With all the dancing and fake-guitar playing and general love of the plundah, I think it can be said: Buh-Buh Ray Dudley thinks he's New Jack. I just hope he doesn't try any of New Jack's crazy, career-ending splashes off 25 foot tall stuff!
"I hate motherfuckers claimin' that they foldin bank But steady talkin shit in the holding tank First you wanna step to me Now your ass screamin for the deputy They send you to Charlie-Baker-Denver row Now they runnin up in ya slow You're gone, used to be the Don Juan Now your name is just 'Twan Switch it, snap it, rollin your eyes and neck You better run a check..."
I gotta agree with ya, Booker T is the MAN. Did anybody notice them screw up Eddie G's entrance? Back to Booker, he needs a fued, they need him on TV more. And wheres D'Lo Brown? Isnt he on RAW?
You know youre old when you try to convince some kid that was born in the freakin 80's that Samus Aran could whip Lara Croft's cave dwelling ass. Honestly, has there ever been a cooler weapon in the history of video games than the Screw Attack?
You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling towards you. You reach down and flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Lawler is really doing a diservice to the whole womens division. Molly and Trish were putting on a half decent wrestling match and Lawler can't do anything but talk about puppies. It's one thing when the women are prancing around at ringside or in a cat fight, but for goodness sakes Lawler, how are we supposed to take this match seriously with your incessant yapping?
Thumbs down to Jackie and Crash.
Thumbs way up to the team of Regal and Eddy.
Thumbs downs for "Latino Heat" music. WHen they had that delay there at the beginning of Eddy's entrance, I was really hoping his old WCW tune would hit. That song rocked. It fit his character perfectly. Thumbs down for oogling Terri too. It just looked so hokey.
Thumbs up to RVD and his continued offensive innovation. Nobody breaks out new moves and variations of moves like he does.
That new WWF Undisputed Championship belt is only about 3 weeks old it already has a button missing. Whats the deal with that? I think it was like that on SmackDown too. I guess they don't build 'em like they used to.
BTW, Bradshaw's spiel about Planters was pretty damn funny.
-God help me. For the second week in a row one of my highlights involved the Undertaker, giving a hella cool interview which emphasized the importance of the WWF title.
-Booker T, as others have stated, is a God. I could watch 2 hours of Booker being annoyed by everything around him.
-Steve Regal is my hero. That interview was just golden, and made me laugh my ass off.
-I FUCKING HATE JERRY LAWLER! I hope he diddles some police chief's 13 year old daughter and finally goes to jail for statutory since sadly they can't jail him for sucking on the mic. He's doing his damndest to kill any credibility the women's division is trying to gain. And after a while the virginity thing moved from annoying to somehow offensive and creepy. I blame JR for playing along, but in the end Lawler is the catalyst of this shit.
-Brock Lesnar is not of human born. And Matt Hardy will die on Sunday. Which is going to be quite fun to watch actually. Way to go on the creepy stalker vibe Paul
-Steve Austin has begun to bore the piss out of me these days. The interviews are boring, the matches are formulaic, his character really does nothing of interest. I really am starting to wish he'd get pissed off and walk out again.
(edited by spf2119 on 16.4.02 0011)
"You used it to shove your miserable daughter down our throats week in and week out...not anymore!" - Ric Flair gives me hope, Raw 3/18/02
"I thought it was cool how HHH just tossed Jericho out of the ring and made him vanish, possibly into another dimension, at the end of the match." - Dr. Unlikely says the funniest thing I've ever read on Wienerville.
twoelitistsnobs, filling all your bitter pop culture reviewing needs
1)Every wrestler seems to pause in his/her delivery, which is fine...considering how pervasive the "What" chant still is.
2)I had to laugh at JR and Triple H put over Hulkamania with the Aggie crowd giving mentions of Hogan a noticeably tepid reaction, along with some very audible booing. Also, in the main event when JR and Lawler were discussing how Triple H would react with Hogan being the clear fan favorite---not if the Kemper Arena crowd is anything like the Raw crowd he won't be. I'd say that it was just a Raw crowd not reacting so loudly to a Smackdown guy, but the crowd popped huge coming out of the Rock's SNL/Scorpion King clips--so I won't. Could the ride be over ALREADY??? If so, putting Hogan in the title match now was a brilliant move.
3)Lita needs to start exercising--not pretty when the gut hangs over the thong underwear. And what's with letting Lita completely fall apart both physically and mentally? Everytime I see her, she reminds me of Shannon Hoon from Blind Melon's No Rain video...just lazy, spaced, and stoned out of her gourd.
4)Would it have killed JR to do more than just mention that Raven does color on Heat and actually put over that he's doing a hell of a job? I heard people giving him positive reviews, so I caught the last half hour of the show, and just by virtue of the way commentates like a HEEL, while putting over the MATCH already makes him the best the WWF has to offer....from where I sit.
5)Eddy Guerrero has been gone for a year, and the best they could come up with for a character was...the old character?
6)I think that development gives hope to D'Lo Brown who will have the opportunity to be either a pimp or a turban wearing loser.
There was more, but I'm tired...show overall was pretty good. Build up the heels, I say. Build 'em all up!
"Hitler had pieces of flair that he made the Jews wear."
--People who root for Steve Austin are idiots. His interviews (once a highlight of every card) have turned into list after list after list so that the idiots in the crowd can chant “What?” His matches are boring the hell out of me. And he's been alienating the one person who's been nice to him for the last few months in Ric Flair. If it hadn't been for Flair, remember, Vince McMahon would have stripped Austin of the WWF Title and awarded it to Kurt Angle the night after Survivor Series.
