PAS: Damn was that handicap match amazingly great. It was something I had no desire to see, but was a ton of fun. I am digging the new WWE style and there was some really choice work over RVDís arm, especially by Flair who busted out a bunch of nifty stuff he never does. I especially liked the hammerlock/knee drop combo, and the armbar with the twisting and pushing of the wrist. RVD looked surprisingly okay as he actually sold the arm sort of.
TKG: That was weird as all fuck. The MONSTER BATISTA with the hammerlock. I mean RVD has some over spots you use him as a hot tag guy, you donít make him work the bulk of the match. But fuck it worked. His normally shitty kicks and punches looked good, and he isnít Hiro Saito but the senton looked nice. He actually didnít forget to sell the arm. I also like the new WWE style.
PAS: If they are trying to educate the fans that big moves mean something, having Jericho sell that Powerbomb for 10 minutes is a really good way. I am totally shocked that I donít have anything to shit on here.
PAS: Joshi tag was pretty fun even though Lita was so wasted that she could barely walk down to the ring. I especially liked all the work on Victoriaís hurt chin, including all the Finlaytastic cravate variations.
TKG: Damn Lita was either stoned or drunk. Full on dilated pupils. It looked like she might be hanging out backstage with Austin or something. It might not be a bad idea for him to start going after younger tang. They put up with more so you donít have to hit them as hard or something. But match was good with Victoria as a fine poor manís Tully to Litaís poor manís Gino. I also liked all of Litaís offense as I dig the stripper-pole-currana and her STOíS. As Ross talks about her judo backgroundÖI kind of want to see her and Ogawa vs. Fujiwara and Thundercracky. Stevie really does need to take her aside and tell her about his friend Mikey.
PAS: After watching Andy Dick do some nice Brazillian Ju-Jitsoish guard work on Tom Greenís fat sidekick I think he and Lita could have the best crack head Bumfights Vale Tudo match ever.
PAS: Mark Henry and Goldberg are my two favorite guys on this show, so I am all for them working together. Some nice stiff stuff although not nearly enough. How much Whitefish did Goldberg eat before the match to be that fleghmy.
TKG: I think he has to spit two times everytime he passes a HBK shirt. Short armed clothesline was nice. This match should have been longer or Henry realy needs to realize that the two should be allied and not fighting. He has to realize that to be successful Black talent you need to dump your black manager and work with the Jew. I really thought they were going to set that up as Henry had a great look of disgust as he had to protect the lightskinned brother. ďOk OJ so now that your in trouble, now your black. Yeah sure Thomas, now its an electronic lynching, it didnít bother you when you and your Catholic school buddies burned the Cross outside the AME churchÖBut now you expect me to defend you, you fucking sell out. Well Ok Iíll do it, but Iím not happy about it.Ē
PAS: As long as Mick Foley isnít doing his warm hearted motivational speeches he is still pretty great on the mike. I especially dug him busting his own eye open. I would be into a Flair v. Foley RAW match with lots of blood.
TKG: Orton really had the great look of ďbad assĒ frat guy who made fun of homeless guyís missing eye. Suddenly homeless guy turns out to be crazy and tells him ďFor a dollar Iíll let you touch the socketĒ. Orton looks lost at what to do. Funny Foley doesnít appeal to me. For a wealthy man, crazy homeless Foley has all this pent up class hatred and shit. Worked.
What Didnít Work
PAS: Jerichoís Howard Dean thing was kind of funny, but Jesus did Ross and Lawler step all over his joke. Look dimwits let the guy tell the joke, he doesnít need exposition from you two.
TKG: Maven really seems to be tailor made for the role of Trishís emasculated friend. You know the guy whoís shoulder she cries toÖĒooh my boyfriendís so mean..why canít I ever meat a nice guy. Why do they always hurt meĒ. Maven should be doing the friend schtick.
PAS: Why the hell did Trish and Jericho spend that entire segment playing with their hair. It was like watching Nash flirt with Nash.
TKG: Aw fuck I donít want Benoit on this show. Wow that segment with Benoit managed to bury everyone.
PAS: Buries Beniot because he looks secondary to Micheals, Buries Lesner because Beniot doesnít want his useless belt. Makes Beniot v. HHH secondary to the HHH v. Micheals rematch that really means something.
TKG: Yeah it really makes Benoit look like King Cobra challenging for Lawlers belt between Jimmy Valiant challenges. Yeah Valiant rightfully should get the next shot but the rules mean we have to kill time with King Cobra for a month. Helmsley vs. HBK really is a shitty version of not very skilled but can brawl well vs. really does a tremendous job is a brawler, much to my dismay.
PAS: To be fair Beniot is the worlds greatest King Cobra.
TKG: Bubba vs. Kane stank and Conway tried but that Rico match was ungood.
PAS: I was amused at the new WWE style in Rico v. Conway as they did a chinlock spot in a three minute match that was only on the show to set up Bernie Kosar flashing her Silicone Valley
I am EXTREMEly disappointed that neither of you made the obvious-yet-still-expected "Must have just missed the interview where Bubba Ray Dudley dedicated his performance in tonight's match to the memory of Jack Tunney" joke for which I spent the entire report waiting
Originally posted by ripblazerIs it just me or would Beniot's move have made a lot more sense if Heyman traded him to Raw to make good on his promise that Beniot would never get a shot at Lesnar again?
I mean, wasn't the story that Beniot was determined to win the Rumble to get another shot at Lesnar?
I think the bigger issue is this out-of-nowhere reasoning that the rules don't stipulate which champion the winner faces. During the build-up to last year's Rumble, they went out of their way to state that the winner of the Rumble faces "his brand's champion".
Maybe Heyman will bring this up on Thursday, but I'm thinking not.
CRZ says: "I am EXTREMEly disappointed that neither of you made the obvious-yet-still-expected "Must have just missed the interview where Bubba Ray Dudley dedicated his performance in tonight's match to the memory of Jack Tunney" joke for which I spent the entire report waiting".
I'm gonna have to apologize for that. I probably should also apologize for the fact that I can never figure out ow to do the quoting thing on this board.
The original joke was going to be something like: " What Didn't Work:
TKG: I have mixed feelings about the Jack Tunney tribute video package that Ken Russel directed. And well all the pictures of graveyards, worms and the phallic balding heads with the ten bell salute in the background really was really evocative of our natural fear of aging and decay and yet the constant picture of the solid chair I guess was supposed to represent the solidity of life and all. It was really expressionistic and I guess I'm all for WWE taking chances here. But call me old fashioned, I'd rather have just seen a simple photo and moment of silence."
I couldn't remember the name of the guy who used to do the WWF video packages who just left. So didn't bother with the joke.
Don't worry , more wrestling figures will die soon enough...I'll try harder next time.
Originally posted by tomkBernie Kosar- played for Cleveland Browns.
Jackie like the Browns has a nice uniform but an ugly helmet.
This really was the report where we could've used full on endnotes.
I've always preferred the Terry Pratchet, "This joke is so incomprenhisble that the footnote explaining it has to have it's own footnote." The man's a genius.
As for learning to quote? Instead of hitting the Reply button, hit the Quote button, and look at the way the tags are used. Then the next time you want to quote, just put the name of the person inside the brackets, and cut 'n paste. Woo.
"I'm going to go now and demand beer money from my representative. We simply must deal with the problem of my sobriety." - PalpatineW
That's just a wee bit too much (repeated bad pun intended). Keep it simple, and keep it down to Billy and Chuck. Goldust just enjoys messing with people's minds. I'll think of something witty later, I promise.