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The W - Pro Wrestling - Ring of Honor on HDNet #2 28.3.09
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The (ROH) Champ is Here

by Christopher Robin Zimmerman
Bylines are irrelevant

Hey, Rick, italicize THIS.

Last Friday my wife and I went to the TNA house show in Rochester, MN, and after CROSSING THE LINE LIVE I have absolutely no qualms about heartily endorsing the TNA house show experience. "iMPACT!" may be one of the most God-awful television shows on the air, and the fed may be booked by a bunch of chimps, but TNA definitely knows how to put on a house show that is fun to watch and worth the ticket price. It certainly helps when practically everybody over 40 (or are they 50 by now?) has contracts that keep them safe in the Old Stiffs Home at The Impact Zone and far, FAR away from house shows. Besides, when else are you going to see an IWGP tag team title defense in freakin' ROCHESTER, MINNESOTA?!

(I STILL won't pay for Lockdown, though.)

Reactions to episode #1 were predictable and expected - the ROHbots bemoaned the terrible watering down of their product, and everybody else said "eh - it wasn't BAD or anything." I guess the Big Question boils down to what ROH/HDNet is getting out of this deal, and if it's worth it. My feeling is: why the heck not? Maybe this will bring HDNet the critical mass of awareness to push it ahead to a higher level amongst the cable netlets. Maybe it won't! But what does it hurt to try? As programming moves go, it's certainly not going to HURT them, given their current schedule of shows. As for ROH, ANY move which brings greater awareness must surely be seen as preferable to one that keeps them exactly where they are - and keep in mind that "exactly where they are" is the sort of place that tends to lead you to the kind of very slow, painful decline that people will deny right up until the inevitable shutdown. Now obviously I'm not saying that this is the sort of move that, without, they'd shutter up TOMORROW, but hopefully you know what I mean.

Of course, given that I'm doing essentially the same shit I was doing back in 1999, there is NO WAY you should take ANYTHING I say as credible...speaking of which...

I GET CORRECTED: geemoney can tell Bruno Sammartino from the late Lou Thesz, whereas I have a problem delineating the alive from the dead. Also, The Cubs Fan (does he still write here?) informs me that Kenny King was a contestant on "WWE Tough Enough 2" so I HAVE seen him before....I just don't remember it.

OKAY! LET'S GO

CABLE GUIDE INFO SEZ: Nigel McGuinness fights Jay Briscoe; other fighters include Kevin Steen, Eddie Edwards and Claudio Castignoli. (HDTV) TV-14, CC, Stereo. HD NEW

CRZ SEZ: Hmmm....anybody watching this with the closed captions on? How's that working?

"You're watching a special presentation of Ring of Honor wrestling on HDNet!"

As we watch the opening package, let me take a moment to let you know that THIS is RING OF HONOR WRESTLING #2, from the Alhambra Arena in Philadelphia, PA, airing 28.3.9 (taped 28.2) in unparallelled HIGH DEFINITION on HDNet.

PREVIOUSLY ON RING OF HONOR: Here's the final moment of last week's main event. I COULD tell you about it again, but instead I'll direct you to Recap #1.

TONIGHT: ROH Champ Nigel McGuinness takes on Jay Briscoe in tonight's main event!

From in front of the green screen, MIKE HOGEWOOD and DAVE PRAZAK sure look forward to seeing the Champion in action tonight! It might be a nontitle matchup, but....well, they never finish that sentence but it's definitely coming up tonight! But first things first, and as logic demands, we will open with an opening contest...

As they did last week, we start by getting to know our combatants with a few short words in the form of an old school style promo...

SMACKTALK: Hmm, but THIS time it's not the wrestler talking! "Ahhhhahaha! You're lookin' at Sweet & Sour - LARRY SWEENEY, head of the most dominant empire in professional wrestling - Sweet & Sour, Incorporated! El Generico, we took you out last time, and my man EDDIE EDWARDS - Kevin Steen, we are comin' atcha, and we're gonna put you down..." and then Sweeney starts sounding like "AYYYYDOWNNSTAAA - AHHHHHHHHHHHH" so I gave up - maybe he snuck an "HDNet" in there - naaaaaah

THE 1...2...3!!! ON EDDIE EDWARDS: A striker / Trained by Hall of Famer Killer Kowalski / Spent time in Pro Wrestling NOAH's dojo in Japan

SMACKTALK: "My name is KEVIN STEEN and I'm one half of the Ring of Honor tag team champions. The American Wolves think they can take out my partner El Generico without any repercussion? Big mistake. Tonight, not only am I getting revenge, but I'm gonna show the world, thanks to HDNet, why they call me 'Mr. Wrestling.'"

