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The W - Pro Wrestling - Ring of Honor on HDNet #1 21.3.09
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CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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Hey, sup. My name is Christopher Robin Zimmerman, but you can call me CRZ. I used to be kind of a big deal...what, ten years ago? Now I'm just another dude on the Internet, albeit one with his own message board and apparently STILL juuuuuuust enough free time to waste a couple hours on a perfecly good Saturday night writing about grown men in their underwear for other people to read about (and hopefully enjoy! Or at least find out what happened).

Turns out we are amongst that 3% of the country who actually get HDNet, so when I heard about the new show...well, first I had to do a double take, because I didn't know HDNet aired ANYTHING that didn't have either Dan Rather or Bas Rutten on it. After I confirmed it really WAS a new ROH weekly show, I asked Rick if he had anybody covering it, and he said he didn't, so here I am back at good ol' Online...wait. Good ol' OOOOOOOOO WRESTLING. This'll at least get me a new email address, right, Rick?

One thing you should know about me. I have a strange form of OCD that causes me to tend to recap MORE THAN YOU NEED TO KNOW. Glancing through the current incarnation of OO - and I guess I need to say "GO FLYERS!" - I see that my "style" of recap is either not terribly in demand in 2009 or nobody really wants to do it. Given the state of WWE television, I can certainly understand why nobody wants to do more than write brief blurbs about the crap they surely don't want to endure upon multiple viewings - not counting replays of entire segments that now seem to make up OTHER segments of WWE programming - hmmmm.... - where was I? Oh yes. This'll look longer than you want, and I won't be offended if you just scan through to find the pinfall. Hell, these things were taped last month, so you can just go find the spoilers if you REALLY want - save yourself six weeks of recaps. But as Dave Letterman said on repeated occasions, that's probably not why you called.

My history with ROH goes back to 2002, when I was placed on their "press release" spam list, which I made fun of by making public in a RAW recap on this very site. Mirth and hilarity and possibly hurt feelings ensued, but I'm sure that in 2009, there's no way Gabe S. remembers that, or even who I am - oh and by the way, Gabe doesn't even WORK there any more. So there's that.

After I moved from California to Minnesota, I DID catch ROH's "once a year" cards at the St. Paul armory - as evidenced by my quick and dirty results posts over at The W in 2006 and 2007 - but they dropped St. Paul from their touring list, citing the price of gas or some other bullshit reason (I say that because gas has been under two bucks for MONTHS but no new St. Paul date was announced.)

So as you can imagine, I come into this pretty much neutral - I honestly don't carry any anti-ROH bias, because whatever I thought about them in 2002 was long forgotten and they've certainly taken real currency from me to view their product since that time. Also, having not seen them in almost two years, there's a good chance I will have no idea about much of ANYTHING that might have been happening outside of this show, so I'm going in ignorant. I consider that better than the "ROHbot" bias, by the way - I know that makes ROHbots SUPREMELY unhappy, but I'm sure you can find THEIR recaps later on rohwrestling.com or wherever they're hanging out these days. Consider me - the alternative to the alternative!

Enough with the jibber jabber, LET'S GO

CABLE GUIDE SEZ: Ring of Honor Wrestling - Sat 7:00-8:00pm HD NEW

CABLE GUIDE INFO SEZ: Jerry Lynn, Tyler Black and Jimmy Jacobs take the mat in Philadelphia. (HDTV). Sports Misc. (TV-14) STEREO CC HD NEW

CRZ SEZ: Geez, I hope they didn't just spoil all the results of tonight's show before we watched it!

THIS is RING OF HONOR WRESTLING #1, coming to you from the Alhambra Arena in Philadelphia, PA, airing 21.3.9 (taped 28.2) in GLORIOUS HIGH DEFINITION TELEVISION on HDNet.

Sure enough, Bas Rutten and Dan Rather - this is HDNet!

"You're watching a special presentation of Ring of Honor Wrestling on HDNet!"

Pretty nice opening - but it's all RED for some reason - is that Bison Smith? Holy cats, he DID escape APW after all

From in front of the green screen, MIKE HOGEWOOD and DAVE PRAZAK welcome us to this "very unique wrestling series" and also explain the "code of honor" - athleticism and sportsmanship, handshakes before AND after every match, and INDY RESPECT! Each week there'll be a main event - sounds like a good policy - and tonight's will see Tyler Black take on Jimmy Jacobs. Here's a graphic signifying that fact. Wasting no time, let's go to the opening contest!

DELIRIOUS (The Edge of Sanity, 189 pounds) v. JERRY LYNN (Minneapolis, MN - 217 pounds)
Referee: PAUL TURNER
TIME LIMIT: not announced

Looks like before each man comes to the ring, they'll get some time for a brief introduction/old school promo:

SMACKTALK: Delirious gives us an interview - which is to say, he babbles incoherently and saves me from having to work on a transcript.

Prazak offers that the only intelligible word Delirious said was "HDNet" - that's smart of Delirious AND Prazak!

While the opponents make their ring entrances (to generic music - music rights cost MONEY, PEOPLE) they shrink to an inset while we are introduced to the combatants via a set of bullet points graphically labeled:

THE 1...2...3!!! ON DELIRIOUS: Formerly allied with Age of the Fall & Jimmy Jacobs / Amazing cardio and conditioning / Finishing Hold(s): Shadows over Hell, Panic Attack, Cobra Stretch

We also get one more pop-up graphic after he hits the ring: "DELIRIOUS - Watch out when the bell rings" - which means...he turns into Festus? I think.

SMACKTALK: Tonight, my opponent is a little off center. Well I'm a twenty year veteran, and you're gonna see how off center I can be. My name is JERRY LYNN.

