I've turned off quick links for everybody, as I'm more and more certain that it's strategic combinations of old-time, non-forum-marking-read people hitting the index page that's causing our mysql to end up stacking up.
FYI/FWIW, I haven't seen any of the oddities since you made that change. Seems like a reasonable theory to me! Thanks.
Official party line is "find someone else who has it". Problem is they took out their search feature, so I can't very well tell you to search for it. I know a couple of people who have it, so I'll see if I can't hook you up.