To Commemorate Earth Day, Don't Print This Recap Out
by Christopher Robin Zimmerman Recapper of Honor™
PERSONAL CRAP UP FRONT: Hey, Rick! Thanks for the plugs! Now stop editing out my super cool signature graphic already!
Hey, Mark Cuban! I haven't heard anything about that grant yet! Come on, man!
Hey, Annie! Thanks for the emails! You are the ONLY person who emailed me!
Hey, Nykk! Thanks for the (more than a few) nice mentions over on the ROHWrestling.com board which I never noticed until now! You should come back to the board sometime!
Hey, DEAN! Everyone should go read your Workrate Reports over at the Death Valley Driver Video Review board after they're done here! Like THIS one!
Hey, YOU! Are you talking about me on YOUR board? Let me know, 'cause I must be using the wrong search engines and I haven't seen it yet.
But enough about what YOU think about me...let's talk about ME!
My original plan was to write up the initial set of six shows coming from the first set of tapings and then re-evaluate. We're at that week now. At this point, barring something incredibly annoying happening during tonight's episode and totally turning me off to this product in the process, I now think I'm good for one more set of six episodes - hell, if I could give twelve hours to "ECW", I suppose I can make the same commitment to ROH. That will PROBABLY do it for me, though.
CABLE GUIDE SEZ: The main event is a fight between veteran Bryan Danielson and newcomer Tyler Black. (HDTV) TV-14,CC,Stereo. HD "Newcomer?"
"You are watching a special presentation of Ring of Honor wrestling on HDNet!"
Open - THIS is RING OF HONOR WRESTLING #6, coming to you from The Arena in Philadelphia, PA and airing 4/28/09 (taped 3/1) on HDNet! Like you, I'm wondering if we'll ever actually see a Bison Smith MATCH and not just a Bison Smith Opening Montage clip.
TONIGHT: This time Tyler Black is described with the word "youngster." Well, that's....better?
Your hosts are MIKE HOGEWOOD, DAVE PRAZAK and THE GREEN SCREEN. Hoge says tonight's show features their strongest lineup yet - I hope he doesn't start saying stuff like that months from now! Dave says tonight's main event features two of the tippy-toppiest athletes in ROH.
TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT: Get used to this graphic of Bryan Danielson and Tyler Black - you may very well be seeing it ALL HOUR LONG. Of course, we can't get to the main event without dealing with some other business, so let's open with - yes - an opening match, and one of the guys in it...check that, two guys...
SMACKTALK: "Hey, folks. I'm the littlest lumberjack, GRIZZLY REDWOOD, and this is my partner ANDY 'RIGHT LEG' RIDGE. And we're here in Ring of Honor, and on HDNet, to chop ALL the competition right down to size."
THE 1...2...3!!! on GRIZZLY REDWOOD & ANDY "RIGHT LEG" RIDGE: Grizzly is a lumberjack / Ridge is a recent graduate of the ROH Wrestling Academy / Finishing Hold(s): Top rope double axe handle (Grizzly), Superkick (Ridge)
"Grizzly is a lumberjack?" Seriously? Nothing gives an immediate "ham-n-egger" vibe like that promo and those things I need to know. This one should go quick...
SMACKTALK: "Time and time again, we've tried to tell you people that we will be the baddest tag team in ROH - well, now it's time for us to SHOW you that we will be the baddest tag team in ROH and if there's anybody out there who don't LIKE it, DO something about it!" "We DARE ya."