THE 1...2...3!!! ON JERRY LYNN: Veteran, and former ECW World Champion / Engaged in bitter war with Nigel McGuinness / Finishing Hold(s): Cradle piledriver

Popup graphic on "JERRY LYNN - Can still fly with the best of them"

When Lynn talks about his experience, it does make me feel a bit older, knowing I WAS watching him close to 20 years ago when he was taking on The Lightning Kid (X-Pac) over in the GWF with a light heavyweight championship on the line. Our referee (who isn't identified, but since there are photos of two officials on their website, I can take an educated guess - it's not the big guy, so it must be the other guy) motions for the handshake of honor, but Delirious is still crouched in the corner and not moving. Lynn heads over and taps him on a hand - that'll be good enough. There's the bell and there's a change of demeanor for Delirious. He's going nuts, shooting and missing as Lynn evades - third time's a charm and Lynn counters into a front face. Both men to their feet - Delirious to a headlock, Lynn powers him off into the ropes, knock down by Delirious. Delirious says...something to the crowd. Off the ropes, no, Lynn grabs both legs before he jumps over him, and he goes down. Lynn with a drop toehold...into a bow and arrow (correctly called by Prazak!) - Dlirious over into a press - 1, 2, no. Lynn jumps to avoid a leg sweep and grabs a side headlock. Delirious powering him out, Lynn off the ropes with a knockdown, up and over, ducks a clothesline, brought up and takes him down with a headscissors - tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets 2. Stomp by Lynn. "Let's go Jerry" chant starts up and Lynn stokes it. Elbow by Lynn. Whip into the corner is reversed, Lynn up and...caught. From the fireman's carry into the face first drop - Delirious off with a SENTON - 1, 2, no. Prazak calls the senton, too - he's going to make this easy to call. Delirious now with the advantage on the head-and-arm trap - taken over and down to the mat, holding on. On-screen crawl says that if we're watching ROH at a friend's house, we should call our cable company and get HDNet at our own place. I hope HDNet forced them to do that! Lynn struggling and Delirious raving. Back to their feet - crowd psyching up Lynn - Lynn elbowing out, or trying to - knee by Delirious, off with a clothesline, here's a second (which gets Hogewood WAY too excited), Lynn ducks the attempt at a THIRD clothesline, wrapping up the shoulders with, now back to back and double underhook down for 2! Gutshot doubles Delirious over - going for...a vertebraeker? Spins him around - no, releases the legs, bringing Delirious over and down to a ...let's call it a reverse Pedigree because Delirious took it like a double underhook except Lynn's BACK was to him instead of how Triple H would do it - wow! - but somehow that's ONLY 2. I guess Lynn can only win with a "Finishing Hold(s)" so it's cradle piledriver or nothin'. We switch to a Double Feature-style replay so we can take another look at what Prazak calls "an inverted version of the Gory Special" - that's an even better way to call it. Dave Prazak is now my new personal hero. Meanwhile, everybody's attempting to recover. Lynn coming in - Delirious with the jump on him and brought him hard into the turnbuckle after a head and elbow to the gut. Out of the corner from the second rope - Lynn coming up so Delirious vaults him - now daring Lynn to come after him - Lynn stutter steps (mixed signals?) but eventually runs at him, only to end up in a drop toehold into the second turnbuckle! Delirious thinks he's got him - running at him with a VICIOUS knee to the head in the corner. Hogewood says the Panic Attack is coming - I wonder what it is - Delirious on the top rope - Prazak says he's going for the Shadows Over Hell - hmmm, so either that knee WAS the Panic Attack or Hogewood is an idiot - ANYWAY, Delirious tries for a top rope splash (the Shadows Over Hell?) ...only there's no water in that pool as Lynn is gone. Hogewood explodes with delight at the escape. Lynn has him up in a fireman's carry - no, Delirious is out, 1, 2, no. Prazak says Lynn wanted the TKO but Delirious managed the sunset flip, and I believe him! Delirious counters a piledriver attempt with a baaaaack body drop for 2. Graphic shows us some UPCOMING LIVE RING OF HONOR DATES: April 3 & 4 Houston, TX / April 10 & 11 Philadelphia, PA (HDNet tapings) / Log on to rohwrestling.com for ticket info MEANWHILE Delirious is climbing the corner again - Lynn pops up and catches him sitting on the top buckle - right hand (is so dishonorable!) by Lynn, right, climbing to the top - FRANKENSTEINER brings him back in - sorry, "huracanrana" - now bringing him up - and THERE'S the TKO - 1, 2, NO!!! Prazak thinks only the cradle piledriver will end it, and I have to agree. Before Lynn can go for it, Delirious shoves him to the corner - head in the gut, another shoulder, another. There's the chop (woooo!) and there's a whip into the opposite corner, but Lynn steps aside - and THERE'S the cradle piledriver! 1, 2, 3 - nobody's getting up from that. (5:41) Prazak says Lynn is focused on one thing, and that's the ROH title held by Nigel McGuinness. It's nice of them to tell us who the champ is! Let's take a replay - boot to the gut, cradle piledriver (won't be seen in the WWE!) and the pin.

If they shook hands after the match, we missed it as we head...

Backstage we meet "reporter" KYLE DURDEN, who thanks me for allowing him into my home. He SHOULD thank me! Let's go to a transcript: "Right now I'd like to bring in Tyler Black, the fastest rising star in Ring of Honor, who actually finds himself in a very interesting position. You're competing with many of the people that you grew up watching. One of those people is Jimmy Jacobs, a man you befriended, and recently he physically assaulted you, turning his back on you. Tonight you have the chance for vengeance in the first ever main event of ROH Wrestling on HDNet. Your thoughts." "Revenge - that's an interesting concept. It's kind of like a double-edged sword; on one hand, it's gonna be really sweet to drive my first into Jimmy Jacob's face...but on the other hand, it takes its toll, because exacting that revenge, seeking out that revenge - it damages me mentally, physically and emotionally because it takes a lot for me to get down to Jimmy Jacobs' level. And Jimmy, you want to talk about OUR revolution - what we brought to Ring of Honor together, yeah, you are responsible for bringing me into this company, but our revolution - it was never about changing people. It wasn't about dictation. It was about changing your own lives and setting an example - we were supposed to be HOPE. Now it's all fallen apart and you turned your back on me - and here I am in the first main event, seeking my revenge and you said it's my first shot, Kyle...well, Jimmy, after I kick your head off your shoulders...I'm hoping it's my last."

TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT: Tyler Black vs. Jimmy Jacobs is tonight's main event!

I should probably note that we haven't taken a commercial break yet...

SAMI CALLAHAN (Last House on the Left, 201 pounds - no popup graphic) v. KENNY KING (Las Vegas, NV - 235 pounds - A ladies' man)
Referee: TODD SINCLAIR
TIME LIMIT: 15 minutes

SMACKTALK: Allow me to introduce myself - I'm THE NEW HORROR SAMI CALLAHAN and where I come from, it's Halloween three hundred and sixty-five days a year. My trick is anything I have up my sleeve, and my treat is a winning debut for Ring of Honor on H D Net (okie blow).

THE 1...2...3!!! ON SAMI CALLIHAN: Relative Newcomer to ROH / Recently traveled to compete in Germay / Finishing Hold(s): Koji clutch

SMACKTALK: Yeah, yeah, yeah, finally Kenny's back where he belongs in the national spotlight. Ring of Honor, HDNet, I'd like to thank you for bringing KENNY KING back where belongs to the top. It don't matter who you put in front of me, big, small, skinny, fat - I'm'a lay 'em all flat - courtesy of the Pretty Boy Pitbull himself. Holler at me."

THE 1...2...3!!! ON KENNY KING: Arrogant / Incredibly agile and quick / Finishing Hold(s): The Coronation

Now, to my knowledge, I've seen neither of these guys before but just looking at the graphics I can tell you that surely Callahan is toast. King's out in a suit but no shirt - that's a tough look to pull off - kinda like those pants. We once again look at the CODE OF HONOR as King slaps Callahan's outstretched hand - well, that's 0 for 2 on real "handshakes" as we RING THE BELL! and we're off. King leaps over a shooting Callahan. Lockup, armbar by Callahan, goes behind holding the wristlock...King wants to elbow out but can't find his head, so instead, he finds a way to spin his body out of it, THEN catches Callahan in a Japanese arm drag to take him down! (Or was it a Mexican armdrag? I can never remember which is which. This was the one where he kinda flipped forward - I think that's the Japanese one. Yeah. Whatever. It's too early for it to mean the match is over or anything. Let's move on already!) King nips up - very nice. Damn, Prazak says "Japanese armdrag" - I should stop pausing to look up moves and let Prazak do the heavy lifting. I LOVE DAVE PRAZAK. Here's Callahan with a double leg - dueling mat wrestling moves, both men up but no time for INDY RESPECT as King moves in, Callahan sweeps the leg for 1, now grabs the front headlock and rolls over a few times - still holding it on. Whew! King slowly back to his feet - Callahan wants to send King into the ropes, but King reverses, takes Callahan to the ropes, KING jumps OVER the ropes and keeps a hand on Callahan's back, guiding into a hot shot-alike on the top rope and sending him back while King lands with two feet on the floor! Another nifty move.King quickly back in, and clotheslines Callahan down. Cover gets 1. King still in control - stomps on him, stomp, standing on the neck for 3 of the 5 count. King mugs for the camera...which gives Callahan just enough time to recover and land a shot in the gut. Callahan back up on his feet, elbow, but King with a knee and a questionable shot. Choke on the top rope for 3 of the 5 count. Scoops him up - and slams him down. Off the bottom rope, springboard legdrop finds the mark - 1. King stays on him with a rear chinlock. Callahan struggling to get back to his feet - does - and gets out with a dishonorable gutshot. There's another - off the ropes, head down for a kick up from Callahan, and somehow puts himself in the wheelbarrow position and STILL manages a semi-bridge for 2. Boot caught by Callhan - spins him around but King lands a SUPER ENZUIGIRI which staggers him - BIG SPINEBUSTER - hooks the leg - 1, 2, NO! We take the replay while King shows disbelief that Callahan isn't finished off. Elbow in the back when we come back to the live shot. Callahan sneaks in two elbows, but King is still in command, off the ropes, Callahan ducks the leg, hits an atomic drop (sorry, INVERTED atomic drop), grabs King up in a bearhug, elbow - swings him over with a - wow, variant of a cradle suplex and both men are down. The count is on. Crowd tries to work up a "fuck 'im up, Kenny, fuck 'im up" chant as Sinclair (ID'd by Prazak - thanks!) gets all the way to 6 before both men are up. Callahan ducks a lariat, lands a right hand of dishonor, ducks, elbow of honor, FIRED UP! but nobody's buying it - King catches the next attempt, knees him, off the ropes, but Callahan evades - kicks the back of the leg to put King on his knees, QUICK with a back kick, grabs the neck and hits almost a STUNNER, off the ropes with a BIG clothesline that takes King off his knees and into a position for the cover - 1, 2, NO! - King tries a reversal, but Callahan moves into the PATENTED KOJI CLUTCH - which means Callahan has his arms not only around King's head and arm for the trap but ALSO around his own leg, and there's a vice thing going on with King's head between the headlock and the back of Callahan's knee. Will he tap? No - King finds the bottom rope with his boot. Callahan is still FIRED UP! Fans starting to come around on him - into the corner with a forearm landed - rolls into a back somersault and comes with a leg lariat...only nobody's home. King runs at him with two knees to the back and Callahan lands facefirst on the second buckle. Hogewood gets VERY LOUD HERE. King brings him up on his back - then wheels him over into the Coronation (fireman's carry DDT) and that'll do ya. 1, 2, 3. (5:43) He's cocky and arrogant! But also...he won. Let's take the replay - that's the Coronation - that's the 3 count. When we come back, King is on his way out - if they shook hands after the match, we must have missed it.