THE 1...2...3!!! ON KEVIN STEEN: Defeated Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black to win titles at "Driven 2008" / Currently battling the American Wolves of Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards / Finishing Hold(s): package piledriver, sharpshooter

EDDIE EDWARDS (Boston, MA - 215 pounds - representing Sweet & Sour, Inc. - with LARRY SWEENEY) v. "MR. WRESTLING" KEVIN STEEN (Meriville, QC, Canada - 238 pounds - co-holder of the Ring of Honor World tag team championship - popup graphic: "Great speed and Agility / Fan Favorite")
Referee: PAUL TURNER
TIME LIMIT: 15 minutes

Seriously, though, what the heck kinda name is "Sweet & Sour, Inc." anyway? Sweeney conspicuously uses his mobile phone during the entrance, so I am compelled to note it here. We are told that these men normally compete with tag team partners and that these tag teams have quite a rivalry. Tonight, however, it's singles. "Mis-ter-wrest-ling" chant from the fans. Looks like we already have our first No-handshake of Honor of the night. Turner seems remarkably well miked, compared to, say, the crowd. Lockup, to the corner, switch, switch, rollingn to the adjacent corner - Steen lets him off at 4, but Edwards kicks the gut and grabs the headlock. Steen powers out, off the ropes, they meet in the middle but nobody moves. Edwards dares him - Steen off the ropes, nobody moves. Edwards off the ropes, no. Shove by Edwards, Steen with a slap. Steen ducks a clothesline, off the ropes and ducks again, THIS time the shoulderblock takes Edwards off his feet. OKIE BLOW! Up and over off the ropes, leapfrog by Edwards, but Steen catches him with a drop toehold as HE comes off the ropes - Steen off the ropes again - NICE standing somersault into a legdrop to the back of the neck! Prazak calls it a "snot rocket" so I apologise to any Okies I may have offended earlier. Here's the "watching this at a friend's house? Call your cable company and ask about HDNet!" crawl as Steen's in command - knife-edge chop (woooo!), snapmare, off the ropes and a HARD elbow into the back and back of the neck. 1, 2, Edwards kicks out. Big elbow, knife-edge chop, into the ropes is reversed, head down, kick by Steen - Edwards evades the press attempt, and there's a belly-to-back that takes Steen OVERHEAD and down into an X-factor like face slam as Edwards rotates while driving Steen into the mat! Very nice. 1, 2, Steen kicks out. Graphic hypes the same "Upcoming Ring of Honor Dates" we saw last week (4/3, 4/4 in Houston and 4/9, 4/10 for HDNet tapings in Philly). Edwards on top now - big stomp to the face off the ropes. Sweeney is a little more excited. Chop by Edwards (woooo!), chop, Turner is SO LOUD. Steen fighting back, but Edwards back on him with a foot on the throat. Edwards whips him into the ropes - knocks him down - and a stomp for good measure gets 2. To the chinlock! Steen, surprisingly, does not give up. Edwards claws at various facial features, and Hogewood gets VERY NOISY IN HIS OUTRAGE. Hogewood really demostrates an amazing ability to get very loud at moves that don't really seem to demand it. Have I mentioned that before? I have? Let's continue. Steen back to his feet, but Edwards with the knee in the gut to prevent any comeback. Steen with a chop - Edwards with a BIG foot in the face. "Mr. Wrestling" chant again. Again, Edwards grabs the upper lip and/or nose - as Turner gives him a talking to, Sweeney gets in a free shot of his own. Hogewood is ready to have a coronary. Stomp to the fact, again, another one, now standing on the throat while Steen sits against the bottom turnbuckle. Snapmares him over - there's a head vice with arm trap. It's been all Edwards for a while now - oops, probably shouldn't have Turner miked up to where we can hear him giving time cues. Let's see if "five to go" refers to five minutes or five half-minutes. Steen back to his feet yet again - elbow to the gut of Edwards, again, again and breaks free, elbow to the face, off the ropes but eats a BIG dropkick from Edwards. 1, 2, Steen kicks out. Steen hitting the mat as if to fire up the crowd - Edwards stomping on the head, but Steen is back up with elbows - I think that was about five before Edwards gets his shot back in. Edwards with a chop. Into the opposite corner is reversed, running in - Steen eats the boot. Steen in - CATCHES the boot this time, drapes it over the second rope and then KICKS the rope, possibly ensuring Edwards may never sire a child. Hogewood finds this the most painful move he's ever seen and raises his volume in accordance. Somehow, the official missed this. Punch blocked by Steen, inverted atomic drop, nice suplex. Steen is fired up. Edwards in the corner and Steen running at him - RUNNING CANNONBALL! Wow. 1, 2, NO! I guess only a "finishing move" will take Edwards out for good. Scoops him up - slams him down. Steen going outside and climbing to the top - sentonbomb MISSES when Edwards gets the knees up! That'll be our first "double feature" style replay of the night. Sweeney has said "Canadian bacon" about twenty times, so the commentators make sure to repeat it for our benefit. Let's see if Edwards can take advantage - running at Steen, running into an elbow. Steen positioning himself sitting on the top buckle - Edwards with a BIG kick to the back of Steen's head (!) and now putting Steen on his back - piggyback and dropped into a jawbreaker! Leg is hooked, 1, 2, NO! Edwards trying to follow up - clothesline - off the ropes but eats a superkick from Steen, but Edwards hits ANOTHER enzuigiri, but Edwards THEN runs into a POWERBOMB. Sooner or later someone will put more than one move together here - Steen thinks it's him - setting up for the signature package piledriver (trapping both arms beween the shoulders and the legs as he hoists him up powerbomb style but DROPS him into the "driller" style piledriver - that looks NASTAY) and I have a hunch he will not be getting up from that. 1, 2, 3! (7:53) So I guess "five" probably was the number of HALF minutes after all. Isn't it interesting how that works? No? Well, here's a replay of the package piledriver for you. No post-match handshake. Commentators can't wait for El Generico to return from injury so that we can see the champs defend the tag team titles against the American Wolves - well, I guess I can't either, then.

