It was about four years ago when Roderick Toombs, known around the world as a wrestler, actor and bagpiper by the name of Rowdy Roddy Piper, dropped by Harvey’s Comedy Club. He was asked to come up on stage and say hello. Piper, there with another wrestler, Bart Sawyer, promptly got up, grabbed a chair and hit Sawyer over the head with it. “That’s how wrestlers say hello,” Piper deadpanned. Piper will be back on stage at Harvey’s tonight and Saturday night, as the main event. The headliner. It’s his standup comedy debut, and he’ll mostly just be talking about his life. “I’m not Rowdy Roddy Piper,” he says. “But I’m going to be talking about the guy.” Piper is 50 now, and he’s calmed down only a little. He considers himself lucky to have survived the high-risk life on the road as a pro wrestler, where drugs, alcohol and fast times blend with performance-enhancing drugs and painkillers to claim many victims. During the show he plans a tribute.
Wow, that just sounds like a massive, massive trainwreck....especially since the last time Piper seemed funny was in the 80s.
"It takes lots of drunk daddies missing a lot of dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for $50, and if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?" -Lazyboy, Underwear Goes Inside the Pants
I cringe at the thought of having to sit through 40 minutes of Piper's rambling. Seriously, his promos in TNA are bad enough...how is this guy going to connect with a non-wrestling audience? It's not like he can string a coherent thought together anymore.
It sounds interesting to me. I'd pay to see it. Roddy's jokes are old, sure, but as soon as the first heckler rags on wrestling, Roddy will pull down his pants and show the scar on his hip like he did on Politically Incorrect.
I think he should start the act with some of his zingers from They Live.
"Hey, everyone, how ya doin'? What about that Mr. T, huh? Ya know.... I beat him within an inch of his life when I main evented WrestleMania and he's just a (slew of racist words). Huh? Huh? Am I right?"
"And what's the deal with Adrian Adonis? He and I headlined WrestleMania Three, and I have to tell you, he (assorted gay bashing)! Thank ya, thank ya very much!"
"I was talkin to my old pal Vince McMahon the other day. He's so scared shitless of me that one time I forced him to (series of lies) and then all of the boys (lots of old-school carney language)."
"And what about Jimmy Superfly Snuka? Huh? He and I were on a pay-per-view special the other day... no, no, I'm serious. I'm not making this up, folks. Anyways, Snuka (series of racist comments)."
"Thank you, thank you very much. You've been a beautiful audience."
Uh, Roddy, there's no one left in the club.
"Just like the time I sold out Wembley Stadium..."
Because he's not convincing as a main-event heel. At all. And...well, he's boring. Plain and simple. Personally, the highlight of the night for me was whenever Samoa Joe got tagged in during that six-man.