Backstage we go to "Kyle Durden here. The man to my side: Jimmy Jacobs - a man who started a movement that you refer to as the Age of the Fall. A man who brought in his friend Tyler Black, and when everything started to go south, that's the same man you seem to have turned on. Now you're shaking your head in disagreement, what's your take on this?" "See, *I* brought in Tyler Black, a year and a half ago into Ring of Honor to help me carry out a movement. We had a plan to take all the power here in Ring of Honor, and use it to spread MY message in the Age of the Fall. Now, somewhere along the line, Tyler Black decided to change those plans. Tyler Black thought that instead of fighting against the masses, like we promised each other we'd do, he decided he'd fight FOR the masses. Instead of doing what was RIGHT...he does what's easy now. Well, Tyler Black is physically a great wrestler, but I'll throw you a bone just to pick you dry, 'cause tonight, on the FIRST main event on Ring of Honor on HDNet - despite what Tyler thinks, and despite what the fans want - I'm gonna break him. Tyler, you always say the war is waiting, the war is waiting...the war is no longer waiting. The war is NOW. The war...is HERE." Boy, Durden's got a lot of tattoos on his arms!

Main event graphic again.

UP NEXT! Brent Albright vs. Rhett Titus!

At 22 after, we take our first ad break.

"Get Out!" is NEXT on HDNet!

ROHWrestling.com ad - purchase stuff, get breaking news, purchase stuff, learn about upcoming events on which you could spend money to attend, and purchase stuff! VISIT TODAY!

HDNet ad: College Basketball Invitational Quarterfinals

HDNet ad: HDNet Fights presents: K-1 Classics (Bas sighting!), "The Light Heavyweights, Vol. 1" AND FieLDS K-1 from Yokohama

Whoa, that was quick AND WE'RE BACK - somehow, they found some children in this audience and are giving them some TV time.

Hey, here's a brief history of Ring of Honor via video package. It all started in 2002 - here's CM Punk, here's Samoa Joe, here's Jaime By God Noble, here's some guy who looks like Abyss - or IS Abyss? Highspots, always higspots. There's Flair, Shamrock, was that JJ Dillon?, Percy Pringle, Foley, Thesz - ah, now I'm finally seeing people who I might see on this show tonight. Don't let me get you down, this was actually a pretty good piece.

SMACKTALK: Brother, brother, brother - take a look at these shoulders the size of boulders. I got THIGHS that HYPNOTIZE (removes vest) I'm "ADDICTED TO LOVE" RHETT TITUS - and the thrust is a must!

THE 1...2...3!!! ON RHETT TITUS: Nickname: "Addicted to Love" / Graduate of ROH's Wrestling Academy / Finishing Hold(s): The Muff Driver (Crucifix Bomb), frog splash, powerbomb/blockbuster combination (tag team manuever w/ Kenny King)

SMACKTALK: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is BRENT ALBRIGHT, and I'm bringing an intensity to Ring of Honor like you've never seen. When you step into the ring with me, you got two choices. You can either get out - or tap out.

THE 1...2...3!!! ON BRENT ALBRIGHT: Allied with Roderick Strong and Erick Stevens / Submission Technician / Finishing Hold(s): Crowbar, half nelson suplex

"ADDICTED TO LOVE" RHETT TITUS (The Temple of Lust on Long Beach Island, NJ - 203 pounds - Hated by Men, Loved by Women) v. BRENT ALBRIGHT (Tulsa, OK - 246 pounds - no popup graphic)
Referee: Turner
TIME LIMIT: 15 minutes

We actually get something resembling a Handshake of Honor but Titus lingers on the handhold and breaks into a little bump-n-grind. This meets with a quick response from Albright - a knife-edge chop (woooo!). Chop! Chop! Takes him off the ropes, back elbow sends Titus down. Albright ...eats a knee from Titus. Titus with the "thrust" - giving Albright enough time to recover and counter into a half hour delay suplex. In the corner, chop (woooo!), boot to the cut, elbow, elbow, out of the corner, boot up by Titus - Titus from the second rope, oops, going for a thrust again, so Albright sweeps his legs and Titus ends up going into Albright's knees senton style. PERHAPS Titus should focus on hitting moves and not swiveling his hips. 1, 2, Titus kicks out. Albright has him by the hair - Titus ducks the pull into a clothesline, but Albright puts a knee in the gut - has him up for a crucifix bomb - and hits the splash mountain (as called by Prazak) for 2, only a foot on the bottom rope saving Titus this time. Let's get a Replay of the Razor's Edge. Back to live action, a clothesline over the top rope sends Titus to the floor - Albright's gonna fly - pescado finds the mark! Count is up to 4 as Albright puts Titus back in. Albright's still on the apron outside - another knife-edge chop - tries to ram his head to the buckle but Titus blocks - and rakes the face. Titus with a drop toehold and Albright hits the floor. Titus out, brings him back in, cover, 2. "I got this, baby!" And he struts a bit. Boot to the head. Titus DOES ram his head into the top turnbuckle. Albright still down - Titus stomps on the head. Albright manages a chop, chop, coming back, chop (woooo!) but Albright goes to the eyes. Snapmares him over - and dropkicks the back of his neck! 1, 2, Albright kicks out! Scoop up by Titus - and slams Albright down. Here's a kneedrop! 1, 2, no. Titus doing MUCH better now - there's another set of claws to the eyes. And another thrust for the benefit of the audience. I'm sensing that this guy just MIGHT be a heel! We take another look at those UPCOMING LIVE RING OF HONOR DATES as Titus gives another shot to Albright. I think that right hand is quite dishonorable! Hips a little close to Albright's face on THAT thrust...and one more overhand right. Bringing him up - elbow to the face puts him back down. And now Titus clamps on the ol' rear chinlock as Those Who Chant start to work up a "Let's Go Albright." Titus turns his head to and fro to help it along - a valiant attempt, but you can tell this hall hasn't QUITE been filled with Chanting Idiots just yet. Maybe later in the taping they'll have figured it out. Albright back to his feet now - right to the gut, left, right, into the ropes, head down, Titus kicks, thrusts, off the ropes but Albright hits the leg lariat! Clothesline, clothesline/elbow, into the corner, dropkick and Titus is down - 1, 2, ANOTHER boot on the bottom rope. Another dandy suplex which I've forgotten the name of (let's say "cradle suplex" again) by Albright - Prazak says "exploder" so we'll go with that. Elbow by Albright, into the corner, Titus escapes the charge, but runs RIGHT into the big boot. And yet, Titus manages to dropkick Albright as HE comes out - 1, 2, Albright kicks out! Right hand by Titus, right, right, hey these punches are MOST dishonorable - Titus off the ropes - ran RIGHT into a URANAGE. Albright quickly hits the half nelson suplex and goes right into the Crowbar (Fujiwara armbar?) and Titus doesn't take much time tapping out. (submission 6:44) Replay of the suplex and crowbar - both are lethal, but apparently tonight Albright wanted a submission. Somehow, we AGAIN missed a handshake after the match - although Titus has found the most Gothic looking girl in the front row to pose with.

