TONIGHT: WWE.com asks all the pertinent questions, so I don’t have to: “What’s A.J.’s game plan following her stunning actions last week? Who’s next on Alberto Del Rio’s hitlist? And just WHO is the GM for tonight’s Raw Supershow?”
-A video package recapping the recent events surrounding AJ, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan aired.
-Into the arena they went, where AJ came out. Michael Cole called this episode #999, two away from 1,000. That’s WWE math for you. AJ got the mic and before she began, the fans started to chant “yes.” AJ said because she is special ref at MITB, her actions can greatly affect the match. Now “what” chants began. She asked the fans to help her welcome WWE Champion CM Punk. Punk made his entrance and came to the ring. “I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could throw the Big Show. But I would kiss her,” said Jerry Lawler. Glad to know where Lawler stands vis-à-vis the kissing of AJ.
Punk came out and asked AJ what this was all about. She said Punk showed his true feelings for her on Smackdown when he said she was mentally unstable and needed professional help. She disagreed with both assessments. Long pause, and a chant of “AJ’s crazy” picked up. AJ said no one has ever cared about her, let alone show compassion and concern like Punk did. She said when she kissed him, she knew what she had to do. More pauses as AJ started gushing about Punk. The crowd booed when she started talking about his eyes and getting all sentimental. She said Punk fills her with passion and desire. “You turn me on,” she said. Punk didn’t seem to know quite how to take this news. “Now I know what I have to do,” she said. She backed away and got down on one knee. The crowd booed this, too. Punk REALLY didn’t know what to do at this point.
AJ asked Punk to marry her. The crowd exploded after she popped the question. Punk looked around as if he was on the Price is Right looking for the crowd to give him a number. “No! No! No!” shouted Daniel Bryan as he ran down the ramp and to the ring before Punk could answer. Bryan told AJ she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life, and he couldn’t allow her to do it. He said Punk doesn’t lover her. Bryan said Punk is playing her and doesn’t really care about her. Punk finally spoke up to tell Bryan he doesn’t know anything about him, so he should shut up. Bryan then tried to goad Punk into saying “I do.” Punk didn’t respond. “This man sees you as a special referee…I see you as a special person.” Only in pro wrestling can that be a romantic line. Bryan said he didn’t intend to stop a proposal tonight…he intended to make one. So HE got down on one knee. Punk called shenanigans and asked to see Bryan’s ring. He didn’t show one so Punk called him a fraud. Punk wanted to talk about things backstage, but Bryan told Punk not to get behind him and his fiancée. The lights blinked as did the all-too-familiar noise, signaling an e-mail from the anonymous Raw General Manager.
Michael Cole took the black curtain off the podium and read the piece of paper taped to the laptop. The anonymous GM is running Raw tonight. The GM thinks Punk and AJ make a great couple and will thus team in a mixed tag match against Daniel Bryan and Eve. Bryan was upset at this development and the GM e-mailed in wishing them all good luck. AJ said the entire thing is confusing and that they all need some time to think. AJ said she was really happy they have the match tonight, because she believes that everything happens for a reason. She said she had a feeling she’d walk out of the arena with her future husband. AJ skipped to the back. I can’t wait for AJ and Bryan to create the love tester, only for it to go off when Punk and AJ are holding the straps.
-Tonight, Chris Jericho & Big Show team up to face John Cena and Kane.
(1) Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger No entrance for poor Swagger tonight. Cole talked about the injuries Sheamus suffered on Tuesday night after the attack by Del Rio. Sheamus took over during a corner attack and hit White Noise. Brogue Kick and a nice one followed.
Winner: Sheamus, at :58. Quick win for Sheamus after getting laid out on Tuesday.
Alberto Del Rio came on the TitanTron. He was next to a red car. Sheamus vowed to take the World Title, then hopped in his car. An angry Sheamus gave Swagger another Brogue Kick.
-Santino Marella was talking to Zack Ryder backstage, congratulating him on winning the Battle Royal to run Smackdown last Tuesday. Ryder said he has more personality than the Raw GM at least, and Marella said he heard the anonymous GM is in the building tonight. He made it his mission to find that person tonight. HE put on his Sherlock Holmes hat, pipe and magnifying glass to search for the GM. It’s gotta be Backlund.