Backstage we go to KYLE DURDEN, who stands with the World Champion. "Ladies and gentlemen, towering about me, the ROH World Champion Nigel McGuinness. Now Nigel, you've consistently defended the belt all over the world, to the toughest challengers...but there's never been quite an opportunity like this for the world to witness you. It's yours. What do you have to say?" "Well that's a hell of an introduction. I understand you've got a job to do, but to be perfectly honest with you, I do not need an introduction. All you need to know about me is that I am the Ring of Honor World champion, which makes ME THE guy to beat in this company. And many have tried, but every last one of them has failed. And Jay Briscoe, you're no different, sunshine. You're a hillbilly, you're a wanker - you like to take cheap shots to get the job done. Didn't work before, ain't gonna work today. So I promise you this: if you don't bring 100% of what you've got, Briscoe...I'll kill ya. If you try some of those underhanded tactics to cheat...I'll kill ya. IN FACT...you're gonna have to work pretty hard to get outta that ring alive. Now do you understand? Because if you don't....I'll kill ya."

TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT: Jay Briscoe v. Nigel McGuinness!

SMACKTALK: "I'm DAIZEE HAZE, and I'm YOUR Woman of Honor. I may be small, but dynamite comes in small packages. If you light this fire, you're gonna get burned. (Kisses "peace" hand sign)"

THE 1...2...3!!! ON DAIZEE HAZE: Phenomenal conditioning / Long standing rivalry with Sara Del Rey / Finishing Hold(s): heart punch, Mind Trip

SMACKTALK: "You are looking at SARA DEL REY - one of the hardest hitters in the world! And YOU'RE about to find out why they call me Death Rey." Larry Sweeney: "There are a lotta girls in Ring of Honor, but only one woman. Ain't no doubt about it."

THE 1...2...3!!! ON SARA DEL REY: Vicious kicks / Considered the best female wrestler in the U.S. by many / Finishing hold(s): Royal Butterfly, axe kick

DAIZEE HAZE (Forest Park, IL - no weight announced - "Plucky Underdog") v. SARA DEL REY (Martinez, CA - no weight announced representing Sweet & Sour, Inc. - "Sound Technical Wrestler" - with Larry Sweeney)
Referee: BRYCE REMSBURG
TIME LIMIT: 15 minutes

