The HHH segment was hilarious. He's great at imitating the other wrestlers. I think the only other Raw roster star that could pull that off would be Jericho. HH can hold down people until the new year as far as I'm concerned now. I thought when HH last week accused Kane of necrophelia was worse than tonight. Right when you see HH in that room you had to start laughing. He was using his mocking voice thoe whole time too.
People get mad at someone humping some doll, sheesh.
Well, Raw has finally outdone itself and presented one of the most appalling things I've ever seen in my years of watching wrestling...perhaps television in general. I was genuinely upset by seeing them put something like that on the air, and you know, this wasn't something new, they've been building to this garbage for a while now, letting the ball roll down the mountain leading to this final, horrible visual transgression, and it just may be the thing to finally get me to stop watching again.
Lance Storm doesn't have pants anymore.
They should have learned a lesson back when HHH was cool for the only time in his career, when he had his nifty two-tone H pants and his sans-lyric theme, but no, he lost them, added lyrics to his theme and killed wrestling back in the year 2000. We've seen Booker T lose the best pants in all of wrestling, his mighty flamepants from the Harlem Heat days. But was that enough? No. X-Pac had to leave after his pants disappeared. Now Test has lost his pants, Billy Kidman has lost his pants and Bubba Ray Dudley must have just escaped, as only his pant legs have been stolen, leaving him with jams. Clearly, Christian's normal pants have been stolen, forcing him to wear that stupid gear he has now. And all this was terrible. But a pants-free Lance Storm? No thank you and good day, sir.
This just sums up how WWE has grown out of touch with what its fans want to see and the very nature of the characters they put on television. Lance Storm without pants? This is the man who invaded Raw on behalf of WCW while wearing his wrestling pants because he's a professional and wouldn't wear street clothes to get the job done. I refuse to accept the idea that Lance Storm might go out in public without pants. Lance Storm is the kind of guy who would go into a public swimming pool with pants on. He wouldn't step foot on a beach without having pants. And if he went to a store to buy new pants, he'd have to try the new pants on over the pants he was already wearing. That's just who Lance Storm is.
So what's with this garbage they're giving us? Is there a pants thief in World Wrestling Entertainment? Could it be Jericho, the last man standing (in pants)? The Undertaker, motivated to steal pants because of the subconscious shame of knowing that he's destroying his marriage when he drops his pants with those women on the road? Maybe Kevin Nash, in an effort to make sure that soon, he and HHH will have the market cornered on pants and long hair? Maybe it's Kane, who kinda wears pants and has already killed and engaged in sexual acts with the dead, so really, stealing's not such a big deal.
All I know is, this isn't what I signed on for. When I watch a wrestling program, I expect to see wrestlers wrestling, and when Lance Storm is one of those wrestlers, he should be wrestling while wearing pants.
Also, people shouldn't be having sex with corpses.
Ha ha, yeah, remember that, when HHH had sex with that corpse just like Kane did so many years ago? How wacky! So yeah, that was terrible, and not funny terrible because HHH isn't funny. He is, however, really good at making sure guys like Jericho get stuck walking dogs ans scoopin' poop up until they lose to him, or guys like Kane get stuck talking about killing people and violating them up until losing to them. So he's got that going for him, which is nice. I only wish he'd used the power of the Gamecock - the power that drove those girls in the showers nuts for him and made Stacy Keibler go briefly insane with lust when merely looking at HHH - to screw Katie Vick back to life. Well, at least he used his heat vision to pop the lock on the car trunk at the end of the show, which was Sid-level funny.
Dr. Unlikely, you are truly the funniest person on the planet. If you ever write a book of observations on wrestling, I promise to buy enough copies all by myself to make sure it sells better than any Scott Keith book ;)