-The announcers were shown on-camera as they talked about The Rock’s Tweet where he said he’d be on the 1,000th episode of Raw and again made mention of wanting to go after the WWE Championship.
(2) Christian & Tyson Kidd vs. Dolph Ziggler & Tensai No entrances for anyone here. High elbowdroop by Ziggler. Great neck-breaker by Kidd. Vickie Guerrero was on commentary for the match. Christian tagged in and landed an elbow to the chin off the top rope. Tensai tagged in and ran over Christian, then knocked Kidd off the apron. Middle-rope dropkick by Christian. As Sakamoto distracted the ref, Ziggler took out Christian. Back splash and it’s over.
Winners: Tensai and Ziggler, at 1:33. They really rushed through this, and it sure felt like it.
Post-match, Tensai continued the beat-down on Kidd. He powerbombed Kidd into the apron, then followed with a back splash.
-Cole and Lawler were back on camera, where Cole got to voice his opinion that the anonymous GM should run Raw. Lawler voted for Long. The two got to arguing and Cole accidentally knocked a cup of water into Lawler. The GM pinged in but Cole read the e-mail to himself, then got upset and said he refused to read it. Lawler then did so – the GM made Lawler vs. Cole for this evening in a Wrestlemania re-match. Crowd chanted “Jerry” as Cole ranted off-mic in anger. The GM chimed in again, saying he’d let the WWE Universe decide if the match should take place. The crowd cheered loudly and Lawler said they’d have to go to WWE.com to vote.
-The Lawler vs. Cole WWE.com poll was hyped.
(3) Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre At the end of Clay’s entrance, McIntyre was shown at ringside, sitting in a chair, feet up on the announce desk. Clay stopped short of missing a corner charge. McIntyre with a kick from the apron, but he came off the top and ran right into a headbutt. Big splash ende dit.
Winner: Clay, at :35. Yup, that was a squash. Not much else to say, really.
Members of the WWE Universe danced with Clay as Cole tried to get the WWE Universe to vote against his match.
-Marella was following the clues backstage and accused Chris Jericho of being the anonymous GM. Jericho said he hates that computer and then said Marella’s disguise could just be a ruse and that HE’S really the GM. Marella left in a huff leading to Big Show walking up. Jericho reminisced about their past history as a strong tag team. I hope we hear that theme song again! Show said some of his most embarrassing moments came as part of JeriShow. He told Jericho to stay out of his way or he’ll knock him out.
-That big tag match is next. At least, that’s what the graphic says. Cole said we’ll hear from Cena next.
-Stephanie McMahon’s Raw 1,000 moment was her tricking Triple H into believe she’s pregnant. Wait, didn’t she already have a moment last week, a completely different one? February 11, 2002 was the marriage episode, but Hunter had found out she was lying about being pregnant. And of course, Vince took a bump.
-A reminder that Charlie Sheen will be Raw’s Social Media Ambassador during Raw episode 1,000 in two weeks.
-John Cena came out. Cena said he’s excited for Money in the Bank. He talked about the risk vs. reward inherent in each MITB match. He also mentioned the 100% cash-in success rate. Cena stood by his word that he’ll win in six days at the PPV. Kane’s pyro went off and he came out. Chris Jericho was next, then Big Show.
(4) John Cena & Kane vs. Chris Jericho & The Big Show That Cena vs. Kane feud seems like it was so long ago, doesn’t it? Or not. Cena and Jericho fought over a top wrist-lock, then Cena landed a shoulder-tackle for one. Bulldog out of the corner on Jericho. Jericho made the tag to Show, and the two partners argued a bit. Cena ran into a choke, but Cena escaped and tagged Kane. Good pop for him entering the match. Show shoved Kane off a lock-up. Overhand right missed and Kane went to work pummeling Show in the corner. Corner clothesline by Show turned things around. Headbutt then knocked Kane out of the ring. Jericho got in a cheap shot. Show continued his offense, then stopped to trash talk Cena. Cena and Jericho both came in and a referee distraction by Jericho led to Show stopping Cena’s momentum. They went to break 4:25 into the match.