Del Rey comes to the ring to what I believe is "Ride of the Valkyries" - classical music doesn't come with those pesky expensive rights fees! This is the first time I've seen Haze, and I had no idea she was so....plucky. Well, I would say "scrawny" except that isn't fair given that she doesn't look to have an ounce of fat on her - really, it's a little creepy seeing all that muscle where, for example, *I* would have an insulating layer of Doritos and beer. Del Rey, on the other hand, qualifies for "stocky." "Commentators" graphic here. And an "ROHWrestling.com" popup as well. Hey, this ref isn't on the ROH roster page! Fortunately, Prazak (and YouTube) give me an ID. This handshake of honor looks more like a hand slap, but it'll do. RING THE BELL! Forward roll by Haze to evade the lockup attempt - and there's a waistlock by Haze - Del Rey backs her into the corner and uses her butt a few times. Haze sat on top - brought overhead to the mat. Del Rey on top - cannonball! - but only 2. Scoop....holding - Haze fights away and back to the waistlock - Del Rey wants out but Haze hangs on for a wristlock - there's a shot - Haze up top and flips over into a takedown! Haze going for a ...well, not a crucifix I guess because she missed half of it, but DOES hit a nice flying head scissors to take Del Rey down. Haze waiting - kick to the gut, forearm, whip out of the corner is reversed but Haze positions on the corner - oops, don't know if that was a splash attempt that fell short but it doesn't matter as Del Rey catches her and gives her a big fallaway slam into a bridge for 2. Del Rey takes over - forearm hard into the back. Haze tries a shot but it's absorbed - Del Rey with a BIG headbutt. Backbreaker across the knee - and 2. Handful of hair - and another forearm to the lower back. There's ANOTHER one. Kick to the small of the back and Haze goes down. I'm sensing a pattern - brings Haze to her back, forearms her back down. Haze on the ropes - Del Rey with a foot to the back and bending Haze back for 4. Haze is all ribs - let's get her a good meal or something! Haze tries a kick, another, no sale. Four stomps by Del Rey. Has her arm across her own throat AND grabs her opposite leg for a variant of The Rack - Haze SOMEHOW manages to get herself back over and to her feet - kick to the gut by Haze - heart punch (!) and off the ropes with a Yakuza kick (aka "dropkick") - flips into a bodypress - 1, 2, no! Double underhook - now moving into a back to back - 1, 2, no. We take a replay of the press while Haze and Del Rey fight to see whose elbows are stronger in this link. Del Rey reverses it so that SHE is controlling HAZE'S elbows - lifts Haze up back-to-back and has her in Victoria's Widow's Peak position...no submission - instead, Haze flips back OVER Del Rey, lands on her feet and...eats a kick that takes her ALL the way back across the ring and into the corner turnbuckles. Whip into the opposite corner - sidesteps the charge - wants a monkey flip out but Del Rey catches her and shoves her off, BUT Haze STILL has the head and takes her down almost bulldog style using her arm! Turns her over, hooks the leg, Haze gets 2! Haze is FIRED UP - oh, no, she's not - Del Rey with a KOPPOU KICK (Forward roll guillotine heel) outta nowhere. Hmmm, maybe she IS the best wrestler alive - Prazak says it's Royal Butterfly time, so maybe we'll learn just what the heck that is - has Haze off her feet in a double underhook with Haze's legs at Del Rey's waist level - throwing her backwards OVER her head and into a slam! Del Rey sits on her and hooks the leg - camera judiciously avoids us getting a shot of what is surely Haze's shoulder coming off the canvas as the ref dutifully counts 1, 2, 3 and this one's over. (5:29) Haze is very busy holding her back and it looks like we're not going to get that post-match handshake of honor HERE, either. Have we had ONE of those since this series started? Why does this bother me so much? Replay of the Royal Butterfly is cropped so we can't see Haze's shoudlers AGAIN. Well, there you go.

Backstage, Durden brings on the Briscoe Brothers. Mark has an injured knee, but when a door closes a window opens and so tonight, Jay gets to take on McGuinness. Huh? "Hey it's all good baby. Hey, Ring of Honor's on HDNet, what up America! This the Brisco Brothers right here aka Them Boys, straight outta Sandy Fork, Delaware, if you don't know, you about to find out. Hey check it, smile pretty for the high-def cameras, baby." "What's up America, what's up baby, Briscoe Brothers here, Ring o' Honor." "Show 'em them pearly whites, baby." See, Mark is missing his top two front teeth (at least) so that's the funny. Well, we take it where we can get it. "Hey, if you don't know, we the best tag team in the world, you can ask anybody man, we been in Japan, won belts in Japan, defended titles in England, man, when you talk about tag team wrestling, we're the top of the list, baby." Durden reminds Jay that this isn't tag team wrestling tonight, it's singles competition. "Hey it's all right man, and Nigel, I mean I don't give a DAMN if you the champ, I'm coming out guns blazing, baby, you gonna have to man up, McGuinness. I don't care if it's a nontitle shot, after I beat you tonight, you gonna HAVE to give me a title shot, man. Man up, McGuinness." Durden again offers the mike to Mark, who at this point I'm thinking hadn't prepared to say anything. "Damn right, you -- my brother right here toughest sumbitch in Ring of Honor right now. McGuinness, you gonna have to man up tonight, boy." Now...these guys ARE white, right?

TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT: This graphic may look familiar!

UP NEXT! Claudio Castagnoli vs. Alex Payne!

This is our (I'm assuming) only ad break of the night. You're watching HDNet!

ROHWrestling.com ad
HDNet Fights ad
HDNet Concerts ad

AND WE'RE BACK - look how much fun these fans are having! ROH is so family friendly!