THE 1...2...3!!! on DARK CITY FIGHT CLUB: See ROH #3
ANDY "RIGHT LEG" RIDGE & THE LITTLEST LUMBERJACK GRIZZLY REDWOOD (435 pounds) v. KORY CHAVIS & JON DAVIS, THE DARK CITY FIGHT CLUB (508 pounds) Referee: BRYCE REMSBURG Time limit: 15 minutes
Redwood is a short man in flannel (sleeveless) and suspenders. Oh, and the Scott Ian-length beard. That should give you the mental picture. He strides right to the center to offer his hand for the Handshake of Honor™ to some disbelief from Davis. I forgot to answer my math question last week, so I will now tell you that the answer is FOUR handshakes - except in this match, where it's only three because Chavis only shakes Ridge's hand. Or I missed it. Let's move on. The weekly crawl from HDNet asking us if we're watching at a friend's house - is anybody actually watching this at a friend's house? I mean, I think this thing is only watched by people with a laptop who feel compelled to provide commentary to the world about what they're watching on TV....but I said we were moving on. Let's do it - TOGETHER! Ridge and Davis start. I hope that's actually Davis and that I have managed to remember enough to tell them apart. I'm concerned this match will somehow end up going twelve minutes despite looking like it should be SQUASH CITY. Geez, I have done everything I could do avoid calling this match. Let's put in a paragraph break and shock the hell out of everyone.
HERE WE GO. Hog asks me to check out Ridge's right leg - all I notice is that the pants are tucked in on that side - big whoop. Lockup, Ridge shoved back, big forearm, forearm in the back, scoop...and a slam. Head to the buckle. Tag to Chavis. Backed into the corner, Davis whips Chavis into the corner with the charge. (Hoge: "AOOOOAOAOAOAOAAHHHHHHHH") Butterfly suplex out by Chavis. There's a forearm in the back. Knee uppercut to the chin. Tag to Davis. Into the ropes with him, picked up - tandem stunner/faceplant. (Prazak: "Combination ace crusher!") Perhaps you can get a sense of the disparity in commentary styles above. FINISH HIM. No, Davis throws him to Redwood for a tag. Redwood hikes up his suspenders, ducks one clothesline, 180 to duck another clothesline, wants a Mexican armdrag (!) but Davis doesn't move so Redwood is kinda stopped in mid-attempt - this quickly shifts to Davis converting with a nice suplex. Thrown to HIS corner and Chavis tags in. Redwood tries a shot, but Chavis takes him down. We take a look at the UPCOMING LIVE RING OF HONOR DATES - 4/24 in Dayton, OH happened the night before this show aired (d'oh!) and 4/25 in Chicago Ridge, IL is surely starting shortly. Log on to rohwrestling.com for ticket info (good luck) and come back to OO later for Rick's onsite report from the Dayton show (unless he didn't get comped)! Right hands by Redwood are ineffective, knee in the gut by Chavis is not. Tag to Davis. Open right hand while Chavis exposes him. Half hour suplex by Davis. 1, 2, Ridge breaks it up - aw, geez, eough already. Tag to Chavis. Redwood's head meets the buckle, shoulder in the gut. Into the opposite corner - free shot for Ridge - charge to Redwood MISSES! Redwood is getting FIRED up! DOWN COME THE SUSPENDERS! But Davis is in with a POUNNNNNNNNCUHperiod that stops any follow-through. We take the Double Feature style replay of that while Ridge manages to tag himself in - meeting Chavis in the centre - back leg front kick, again, doesn't seem to have an effect, pumping up for ANOTHER big kick, no, off the ropes and Chavis meets him with an elbow. Tag to Davis - both men have him up - and thrown him down. Here comes another one - double team powerbomb/neckbreaker - 1, 2, 3, FINALLY. (4:30) "Wrestling Challenge" style squash, so as a lover of the old school I shouldn't complain....but....come on. I'm not sure if they shook the hand of Ridge's corpse after the match or not, but they surely didn't go out on the floor where Redwood was...fans help him up, but he goes right back down. Those fans...they're part of the show, baby! Blaaaaa. Replay of the last move, which may or may not have been the Dark City Street Cutter (nobody called it that this week, but I DID read the 1...2...3!!! on them). Are they making parking lot challenges for later?
Backstage we head to Ring of Honor reporter KYLE DURDEN for a few words from Bryan Danielson. "I'm not worried about who the fans are behind tonight. I've been a dominant force in Ring of Honor since the very beginning. I've knocked out the biggest and baddest and I've tapped out the quickest and slickest. Tyler Black, you're one hell of an athlete - but athletes, they come and go - tonight, I'm gonna see if you're here to stay, if you're for real or not, and all these people, all these people that are behind you - we're gonna see if they're right or they're wrong."
TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT: Just in case you weren't paying attention...but don't feel like you have to, becuase surely they'll show this graphic two or three more times tonight
We head straight to the ring to join the next match with both participants already in the ring, for reasons which will soon become evident...
NIGEL McGUINNESS (already in the ring - London, ENG - 242 pounds) v. ALEX "SUGARFOOT" PAYNE (already in the ring - Des Moines, IA - 177 pounds - Increasingly arrogant, cocky and disrespectful) Referee: TODD SINCLAIR Time limit: Let's go ahead and guess on 15 minutes?
Clearly we have had to engage in some creative editing, as McGuinness surely came to the ring carrying a championship he no longer holds, and for them to go a THIRD week exposing how old these tapes are is probably a bad idea. I'm going to take a risk here and assume he also was the man who came out second. Hey, this is new - a man in the ring with THE STICK: "After years of bleeding in this ring - after years of sweating in this ring - years of torn biceps, of herniated discs, of concussions - it seems I still don't have the respect of you wankers." Camera manages to find not only a guy in a SLAP NUTS T-shirt but ALSO a guy in an AUSTIN 3:16 T-shirt. That'll sell some ROH merchandise! "And I'll be honest, I kind of prefer it that way, because why would I want the respect of a bunch of ignorant, socially maladjusted, disease ridden moppets? I'm gonna take your disrespect in here and I'm gonna use it against whatever unfortunate soul I happen to be wrestling, which unfortunately for him is Alex 'Sugarfoot' Payne, and when I do, you can all kiss my beautiful, British ARSSSSSSSSE." Crowd dutifully strikes up the "USA" chant whilst Payne tries to get the jump on McGuinness with a dishonorable™ dropkick. There's another. Forearm, forearm, forearm, McGuinness headbutts his gut, into the corner, elbow up by Payne, bulldog out, he's fired up!, but only gets MAYBE 1. In the corner, whip out - no, Nigel isn't moving. Another try, another fail. McGuinness grabs Payne's head, bends him backwards and brings up his leg for a knee/shin strike to the neck and back. Thus ends Payne's controlling part of this match, I think. McGuinness bars the arm - then suplexes him from there. Knee to the temple. Payne fires back, no dice, elbow by McGuinness. Was that a CHICKENWING suplex? Crazy. Inverted hammerlock...then kicks out the legs so Payne falls forward. McGuinness making it hard by using moves I haven't seen forever. Prazak offers the "Divorce Court" call. McGuinness still working Payne's shoulder - stepover, bringing him down by the arm, STILL has it between his legs and for good measure, brings his leg behind Payne's head to stretch his neck as well. Remind me to go figure out what THAT is. Payne doesn't tap - McGuinness rakes his eyes for added punishment. Payne somehow has a foot on the rope, so we break that. McGuinness wants a bodyslam but Payne goes down the back and escapes - then drops down and rolls up McGuinness with a Marc Mero "feet-in-the-armpits" rollup for a surprise 2! Forearm by Payne, forearm, forearm, off the ropes but eats the LARIATOOOOOOOOO. McGuinness quickly puts Payne on the top buckle, hits the Tower of London (DDT from the top buckle) and he ain't gettin' up. 1, 2, 3. (3:20)
Not surprisingly, Kyle Durden now has Tyler Black for a few words. He's a quickly rising star in Ring of Honor, and defeating Danielson could make his star shine brighter than it has before. "Yeah...you know, that's true, and there are a lot of people out there who think that Bryan Danielson is the best wrestler alive. But on the other hand, there are a lot of naysayers out there who think that's just a tagline. Well those people Kyle, those people are crazy, because I've grown up watching and idolising Bryan Danielson and let me tell you something, he is the best wrestler in the world. And you said my star is shining bright, and tonight it's got an opportunity to shine brigher, well you are right because in tonight's main event, I'm gonna prove that I've got what it takes to hang with the best in the world."
TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT: Here's another look at the hot, hot graphic all the kids are talking about
UP NEXT! ANOTHER tag team bout? "Steen/Briscoe vs. Hero/Edwards" is on the other side of this break! Believe it....or not!
Our ad break tonight features spots for: ROHWrestling.com HDNet Fights (more than one)
AND WE'RE BACK - cameras have now found a fan with a homemade "FLIPPIN IDIOT" T-shirt - wow, they're really making you want to BE THERE tonight. Hog says "Let's set up our next match" so let's go to
SMACKTALK: "You've got the athletic prowess of the American Wolf EDDIE EDWARDS, the KO precision of that young knockout kid CHRIS HERO and Sweet 'n' Sour Larry Sweeney is at the helm, and that's a recipe for disaster!" "See, apparently the boys here at Ring of Honor Wrestling haven't quite learned, you keep poking at a wolf, and soon enough you'll need crutches to get around." "Hey listen baby, LARRY SWEENEY's got a lion and a wolf against, what, a Canadian pig and a Delaware hillbilly? Huh? Huh? Hillbilly bacon? This is a deal that Sweet & Sour, Inc. - we're gonna close. Ha ha ha! And there ain't no doubt about it." Y'know, I've come to like this Larry Sweeney. And I'm gonna miss him.
SMACKTALK: "Hey man, tonight I'm gonna get revenge on them boys for what they did to your knee." "Damn right, baby, but...you're teaming with that husky bastard Kevin Steen - how's that gon' be?" "Let me TELL you how it's gonna work. You know what? You don't like me, and I don't like you, but those Wolves did the exact same thing to my partner Generico, and tonight I want the same thing you do. So what do you say we put our differences aside and just do this?" "Let's get it done." "Yeah?" "Yo."
EDDIE EDWARDS & THAT YOUNG KNOCKOUT KID, CHRIS HERO (555 pounds - representing Sweet 'n' Sour Inc. - with Larry Sweeney and Sara del Rey) v. JAY BRISCOE & a co-holder of the Ring of Honor World Tag Team Championship "MR. WRESTLING" KEVIN STEEN (554 pounds) Referee: PAUL TURNER Time limit: 15 minutes
Again, we get a team with the jump as Edwards and Hero forego the Code of Honor™ for the ol' Pearl Harbor attack. As the bell rings, Hoge gets very agitated, telling us "I DID NOT HEAR A BELL!" Oh boy. Edwards dispatches Briscoe and the doubleteam turns to Steen - into the ropes, two heads down, Steen kicks Edwards away, ducks a clothesline from Hero and Briscoe is back in to take HIM down with a clothesline that takes them BOTH out of the ring (and almost taking out the cameraman in the process). We miss how Steen knocks down Edwards by the time we're shifted back into the ring, but Steen is in command. Shot in the corner. Whip is reversed, but Steen pops out with a clothesline that connects. Shoved in the corner, right hand, right, right, right, right. Stomp, stomp, stomp. He's ready for the WWE! Stomp. Pulling Edwards' hair. Backhand chop. Hero runs the apron but HE eats a chop. Sweeney - SHAKES HIS FIST! Head to the buckle. Tag to Briscoe. Stomp by Briscoe. Elbow, chop, into the opposite corner, full head of steam on the clothesline. Off the ropes, dropkicks the head. Press - Hero breaks it up quick.y. Forearm in the back. Tag to Steen. Headbutt by Steen to the open Edwards. Edwards manages a forearm and a tag. Steen blocks Hero, righr, right, boot up by Hero, another boot, into the ropes, blind tag by Briscoe, Briscoe with a back elbow off the reversal of the whip. Briscoe with a right hand. Head to the buckle. Hero ping-ponged between punches by Briscoe and Steen from his corner. Briscoe with an elbow. Hero into the ropes - Briscoe with a dropkick. 1, kickout. Whip out of the corner - Sweeney grabs Briscoe's ankle - long enough for Hero to recover - but eats a boot coming in. Briscoe up on the top buckle - Hero manages to a running dropkick to Briscoe's head that takes Briscoe off the buckle and down to the floor! There's a swarm on the outside, with Edwards, Del Rey AND Sweeney all getting some boots in - we also take time to note the "Upcoming" ROH live dates as that graphic pops up one more time. NOW we take a TRIPLE feature, all of which are showing live action from different angles. This seems more like something they wanted to try out than something that useful to you, the viewer. But now MARK BRISCOE is gimping out to try to put a stop to all these shenanigans outside the ring - he manages to get Edwards to head back to his corner, but Hero is bringing Jay back into the ring and well in control of this match. Crowd tries the "Man up" chant on. Just 1 on the cover. Hero with a kick to the face. Brisco with a fist back. They trade but Hero's are doing more damage. Uppercut knee. Head ran into Edwards' boot. Held open after the tag for a chop by Edwards. Into the ropes, elbow. 