Promoting the Interview Segment? THIS is THE NEW Ring of Honor!
by Christopher Robin Zimmerman Recapper of Honor™
Guys, I KNOW that these shows are Saturday night and as I type this up, it's Thursday. It's not that I have a life so much as I enjoy doing so many other things that aren't writing up this show. Hell, even DEAN couldn't get this show done until Sunday. It's a downhill spiral from here, I'm sure. I'll tell you right now I have a long vacation planned in June, so I'm probably dropping out after show #12. It's not too late to angle your way into getting this gig! Start writing to Rick RIGHT NOW!
CABLE GUIDE SEZ: Ric Flair addresses the Ring of Honor title controversy. (HDTV) TV-14,CC,Stereo. HD
"You're watching a special presentation of Ring of Honor wrestling on HDNet!"
Open - THIS is RING OF HONOR WRESTLING #9, coming to you from The Arena in Philadelphia, PA and airing 5/16/09 (taped 4/9) on HDNet!
Your hosts are MIKE HOGEWOOD, DAVE PRAZAK and THE GREEN SCREEN. Nice suits, lads! Tonight, Ric Flair will reveal the person getting the title shot against Jerry Lynn. That's then, but first is:
YOUR OPENING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL WITH A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI (The United Banks of Switzerland, 107 kilos - with Let Us Take You Back 1 Month) vs. BRENT ALBRIGHT (Tulsa, OK - 246 pounds) Referee: TODD SINCLAIR
Castagnoli proudly models a new robe and a scarf which may or may not be new. As this clip shows, back on ROH #5 these two combatants first met on HDNet, with Castagnoli taking the victory through underhanded tactics.
SMACKTALK: "Tonight's the night that I've been waitin' for...because tonight, my very American foot is gonna meet up with your very European ass! And when it's all said and done, I'm goin' to the bar, I'm gonna drink me a cold one. See ya later."
No handshakes for sure as they collide as soon as Albright hits the ring. Castagnoli runs at him, but runs right into a legsweep and Albright gets ta poundin'. Five or six rights. Knee by Castagnoli, no dice, Albright still pounding away. Castagnoli manages a takedown but Albright quickly reverses and goes back to pummeling. "Commentators" graphic. They roll again, and again it's Albright with the punches and forearms. Back on their feet - Albright with a right hand. Knife-edge chop. Into the ropes, reversed by Castagnoli, big back elbow. (Very) European uppercut by Castagnoli. Another one. Albright with a forearm. Knife-edge chop (woooo!), knee by Castagnoli. (Very) European uppercut. Albright puts him into the ropes, nice powerslam but only 1. Albright with a Euro uppercut of his own, Castagnoli fires back, trading elbows now. Castagnoli drops own, heads outside and Albright is out after him. Knife-edge chop (woooo!), slaps the back, takes him to the barricade. Crazy overhead shot of Albright with a snapmare on the mat - and a knee in the back. I'm suspicious that this will go to a countout as Sinclair is already at 10. European uppercut by Albright, by Castagnoli, right by Albright, uppercut, rolls him back in at 12. Gutshot, right hand, cover, it's all Albright - 1, 2, kickout by Castagnoli. Forerarm. Castagnoli kicks. Head to the buckle by Castagnoli to take over. Again. Now raking Albright's face across the top rope. (Very) European uppercut. Another. Into the opposite corner, Albright up and over as he charges in, belly-to-belly throw as Castagnoli comes back! German suplex with a release! Albright climbing to the top rope - Castagnoli with a wacky stagger, but comes to just in time to evade the missile dropkick. Off the ropes with a bicycle kick! And Castagnoli gets 2. Mount and punching away. Pausing to pose - crowd does the Fonzie "Ayyyyy!" Off the ropes...sorta...with a "measured" elbowdrop. Castagnoli doing some wacky stalking...running knee when Albright is up. There's another. Albright staggered in the corner - Castagnoli working the neck while Albright kisses the buckle for 4. "Ayyyyy!!!" Castagnoli tells the three people doing it with him to shut up. Ha! (Very) European uppercut. Albright chops back. Castagnoli uppercut, Albright chop, gutshot