Backstage, Kyle Durden has found a special guest! "Kyle, do me a favour, all right? All right, you peasant? All right, it's PRINCE NANA - I'm BACK here in this stinkin' federation called Ring of Honor - hah? The company that tried to oust me at all of those events that I belonged at? But I only have two words for you fools watchin' at home, and his name is Bison Smith, so Ring of Honor, Kyle Doogan, anybody else out there, ha ha ha ha ha, look out - 'cause it's over. Hahahahaha..."

UP NEXT! These guys RIGHT HERE

SMACKTALK: "This is 'SUGARFOOT' ALEX PAYNE. Tonight on HDNet, I plan on proving I'm the best wrestler to come out of the Ring of Honor Academy and Claudio, I plan on proving it to you, too."

THE 1...2...3!!! ON ALEX PAYNE: Student of Austin Aries & Bryan Danielson / Raised the ire of Nigel McGuinness when he helped Bryan Danielson out during an ROH World title match / Finishing Hold(s): jumping Frankenstein (Sweetinsteiner), fisherman suplex (Sweetspot)

I THINK they meant "Frankensteiner" in that graphic up there.

SMACKTALK: "Ich bin der gross artiger Schweizer Castagnoli - Claudio Castagnoli. I'm very European."

My German ist nicht so weit, but I think he said that he's a very great Swiss Castagnoli. Also, he's very European.

THE 1...2...3!!! ON CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI: Involved in bitter rivalry with Brent Albright stemming from controversial finish in January / Insanely athletic / Finishing hold(s): Pop-up European uppercut, Riccola bomb

ALEX "SUGARFOOT" PAYNE (Des Moines, IA - 188 pounds - "Fan Favorite / Graduate of ROH's Wrestling Academy") v. CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI (The United Banks of Switzerland, 170 kilo, "Hated by the fans")
Referee: TODD SINCLAIR
TIME LIMIT: 15 minutes

Castagnoli came out to ... the 1812 Overture? That doesn't seem very European! (I think Tschikovsky was European.) Oh. Well, then. There's the Handshake of Honor! Crowd seems to shot "EYYYYYYYYY" whenever Castagnoli does anything - I guess that's their way of showing HATE. If ever a match screamed out "squash," looking at these two guys, I'd have to say this would be it. It doesn't help when Hogewood says that judging by his face, "...Payne looks about twelve." So I guess we can assume that Rob asked him first if he wanted to be a wrestler? Ah ha ha. Enough of these digressions - RING THAT BELL! Lockup, go behind by Castagnoli, takes him down, reversal, into a cover for 1. Payne trying to stay on him, Castagnoli (I am already tired of type "Castagnoli" so I'll have to go back later with a macro) reverses, knee into the gut, into the ropes, head down, Payne flips over...trying the sunset flip and Castagnoli fighting it, Castagnoli grabs him up by the neck, there's a European uppercut. A signature move! Headlock by Castagnoli. Payne powers out, but eats a shoulder off the ropes. Up and over, hip toss attempt by Payne is blocked, Payne to the gut, leg over the neck, flippy flipp, gutshot, climbs up for a head scissors down, and hits it! Going for a victory roll - has THAT - 2! Dropkick...is swatted away. Castagnoli's had enough, up and over, catches Payne and changes it to a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. 1, 2, no. Hogewood has already called this for Castagnoli. Euro uppercut. Stomp. Standing on the neck and using the ropes for 4. Gut wrench - holding him in midair for a while - and up and over for the suplex. Leg is hooked, 1, 2, Payne kicks out. Measuring him - Euro uppercut to the back of the neck from a LEAP. 1, 2, Payne kicks out! Now BOTH commentators are wondering why he'd bother to kick out - maybe he's going to win? Payne with a surprise bridge for 2. Oh, there's a pump kick (Hogewood: "OHHHHHHHH THE BICYCLE KICK!!!!!!!!!!!") A little slow on the cover - 1, 2, NO! Payne trying to get fired up. Axehandle by Castagnoli - Payne manages a gutshot (Hogewood: "oh MY! A FLURRY!" What, a flurry of ONE shot?) - Castagnoli measures and strikes with the European uppercut once again. Brings him up - into a uranage-alike down. Leg is hooked, 1, 2, NO! Payne hits the mat again and the crowd...maybe comes alive, I can't tell. Snapmares Payne over, has a head vise. Yeah, we NEEDED a rest hold here. Payne trying to come back - elbows out, but Castagnoli is RIGHT back to the European uppercut. 1, 2, kickout. Castagnoli to a chinlock. AGAIN we work on some rhythmic clapping for sugarfoot - elbow, elbow, elbow breaks the hold, dropkick, dropkick, Castagnoli did NOT leave his feet - gutshot by Castagnoli, into the ropes, Payne ducks, Payne dropkick and DOES take him off his feet - running knee in the corner, whip into the opposite corner, reversed, charged in but Payne steps aside, he's on the second buckle - BULLDOG - Payne is FIRED UP! - Clothesline - 1, 2, Castagnoli kicks out! Payne whips him into the ropes, reversed, pressed up, "Popup European Uppercut" on his way down - oh, it's over - here's the Riccola bomb (sitout powerbomb with the opponent's arms crossed) and he ain't gettin' up from that. 1, 2, 3. (6:26) I REALLY think that could have been better commentated - or at least a hell of a lot less telegraphed - by BOTH members of the commentary team. Otherwise, why bother showing it to us? I've seen him at shows before, and Claudio Castignoli deserves a better introduction. If there was a post-match handshake....we missed it

