I needed to kill some hard drive space, and you get some Ring Of Honor recapping as a result. Somebody wins.
Before we get started, Bryon Frazier will tickle your funny bone while he discusses RAW vs. time travel. I’ll still be here when you get back.
Seconds in, and DAVE PRAZAK is standing in the middle of the ring, getting a standing ovation. We are LIVE from Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, and tonight is...all about celebrating BARON VON RASCHKE of all people? Meh, I’ll let it go, Baron doesn’t get a lot of love. Baron gets a much louder standing O than Prazak, and a “BARON” chant explodes. Clearly THEY never saw him wrestle. Baron welcomes the fans to Milwaukee, home of the Crusher...and that’s about as far as he gets before GENERATION NEXT hits the ring. ONE FAN starts an “ASSHOLE” chant loudly. No, really. Alex Shelley quickly lists the group, but without Coach Kevin Nash, this is a poor man’s Natural Born Thrillers. Shelley says they’ve decided to make an example of the Baron, but here comes THE SECOND CITY SAINTS to save. Most of them take off, but Jack Evans is trapped - causing the fans to chant “FUCK HIM UP BARON, FUCK HIM UP!” I dig it. CM Punk essentially asks the Baron to do just that, and Baron slaps on THE CLAW! And with that - Baron announces the show is set to begin! “Start your engines!”
DELIRIOUS vs. MATT SYDAL (with Daizee Haze) vs. TRENT ACID vs. ACE STEEL (in a four corner survival match)
Delirious starts with Ace Steel. We get a “CRAZY FUCKER” chant, and before we even start, Trent Acid tags his way in, in place of Delirious. JIMMY BOWER and MARK NOLTE are calling this one, since CM Punk is apparently unavailable. Acid tries working a headlock, but gets shoved off. The pair try shoulderblocks, but neither guy goes down, so Acid just pokes Steel in the eyes. Acid’s oversell of the hilarity is something straight out of ECW Stevie Richards, and I love it. Steel comes back with a powerslam, and tags out to Sydal. Delirious also enters, and they roll around a lot. Delirious somehow gets 2, while Bower addresses rumors of Delirious having the face of a lizard under the mask. Nolte: “Well, Mil Mascaras used to wear his mask all the time, even on the plane.” Bower: “Yes, but he had the face of a Mexican.” I don’t know why I find that so funny. Sydal whips out a rana from nowhere, but Delirious comes back with a double leg slam and deathlock. Steel blind tags his way in and dropkicks Delirious. Steel winds up outside, where Acid hits him with an Asai moonsault into the crowd! Delirious knocks Sydal out of the ring and to the outside. Acide thinks about going airborn on the other two, but Steel stops him and superplexes him back in. Delirious hits Steel with a crossbody for 2. Steel quickly recovers and runs Delirious back first from pillar to pillar, then drops him on his head for 2! Sydal in with a rana for Steel, followed by a spinning heel kick! Acid then eats a Scorpion deathdrop from Sydal for 2! Sydal heads up again, but this time is caught, and somehow all 4 guys get stuck into a massive superplex pile. Steel is up first, and hits Acid with a backbreaker, followed by impact DDT for 2! Sydal breaks them up with a legdrop off the top, and then Delirious splashes Steel for 2! Sydal goes for a pumphandle and dumps Delirious on his head for 1 before Acid gets involved. Yakuza kick!!! Sydal rolls out, so Acid goes after Steel who’s on the top rope. Delirious gets involved as well, and somehow Delirious eats a Spinal Shock! Acid goes for another Yakuza kick on Steel, but it’s ducked. Steel heads out, and Sydal flies at him with a tope con hilo!!!!! Seconds later, Acid is giving Delirious a sick brainbuster, and scores the pinfall at 9:14! *** Sickeningly high number of crazy ass spots, but there was zero transition and selling was non-existent, which is a running pattern in these wild ROH openers.