by Castagnoli, gut wrench suplex (!), 1, 2, Albright with a kickout. Again Castagnoli is...doing nothing (aka "measuring") - he's really moving in slow motion tonight. Knee in the back. There's another knee in the back. A THIRD knee. Booting him to the outside - and following after. Now it's Castagnoli commanding the floor - Albright rammed into the barricade. "Ayyy!" pose. Albright rolled in at 8. Castagnoli back in - (very) European uppercut - this is apparently the cue for Albright to fire back with a forearm of his own, just like all the other times this match. Euro uppercut by Castagnoli, forearm by Albright, Castagnoli, Albright, Castagnoli, Albright, Castagnoli, oh come on already, Albright, Albright knife-edge chop, right hand, Castagnoli with a EYE POKE... This is so exciting we knock out the "Watching Ring of Honor Wrestling at a friend's house? You loser!" AND "Upcoming Live Ring of Honor Dates - May 29 & May 30th Philadelphia PA" graphics during this exchange. There's yet another (very) European uppercut by Castagnoli. Into the ropes, reversed by Albright, brought up, countered back down by Castagnoli landing on his feet - to the ropes, Albright holds on and Castagnoli rolls back, Albright to his back, catching Castagnoli and monkey flipping him over the top rope and outside! I believe at this point, Albright's looking to fly - sorta - PESCADO is really rather awful but Castagnoli dutifully catches him and then sells it. The count is on again. Albright is FIRED UP! and slapping the barricade - now screaming. Castagnoli thrown back in - top rope - Albright's crossbody block DOES land - but Castagnoli kicks out after 2! Albright moves quickly into the crowbar submission hold...and it doesn't take long for Castagnoli to grab the rope and force a break. Albright trying to stay on him, but Castagnoli drops him across the top rope into a hot shot! Gutshot by Castagnoli - wants the Riccolabomb but Albright counters out - backdrop attempt falls short when Castagnoli lands on his feet, shoved into the ropes, Castagnoli ducks the clothesline attempt, springing off the second rope but Albright CATCHES him on his shoulder - dropping him with the Air Raid Crash (!) (thanks, Prazak) - 1, 2, NO! Albright ready to finish him? Half nelson suplex is attempted - Castagnoli elbows out of the half nelson, but Albright is ready for the next attempt at the bicycle kick. Rollup by Castagnoli - grabbing the bottom rope - 1, 2, Sinclair FINALLY sees him hooking the rope and breaks it up! Albright has caught his wind - and catches Castagnoli's boot on the kick attempt, ducks the clothesline attempt, off the ropes, Castagnoli catches him AGAIN but they end up spinning and spinning...spinning into a...hell if I know, but it ends with Albright dropping to the mat and AGAIN cinching in the crowbar! Hey wait, there's PRINCE NANA & DIRTY ERNIE OSIRIS! Nana directs Osiris to throw a shoe - presumably his - and it connects squarely with Albright's face! This breaks everything up. While Sinclair retrieves the shoe and turns his back to return it, Castagnoli STRIKES! OHHH THAT'S UN FOUL! After receiving a kick squaar in the nuts, Albright is helpless and can't counter ANYTHING, least of all this cover - 1, 2, 3! Castagnoli is 2-0 against Albright on this show. (9:29) Nana and Osiris are long gone, but Castagnoli isn't done - chair brought in...and placed across the back of Albright's neck. I was wrong before - Nana and Osiris are still looking on with great amusement - but before Castagnoli can stomp on that chair, the music hits and FORMER WWE SUPERSTAR SCOTTY GOLDMAN is out to make sure THAT doesn't happen. He's got a chair of his own, so Castagnoli skedaddles. My, my - there are all SORTS of issues with all SORTS of people here tonight in the Ring of Honor™! I....I just wish I cared about ANY of it. Castagnoli demands Sinclair raise his hand for the benefit of the camera. Let's take the replay... Replay shows the shoe connecting rather nicely with Albright's face - big kick in the testes, big pinfall and The W for Castagnoli. We FINALLY see a handshake of honor™ but it's between Albright and Colt Cabana.