MAIN EVENT NEXT! Which means this is the last time you will have to see this graphic this week!

As is rapidly becoming the custom, the main event means you and I are treated with a
TALE OF THE TAPE
JAY BRISCOE NIGEL McGUINNESS
216 lbs. WEIGHT 242 lbs.
2000 PRO DEBUT 1999
2/23/02 "The Era of Honor Begins" ROH DEBUT 8/9/03 "Wrath of Racket"
Sandy Fork, DE FROM London, ENGLAND
THE 1...2...3!!! ON JAY BRISCOE: An ROH Original; was part of the first official match on the very first show (vs. The Amazing Red) / In a Rivalry with Sweet N Sour Inc. after the American Wolves took out brother Mark Briscoe / Finishing Hold(s): Jay Driller, Doomsday Device (tag team maneuver)

THE 1...2...3!!! ON NIGEL McGUINNESS: Current ROH World Champion; title held since 10/6/07 when he defeated Takeshi Morishima at "Undeniable" / Long standing rivalry with Bryan Danielson, including epic matches at "Unified", "6th Anniversary Show", and the most recently at "Rising Above 2008" / Finishing Hold(s): Jawbreaker lariat, Tower of Londo, London Dungeon

YOUR MAIN EVENT
JAY BRISCOE (Sandy Fork, DE - 216 pounds - with MARK BRISCOE - "Hard Hitting Style / Fan Favorite") v. NIGEL McGUINNESS (London, ENG - 242 pounds - the Ring of Honor World Champion, "Increasingly arrogrant, cokcy and disrespectful")

Referee: Turner
TIME LIMIT: Television time remaining (about 22 minutes to the hour)