ALEX SHELLEY vs. DOUG WILLIAMS (for the ROH pure title)
Shelley and Williams flip each other off. This is a rematch from Reborn: Completion which I have on DVD and will get around to reviewing one of these days... Shelley starts by stomping on the hands of Williams - and Bower mentions of Williams retains here, he has to defend against Austin Aries tomorrow. Shelley and Williams fight over a test of strength, which Williams wins, as you might expect. Shelley comes back with a deathlock, and Bower lists the guys currently in the contender’s ring: Alex Shelley, Austin Aries, Colt Cabana, Bryan Danielson, CM Punk, and Homicide. Williams escapes the hold, and they start trading holds mid-ring. Shelley tries to ram Williams’ head into the mat several times, but Williams rolls through. Williams makes sure that Shelley eats the canvas though. Williams slaps on a headscissors submission hold, releases, and goes to a legbar. Shelley goes to the ropes for safety (break #1) - but Williams hogties him in the ropes with Shelley’s own body! Alex isn’t impressed at all, and certainly feeling the sting. He goes after Williams, and puts on a headlock...forcing Doug to go to the ropes (break #1). Shelley follows with a neckbreaker, kicks at the back of Williams, and then starts walking on the fallen man. Williams stands, looks pissed, but gets his eyes raked. Williams eats another neckbreaker, and Shelley hangs on to work the headlock. Neckbreaker #3, with the hold in place, and Williams goes back to the ropes again (break #2). Williams hits a big boot, follows with a drop toe hold, and rolls Shelley to a half crab, causing him to break (break #2). Williams goes after the leg again, but an enzuigiri stops that short. And Shelley gets vicious...dropping knee after knee after knee to the back of Doug’s head. Shelley goes for the kill, but Williams packages him out of nowhere for 2. A clothesline sends him right back down. Williams recovers, and we start the chain wrestling. Williams wins, and sends Shelley backwards into the buckle. Off the top - double arm superplex gets 2!!! Shelley fights back, and nails a fisherman’s neckbreaker for 2! Superkick, Shell Shock...and Williams saves himself with a rope break at 2 (break #3)!!! Shelley puts Williams up top, but Williams shoves him off, drops a knee off the top(!!!), and gets 2! Williams tries Chaos Theory, but it’s blocked, and Shelley nails Sliced Bread #2!!! Off the top, Shelley jumps on the neck of Williams, and gets 2!!! Williams tries Chaos Theory again, but Shelley blocks with the ropes which the referee declares a break (break #3) - and he’s out. A second attempt sees him try to block with the ropes, but it’s denied, and this time hits it for the pin at 16:49!!! **** That was some sweet wrasslin’. Post-match, Williams asks for a handshake, but that’s not happening.
MAFF and WHITMER vs. LOW KI and ROCKY ROMERO (with Julius Smokes)
ALLISON DANGER makes her presence felt, giving Maff and Whitmer one last chance to rejoin The Prophecy. Maff gives her a pretty clear response of “FUCK YOU! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF HERE!” Ki and Romero attack before the bell - and kick the shit out of them. Maff and Whitmer come back, and send them to the outside. It finally breaks down to a regular one-on-one match, with Whitmer and Romero. Test of strength, which Whitmer wins, so Romero goes to the ropes. Nolte figures that the hard hitting Rottweilers won’t bother Maff and Whitmer too much - since they’ve been in more hard hitting brawls in recent months than anyone. Maff throws a nasty hard chop at Low Ki, so Ki comes back with an enzuigiri. Maff doesn’t appreciate that, and sends Ki back to the corner with chops. A bodyslam takes down Low Ki, but Ki comes right back with a low blow. He throws his own chops now, and drops an elbow on Maff when he falls. In comes Romero. Maff holds his own, and turns it over to Whitmer. Whitmer chops at Romero, and hits a spinning heel kick for 2. Maff tags back in and gives Romero a vertical suplex. Back to Whitmer, who according to Harley Race is one of the best in