Let Us Take You Back to the Rising Above PPV in Chicago, IL and an "I Quit" match between Jimmy Jacobs and Austin Aries - here's some scissors, here's Lacey, and here's a towel - all this leads to Black walking away from Jacobs

And now Let Us Take You Back to Final Battle in New York, NY, Aries beat Black in a #1 Contender's match - now I believe that WAS a post-match handshake of honor except it was between Black and Jacobs...and also, it's immediately followed by a kick in the nuts by Jacobs. Before Jacobs could Pillmanize Black's head, Austin Aries ran back out...only to waffle Black with the chair himself. And here's Jacobs and Aries taking turns beating on Black. And there's a towel of some symbolism.

MAIN EVENT NEXT! I think that means - yes - this is the LAST time we have to see this graphic!

But before we do, here's a TALE OF THE TAPE for our main event:
TYLER BLACK                  JIMMY JACOBS
222 lbs. WEIGHT 172 lbs.
2005 PRO DEBUT 1999
9/15/2007 "Man Up" ROH DEBUT 6/28/03 "WrestleRave '03"
Davenport, IA FROM Grand Rapids, MI

THE 1...2...3!!! ON JIMMY JACOBS: Enbroiled in hateful feuds with Tyler Black and Necro Butcher / Tense Alliance w/ Austin Aries due to mututal hatred of Tyler Black / Finishing Hold(s): End Time (guillotine choke)

THE 1...2...3!!! ON TYLER BLACK: Never say die attitude / Currently battling former ally Jimmy Jacobs / Finishing Hold(s): God's Last Gift (small package driver), phoenix splash, turnbuckle powerbomb/superkick combination

YOUR MAIN EVENT
JIMMY JACOBS (Representing the Age of the Fall, 172 pounds - Violent and Evil) v. TYLER BLACK (Davenport, IA - 222 pounds - strong fan favorite)

Referee: Sinclair
TIME LIMIT: Television Time Remaining (about 20 minutes to the top of the hour)