1, 2, no. Edwards with a headlock - Brisco tries to punch out - Briscoe alternating forearms to Edwards with back elbows to Hero on the apron - running leap...but Edwards has him caught and out of range. Somehow Briscoe goes over the top and rolls up Edwards, who rolls back - Briscoe ducks the running kick, but Edwards grabs the legs to make sure he can't tag. Dragged to the corner - but Hero is too busy taunting Mark to make the tag - ah, he's back there now - up and over the top rope, landing with a stomp onto Jay. Prazak says this is the CRAVAT and who am I to argue. Brisco elbowing out - manages, but runs into a discus...not really a rolling elbow since he didn't really connect with the elbow, but again I won't argue with Prazak. 1, 2, no. Tag to Edwards. Crowd singing soccer anthems for some reason. Boot by Edwards, tag to Hero again. Into the corner. Slingshot whip meets a boot - Hero catches Briscoe's NEXT boot attempt, but Briscoe ducks the clothesline, chops HIM in the corner (woooo!), then hits a reverse leg sweep that puts Edwards's headbutt RIGHT into Hero's...er...lower regions! This might a good time for the - yes - HOT TAG TO STEEN! Down goes Edwards! Down goes Hero! Down goes Edwards! Down goes Hero! Atomic drop for Hero, belly-to-belly suplex, FIRED UP but Hero gets him from behind. Into the ropes, head down (DON'T PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN DUMMY), Steen kicks him, then rams HERO shoulder-first into Edwards on the apron! Head of steam - cannonball in the corner on Hero! Moonsault coming up - it hits (his thighs)! - 1, 2, NO! Steen bringing him up - package piledriver attempt? Hero falls to his knees - Steen brings him up - forearm, forearm, off the ropes, but Hero sidesteps, uses Steen's momentum against him, taking him to the ropes and connecting on the rebound with another (discus) ROLLING ELBOW! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO! Hero brings Steen back up - into the ropes, wants ANOTHER rolling elbow but Steen blocks it (somehow), forearm by Steen, forearm, forearm, into the ropes, but not only was there a blind tag but Hero manages a dropkick from the perpindicular - and then Edwards is off the second rope with a codebreaker AND Hero manages yet another Rolling Elbow, this time to the back of Steen's head! So...the tide has turned. 1, 2, NO! Hoge was sure that was three. Eh. Both man are still in and on Steen - chop by Edwards, elbow to the back of the neck by Hero, chop, elbow - looking for a doubleteam as they both head for opposite ropes - Hero taken out when Jay low-bridges him while Steen ducks Edwards' clothesline, has him up, powerbombs him down, 1, 2, KICKOUT, but Steen goes right into a Sharpshooter (!) but before Edwards will even THINK about tapping, it's Sweeney on the apron. Steen goes ahead and lets go to take a swipe at HIM - Sweeney on the floor and begging off...now Mark is slowly limping towards Sweeney, chair in hand - meanwhile, Edwards has managed to regain himself and PASTES Steen with a Big Boot - and Steen makes like lumber. We look back down where Hero and Mark are playing with the chair...and now JAY leaps off the apron and takes Hero out with a clothesline to the floor! Back in, gutshot by Steen, package piledriver, leg is hooked, 1, 2, 3. (9:57) Wow. A clusterfuck of ... well, not quite EPIC proportions, but definitely left a mess on the carpet. You know what that needed? About three or four more people at ringside. Replay of the clothesline on Hero, and the package piledriver on Edwards. As they leave, Briscoe tells the camera, "he's got my belt!" and points back at Steen.