the business today. I find that to be a bit of stretch, since he’s the fourth most talented one IN THIS MATCH. Low Ki chokes him out on the ropes while the referee is distracted. Maff manages to get in, and he pokes Low Ki in the eyes. Ki is elevated and planted - but he rolls out before Maff can do further damage. Maff decides to follow anyway, and drops an elbow onto the floor! Romero attacks now, and kicks at the big man on the floor. He’s rolled in, right into the arms of Low Ki, who hits a Stunner to Maff’s arm, and gets 2. Both Rottweilers work over Maff in the corner, and Romero hits a Shining Wizard!!! Romero puts on an armbreaker...which Whitmer breaks up with a kick to the face! Low Ki in, and he works over Maff’s arm some more. Romero drops a knee over the arm of Maff, and a nonchalant pin gets 2! Low Ki suddenly comes off the top with a REAL stomp to the stomach that would make Kevin Sullivan cream his pants over, and THAT gets 2. I couldn’t take that move without throwing up a lot afterwards. Romero drops a knee to Maff’s face, and slaps on a keylock. Maff escapes with a bodyslam, but Low Ki comes in and kicks Maff away from a potential tag. Maff says “fuck it” and decides to give them BOTH a German suplex at the same time!!! Impressive stuff. Maff makes a tag out - but Julius Smokes is busy distracting the referee, and it doesn’t count! Whitmer snaps and rolls Smokes in! He eats a spear from Maff, and this time a real tag takes place! Whitmer clotheslines both Rottweilers, and connects with a high knee on Low Ki! A Northern lights suplex on Romero gets 2! An exploder on Low Ki sends him into Romero!!!! Romero eats a brainbuster for 2! HOMICIDE has come down to ringside for some reason, while Low Ki takes a second exploder!!!! Maff slaps on a double arm stretch on Romero, but Ki saves. Whitmer goes for a wristlock exploder on Ki, but it’s reversed into the dragon sleeper! Maff spears Low Ki, and then goes for Burning Hammer on Romero!!!!! Ki saves by shoving Whitmer into Maff, and Romero puts a cross arm breaker on Maff! Ki holds back Whitmer, and Maff taps at 16:56! ****1/4 Another awesome match in a series of great ones to start tonight. ROH is on its game. Smokes flips off the crowd after the match, and Allison Danger returns to ringside. She offers her services to the Rottweilers, and mentions to Maff and Whitmer they’re NOTHING without her. So they shove her into Homicide who gives her the Cop Killa! Now THAT’S funny stuff.
ALLISON DANGER is carted out on a stretcher, in a neckbrace.
DANNY DANIELS vs. CHAD COLLYER
The boys trade some basic wrestling holds to start, with Collyer coming out the better of the two. Daniels comes back with a reverse Russian legsweep, and hangs on to the arms - forcing Collyer to break with the ropes. Collyer comes back with a drop toe hold, while Bower thinks it’s great this show is featuring no backstage activity (like Good Times, Great Memories or Inside Samoa Joe’s Ring) - and instead is focusing on nothing but matches. Because failing to develop characters is what ROH is all about! Collyer hits a sweet dropkick, and works a hammerlock. They start trading chops, but Daniels stops that with a gutbuster. Stomp to the gut, senton, and Daniels gets 2. Daniels works a seriously contrived gutbuster that does nothing for me, and moves to a three quarter nelson. Collyer is rolled up for 2. Collyer stuns the knee of Daniels, but Daniels comes firing back with an avalanche! A second charge sees Collyer prepared, and Daniels takes an overhead belly to belly throw INTO THE BUCKLE! Yow! Collyer hits a dropkick, follows with a blown rana (drawing a “YOU FUCKED UP”) for 2. Daniels is tossed out, and Collyer hits a tope suicida to the delight of the fans! Back in, Collyer tries a splash off the top, but Daniels gets his knee in position for a gutbuster, then rolls Chad up in an Oklahoma roll for 2! They quickly run through a series of counters which Collyer wins with a dragon screw, and he applies the Texas Cloverleaf! Daniels quickly taps to end it at 8:27. *3/4 Very blah, but Collyer’s kind of hit and miss.