Y'know....I don't want to give anything away, but I can't help but notice that the second man coming out has won every match tonight. These graphics are making me think that perhaps Jacobs is a heel and Black is a face! One MORE graphic corrects my spelling of the commentators' names - thank you. Since I have you here, I should also point out that while we get the ubiquitous network bug in the lower right corner for HDNet, there is as of yet *no* ROH bug *anywhere* on the screen. I kinda prefer it that way, but we'll see if it lasts. Okay, after making careful note that we're not going to have a handshake of honor this time around, let's get to the match. Black ready but Jacobs circling - lockup, no. Jacobs shoves. Black shoves and Jacobs lands on his keister. Her ewe go again - lockup, knee by Jacobs. Forearm to the back. Right hand of no honor. Headlock, Black powers out, nice dropkick. Right, right, right puts Jacobs outside and there's just no honor with all these punches. Is Black taunting? Whatever it was, it was enough time for Jacobs to recover and pull HIM to the outside. But its Black with the right, right, right, puts Jacobs back in, Black in as Jacobs goes out - ROHWrestling.com popup - and grabs a chair - or two. Say, I don't think those chairs follow the Code of Honor! Both chairs thrown in - Sinclair kicks one out while Black kicks out the other - but that means his back is turned, making him easy pickings for a double sledge as Jacobs rushes back in. Hogewood: "Look at him - POINTING AT HIS HEAD - PLAYIN' MIIIIIIIIIIND GAMES WITH HIS FORMER PARTNER." Uhhh, somebody needs to clue "Hog" in that pointing to your head is the international symbol for "I've totally outsmarted this cat. I'm so smart." Unlike... but enough of that. Was that a face rake? Jacobs turns him over as if to give him a neckbreaker - but instead clotheslines him down and into the cover - and that's BARELY a 1. Jacobs takes Black's head into the top turnbuckle. Big illegal right hand. Uses the top rope for a choke until the count gets close to 5. Into the ropes is reversed, Black going to dropkick - check that, he does a complete BACKFLIP after Jacobs holds onto the ropes - very neat! Black runs at Jacobs, but he low bridges him by yanking on the top rope - but Black lands on his feet on the apron - Jacobs running at Black but eats the head to the cut - Black up and over the ropes and connecting with the leg lariat on the way down. Black is ready - scoops him up - and slams him down. Boot on the neck and playing to the crowd - that's not very face like! So let's take a tight shot of a very unhappy Jimmy Jacobs - and there's a closeup of Jacobs eating a stomp to the mush! Hooks the leg - 1, 2, Jacobs kicks out. Black's getting methodical - right, right, whip out of the corner, but two boots up by Jacobs as he runs in - off the second rope - but into an atomic drop by Black (sorry, INVERTED atomic drop - if Prazak says it, I believe it) - Jacobs in the corner, Black right, right, right, stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp - ref having a little trouble conveying the lack of honor that Black is displaying. Black pulling the legs while Jacobs holds the top rope - this can't end well - but Jacobs manages to revers into a head scissors that takes Black into the second turnbuckle! And just like that, the fortunes have been reversed - Jacobs takes charge with a big fist - stomp, standing on the neck for almost 4, big stomp to the gut with a little help from the top ropes. Black's head driven to the mat. Putting him in position - Jacobs on the second rope, blows a kiss to the crowd, then drops a fist on Black. 1, 2, no! Jacobs to the chinlock - this doesn't last long as Black gets to his feet, but Jacobs takes him right back down with a headbutt. Head to the buckle. Left hand, kisses the right, lands the right. Jacobs with a big elbow to the head. Again playing to the crowd as if to say "please boo me!" Into the ropes is reversed, biiiig back body drop out by Black, clotheslines him down, knocks him down again, scoop...and a slam. Is it phoenx splash time? We won't know as Jacobs shoves Black OFF the corner and all the way to the floor! Hog: "That has got to hurt." This commentary has got to hurt! Jacobs on the apron - and off with an elbowdrop to the floor! Jacobs clutches his knee but he's still got bad intentions - chair positioned on the mat out on the floor. Have a seat, Tyler! Right hand - Sinclair steps in and it appears that he is just about out of tolerance for all this blatant dishonor going on. Jacobs comes back in...the stomps on Black as HE rolls back in. Boot lingers on the solar plexus and Jacobs grabs the ropes to give it that something extra as we wait out another not-a-5 count. Hog mentions that Jacobs is "obviously displaying his hatred right now for Tyler Black." Hair grab - and Black is rammed into the top buckle. Shoulder to the gut. Right hand. Pose to the crowd...and ANOTHER big shoulder drive into the gut. Snapmares him over, and dropkicks the back of the neck. 1, 2, no. Jacobs completely in control but the crowd works up a "Let's Go Tyler" chant as a smaller section of the crowd works up a dueling "Let's go Jimmy" while Hog says that "right now, I think it's the crowd that's really keeping Tyler Black going...as you can see he is just hanging on...and I mean that literally." Hoo boy. Jacobs with a full head of steam...right into two knees from Black! Both men run out, but Jacobs takes him down with a clothesline into a choke...for 4. Now a cover - 2! Jacobs with a mount, right hand, right...right, left, right. Sooooo much dishonor. Pulling Black into the corner - Jacobs with four consecutive stomps on Black's abdomen, then to the bottom rope, springing off with an elbowdrop! Jacobs now daring Black to do ANYTHING. Paintbrushing Black - and now Black has a surge! Double leg takedown, right right right right right right, Jacobs kicks him off, but they're both back up and it's all Black - right, right, right, right, gutshot by Jacobs, whip is reversed, BIG press by Black...and drops him to the mat! Black is stomping on the mat an awful lot - into the corner, connecting with a big forearm, beals Jacobs out, opposite corner sees Jacobs get under Black and put him over the ropes, Black landing on the apron, blocks, BIG enzuigiri from the apron over the ropes, springs in with a lariat, cover, 2! We go double feature for the springboard lariat - back to the action and Black wants a quebrada but as he springs off the second rope for the moonsault, nobody's home - so Black instead lands on his feet, then hits a standing shooting star press (!!!), hooks the leg, 1, 2, NO!!! Black is still psyching himself up...now climbing up and Prazak again thinks it might be time for the phoenix splash - hmm, I don't know if that was it or not, but what I DID see was Black off the top with a backflip and a twist and almost landing on his feet because Jacobs had AGAIN moved out of the way - Black rolling through after not quite sticking that landing (or maybe he does that every time he misses it?) There's the PEAR by Jacobs - 1, 2, NO!! Apparently, Jacobs' spear is a finishing move but not this time. Forearm to the back by Jacobs. Waistlock, reversed, reversed BACK, Black frees himself and hits ANOTHER big enzuigiri. And STILL Jacobs is able to grab the tights and throw Black over his head, through the ropes and to the floor. Jacobs on the run - up and over the ropes, landing on Black with a press and they BOTH hit the floor! In fact, I think there's a chair at the bottom of that pileup as well. Jacobs feeling better about himself right now. Throws Black in at the 5 count, back in himself, cover, 1, 2 no! Jacobs argues the count and loses. Choke for almost 4. Black positioned and Jacobs going up for what Prazak believes will be the trademark top rope senton - he IS on top - the senton it is, but Black gets up both knees and Jacobs hits HARD! Gutshot by Black, getting him up for the previously graphic'd God's Last Gift - but Jacobs reverses into the ALSO previously graphic'd up End Time - Black is still on his feet, so he tries to ram Jacob's back into the buckle to break that choke - but it doesn't work - going to the opposite buckle, same result - Black is BLACKING out (see what I did there?) but he FINALLY musters up some power and throws him off, front suplex release style - Black doing a Japanese style two fists to the mat/yell power up - and there's a ... MISSED superkick as Jacobs ducks - rolling him up - 1, 2, NO! Jacobs quickly back to the guillotine choke - Black is in the center of the ring, off his feet, and nowhere to save. Arm falls once - arm falls twice - ARM DOESN'T FALL THRICE as Black makes one more big push, swings his entire body over into a bridge - Jacobs will NOT let go of the choke - 1, 2, 3!! Black pins Jacobs! (13:50) "What emotion in this main event tonight!" Uhhh....okay. We take a replay of the final counter. "Copyright 2009 Ring of Honor Wrestling, Inc." notice is up - and we're out at 54 after!