McGuinness wears his belt backwards, we are told, so that we can look at his bum. I THINK that's what they said, anyway. I way busy looking away from his bum. Only Samoa Joe has had a longer reign as champion, we are told. One more crawl asking us to "Get HDNet at home!" which I am, so thanks. "USA" chant from the crowd. That belt....could be jazzed up a bit. I hate saying it, but yeah. Let's get that Handshake of Honor already. We get it, but McGuinness also slaps the hand away as they break. HERE WE GO! Lockup, McGuinness to the wristlock, Briscoe rolls away but Nigel holds on. Brisco back to his feet - Nigel takes him down, STILL holding the wristlock. Brisco up, down, Nigel up and over but hanging onto the wrist. Brisco with a scoop slam but Nigel STILL holds on to that wristlock. Dueling "Let's go Nigel"/"Let's go Brisco" chants - this is actually one of those things I hate about "smart" crowds but that's for another time. McGuinness FINALLY releases the wristlock after wrapping Brisco's arm around his leg and dropping to his knees. With Brisco's arm still trapped, McGuinness takes his legs over his head and flips him over, grabs his FREE arm and pulls it behind his back - then bridges backward into...well, it's a stretch I've never seen before but looks pretty painful. Before Briscoe's ribcage breaks, he manages to undo one arm, pop up, grabbing McGuinness' leg and spinning and sitting into a DEEP half crab!! McGuinness wastes little time getting to the bottom rope to break that up. Brisco headlock takeover, head scissors counter, they're up, another headlock takeover, this time the head scissors doesn't work. Back to their feet, shot by McGuinness, into a belly-to-back suplex but Brisco STILL maintains the headlock. Just like earlier, one man is stymied but the other man's failing to break the controlling hold. McGuinness thinks about using Briscoe's trunks but it doesn't come to that - Briscoe is flipped over and away - wants to go BACK to the headlock but McGuinness drops and shoves him over and off - but Brisco pops right back up and hits ANOTHER headlock takeover - even getting the shoulders down for 2. Hogewood busts a nut. McGuinness does a headstand (!), shoots over Briscoe's back and now HE grabs a headlock - it doesn't last long as Briscoe quickly counters into a hammerlock on the mat - floats over and back to his own headlock. Did you know headlocks could be this exciting? The WWE folks sure don't! Mark's digging it, too. Hogewood decides this might be a good time to talk about McGuinness' spiky hairdo. Meanwhile, McGuinness is back on his feet, shoving Briscoe off and breaking the hold, Briscoe off the ropes with a BIG shoulderblock which takes McGuinness off his feet. Back up - headlock, powered out, shoulderblock takes him down AGAIN. Let's go for a third headlock - and again McGuinness powers out, but THIS time he holds onto the arm, wringing it over and using it to take Briscoe DOWN to the mat! That one hurt the arm. Prazak says McGuinness is all about targeting the shoulder. Back leg trip by McGuinness, making sure Briscoe lands shoulder first. Into the ropes is reversed, McGuinness up and over, but Brisco lands the dropkick, quick cover, 2! Briscoe with a forearm, forearm, but McGuinness again grabs the arm and takes him quickly down onto his shoulder. ROHWrestling.com popup. McGuinness stands over Briscoe - bringing him up - measuring the shot to the shoulder. Arm wrapped around the top rope, and pulling away using the leg on the bottom rope. Briscoe manages a chop with the other arm and a punch, but McGuinness with an elbow. Briscoe chop, McGuinness knee, and throws him to the mat. Boot to the head, kicks the side, Briscoe elbow, forearm, McGuinness forearm, Briscoe, Briscoe, arm wringer is reversed, and a quick, almost DDT-like hammerlock takedown by McGuinness ends the flurry. Prazak refers to the "Divorce Court," which I believe means Briscoe's arm is separating from his shoulder? Is that the line? I'll get letters if I'm wrong. That "Man up" chant proved useless! The Champ is ready to take control - bringing him up - has the shoulder isolated - takeover is especially hard on that shoulder. McGuinnes boots him and dares him to get up. Briscoe throws an elbow, McGuinness forearms back. Briscoe chops, McGuinness foreram, Briscoe chop, McGuinness with ANOTHER forearm, back and forth we go, McGuinness has the shoulder AGAIN - and uses it to complete a flip, causing Briscoe to land hard, shoulder first. Hogewood: "Ohhhh MY GOODNESS!" McGuinness goes for the submission, wrapping the arm around his leg and then grabbing Briscoe's hand with his own. I should know what THAT'S called, but at this point I'm too lazy to look it up. What you need to know is that Briscoe's not giving up, no way, baby! Mark works on firing up the crowd as Jay reaches for the bottom rope - and finally gets hit boot reached over and onto it. Break at 4. McGuinness with a cobra clutch and taking him down to the mat. Crowd trying to get somebody, ANYBODY to man up. McGuinness decides to pull him up, unravels him, wants to pull him into a short clothesline but Briscoe ducks it, backs into McGuinness to stun him, off the ropes and hits the BIG BOOT! Rest in peace, Test! Both men are down and the crowd is clapping in rhythm. Briscoe, here he comes, elbow, chop, forearm, chop, into the opposite corner, big clothesline! Off the ropes - but McGuinnes headbutts him into the gut. McGuinness off the ropes - but caught, brought up with one arm and shoved DOWN into a spinebuster! Briscoe delays, but eventually covers - but gets a loooong 2. McGuinness back up - forearm by Brisco, into the corner, McGuinness sidesteps, kicks the back, clotheslines him down, 1, 2, NO! "Let's Go (x)" duel starts up again. McGuinness places Briscoe on the top buckle, gives the "Victory" sign (Prazak says he's going for the Tower of London - whatever it is) but before we can see it, Briscoe gets off the buckle. McGuinness with a back elbow, runs to the opposite corner, ready to charge but eats a boot from Briscoe for his trouble! Briscoe puts him in the uranage position, but instead falls BACKWARDS, driving McGuinness facefirst into the buckle! Briscoe going for it - wants a Death Valley driver - running and HITS IT! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, NO!!! What's left? Briscoe calls for the ...I didn't hear what he said, but he's outside and climbing the corner to the top turnbuckle. McGuinness is barely stirring - Briscoe - no, McGuinness is over and taking his feet out from under him. With Briscoe now sitting on the top buckle, McGuinness AGAIN goes for the Tower of London - and AGAIN we're denied knowing what the move actualy is, as Briscoe hangs onto the ropes for dear life. McGuinness turns around and lands a forearm/elbow to the face. Climbing up after him - headlock, "V" to the crowd - giving Briscoe JUST enough time to recover, work on the body, three shots, forearm to the face, another, another and McGuinness falls back to the mat - Brisco stnading up top - almost loses his balance - but manages a top rope LEAP into a legdrop! Weak cover - 1, 2, NO! Let's take a replay from right after where he almost lost balance. Back to live action - wants the Jay Driller ("butterfly piledriver," says Prazak) but it's blocked - McGuinness takes him down, has a leg, wants a toe hold (really?), Briscoe kicks him off, up and over, shoulder block by McGuinness and he bounces off him back to the ropes, almost falls THROUGH the ropes - or is he just building momentum for the JAWBREAKER LARIAAAAATUUUUUUU - GOOD NIGHT. (Hogewood: "Jaw is broken, here comes the lariat" - uhhhh, no) 1, 2, 3. (12:04) Briscoe is OUT. This means it's quite easy for McGuinness to give - YES - our first post-match HANDSHAKE OF HONOR! Mark looks unhappy. Jay looks like he needs the smellin' salts. Here is your replay - it's a little odd that they seem love to switch cameras in the middle of the replay.