Time now for a word from YOUR ROH tag team champions. See if you can figure out which one is speaking the English and which one is not! "Here in Ring of Honor, World tag team champions are finally standing side by side on HDNet, and tonight - okay, okay, look," "¡Si!" "look look, hey hey hey...dude, you gotta calm down. Okay? I know it's very exciting" "Si" "and you've been waiting for a while for this" "Si" "but when you get too excited, those little accidents happen, all right? And I don't wanna clean up after you. So he's been been waiting for two months for this. Ever since the American Wolves took you out, right?" "Si." "Well Wolves, don't make the mistake of thinking that we forgot about that 'cause we didn't, and tonight I suggest you take a close look at our match. Because we're gonna show you exactly why we have these belts and our victims are gonna be Kenny King & Rhett Titus." "Olé!" "Why do you always ruin it?"
TONIGHT! What lovely photos of Rhett Titus, Kenny King, El Generico and Kevin Steen!
SMACKTALK: "We came to Ring of Honor with one purpose and one purpose only - to dominate. What you're seeing is a tag team juggernaut." "And it's gonna keep happenin'. Jon and I are gonna steamroll over everyone that you put in the ring with us, it doesn't matter if it's a tag team, a six man, an eight man, it doesn't matter! The two of us will take you all out. And if you don't like it...do something about it." "We DARE ya."
THIS TAG TEAM MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL WITH A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT JON DAVIS & KORY CHAVIS - THE DARK CITY FIGHT CLUB (508 pounds) vs. THE TEAM OF "SUGARFOOT" ALEX PAYNE & THE LITTLEST LUMBERJACK, GRIZZLY REDWOOD (currently in the ring - 338 pounds) Referee: BRYCE REMSBURG
So help me GOD, I am not transcribing another one of these DCFC squashes. Instead, I'll ask how 177 + 235 = 338, and also mention the weekly appearance of the "Follow RING of HONOR on TWITTER - Twitter.com/ROHonHDNET" graphic. ("Double Ace Crusher" on Payne -> pin 2:04)
BUZZ WORDS: This week Necro Butcher has some words to describe himself and Delirious: "Chair swingin'!" "Deeowoodetaa!" "Staple gun shootin'!" "Picshododec sicka!" "What he said!"
BUZZ WORDS: Hmm, we're not done yet. "I am the leader of the Age of the Fall Jimmy Jacobs. This is the mean dirty trucker Brodie Lee. Mind games." "Hardcore!" "Control." "Massive." "Violent!" "Strong!"
I guess the point of all those clips was to let you know that NEXT WEEK! we're going to have another tag team match where those two dudes will take on THOSE two dudes.
And now it's time for RIC FLAIR to have trouble navigating the ramp - Kim speculates he has some crazy expensive shoes on, while I speculate that he is CRAZY OLD. He calls over SOME DUDE to part the ropes for him - then takes a streamer square in the shoulder. "My man, some things never change in life. When I get in the ring, someone holds the rope. You know what I like about Ring of Honor? The word 'controversy.' When there's controversy, that means somethin's goin' down that keeps you excited, keeps the people watchin' HDNet excited, and keeps ME excited. And right now, there's so much controvery about who's gonna get this title shot - the FIRST title shot on HDNet I KNOW I should get it." Oh oh, he's going off script! Crowd can't decide on a chant so it kinda ends up sounds like a "Nature Flair" chant. Whatevs. "Guys, don't think that thought hasn't crossed my mind, okay? But right now, I've got a very important job. I've got with Cary Silkin, the owner of the company, we made a big decision, I'm gonna make the announcement tonight, the first Ring of Honor World Championship match on HDNet, I'm gonna announce the opponent for OUR world champion, and I want you to come out here right now, JERRY LYNN, let's see what's goin' on man. Bring it out." And here he comes, title around waist. Commentators speculate on potential opponents - Hoge picks Black and Prazak picks Danielson, wotta shock. "I think going forward it would behoove you to open the ropes for the world champion as well. This is the world champion. Okay, I'm gonna reinstate when I've said before: to be the man, Jerry Lynn, you've gotta stay the man. Okay? So as of right now, I'm this close to tellin' you that you're gonna be wrestling..." and of course we wait for the music to hit and TYLER BLACK to hit the ring. Black and