I'm starting to think they don't actually shake hands after the match, EVER.

Oh wait, there's some more ads! (Yes, we only had the one ad break for 54 minutes of show.)

COMING UP ON RING OF HONOR: Meet Nigel McGuinness as he makes his HDNet debut, taking on Jay Brisco! All this and more, next time on Ring of Honor Wrestling on HDNet!

"You've been watching a special presentation of Ring of Honor Wrestling on HDNet!"

Also, there's a PPV 4/17 - Caged Collision - there's a brutal ten man steel cage war - Albright & Strong vs. Sweet & Sour, Inc. - and El Generico will take on Nigel McGuinness for the ROH World title! Don'tcha dare miss (paying for) it!

COMING UP: "Get Out!" is next! GET OUT!

Meet Brent Albright! This sounds a lot like his Smacktalk earlier. EXACTLY like his Smacktalk earlier, in fact. ROH is on next Saturday at this same time!

OKAY - I think NOW we're out, just after five to the hour. I think this is the standard slate of HDNet ads for HDNet at this point.

VERDICT: Hogewood is JUST AWFUL. I expect that he will improve with time, but I hope he was forced on ROH by HDNet or something - I'm sure they had several home-grown alternatives that would have been much better. Prazak can carry him, but he shouldn't HAVE to.

Still...after you take that away, you're left with a good show, a good WRESTLING show. The very concept may be unfamiliar to certain fans, but this is something that I think people might want to get into. Saturday nights might not be the best time for it, but there are several replays and let's face it, this is the sort of show the DVR was invented for.

ROH fans may be less forgiving, but hopefully will understand that these can't be the same type of show as the ones you pay for on PPV or DVD, out of necessity. I guess a big question is, will THIS show help sell PPVs or DVDs? As of RIGHT NOW, I'd say no, but it's WAY too early to make THAT determination. Stick around... we'll keep our eyes on it.

PERSONAL TO MARK CUBAN: I may still root for the Sacramento Kings, but that doesn't mean I'm not available for grant work - tweet me @kzim.

CRZ
CRZ@oowrestling.com or chris@kzim.com
Feedback is welcome via email, the OO Forums, or over at my message board, The W.

(edited by CRZ on 22.3.09 0049)


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geemoney
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Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.51
Two things:

CRZ, I believe that was Sammartino, not Thesz, in the ROH video package (oh, and welcome back to the recap game!).

And I agree about Hogewood....I like how whenever he didn't know what to say (it seemed), he'd always go to "he's hurt!" or some variation of that.
thecubsfan
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Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 1 day
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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00

    Now, to my knowledge, I've seen neither of these guys before


You've seen Kenny! Tough Enough 2 was just a long time ago.



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Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 36 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.63
Nice job CRZ, and welcome back.

I have bought a handful of ROH DVDs over the years, but was a fringe fan at best. That being said, this was a decent show. The limited commercial breaks helps a lot, and even though several matches are only 5-6 minutes or so, you get to see it all unlike TNA. This was my first time seeing Jacobs or Black wrestle after much hype on the net, and I was impressed.

This actually seemed like it was trying to be an alternative to WWE, unlike TNA. I say that as a fan of TNA, who say they are an alternative, but rarely go outside the tried and true formula that WWE has milked to death over the last 10-12 years. Looks like a new addition to the DVR schedule.





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jwrestle
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Since: 4.4.03
From: Nitro WV

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.23
    Originally posted by CRZ


    CRZ



Ok, what the HELL!?! Ok, I've really gotta get into the graphics you do. Something tells me you really like seeing your initials in different animations and fonts.

Oh, great ROH review. I saw ROH during Wrestlemaina 24 weekend. I still love and I guess hate a little chants.




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Since: 8.5.02
From: Milan-Ann Arbor, MI

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.10
A recap! From CRZ!! Best day of 2009. Nicely done, Zed.

I haven't caught any ROH at all but last year as I was finishing up my capstone at the university, a classmate of mine saw my Flair shirt and brought up wrestling. Big ROH fan himself. Seeing as they hit Detroit a lot I may end up checking them out eventually.




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Since: 10.12.01
From: LA

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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.92
Return of the king. I wept real tears.
CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.51
    Originally posted by AlbySure
    Return of the king. I wept real tears.
I too enjoyed DEAN'S Workrate Report (board.deathvalleydriver.com)!

(edited by CRZ on 22.3.09 2224)


El Nastio
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Since: 14.1.02
From: Ottawa Ontario, by way of Walkerton

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ICQ:  
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.17
    Originally posted by CRZ
      Originally posted by AlbySure
      Return of the king. I wept real tears.
    I too enjoyed DEAN'S Workrate Report (board.deathvalleydriver.com)!

    (edited by CRZ on 22.3.09 2224)


The return of CRZ & DEAN? On the same day? This truly has been a great day. Niether of you have missed a step at all, excellent work. Makes me wish I got the show so I could see the matches.



You know, I really don't know what to put here. Close your eyes and thank of something funny!
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Sector 7 Slums

Since last post: 1591 days
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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.04
Great debate segments.

The Age of the Fall: Changing the world one life at a time OR make-up wearing Nightmare Before Christmas fans who cut themselves? TEXT YOUR ANSWER TO 7777!!!

Tyler Black is Jeff Hardy's promo cousin.
Lexus
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Stafford, VA

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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.88
Loved it. Reminded me of the old first hours of 3 hour Nitro that were nothing but cruisers and luchadores. Okay, not really, there was no obligatory 6-man tag with El Dandy and the massive plancha after plancha spot, nor Tony Schiovane telling me how much of an idiot I am to be watching this junk when the GREATEST NITRO EVER happens during the second hour, but there was little wasted time going through inane storyline (that was usually when everything got greatest in the second hour). I digress; I loved it.

