out what to do IF he wins.
I don't mean to seem like I care about material things (like a social status,) I just want four walls and adobe slabs for my girls
I predict shenanigans with the Royal Rumble finish, making necessary a No Way Out match for the title-contender spot.
Matt Hardy can only transition back to SmackDown if he is cheated out of his ECW title win. Otherwise, he loses two consecutive matches to an utter rookie before possibly moving over to feud with Christian. So I predict some ECW title match interference that gives Matt a reason to move to SmackDown and abandon the effort to regain his title.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Melina over Beth by DQ. Rosa's hot, but that won't help win the title.
Jeff over Edge. Who cares? It's all be done before. Edge hasn't entertained me since he was a goofy face.
Cena over JBL. The JBL/HBK storyline is fascinating, and I think it'll evolve into a sadistic symbiotic friendship starting at the Rumble when they realize they suddenly *LIKE* beating the tar out of Cena. I really wanna see a heel HBK again.
Swagger over Matt Hardy. I love what Swagger can do. He's fascinating, but please, get rid of the "American American" name.
Even though the "surprize entrant" angle was done last year, Christian returns to win the Rumble.
Orton to win the Rumble, with HHH, Jericho, and Undertaker all having really impressive showings. Cena retains, though I don't think Michaels turns on JBL quite yet. Jeff Hardy retains, somehow. Jack Swagger hangs on to the belt. Beth retains over Melina.
Women's Title: Beth Phoenix v Melina: Phoenix has had more TV time and a wacky angle in tow, Phoenix retains.
ECW Championship: Jack Swagger v Matt Hardy: Hardy needs to go job to Christian/Edge/Jeff Hardy/SmackDown!, Swagger wins.
WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy v Edge: Jeff Hardy has a snowballs chance in hell walking into WM the champ when you got a guy like Edge who can make kooky faces trying to be creepy. Edge wins, probably with some shenanigans, setting up a rematch at No Way Out.
World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena v JBL: JBL gets DQ'd, which leads to JBL blaming and thus 'humiliating' HBK up until their match at WM.
Royal Rumble: Orton/Cena is more played than solitaire. HHH wins the Rumble so there's a story for SmackDown!
Other than that, some shenanigans ensues setting up Orton/McMahon at WM, Orton 'killing his legend' and all.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Frown and the world laughs at you." -Me.
Originally posted by OliverSwagger over Matt Hardy. I love what Swagger can do. He's fascinating, but please, get rid of the "American American" name.
You are so right and so wrong. Right because they put the title on the guy and thus should make him a more serious character. Wrong because the moniker is the funniest moniker in years and I would cry if we don't hear it every week.
Beth over Melina, leading to Melina/Rosa feud and Beth/Kelly feud.
Jeff over Edge.
Swagger over Matt Hardy via pull of the tights rollup.
Cena over JBL when HBK is conflicted but doesn't help JBL, leading to the Throwback and the pin.
Randy Orton wins the Rumble. Santino has the shortest time. Kane has the longest time and is actually the final elimination for Orton's win. Koslov eliminates the most people.
"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (myspace.com)
Phoenix d. Melina Swagger d. Hardy Edge d. Hardy Cena d. JBL w/ help from Michaels
And as I have too much time on my hands:
Chris Jericho is #1. R-Truth is #2. They go at it. The Brian Kendrick is #3. Carlito is #4. Jericho eliminates Truth. Jericho & Kendrick team up on Carlito. Kofi Kingston is #5. The Miz is #6. Shelton Benjamin is #7. Shad is #8. Jericho eliminates Carlito. Undertaker is #9. Undertaker eliminates Miz. Benjamin and Kingston are working over each other, and Undertaker comes up and eliminates both. Shad works on Undertaker, but gets chokeslammed and eliminated. The Brian Kendrick tries to work over Undertaker, but is unsuccessful, and ends up getting thrown out. We're down to Undertaker and Jericho, as the clock ticks down. Vladimir Kozlov is #10. Kozlov gets the upper-hand on Undertaker, but eventually gets caught, and eliminated. The Boogeyman is #11. Boogey tries to intimidate Undertaker by eating worms. Undertaker boots Boogey in the face, picks him up, and throws him out. Undertaker begins to work over Jericho. The clock ticks down, and Umaga returns as #12. Umaga goes after Undertaker, and quickly gets the upperhand on him. Santino Marella enters at #13, and is scared. Umaga immediately eliminates him. Umaga continues working on Undertaker, and finally eliminates him. As Umaga is distracted by Undertaker on the outside, Jericho comes up from behind and eliminates him. Undertaker and Umaga brawl to the back, and Jericho is the only man left in the ring. Countdown begins, and Rey Mysterio enters at #14. Rey Mysterio and Jericho battle. John Morrison is #15, and helps out Jericho. CM Punk enters at #16, to even things out. Cody Rhodes is #17. Mark Henry is #18. JTG is #19. Mike Knox enters at #20, and goes after Rey Mysterio. Knox destroys Mysterio. Evan Bourne enters at #21, and helps Mysterio out. Bourne and Mysterio work on Knox. Big Show enters at #22. Bourne and Mysterio double clothesline Knox over the top and out. They celebrate, but then turn around into a double clothesline from Big Show, and they both go over and out. Great Khali enters at #23. Khali and Show work on each other. Triple H enters at #24. Khali and Show are battling, and Hunter tips them both over and out. Hunter turns his attention to Cody Rhodes. Ted DiBiase enters at #25, and they double team Hunter. Finlay is #26. Chavo Guerrero is #27, and he helps Priceless gang up on Hunter. Henry eliminates Finlay. Randy Orton is #28. Hunter eliminates Chavo, but Orton immediately cuts him off and beats on him. MVP is #29. Kane enters at #30. Kane throws JTG over and out. Punk helps out Hunter, and eliminates Rhodes, but Orton then throws Punk out. Kane eliminates Mark Henry. Jericho eliminates MVP. The 5 heels all work on Hunter. Orton then decides to go after Kane, pissing him off. Kane attacks the heels. Kane eliminates Morrison. Kane then eliminates DiBiase. He walks into an RKO, though, and Orton and Jericho both throw Kane over and out. We're down to three, and Jericho and Orton work on Hunter. Jericho goes for the Code Breaker, but Hunter catches him in mid-air, and dumps him out. We're down to Hunter and Orton. They work on each other. Vince McMahon heads down with a chair. Vince swings wildly at Orton, but misses and clocks Hunter in the head. Orton hits Vince with the RKO. Orton picks up the knocked-out Hunter, and throws him out. Randy Orton wins the 2009 Royal Rumble.
So I went over to the Corner Cafe to get a porkloin sandwich. In the afternoon, it's a place where young urban professionals take their 2 year old kids and put them on barstools while they hoist back an overpriced microbeer.