Lynn shake hands! Well, let's go ahead and wait for the next tune to fire up so BRYAN DANIELSON can also hit the ring. Another handshake! Another tune! It's AUSTIN ARIES! Now..let's see if you can figure out what's going to happen. First, Aries DOES force someone (I'm assuming timekeeper GIUSEPPE diLORENTO) to part the ropes so HE can hit the ring. He also had the foresight to bring his own mic! "Ric, I just want to thank you first for bringing me out here - I know that the news you're about to break to these guys, obviously you look around this ring, there's only one guy that can even come close to having the style of the Nature Boy - that's obviously me. And while you are without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest world champion ever, I might just be the greatest man that ever lived, so I know you're about to give me what I deserve more than anybody else in this ring, so go ahead - break the news to these guys." "Let me just say that in the short period of time that I've been with Ring of Honor, I couldn't be more impressed with the quality and ability and the skill of each four of these guys bringing to the ring. You're the champion." Handshakes all around. "But - but - television and HDNet, they want something cutting edge, they want something real special, they want something from all of you. So, the first match for the world title, Ring of Honor world title, on HDNet will be: Jerry Lynn vs. Austin Aries." Dramatic pause. "Vs. Tyler Black...vs. Bryan Danielson. Ladies and gentlemen, as promised and as advertised, Ring of Honor will give you the best there is. You guys...best of luck to all of you. Flair again has a handshake to everyone...this time, Austin pauses before taking the hand. Prazak says that "Four corners survival" is a staple of Ring of Honor. Oh, really?
Backstage, Kyle Durden stands with Rhett Titus & Kenny King. See if YOU can tell which man is which! "BROTHER, BROTHER, BROTHER. Everybody knows that Rhett Titus is addicted to love, but what most people don't know is that Rhett Titus is addicted to success as well, brother, tell 'em Kenny!" "Man, it's real simple. On this side of the ring you've got Kenny King - the millionaire, the mansion, the yacht, along with Rhett Titus who makes the girlies hot. And on that other side of the ring, you've got the palest Mexican in the world Generico, and the fattest, most greasiest, tubbiest tag team champion in the world Kevin Steen. Man it all boils down to this: this is the future of Ring of Honor. Tonight, we stick a knife in the tires of the short bus you rode in on, and we keep it movin' all the way to the top. Let's do it."
TONIGHT! Titus & King vs. Generico and Steen! (#2)
UP NEXT! MAN UP! Jay Brisco will squash somebody!
But first, our ad break, featuring: NEXT ON HDNET: Get Out! "HDNet Concerts" spot - a Memorial Day Music Marathon! "HDNet Fights" spot ROHWrestling.com spot
EARLIER TONIGHT: More like six minutes ago - Ric Flair announces the "first ever Ring of Honor title match" - it's three weeks away (aka "main event of tomorrow's taping")! Here is a graphic reinforcing that match and that scheduling!
THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL WITH A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT SAMI CALLIHAN (Last house on the left - 201 pounds) vs. JAY BRISCOE (Sandy Fork, DE - 216 pounds - with Mark Briscoe) Referee: Remsburg Crowd chants "Man up!" so ... he does, I guess. This match was SLIGHTLY more competitive than the squash we saw earlier, but not enough to get me interested in giving you the blow by blow, so let's skip to the end. (Jay Driller -> pin 2:43) You can almost imagine Hogewood with the index card in front of him as he says "The Jay Driller, otherwise known as the double underhook piledriver..." KYLE DURDEN is out for comments. How's Mark's knee? Mark: "Yeah, man, it's doin' good, it's gettin' better every day, I know it's been a while but I'll be back in the ring in no time, baby." Another appearance of the UPCOMING LIVE RING OF HONOR DATES (poorly proofread) graphic as Durden asks Jay if he has any further comments. "Anything else? Eh? Only got two words for you, baby." Crowd fails to chant "Suck it" "You heard 'em - MAN UP!"
TONIGHT! It's the third time you've had to laugh at Rhett Titus' pucker face!
I guess because it's a tag team match, we are all spared the RING OF HONOR ON HDNET TALE OF THE TAPE. Nerts!
