I didn't take notes, so this will once again be more of a stream of consciousness list of stuff to look forward to than a detailed summary. If you really want to know what'll happen in detail, either watch the show yourself or wait for CRZ's Smackdown recap! (Cheap pop)
First off: the Crowd report. Overall, I think we did a much better job tonight than we did on Monday, but I'll leave that for you to judge.
The Marky-Mark of the night goes to the Hulkamaniac. Because Hulkamania never dies -- it lives with you until you're 40, drunk, still think this is all real and that everyone else thinks it's real, and are more than happy to mortify your teenaged daughter who agreed to accompany you in public for the last time.
The Smarky-Smark of the night goes to the guys next to me. How can I tell they were Smarks? The spent the whole show cheering the heels (Angle, Benoit, Eddie) and booing the faces (Rock, Edge). Finally, I asked the one who appeared to be their leader, "Do you write for 411wrestling?" His answer: "Sometimes." I KNEW IT.
Best banner: the folks in the nosebleeds waving the Canadian flag. Cheap heat at its best!
On to the spoilers.
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Rico rules. He and Hardcore pulled double duty tonight, wrestling both a singles match for Velocity (which had almost as much of a crowd reaction as the main event) and a 6-man tag match on Smackdown (Hardcore and Three-Count vs. Rico and the Ambiguously Gay Duo). Rico is so good at generating crowd heat that it's frightening. The heels won this round, and were proceeding with the beatdown... when MATT HARDY makes the save for the faces. The crowd wasn't sure whether to cheer him or boo him -- and they faces weren't too pleased either. I actually like where this is going. The post match segment was great, with Matt praising Steph for seeing how valuable he could be, and looking forward to some good times with his old friends.
Velocity also featured a great Kidman/Funaki vs. Noble/Tajiri main event. I'm not sure if the "Ich-i-ro" chant will make it into the show, but it was a good match. As for the winner, if you predicted that anyone but Funaki would get the pin, you guessed wrong. That alone was worth the $40.
However, they owe me $20 for making us sit through an Albert/Buchanan match, too. Other than an aborted attempt at a "Shave Your Back" chant and some rather impressive crawling by Bull, this match had the crowd dead.
There is hope for Rikishi yet. He took down Brock and went for the Stinkface, when Heyman makes the save. He knocks down Heyman, who flumps in the corner... Rikishi is torn, but he chooses Heyman. He moves in on Heyman, and suddenly Brock gets up and starts advancing. Without even really turning to look at him, Rikishi suddenly superkick's Brock right out of the ring, and proceeds to lodge Heyman's head so far up his ass that he had to pull himself out with his skullet.
Angle cuts a promo on Mysterio, and I'm not gonna spoil this at all. Just watch the damn thing (or read the recap *Thumbs up!*). Likewise, check out the new Subway commercial. Anyways, eventually Angle is set up with a match with Mark Henry. Some decent psychology, as Angle works the leg a lot to set up the ankle lock, and Henry does something that might be viewed as selling when compared to, oh, plywood.
There's a women's match between Torrie and Nidia. You're usual stuff, right up until KANE'S PYRO HITS. The Fire Still Burns. Is he Smackdown? Is he Raw? I guess we'll have to wait until Summerslam to find out. One note here: Funaki interviews Nidia before the match, who makes her usual slutty passes at him in the way that only she can get away with. Suddenly, an unconscious D'Von gets shoved through a door. Bautista quits.
Next up is Edge/Mysterio vs. Los Hobres Guerrero. If you predict the astoundingly short Rey to be YOUR Babyface In Peril, you guessed correctly. And I mean it with how small Rey is. He almost doesn't even need to walk to the ring. If he were any smaller, Edge could just carry him in his pocket from town to town, and could just unleash him every show to bring pain to evildoers, joy to children, and love to neglected housewives. A side note: During the Angle/Henry match, Rey runs in at the end. He attempts to give Kurt the 619 while Kurt is on the outside, only to miss the ropes and fly through it the first time he tried it. Again in this match, he sets up Chavo for the 619, AGAIN misses the spot, and AGAIN has to redo it. He was 0-2. But he sells the hell out of anklelock, I'll give him that.
And that brings us to our main event: Rock Vs. Benoit. Get ready.
Looks like a solid show again, I know *I'll* be watching!
Eddy. Chavo. Teaming again. Somewhere I can hear Dean crying.
"D-Von actually gets his head stuck up Rikishi's _ss and I am filled with love. love for wrestling. love for you. a love so true. like a perfect love. like a man and a woman. like a true wrestling fan and his or her love for CHRIS MOTHER____ING BENOIT."
So, I was minding my own business at the YoungCuts office when the phone rang. And I am thinking to myself, why is Steen calling me? And when did his voice get that deep when it occurs to me - That's not Kevin Steen - That's Kevin NASH!