CRZ's back, Dean's back, BRADY PORCHE??? A boy can hope.

Prazak is awesome.

Brent Albright is Zangief with an armbar.

So to be a heel in ROH, you need to shop at Hot Topic?



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-Me.
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Silver Spring in the Land of Mary.

Since last post: 5 hours
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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
I finally finished it up on my DVR and while I wasn't "blown away" because of all the hype I've been hearing about, there was some pretty solid wrestling.

No 10-15 min long speeches, no 5-10 min long back stage shenanigans, or other such "sports-entertainment" things.

While the there weren't any storylines for the first three matches, that's ok. I wasn't bored at all with the action. The workers were pretty solid. I can't think of one really long rest spot (like Orton with an arm-bar).

They did a pretty good job of trying to show the back-story of the Black-Jacobs feud and I was REALLY impressed with Black. That aborted dropkick->black flip was jaw dropping. I had to watch that a few times.

I like The 1...2...3... and Smacktalk bits. It's a great way for new viewers to try to get a feel for the wrestler. Their moves, character, and makes their generic music entrances less boring.

I have to agree with everyone, Prazak is awesome and Hogewood is like a drunk uncle. He means well, but he's just not on the same page as everyone else. Like how Paul McGuire was during NFL broadcasts.

It did surprise me that none of their champs made it on the show, but I didn't realize going in that it was just a one hour show, so the "hour two" that I was expecting will probably be loaded a tad with the champs.

Like I said, nothing mind blowing, but it was a solid show with some nice graphics and I think it has nowhere to go but up.

Solid thumbs up from me.



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Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.39
But will you recap WWE Superstars on WGN America HD?
CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.51
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
    But will you recap WWE Superstars on WGN America HD?
Alas, I only get WGN America in SD. I will probably be finding some way to obtain HD copies, wink wink, and watch it on my laptop. (And not recap it.)

EDIT: You probably don't care, but just in case you were wondering, I do have assurances from Rick that the recap WILL see the light of day over on OOWrestling.com some time, presumably shortly before I start writing the recap for Show #2.

(edited by CRZ on 24.3.09 1818)


spf
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.16
I am kind of surprised by who they chose for their leadoff show. I understand not wanting to blow all of your big names right off the bat, but really none of the guys who truly are the top guys for ROH were there. No Danielson, no Nigel, no Briscoe. It would be like WWE premiering a show with no Cena, HHH, or Undertaker.

That said, I'll keep watching it, even if it sounds like Hogewood picked up all his pro wrestling announcing from old Vince McMahon tapes circa 1984.

The lack of music is a sad thing but understandable. I know either Gabe or Cary specifically mentioned that they made as much of a push as possible to at least get rights to "The Final Countdown" for Danielson, but that the fees were ridiculously high.



2007 and 2008 W-League Fantasy Football champion!
CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.51
You almost wonder if they put on this show first so that people who had no idea there was an ROH series wouldn't really MISS anything if they happened to tune in after all their friends did the word of mouth thing to raise awareness just in time for Show #2. I guess we'll know Saturday! (My guess is they're not THAT clever and show #2 will be a lot like show #1.)

I should add that I worked very hard to not see the spoilers for the first six shows so it wouldn't impact what I ended up writing. Hopefully I'll get less boring as I get more familiar with what we're getting.



Lexus
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Stafford, VA

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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.89
    Originally posted by spf
    That said, I'll keep watching it, even if it sounds like Hogewood picked up all his pro wrestling announcing from old Vince McMahon tapes circa 1984.


He's the perfect compliment to Prazak. Prazak is amazing on play by play, knowing exactly every hold and move that's happening at every moment calling the action (eh, so far). Hogewood is supposed to be color. He's not ten kinds of great like JBL, or even Tazz, but he's much closer to them on the spectrum than Steve "Mongo" McMicheal, Attitude Era Lawler (who's only two words were "Puppies!" and a high pitched squeal; know your history), or, ugh, Gagne.

For some reason, he reminds me of Woody Paige (usually seen on Around The Horn on ESPN), and that's not a bad thing when you consider he could have been like Don West.



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geemoney
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Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.51
    Originally posted by Lexus

    For some reason, he reminds me of Woody Paige (usually seen on Around The Horn on ESPN), and that's not a bad thing when you consider he could have been like Don West.

I can't stand Woody Paige. It takes him forever to make a point. And before his heel turn, West had actually become a serviceable color guy.
Texas Kelly
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Since: 3.1.02
From: FOREST HILLS CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE

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#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.16
Ladies and gentlemen, the following public service message is brought to you by your friends from D-Generation X, who would like to remind each and every one of you that if you're not down with that, we've got two words for you...

    Originally posted by CRZ
    Hogewood is JUST AWFUL. I expect that he will improve with time, but I hope he was forced on ROH by HDNet or something - I'm sure they had several home-grown alternatives that would have been much better. Prazak can carry him, but he shouldn't HAVE to.

Your suspicions are correct, CRZ... when the change was made in mid-February, it was indeed reported (411mania.com) that HDNet made the call to replace Lenny Leonard with Hogewood. It's certainly their right to given all the money that they're spending on this venture, but much like Fox putting a ball and chain on Joss Whedon, it's certainly not necessary the right thing.



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While the switch from Cena to RVD should alleviate some complaints, the inevitability of the belt's return to Cena (note where Summerslam is this year) and the poor initial showing by the new ECW are enough to keep the indicator where it is for now. The pieces are in place, though, especially on RAW, for improvements to be made to the IWC's psyche in the near future.
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Since: 2.1.02
From: MD, USA

Since last post: 127 days
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.26

I believe the explanation given is that HDNet wanted "a sports guy" on the show. Hence, the wrestlers being called "fighters."





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After a recap of the Big Show/John Cena/Vince McMahon segment, Smackdown opened with AJ's entrance. She showed footage of what she did with Kane on Monday, to cheers from the crowd.
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