AUSTIN ARIES, RODERICK STRONG, and JACK EVANS (with Alex Shelley) vs. MATT STRYKER, JIMMY JACOBS, and JOHN WALTERS
John Walters gets on the mic before the match, and mentions that he’s aware there’s strength in numbers, and have brought in an equalizer... RICKY STEAMBOAT. Steamboat actually looks ready to take on all four Generation Next members here, and the fans chant “ARMDRAG” at him. Evans gets in Steamboat’s face, so Steamboat gets back in his and that leads to a “YOU GOT SERVED” chant, which is awesome. Evans starts with Jacobs, and throws him around a lot. Jacobs starts stomping around the ring, and hiptosses Evans. Strong heads in, and gets armdragged by Walters. Stryker and Aries square off now, and Stryker actually gets the better of him. You can bet that wouldn’t be happening NOW. Deep hiptosses are good, and Stryker drops his knee down on Aries’ arm. Aries comes back with some high knees, but Stryker comes him off. Aries throws a dropkick at Stryker’s knees, and applies a legbar. Strong tags in, and pulls at the leg. Strong works a cross legged surfboard, and slams Stryker into the mat a few times. Evans in, and I doubt we’ll see much stuff on the mat now. He drops a couple knees, hits a dragon screw, and works a spinning toe hold. Stryker punches him in the face, so Evans cuts off the ring and goes back to Aries. Stryker hits an armbar takedown, and tags in Jacobs. Fans don’t care, because Stryker wasn’t in long enough. Shelley distracts the referee, allowing a triple team beatdown on Jacobs. Aries dropkicks Jacobs in the face for 2. Jacobs goes for a tag, but he’s hit with a spinebreaker for 2. Strong in, and hits some nasty chops. A backbreaker connects, and gets 2. Evans back in, and he hits some elbows to the head. He misses a spin kick, but hits a dropkick. “IT AIN’T BETTER THAN THIS” - and Evans hits a standing corkscrew legdrop! Jacobs is placed in the corner, but Jacobs fights everyone off. He goes for a crossbody on Aries, but Aries rolls through and nails a fireman’s carry roll! Strong flies in with an elbow off the top for 2. Strong gorilla presses Jacobs into the turnbuckles, and Generation Next then hits a triple team stomp to the stomach!!! Strong covers, but the referee is distracted, and we get no count. Jacobs tries to spear his way out, but that’s not happening, and he’s hit with an overhead belly to belly. Aries hits a European uppercut, nails a backdrop suplex, and gets 2! Atomic drop, Strong in, but Jacobs fights and gets a tag...only to find the referee distracted, and it doesn’t count. Jacobs is whipped chest first to the buckle, and then kicked into it again, giving Strong a 2. Strong beats down Jacobs, slams him, and goes back to Aries who slingshots in with a senton. An elbowdrop scores 2. Evans heads up, but Jacobs catches him, throws Evans into the other two - and tags out! Stryker and Walters both come in and take Gen Next apart. Evans is left alone, and hit with a super backbreaker, almost off an electric chair for 2!!! Walters gets caught alone with 2 guys, and is hit with a backbreaker, followed by a 450 from Aries for 2!!! Shelley gets involved, so Steamboat takes him to school. Evans goes for the 630 on Walters, but MISSES, and is caught in an armbar and TAPS at 16:48! **3/4 This is Generation Next’s first loss as a team. Jacobs gets down on his knees and praises Steamboat, but Steamboat offers up a hug instead, and raises everyone’s arms.