Back at 7:18 with Show having his way with Cena. Cena jumped into Show’s arms for a bear-hug. Back suplex by Cena on Show. “That’s impossible!” shouted Lawler. Both men were down at the 9:00 mark of the contest. Kane tagged in, and he got Show with a low dropkick, then once Show got on his feet, a jumping DDT. Out of nowhere, Show speared Kane, but Kane kicked out after a pin attempt. Jericho made the tag, and my, the tag rope looks like it’s grown quite long as of late. Not that it really matters, but isn’t the point to make it short so the person has to stand in the corner? Looks like you could walk halfway to the next turnbuckle and still have a hold of the thing. Jericho choked Kane in the middle rope and brought down a knee to the back of the neck of Kane. Show with a punch to Kane and they took another break at 11:57.
And we’re back at 15:10. Jericho had Kane down on the mat, but Cena got the crowd into it and Kane got to his feet, backing Jericho into a neutral corner. Jericho with a boot to the face, but he ran right into a sidewalk slam. Cena made the hot tag and did his usual offensive routine. Taking out Show almost cost him, but an Attitude Adjustment into a pin was broken up by Show, who pulled Cena out of the ring. The bell then rang for some reason. Disqualification on Show and Jericho I guess?
Winners: Cena and Kane, via DQ, at 16:31. Weak. If you’re going to do a DQ in that fashion, at least announce it since we rarely see it called on something like that.
Show continued his onslaught after the match, grabbing a ladder and mowing down both Jericho and Kane with it. Cena was thrown into the barricade by Show earlier, hence his lack of involvement. Show pressed the ladder into the body of Jericho, but Cena came from behind with another ladder, knocking Show out of the ring. Cena’s music played to end the segment.
-The announcers reacted to what we just saw, then tossed it to a video package that recapped the opening segment. Tonight, Punk and AJ take on Eve and Bryan.
-Cole said he’s heard from everyone who didn’t want to see him in the ring, so he implored those people to go to WWE.com and vote “no” on his match with Lawler.
-Punk was backstage getting ready for his match when Eve walked by him. She stopped and wished him good luck. Eve said she wasn’t talking about the match, but the situation with AJ. She said if AJ doesn’t hear the words “I do” tonight, she’ll make sure Punk doesn’t leave the PPV as champion. She said it can’t be easy for Punk being overshadowed by The Rock, John Cena, Triple H, even Brock Lesnar during his reign. But AJ? That must be pretty emasculating. She walked off after again wishing him good luck.
-More hijinks with Marella. He came upon what he believed to be the cell phone of the anonymous Raw GM. It belonged to Great Khali, who first admitted to being the Raw GM, then when Santino asked again, said no. “Who is that?” Khali asked when Santino quizzed him on whether he was the Raw GM. Khali then looked over the cell phone in a strange way to end the segment.
-Sin Cara came out for a World Title MITB qualifying match. It’s next.
-The MITB YouTube (and WWE.com, and Facebook…) pre-show will feature Kofi Kingston & R-Truth facing Hunico & Camacho, apparently in a non-title match.
(5) Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater – World Championship Money in the Bank Qualifying Match The bell rang as soon as they went to the arena for this one. Handspring elbow was supposed to be met by a neck-breaker from Slater, but Slater whiffed and Cara sold the bump anyway. Slater grounded Cara with a rear chin-lock. Cara did some flying to take Slater down and connected on a springboard cross-body. Cara used his finisher to beat Slater.
Winner: Cara, at 1:43. Quite the departure from the beat-down he took from ADR last week which everyone thought signaled he was in the doghouse.
Slater got the mic post-match and said this was not fair. He said he’s a future champion and can prove it. He asked for any former champion in the back. He didn’t care if it was John Cena, Kane, or Chris Jericho. Instead, Bob Backlund came out in his blue trunks. Still looks in pretty good shape. Big grin on his face coming to the ring. Cole discussed Backlund’s credentials before he got into the ring. So are we supposed to believe he was just walking around backstage with his trunks on when he heard Slater’s unprepared challenge?
Backlund did cardio before getting ready to face Slater. “You still got it” chants and he hadn’t really even done anything yet. Slater tried to get Backlund’s attention to ask him what he was doing. Backlund offered a handshake, so Slater kicked him and then punched him. Slater missed a wild punch and Backlund applied the cross-face chicken-wing. Ah, I love crazy Bob Backlund. Backlund then celebrated the imaginary win. “I love you!” shouted Backlund as he stood on the middle rop.