Copyright 2009 Ring of Honor Wrestling, Inc.

Next Week: Brian Danielson vs. Austin Aries in the main event! It looks like the handshake of honor will be a hand slap!

"You've been watching a special presentation of Ring of Honor wrestling on HDNet!"

Ring of Honor returns to pay-per-view Friday, April 17th with Caged Collision! For more information visit ROHWrestling.com!

Believe it or not, you're STILL watching HDNet!

Meet Brian Danielson! I have a hunch we'll hear most of this in NEXT week's show, so I will keep you waiting by not transcribing it now! Hey didn't he used to be bald?

Anyway, we're out. And so am I! LATER


Feedback is welcome via email, the OOForums or over at my own message board, The W.



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used2bcool
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Since: 5.11.08
From: Lake Forest, IL

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.66
    Originally posted by CRZ
    McGuinness goes for the submission, wrapping the arm around his leg and then grabbing Briscoe's hand with his own. I should know what THAT'S called, but at this point I'm too lazy to look it up.

I think this is the London Dungeon right here.



Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame
Cover up your face, you can't run the race
The pace is too fast, you just won't last
- "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
AlbySure
Boerewors








Since: 10.12.01
From: LA

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.93
    Originally posted by CRZ
    CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI (The United Banks of Switzerland, 170 kilo


Whoa, that's a big dude.
CRZ
Big Brother
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.51
    Originally posted by AlbySure
      Originally posted by CRZ
      CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI (The United Banks of Switzerland, 170 kilo


    Whoa, that's a big dude.
Thanks, Mr. Proofreader!

*107* kilos.



spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

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Last activity: 11 hours
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.16
It's a shame this wasn't taped in Chicago, as Alex Payne is ridiculously and inexplicably over here. He would have seemed very important.

As the resident SHIMMER mark, I was happy to see Haze v. Del Rey on the PPV, though both girls seemed sort of tight, with the timing off on a lot of stuff (the crossbody comes to mind). FWIW Del Rey has been using "Ride of the Valkyries" as her entrance music for a time since turning heel (and abandoning "The Final Countdown"), alternating between that and a theme from Japan that may have once belonged to Aja Kong. And having seen Del Rey's thighs up close, I would be afraid to ever call her stocky. Those things could kill a man "Goldeneye" style.



2007 and 2008 W-League Fantasy Football champion!
CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.51
DEAN #2 (board.deathvalleydriver.com)

(Thanks for the plug!)

(edited by CRZ on 30.3.09 2115)


DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN








Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1294 days
Last activity: 1291 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.12
Oh, I'm plugging you every week (YEAH DADDY!) until I do every possible variation of your name. Hopefully, ROH on HDNet will last that long.

Though I'll never top the time I accidentally reffered to you as "CZW".



YES, I AM DEAN.
Oliver
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.07
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    Oh, I'm plugging you every week (YEAH DADDY!) until I do every possible variation of your name. Hopefully, ROH on HDNet will last that long.

    Though I'll never top the time I accidentally referred to you as "CZW".
Hey, DEAN...welcome back!

Great recap; I can only wonder how CRZ's recaps would be after TNA's worst cards.



Dash Dynamic!
dWs
Chorizo








Since: 26.2.09
From: Humpty Doo, Australia

Since last post: 38 days
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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.67
Whoa...two episodes and nobody's been spotted WALKING yet?!



Da' Wrestling Site
CRZ
Big Brother
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.51
    Originally posted by dWs
    Whoa...two episodes and nobody's been spotted WALKING yet?!
Clearly they prefer the "repetitive graphic" mention for promoting upcoming matches. OLD SCHOOL!

(edited by CRZ on 2.4.09 1650)


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Here is the difference: Angle had his first loss when his career was only two months old, and he lost to a wrestler that came in with great fanfare (on one night, at least).
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