--On the other hand, Undertaker (whom I once hated) is simply kicking so much ass right now, it's unreal. The way he emphasized how important the WWF Title is to him, it's making me root for him to beat Austin and then win the title. Keep in mind, I used to be a card-carrying member of the “Mark Calloway's Old Ass Should Retire” club. But now, I'm simply waiting for Steve Austin to get the fuck off of my television forever.
Hardcore Title Match
With the brief Hardcore Title reign, Raven has now become a 15-time Hardcore Champion, and has overtaken Crash Holly for most Hardcore Title wins ever. Tommy Dreamer and Steven Richards won their very first Hardcore Titles, and when Bubba Ray Dudley won it back, he became a 7-time Hardcore Champion. That's what house show title change after house show title change will do to you.
So, who again thought they were gonna start taking the Hardcore Title seriously? Can I see a show of hands? The Hardcore division will never be taken seriously as long as the 24/7 rule is in effect.
Stasiak v. The Big Show
“Planet Stasiak”? I think Shawn Stasiak has rammed head-first into one too many hard metal objects. Nice to see something of a new gimmick for him. His strategy of trying to wear down The Big Show's legs was actually a great idea, but he went for the figure-four far too quickly and it cost him.
Next time, go after his left hand. There might still be a lingering injury there from when the nWo pulverized it about five years ago.
I know, I'm pathetic, remembering that.
Eddie Guerrero's Interview
Great job on the mic by Eddie Guerrero. And it was interesting that he subtly mentioned the drug problem he had not too long ago. That'll get all the smarks talking, I guarantee.
Booker T and Goldust
I'll say it as well-- Booker T cracked me the hell up. His facial expressions were simply gold.
Crash vs. Jackie
OK, so now Crash is Disco Inferno? Next time somebody comes out before a match against Crash, they should say, “Bring out the dude that lost to the chick,” like Scott Hall did before a match with Disco--
--five years ago. What's up with all this WCW trivia floating around in my brain?
Horrible match, by the way. Jackie would be better served as a referee, while I'd like to see Crash get more involved in the Hardcore division.
William Regal interview
Damn, all of the backstage segments kinda ruled ass tonight. Regal's was no exception. That dude can cut a promo something fierce, to be sure. Although if Coach had reminded me of the ass-kissing thing, I wouldn't have threatened to whoop him-- I'd have just done it. Coach deserved it on this exchange.
RVD/Spike vs. Regal/Guerrero
An outstanding match in my view. Nice to see that Eddie's still got it in the ring. His finishing Spike Dudley with the Frog Splash was a nice way of telling RVD that he's next. But somehow I think that RVD will retain at Backlash, but the feud will hopefully be far from over.
Women's Interview and Match
Why in the blue hell are they allowing Lawler behind the mic, anyway? I was at least as offended by his commentary as everybody else was. I could visualize Lawler's eyes lighting up throughout the match as he conjectured as to Molly's virginity like he'd want to pop her himself. Y'know something Jerry, I can think of enough sick comments myself without listening to a 50-year-old man try and make them for me. The WWF shouldn't have had Lawler and the women's division on the same show, because with Lawler's commentary, the division will never be taken seriously. Never mind that Molly and Trish busted their asses to put together a great match, all Lawler could think about was “WOOHOO! PUPPIES!” Well, I for one am sick of listening to him.
About the match itself. Figures that they'd give Trish the win, right? I think this will make the fourth consecutive PPV that Trish and Jazz will battle each other. As you're probably guessing, I would have loved to see Molly win the match, but I knew it wouldn't happen because they don't like to have heel vs. heel matches on PPVs. And I can understand that to an extent. Still, it pisses me off that Trish (and Lita, and everyone else) always seems to get the important victory over Molly.
OK, I know Bradshaw's a proud Texan. I can respect that. What bothers me is that whenever he's in Texas, he always uses all the Texas references to get cheap pops. Cheap pops in general piss me off-- interviews should consist of much more than that.
Great segment. Heyman plays the cold, calculating and slightly looney character to perfection. The way he threatened Lita was a great way of foreshadowing what Lesnar will do to Matt Hardy on Sunday-- namely, kill him.
Booker T and Goldust seem to be a pretty good team. I'm all for keeping them together, because they're definitely an Odd Couple and I loved Booker's expressions when Goldust did his weirded-out shit. It's also nice to see someone finally defeat the Hardyz-- and even nicer to see Booker T do it. If you'll remember, Booker T (with Test) lost both the WWF and WCW World Tag Team Titles to The Hardyz-- and both times due to outside interference by either The Undertaker or Lita. Nice to see that there was no Cheatacanrana during the match.
When Lesnar hit The Move on Matt Hardy, I thought Matt was dead. Holy shit, what a move-- and even moreso when hit on the stage. Matt could bring Jeff, Lita, Trish, Essa Rios, Goldberg, Godzilla and King Kong with him to ringside at Backlash, and I don't think it'd make a damn bit of difference.
Triple H interview
Triple H was gold on the mic tonight, as were most people. You get the feeling that Triple H will do absolutely anything to defeat Hogan at Backlash, and the tension will continue to mount up until Sunday night.
Austin/Bradshaw vs. Undertaker/nWo
OK, I knew the heels couldn't be paid enough money to beat Austin and Bradshaw in Texas. But it was nice to see a post-match ass-kicking. The only thing that would've made it better would have been for Hall and Syxx to break out the spraypaint cans.
(edited by ekedolphin on 16.4.02 0159)
“If there's anything I hate, it's a loud-mouthed Canadian with blonde hair who dresses like a rock star... except you, you're cool.”
--Kurt Angle to Chris Jericho, Smackdown 4/11/2002