-Cole took the mic and showed the WWE.com poll results. It was 75% in favor of the match vs. 25% against. I’m actually surprised it wasn’t higher. “How dare you” said Cole, putting as much bass in his voice as possible. He complained that the fans were hypocrites. He continued ranting as they went to break.
-Josh Mathews and Booker T. were at the announce desk for the next match.
(6) Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler Cole went to ringside to start, but Booker threw him into the ring. Cole tried to shake Lawler’s hand, but Lawler picked Cole up and gave him an airplane spin. Both men were still in their announce clothes by the way. After putting Cole down, Lawler got the pin.
Winner: Lawler, at :57. Really? That’s it? After hyping it throughout the show?
Right after the match, the GM dinged in again. Mathews read the e-mail and said that due to the blatant interference by Booker, Cole wins. As Cole celebrated, Santino walked to the ring.
Winner: Cole, via reverse decision, at :57.
Marella said if the Raw anonymous GM is here tonight, there’s only one place they can possibly be: Under the ring. The GM e-mailed in and Mathews read, “no, I’m not. There’s absolutely no one under the ring sending e-mails. Leave the ring now, that’s an order.” Marella said it sounded like a clue and then went to ringside. He got pulled under the ring, but Lawler brought him out. Hornswoggle was also pulled out along with his laptop. A number of e-mails were then sent all at once for some reason. Lawler asked if Hornswoggle had caused all of this misery. Lawler threatened to give him a spanking. He kicked Lawler in the shin, bit Marella’s butt, and kicked Cole in the shin before leaving. This is all kinds of terrible. Mathews laughed at ringside as Booker said, “tell me I didn’t just see that.”
-The exterior of the Pepsi Center in Denver was shown.
-Zack Ryder will be the guest GM on Smackdown Friday night.
-Cole and Lawler were back at the announce table. Cole wanted to bury the hatchet, considering it was Hornswoggle causing all the problems between them. Lawler refused.
(7) Eve Torres & Daniel Bryan vs. AJ & CM Punk - Mixed Tag Match
Punk and Bryan started off the match, with Bryan kicking Punk in the chest in the corner. AJ tagged herself in and tackled Eve. Eve soon wrested control of the match away from AJ. AJ fought back with rights and kicks. Cole said he doesn't believe AJ is crazy, but that she has a plan in all this. Back heel kick by AJ for two at 2:50. Eve tried to make a tag but Bryan dropped off the apron (the "in" thing to do in booking these days I guess), allowing AJ to roll Eve up for the win.
Winners: AJ and Punk, at 3:17.
Bryan got the mic and said he proved AJ means more to him than any match. Bryan wanted the two of them to leave, now, to get married. He opened the ropes for AJ, who looked conflicted. Punk got a mic and said he's not going to lie to AJ He said Bryan is doing so because he thinks she can help him become champion. He said he doesn't care if what he's about to say costs him the championship, but....he's not going to marry her. AJ got tears in her eyes. Punk said if that's not what she wants to hear, then he apologizes, but at least he cares enough to tell her the truth. "CM Punk" chant. AJ slapped Punk and then walked over to Bryan and slapped him too. "Yes" chants from the crowd, then from AJ. She smiled and tossed her arms in the air as she chanted it all the way up the ramp. Both Superstars were left to watch AJ continue to celebrate atop the ramp.
(edited by geemoney on 10.7.12 0106) @gregmparks - live Tweeting of Raw and Impact, wrestling thoughts and other slices of life.
So I got a text about 45 minutes ago telling me that we had the Anonymous GM come back, which obviously meant they were going to finally tie up that loose plot thread, once and for all. Ok, I was curious. I gave it a look.
I'm sorry I did. The reveal...it just...no...it doesn't make sense...no matter how you look at it, it just doesn't make sense. It's one of those "Here's your Anonymous GM, now shut the fuck up!" reveals. I'd rather they just not have done anything at all.
Once again, the moral of the story is that bad things happen when the E books for schmucks like us. I'll bet they would have been perfectly happy to just let the whole anonymous GM thing go away and never speak of it again, but we just HAD to keep asking for resolution, didn't we? We just HAD to keep needling them to give us an anonymous GM, didn't we? How'd this one work out for us?
Sigh...goddammit, The E...
"This is DIET Double Dew, Kyle! It only has half the caffeine and sugar of Double Dew!"