MAIN EVENT NEXT! Let's look at the specially-OO-unformatted
ROH Wrestling on HDNet TALE OF THE TAPE BRYAN DANIELSON TYLER BLACK 185 lbs. WEIGHT 222 lbs. 1999 PRO DEBUT 2005 2/23/02 "The Era of Honor Begins" ROH DEBUT 9/15/2007 "Man Up" Aberdeen, WA FROM Davenport, IA
THE 1...2...3!!! on TYLER BLACK: See ROH #1
THE 1...2...3!!! on BRYAN DANIELSON: See ROH #3
TYLER BLACK (Davenport, IA - 222 pounds - Strong fan favorite) v. AMERICAN DRAGON BRYAN DANIELSON (Aberdeen, WA - 185 pounds - Nickname: "Best wrestler in the world") Referee: Sinclair Time limit: 20 minutes
Interesting, they didn't say "TV time remaining" this week - and when I say "interesting," I mean "interesting only to me" - unless we find out later it's a 20 minute draw - D'OH, I sure hope I didn't just spoiler myself (and YOU!) somehow...
"Commentators" graphic here. Crowd chants ...I THINK it's "ROH" but after the Handshake of Honor™ it quickly morphs into "You're gonna get your fuckin' head kicked in." Danielson is bemused, which bemuses the commentators. All right, let's go - lockup after a lot of circling, Black with a quick toss and everybody's back on their feet. Knuckle lock coming up - Black with a a back leg sweep and gets 1. They're still in the knuckle lock. Several 1s by Black until Danielson decides on a fairly sweet bridge. Crowd is too busy patting themselves on the back with their dueling "Let's go Tyler"/"Let's go Dragon" chants to appreciate the mat classic-ness of it all. Black tries to roll forward, then roll back with a leg attack, but Danielson's bridge holds steady. Black is going to try the same thing again. No dice. Black on top but not sure what to do - he's going to try AGAIN, but this time after he lifts up his legs, Danielson brings HIS legs back to plant on Black's midsection - everybody rolls back onto their feet, Danielson drops down with a monkey flip attempt but Black does more of a cartwheel to land on his feet instead. Well, THAT was a whole bunch of jerking off. I haven't heard this in a while, but it's time to bust out that old chestnut: INDY RESPECT! Crowd is delighted that they know to clap here. Back to feeling out - Danielson shoots and grabs a leg - neutral action leads to Danielson with a leg - now has another one of those submission holds I should know the name of but probably forgot ten years ago. It's a leglace with the other boot applying pressure on his knee. It doesn't matter. None of this matters. Black's not giving up this early - Black separates Danielson's legs but we're back to fighting from the knuckle lock - only this time it's Black on bottom and he's still got one of Danielson's legs trapped between...uh...HIS legs. That looks like it could be painful to Black, actually. Anyway, Danielson gets rolled onto his belly after Black manages to break the knuckle lock, but before Black can grab Danielson's leg into some OTHER submission hold I don't know the name of, Danielson opts for grabbing the bottom rope. So back we go. Prazak has been talking about some prior history between these two - Black hasn't defeated Danielson one on one, but HAS gotten the duke in some tag matches they've both been in. Lockup. Side headlock by Black - into the ropes, breaks it, but shoudler by Black. Scoop....and a slam. Big stomp - MISSES when Danielson rolls away and wags a finger at him. YES! The DEVASTATING finger wag! Dueling chants fire up again. Danielson takes him down with a leg lace - now going for a...bow and arrow? Has a chinlock in one hand and the legs tied up with the other. Black grabs a rope after breaking the chinlock. Danielson holds it until 4. Black wants the knuckle lock but Danielson staving him off. Danielson daring him, but still holding him off. Finally tied up - but in the corner. European uppercut by Danielson! Black with a shove - he's getting less happy. Danielson backing off - BLACK daring him to step forward. Lockup - into the ropes - Black with a shoulder into the gut instead of a clean break. Into the ropes, Danielson holds on - so Black completes a backflip instead of his dropkick attempt - then catches Danielson coming in with a flying head scissors! Black covers - but only gets 2. Black to the armbar. Let's get the replay. Black has switched to a wristlock when we come back. Danielson rolling out and reversing - into the ropes, head down, Black leaps over him, turns back, snapmare, foot on the neck, STOMPS on the neck. 1, 2, Danielson kicks out. I guess it was the JAW, not the neck. Black with a dishonorable™ right hand. Pops him in the corner. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Brings him up - but Danielson surprises him with a European uppercut! There's another! Danielson with a snapmare - running kick to the back, has the legs - going for a surfboard? Well, has his palate instead - that can't be legal - sure enough, he breaks at 4 but goes RIGHT into the surfboard - rocking back, again, and now HAS him - for good measure, adds a DRAGON SLEEPER. Black manages to roll forward onto his own knees but Danielson STILL has it locked in - Black grbas the hair, no, right, right, right, right and that DOES get it broken. ROHWrestling.com popup. Danielson squares up and kicks him in the face. Kick across the chest and Black is back down. Black back on a knee - Danielson with a running leg. 1, 2, no. Danielson IMMEDIATELY grabs an ankle and bends his leg back. Black thinking "ropes" and manages to crawl there. Danielson breaks at 4 and then STOMPS on him for good measure. Sinclair isn't happy but Danielson reminds him he's following the rules. European uppercut. Black fires back with a knife-edge chop (woooo!). Danielson uppercut - Black chop - Danielson uppercut - tries a scoop but Black goes down the back - to the ropes - they roll back - Black grabbing the trunks? - 1, 2, Danielson kicks out. Danielson with ANOTHER European uppercut and Black is down again. Arm wringer - into the ropes, Danielson BURIES the knee. Has the hair, Black shoves him off. We repeat that. Danielson hauls off and slaps him in the face! ANOTHER slap. A third time. Off the ropes, but Black baaaack body drops him down. Clothesline, clothesline, off the ropes, DOUBLE clothesline takes both men down...Black rolling outside. Danielson thinking about a tope - TOPE SUICIDA through the ropes CONNECTS! Danielson grabs his back after hitting the barricade but that one hurt Black more. Black thrown back in - Danielson climbing the corner - but meets with a dropkick by Black on his way down! That'll give us enough dead time for one more Replay of the dropkick. Sinclair is up to 5 as both men are up - Black ducks, cartwheel kick by Black finds the mark! Firing himself up - running elbow in the corner lands. Climbing up after him - Frankensteiner out of the corner! 1, 2, Danielson kicks out! Black continuing to pound the mat and fire himself up. Danielson - reversed - but Danielson eats a boot coming in. Black takes a shoulder as HE comes in - Danielson ducks a boot - but spins into a dropkick. Danielson outside - and now BLACK is going to fly - there's a HILO that...didn't really land, actually, but Danielson sells it like a trooper anyway. BOTH men are outside the ring and flat on their backs. "ROH" chant. Kid in front row: "Hi!" Black up first, Danielson back in, Black wants HIS turn from the top - springboard clothesline lands - leg is hooked - 1, 2, no. Danielson looks PEEVED! Black's suplex attempt - sorry, Black's God's Last Gift attempt is blocked - Danielson shoved back into the corner, right, right, right, whip out of the corner, but Danielson does a no-hands climb in the corner, backflips over the charging Black, grabs a waistlock, Black frees himself, wants the PELE kick but Danielson catches the leg and takes him down with a heel hook! Black trying to fight it off but registering much pain. The ropes seem very far away...but he DOES manage to grab the bottom rope! Crowd chanting "This is awesome" - it's been a rough night for them, I guess. Black flips back out of the overhead German suplex attempt - but in landing on his feet, goes RIGHT