HOMICIDE (with Julius Smokes, Low Ki, and Rocky Romero) vs. SAMOA JOE (for the ROH world heavyweight title)
The more I watch ROH, the more I’m coming to dislike Samoa Joe. He’s a fantastic wrestler, but the pretentious, selfish “I demand respect” attitude is starting to wear REALLY thin on me. The fans chant “HOMO-CIDE” - and he goes after the fans. He’s about the last person I’d piss off. This is apparently the final title shot Homicide will get as long as Joe is champion. The Rottweilers distract Joe right off the get go, and Homicide attacks from behind. Low Ki tries to trip him up, and Homicide delivers a big boot to Joe’s face. The referee is NOT at all in the mood, and ejects the entire stable from ringside. They refuse to leave, and throw a total shit fit - but Homicide doesn’t want to take a DQ, and instructs them to go. Joe throws some vicious headbutts, but Homicide comes back with a pair of bitchslaps. Joe responds with a huge fist to the face. Homicide collapses in the corner - but rather than rub his ass in Homicide’s face, Joe hits a running knee strike. How novel. The WWE might take note. Joe continues to pepper Homicide with leg strikes. Joe throws a couple of big rights, while the announcers wonder what on earth happened to the World Title belt that Homicide stole at World Title Classic. Joe hits a long standing vertical suplex, and the fans respond appropriately. An armbar is applied, but Homicide breaks that in the ropes quickly enough. Homicide gets vicious, and totally rakes the eyes of Joe, as well as fishhooking all over the place. Joe goes down - Homicide gives him a big boot for good measure, and gets 2. The Fans: “DEATH TO HOMICIDE!” That doesn’t get a reaction, but “FUCK YOU HOMICIDE!” does. He chases a couple of fans, but stops - and goes back in. Homicide channels the spirit of the greatest champion ever...and RAKES THE BACK of Joe!!!! Hollywood!!! Joe comes back with a number of stiff looking shots, but his momentum is stopped with a poke to the eyes. They trade big boots back and forth. Homicide goes for a crossface, but Joe blocks with the ropes - and Homicide isn’t allowed to apply it. Joe throws a flurry of fists, but Homicide cuts him off with another eye poke. Joe falls, and Homicide dances on his face on the apron. If that’s not bad enough, he now steals from The Undertaker’s playbook, and drops the leg guillotine style over the apron! This just serves to piss Joe off - and he again delivers the punishment. Homicide chops back, Joe falls, and he then runs a big boot to Joe’s face in the corner! Joe is dumped, and Homicide follows him right out with a baseball slide. Nolte suggests the floor is NOT the greatest place for Homicide to be - and Joe immediately proves it by whipping Homicide into the guardrail. Back in, Joe gets 2. A standing enzuigiri gets 2. Homicide recovers, gives Joe a neckbreaker over the ropes, follows with a knee off the top, and gets 2. During the exchange, he threatens to pull something out of his shorts - and I *don’t* think it’s your typical foreign object. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” Joe is dumped again, and the announcers anticipate the tope con hilo - as do the fans. He starts...and then stops right before the move. “FUCK ALL OF YALL!” While Homicide cackles at the crowd, somehow Joe manages to hit an enzuigiri from the floor to the SECOND ROPE!!!! “OLE, OLE OLE OLE...” Joe feels it too...but misses the OLE OLE kick when Homicide gives him a drop toe hold. Now Homicide fires them up to chant “OLE OLE” - charges with one of his own...but Joe pops up, and hits an overhead belly to belly ON THE FLOOR! Good gawd! This gets the fans going again, and the OLE OLE kick is NOT missing again!!!! Homicide collapses under an ROH sign - so Joe jumps on top of that. They head back in. Homicide tries an avalanche, but considering the size difference, you can just imagine what’s coming... Joe blocks easily, and gives him a sidewalk slam for 2. Homicide tries a neckbreaker over the top for a second time, which hits, but the knee off the top misses this time - and Joe quickly powerslams him for 2!!! Joe kicks Homicide in the face a few times, and powerbombs him for 2! He hangs on, hits a tigerbomb...and gets another 2!!! Bower: “IT’S ELECTRIC IN THIS BUILDING!” This is back when ROH had money. See, in November, they held a big Weekend Of Thunder, but unfortunately that building was not electric, and CM Punk and Austin Aries wound up wrestling around in the