Originally posted by It's FalseOnce again, the moral of the story is that bad things happen when the E books for schmucks like us. I'll bet they would have been perfectly happy to just let the whole anonymous GM thing go away and never speak of it again, but we just HAD to keep asking for resolution, didn't we? We just HAD to keep needling them to give us an anonymous GM, didn't we? How'd this one work out for us?
It was their gimmick of bringing back old GMs. Of course they were going to do the laptop.
Edge was really onto something with his campaign "against all things stupid". We should of listened. He was the Kyle Reese of stupid WWE wrestling Continuity future, with Santino playing John Connor to end the Raw GM's reign for good.
I preferred Johnny Ace's twitter reveal of being the only GM that year. Of course, that doesn't mean that he might not have just left behind his login codes to the Mysterious RAW GM communications systems, which Hornswoggle mischievously got a hold of.
But if Hornswoggle Finley really was the GM, do any of the clues not fit in with that reveal?
* Hornswoggle may still think Vince is his dad, so he might have been bitter at Bret over the Vince/Bret feud.
* Hornswoggle's love of imitating WWE Superstars may be why he used to use their catchphrases during GM messages.
* We all thought that Hornswoggle couldn't speak English, but perhaps his real problem was that he didn't feel comfortable doing public speaking. That may be why he had asked to hold the position in an anonymous capacity.
* Undertaker retired Hornswoggle's DX friend HBK, hence him sicking the Nexus on Taker as a form of revenge.
* Vince loves midgets, so him appointing one as GM is plausible.
* Jericho lies all of the time, so he didn't really need to know who the GM was. However, its reasonable for him to have suspected his archnemeses in DX's group, and thus come across the idea of Hornswoggle as GM through that channel. Also, back when he was training Wade Barrett, Jericho and Otunga could have seen Hornswoggle associating with Wade. That may be how Otunga guessed that there was a secret higher purpose behind the Nexus - serving Hornswoggle's takeover attempts.
I've generally liked this AJ angle since it's unpredictable, involves two of the best wrestlers in the world and it's made an unlikely featured player of AJ, who is fantastic with body language and in backstage segments. That said, holy crap, does AJ need to talk about 50 percent faster in live segments. You could've had The Ryback squash someone in between those pauses in her sentences.
"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
This was the kind of Raw that I found entertaining, in the manner of Steve Buscemi in 'Armageddon':
"Guess what guys, it's time to embrace the horror!"
Actually I'm still interested in the Punk/Bryan/AJ thing, even if it's trending toward wondering how they resolve it logically. No matter how stupid it gets in terms of wrestling booking, you have to admit that the live crowd is buying it. I can't judge whether it was brilliant work or just dumb luck that those three saved the opening promo when the first five minutes seemed to drag, and the crowd was in full "What?" mode.
Originally posted by It's FalseI would say I'd have rather had Mike Adamle back, but I have a feeling he's on the list for next week, so I'll just shut up now.
Adamle's been off his local sportscast for a couple of months here for 'personal reasons', I heard a rumor that it's depression. Better news, a local newspaper says he's due to return shortly.
Originally posted by JustinShapiroRock on Raw addressing the WWE champion will hopefully be teasing a match that isn't going to happen (i.e. Cena doesn't win the briefcase and the title within the first week).
Why isn't Rock showing up Sunday as a surprise entrant to the "Former WWE Champions Only" WWE Title MitB match? How better to deliver on his post-WM promise to go for the Championship again - instead of having to telegraph the Royal Rumble result? (Didn't his GI Joe movie release get pushed back to just before WM, making a bunch of Raw appearances in the WM run-up harder?)
We've seen numerous weddings and marriage proposals in the past but it took 998 episodes of RAW to get two marriage proposals in the first 15 minutes of the show.
Daniel Bryan's facial expressions ruled this show, especially during the slappy portions of the final segment. He also put his hand over his heart in a wistful, in love pose when AJ left the ring during the opening segment. Daniel, incapable of saying the word "love", still clearly cares for AJ the most.
"AJ! Come home!" She's like Snoopy.
I don't even want the WWE Title and I'd marry AJ.
“@ZackRyder: @CMPunk She played me bro” I got your back.
Digital copies of Pro Wrestling Illustrated's "PWI 500" issue are now available, which means other folks have laboriously typed it all in for me to steal and integrate into my 2008-2012 list from last year (The W).