for the damaged ankle. He STILL manages to run up and take down Danielson with a Frankensteiner, but Danielson rolls through THAT and gets 2! Danielson dropkicks the knee after Black gets up. But Black gets up again, catches Danielson coming in, gets him across his back, and then drops him face first. Wants the superkick but Danielson catches THAT and goes right back to the heel hook! AGAIN Black is struggling to reach the ropes - and rotates over...NOOOOOO Danielson pulling him back - and know they're on their feet - German suplex by Danielson - bridging - 1, 2, NO! Danielson is again heaving for dramatic effect. Danielson stands over him, slap - slap - slap - this is so disrespectful! Has him by the hair - set up on the top buckle - climbing up after him - top rope German supereplex is COUNTERED into a splash by Black! We'll give THAT a replay - somehow, in midair, Black turned it into a crossbody with both of them from the top all the way to the mat. Sinclair is up to 8 when Danielson gets up, Black is up, elbow by Danielson, right by Black, elbow by Danielson, Black, Danielson, Black, Danielson, Black, DISCUS elbow by Danielson, they run the ropes, taken down by Danielson but Black rolls into a from-the-mat ENZUIGIRI that stuns Danielson! Got him up - "Paroxysm" says Prazak - "uhh....super Slop Drop" says CRZ - Black covers - 1, 2, NO! "One minute remaining in the time limit - one minute!" Hoo boy. Crowd boos, so I can't be alone here. Black wants the phoenix splash - twisting off the top rope with the somersault, but no water in THAT pool as Danielson rolls away BUT Black lands on his feet (clutching, his ankle AGAIN), rolling through but eating a knee from Danielson. Danielson quickly locks on the triangle choke he won with three weeks ago...Black manages to get to his feet, pick Danielson up with his NECK - throws him in with the BUCKLE BOMB (which is how HE got the duke, we were told previously) - both men are down and out....and there's the bell. There is only one decision for the official to make - the ol' time limit draw. (Draw 20:01) Oh, bullSHIT. I have no beef with a time limit draw but would it have KILLED them to NOT break the routine they established over every single episode of the show to date in order to completely telegraph the finish before the match even starts? Why the hell BOTHER? And yet.....I did it anyway, didn't I. I HATE being pathetic. What a sucker. Crowd chants "Five more minutes" which Hoge somehow hears as "One more minute" - but he eventually corrects himself, at least. I guess there WAS a little TV time remaining since we're still staring at these two guys. Hey, will they shake hands? Of course they will. IT'S A CODE OF HONOR™, PEOPLE. Danielson raises Black's hand - and we're done. Someone was so excited they forgot to put up the copyright notice!
NEXT TIME: Ric Flair! Ric Flair! Ric Flair! Also, some matches, I think. Austin Aries and Roderick Strong, for sure. That's your main event.
"You've been watching a special presentation of Ring of Honor wrestling on HDNet!" Is it still "special" if it's been the sixth week in a row? When does it STOP being special? Just curious.
Catch ROH in Boston 5/8 (Case Gym at BU, 8PM bell time) and 5/9 in the Inman Sports Club in Edison, NJ (7:30PM bell time)! Jerry Lynn, Bryan Danielson, Tyler Black and many more are scheduled to appear! If you're patient, there's more info at ROHWrestling.com!
XFC 8: Regional Conflict is NEXT!
Hey, it's Ric Flair! "Hey this is the Nature Boy Ric Flair, 16 times YOUR world champion, custom made from head to toe - the greatest wrestler who ever lived telling you to watch Ring of Honor on HDNet - it's second to NONE. Wooooooo - wooo." Graphic: "Ring of Honor Wrestling: Ric Flair coming May 2nd 8:00PM ET" Let's see what that does for 'em...
If we're going to fantasy backflash book, how about a fuzzy view of some nerd (let's say, a long haired middle aged wrestling nerd just identified by some initials or something) teaching Trips how to email his general manager messages to Cole.