dark. Homicide hits a blockbuster, follows with a neckbreaker, and finishes with a Pedigree to really do some damage to the neck. The series gets 2. Homicide throws a trio of clotheslines, and gets another 2. Homicide rips off his elbowpad, goes for a huge clothesline, but Joe blocks, and gives him a cobra clutch suplex for a CLOSE 2!!!! Homicide is placed on top, and hit with the Muscle Buster - and that’s all she wrote. Everyone knows it. Except Homicide apparently, who kicks out at 2!!!! Fans: “HOLY SHIT!” No kidding. Homicide crawls to his feet, and is hit with the Island Driver...for another 2!!!!!!!! Joe is raging, just firing in with punches like crazy. He goes completely nuts, and puts on the Choke...and Homicide just passes out at 24:06. ****1/2 Joe completely snaps though, and refuses to let go. All sorts of REFS and OFFICIALS try to save - but Joe isn’t there right now. The Rottweilers return from the back, and they have to pounce on Joe to make the save. They beat him within an inch of his life. Homicide promises this is not over, and the Rottweilers take turns spitting on the world title. What an un-fucking-believable finishing sequence resulting in one of the hottest wrestling matches I’ve seen in quite some time. This show as a whole has been all sorts of awesome. Must be the lack of Bryan Danielson.
THE BRISCOES vs. CM PUNK and COLT CABANA (in a 2 out of 3 falls match for the ROH world tag-team titles)
This had better be all kinds of awesome to justify the main event slot in lieu of Homicide/Joe. Punk starts with Mark. Mark tries a quick rollup for 2. Punk tries a headlock while Nolte mentions this is the third time the Briscoes have met Punk and Cabana, and if they don’t win here, they may find themselves out of shots. The fans are desperate for Cabana, and Cabana they have! He shoves Mark back to the corner, and as they break with Mark’s hands in the air, Cabana gives him a high five. Jay in, and goes to the figure four sleeper, but Cabana escapes with ease and moves to a headlock. Mark back in, and they trade holds while Bower plugs the merchandise store. Punk comes in, and I’m hoping SOMETHING happens, because the first 8 minutes have been a total bore. Instead, they choose to trade headlocks again - but cease shortly after and move up to hiptosses. They trade some chops, but Punk stops that and pounds Mark down with punches. Mark then has his facewashed with the boots, but before the running boot hits, Mark rolls out of the way. Bower calls this “very cerebral” which is on the same level of JR calling something “bowling shoe ugly”. Cabana tags in, but Mark takes him down right away and drops the knee on his arm over and over. Cabana comes back with a Russian legsweep, and Punk comes in with a senton. Punk goes to a few shoulderblocks in the corner, stops, and puts on an abdominal stretch. Cabana comes in and helps make it a double abdominal stretch temporarily. Snapmare is followed by a back elbow for 2. Punk back in, and he tries a reverse double toehold into a surfboard pin for 2. Cabana comes back in and drops a knee on Mark’s head. A pair of elbow drops gets 2. Punk tries a swinging neckbreaker, but Mark reverses into a backslide for 2. Punk quickly rushes Mark back to their corner so he can’t tag out. Cabana in, and uses a sitdown camel clutch into a pin for 2. Punk comes in, but winds up getting into it with Jay on the outside. He whips Jay into the guardrail, but while he’s posing, Mark flies over the top with a plancha onto Punk! Back in, Mark drops a knee to the groin, and finally tags out to Jay. Jay stands on Punk’s throat in the corner, chops away, hits a dropkick, and does a strange skip. No, he really did. The Briscoes use a double team stomp on Punk. Jay drops an elbow for 2. Mark in, front suplex, and we have a 2. Punk comes back with a cradle for 2. It’s picked up a little, but not much. Mark hits a springboard dropkick for 2. The Briscoes go to the heel tactics, distracting the referee and choking out Punk in the corner. This match is really lacking in a definite line of heel and face, since everyone’s playing tweener, leaning towards heel - even though the fans are desperate to get behind Punk and Cabana. 20 minutes in, and I’m bored stiff. Punk finally escapes the double team, and Cabana cleans house. He hits a running kneelift on Jay, a double knee on Mark, and he puts Mark in a reverse Boston crab. Punk is tagged back in, but hit with a Jay Driller - and the Briscoes win fall #1 at 20:16.