THIS MATCH IS A NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH - IT IS YOUR MAIN EVENT SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL WITH TELEVISION TIME REMAINING (about 38 minutes after the hour) KENNY KING & "ADDICTED TO LOVE" RHETT TITUS (438 pounds) vs. THE RING OF HONOR WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE GENERIC LUCHADOR EL GENERICO & "MR. WRESTLING" KEVIN STEEN (437 pounds) Referee: PAUL TURNER
King has a lucha mask on (I *believe* it's Blue Demon), which he then removes and treats very disrespectfully - or should I say, dishonorably™? This time, the chosen female fan at ringside does NOT take the hotel room key offered betwixt Titus' teeth. After much stalling, we eventually DO get something resembling the satisfaction of the Code of Honor™ as hands are shaken, or slapped, or pass closely by each other, four times. RING THE BELL! Generico and Titus starting. THRUST! It's a must! Finally, we...no, Generico makes a "numero uno" hand sign instead. NOW we lockup - side headlock by Titus - powered out by Generico, shoulderblock by Titus. Another shoulderblock off the ropes. Up and over - into a Mexican armdrag by Generico, armdrag, locking elbows, spinning, this must be some of that crazy "faux-lucha" style Generico must be famous for, spin, spin, nothing happening, spin, ANOTHE armdrag. Titus to the corner - time for a Ten Punch Count Along (which may have been in Spanish, but the vaunted crowd mic'ing fails me yet again) and it probably didn't go ten punches anyway. Titus shoves Generico off - and promptly runs right into a nice leg lariat. Olé! 1, 2, kickout by TItus. To his corner, tag to Steen. Scoop...and a slam. Generico on Steen's back for a SUPER SENTON which squishes Generico but it's okay, because he's not the legal man...heading back to his corner as Steen covers for 2. Knife-edge chop (woooo!) and Titus has an AMAZING look on his face to convey how much that hurts. Into the opposite corner, but Titus gets a boot up and makes the tag! King runs right into a powerslam, though. D'oh! Tag to Generico. Held open for the right hand by Generico. Into the ropes, drop toehold and holding him there for a Steen somersault guillotine legdrop (!) - Generico rolls him over and hooks the leg - 1, 2, King kicks out. We take a Double Feature-style replay of what we just saw. Meanwhile, King takes another right hand from Generico, falls back and takes a swipe at Steen in HIS corner, bringing him in and drawing Turner's attention away from the action. As Generico tries the whip, it's reversed, and Titus is waiting at the ropes, with a knee THROUGH the ropes to Generico's back. Titus runs at Generico, flying over the top rope to the floor and hot shotting Generico on his way down. Generico gets bouncy on his selling. King quickly back in after a brief pose on top of the barricade - 1, 2, no. Stomp! To his corner for a tag out to Titus. Double axehandle by Titus. Snapmares him over and gets to the mount and many many punches of dishonor™. THRUST! Stomp. Tag. Into the ropes, Titus with an atomic drop, then ducks as Titus comes off the ropes with a big clothesline. 1, 2, Generico kicks out. Stomp by King. Has two hands full of mask and backs him into his corner - now has a word with Turner while, behind his back, Titus wraps the tag rope around Generico's neck and pulls and pulls. We go to the "inexplicable two shot" which HDNet must have trademarked or something to get two angles of Titus choking on Generico. Generico wants to fight out, elbow to Titus, elbow to King, slap Titus, slap King, but that's not happening as King grabs him again. Tag out by King. Holding the headlock for the open kick by Titus. Into the ropes, BIG dropkick by Titus. 