Cabana checks on Punk, because he’s seriously hurt. Jay gives him a baseball slide dropkick, and then accidentally nails Mark back off the apron. Cabana catches Jay with a swinging backbreaker, releases, and drops an elbow. A butt butt gets 2. Mark makes a blind tag in, but Cabana sees the crossbody coming, sidesteps, and Mark hits Jay! Cabana nails a reverse vertical suplex for 2. Jay distracts Cabana, and Mark hits a spinning heel kick. The Briscoes chop away on Cabana, and hit a double boot to the face! Jay works over Cabana. Cabana tries a running charge in the corner, but misses, and winds up hit with a neckbreaker for 2. Mark goes for a double team guillotine, but Cabana pulls Jay’s face in the way instead, and rolls up Jay for a pin at 26:44.
One more fall to go, thank god. During the rest period, Jay works over Cabana. He hits a running knee to the head, and Cabana crawls desperately for a tag...but Punk is still dead on the floor. The Briscoes hit Cabana with a springboard doomsday device, but at 2 Punk dives in from nowhere for the save! Cabana finds himself caught in a headlock, but he fights out and hits a clothesline! Mark makes the tag in, knocks Punk off the apron, and pulls Colt back to the Briscoe corner. Colt manages to avoid a beat down, and hits a springboard crossbody onto the brothers. Mark is hit with an enzuigiri, and Punk is tagged in! He hits a Russian legsweep/DDT combo for 2! A running knee in the corner is followed by a Weclome To Chicago for 2. He tries a second one, but Mark comes flying in with a boot to the face to save! Jay goes for a Jay Driller on Punk, but Punk escapes with a double leg slam! Cabana comes off the top with a frog splash, and Punk steals a 2. Mark winds up alone with Punk and Cabana, and they play ping pong with his head. Cabana is pulled out by Jay, and Mark then backdrops Punk onto the both of them. Mark goes up, and hits a shooting star press onto everyone!!!! Cabana is the first one up, and hits everyone on the floor with an Asai moonsault. Punk heads back into the ring with Mark, and tries for a Shining Wizard. He misses, but after some melee involving Jay and Cabana, he hits it on the second go!! The fans call for the Pepsi Plunge, and Punk goes to deliver. Mark makes the save though, taking Punk off the top with a Diamond Cutter for 2. Cabana hits a backbreaker on Jay for 2. Jay recovers, hits the Cut Throat Suplex...for 2 before Punk saves! He goes for one on Punk now, but Punk escapes and they head to the corner. Punk goes for the Pepsi Plunge, hits it on Mark, and scores the pinfall to retain at 37:31. **1/4 The last 5 exciting minutes do not make up for 33 minute of slow paced garbage that blatantly insinuated they were going to have a long match. Sometimes, less is more and in this case they weren’t ready to deliver.
Main event aside, you’re looking at 4 matches that hit at least ***, with 3 of those going ****+! Great stuff, and the best ROH show I’ve reviewed to date. I’m quickly warming up to Homicide after being a little cold on him at the beginning, while rapidly losing interest in Colt Cabana because I have yet to see him deliver the goods in the ring. Hopefully my opinion will change with night two when he takes on Samoa Joe. ‘Til then...
So what if it's not even Christmas yet? For this column, I've decided I'm going to stop ripping off other columnists, and go straight to WWE Magazine. It's time to look into the crystal ball of the future to see what will (and won't)