1, 2, shoulder up. One more thrust, why not. I think he's simulating sex with Generico's mask! Generico fires back, but no effect - right by Titus, slap by Generico, slap, right by Titus, into the corner, elbow up by Generico on the charge - BOOT up by Generico, springs from the second to the top buckle, crossbody LANDS and both men are down. Will we get the HOT TAG TO STEEN? Yep. King tagged in as well, clothesline by Steen on King, right for Titus, right for King, atomic drop on Titus, King into the ropes, up...and big back body drop down. Titus tries a clothesline, ducked, gets a boot in the gut, knife-edge chop (woooo!), into the ropes, head down, kick by Titus - Titus off the ropes landing in a big powerbomb by Steen. Sharpshooter does NOT happen as King makes a save. Just as well, Titus wasn't the legal man. Whip into the corner reversed by Steen - Steen charging in, King dumps him over the ropes onto the apron - Generico not far behind, charging in with a boot that DOES connect with King. Generico running to the opposite corner, leaping over the top and crashing onto Titus on the floor! Steen climbing the buckle - front somersault into a sentonbomb (!) connects - 1, 2, KING KICKS OUT OHHHHHHH. Steen struggles to believe. Generico wants the tag - he gets it. Steen setting up King for the package piledriver...but King recovers and dumps Steen over the top to the outside! Meanwhile, Titus trips up Generico, stunning him long enough for Titus to climb to the top ... but Generico recovers HIS wits and holds out the knee for Titus to atomic drop himself. That's a long way down. Generico wants the running Yakuza kick, says Prazak, but before he can run to the opposite corner, King heads him off with a BIG leg attack of his own! King calling for ... his move, I guess. Generico put on the top floor - King climbing up after him - shot by Generico, shot, shoves King backwards but he lands on his feet, springs back and lands a SOLID kick to Generico's head! Keep in mind, Generico is seated on top and King is leaping from the apron - very impressive. King is going to bring Generico back to the centre the hard way - fireman's carry into a spinning ... well, not an F5 because it ends up more like a uranage (Rock Bottom) - AND Titus immediately lands a top rope splash on top of THAT after King's out of the way. King covers - 1, 2, Steen saves! We take a replay of King's backflip through the spinny slammy stuff while Steen drags Generico to his corner - and fashions a tag. Gutshot for King, wants the package piledriver but King AGAIN fights out of the underhook - forearm, forearm, forearm, off the ropes, but eats a gutshot by Steen - Steen with a SPIKE DDT. Steen going up top - Titus over to punch him. Climbing up after him. THRUST IS A MUST. But that's enough time for Steen to break free, slide under Titus, crotch him on top, tie him in the Tree of Woe and ...run to the other corner to cannonball King? Okay. Back to Generico - springing off the top rope - all the way across the ring with a somersault into two heels to Titus' face!! Everybody's excited! King DOES eat that package piledriver, and Generico adds the brainbuster for good measure - Steen covers King - 1, 2, 3! (9:16 Sacto) Replay of the cannonball, the "holy shit," combo for the pin. But now THE AMERICAN WOLVES are out and taking boots and chairs to the champs. SHANE HAGADORN is also out and he's found a table from underneath the ring. He's having some difficulty but finally the table ends up in the ring. Sharpshooter on Steen. Looks like Generico is going to take a ride - on Edwards shoulders - Richards with the bulldog - we could say "through the table" or we could note that it's mostly Richards' butt taking the table apart, but it ends with two champs down and two Wolves holding the tag team title belts for dramatic effect. Hoge bemoans the missing Code of Honor™ as the American Wolves drop the title belts on Steen & Generico. Steen gets helped out by the REFS while Steen does the Angry Man in the middle of the ring. Credits are up and we're ALMOST out...
By the way: RING OF HONOR WORLD TITLE MATCH - 3 WEEKS AWAY! Jerry Lynn vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black vs. Austin Aries!
"You've been watching a special presentation of Ring of Honor on HDNet!"
RIC FLAIR APPEARANCES!! 5/29 at the HDNet Taping at The Arena in Philadelphia, PA! 6/12 Manassas, VA 6/13 Hammerstein Ballroom "in the heart of New York City!" All the deets at ROHWrestling.com
"Get Out" is next!
NEXT TIME ON RING OF HONOR: American Wolves TALK about what they've done! Briscoe, King & Omega have "a three-way melee!" And the aforementioned "main event brouhaha!" 8 Eastern, next Saturday night! And I'll (probably) be back too!
Maybe so, but I'd rather someone who might be overacting but atleast seems comfortable in her own skin and not too nervous compared to some of the girls out there that seem to be a deer in a headlight look on there face whenever the TV lights are on.