TONIGHT: Will anyone else be added to the WWE Title MITB Match? Will DDP be the former superstar to come back and wrestle? What crazy thing will AJ do this week?
-Once again, they went right to a commercial, this time, in the middle of the WWE Open.
-Clips aired of the Big Show’s dominance, specifically, what happened last week.
-In the arena, the MITB briefcase was hanging above the ring.
-Teddy Long is the Raw GM tonight, and in tag team action, CM Punk teams with John Cena to face Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan.
-John Cena came out first. Cena said after what happened last week, he could be coming out all angry and vengeful, but instead, he thanked Show and Jericho. He noted Jericho pointed out he had never been in a MITB match before, and last week was his crash course in what that kind of match is like. Cena talked about all the kinds of things you have to be prepared for, and he said he would be prepared for everything. He repeated what he said last week about Big Show going home empty handed (and something about him being a sewage baby, whatever that is). Then he vowed to cash in the briefcase and become champion. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” meant Daniel Bryan was on his way to the ring.
Bryan first wanted to point out that he would defeat CM Punk at MITB and become champion. Crowd chanted “No!” Bryan said if Cena wins, he’ll be the first-ever to cash in and lose. Cena said he could think of one person who disagrees. “Actually John…” came Punk from backstage. He walked out and said he can think of a lot more people than one who disagree with Bryan. Punk did the “Yes!” routine for people who disagree with Bryan, including himself, Cena, Jerry Lawler and others in the crowd. Bryan complained about people stealing his catchphrase. Punk gave Bryan an original thought: His former girlfriend AJ will count Bryan’s shoulders to the mat. Punk said if Cena wins, it’ll come down to them again. Chris Jericho’s music interrupted and he walked to the ring.
Jericho called Punk a wannabe and said people steal his catchphrases all the time. “No offense, Mr. Best in the World,” he said to Punk. Punk then called Jericho Bon Jovi. Jericho talked about needing to come up with new catchphrases. Bryan interrupted with “Would you please shut the hell up” and “Raw is Jericho.” Oh, and “none of you in this ring will ever, eeeeeeever be the same again.” Jericho addressed Cena, saying since he invented the match, he’ll win it. Jericho dared anyone to tell him otherwise. Kane appeared ready to take him up on the offer.
Kane got into the ring and simply said “otherwise.” Clever. Then Big Show’s music hit and he walked out. As he came to the ring, Bryan attacked Cena from behind. Punk went after Bryan while Jericho fought Kane (though Jericho was looking at Punk and waiting for his cue to attack the entire time). Kane and Show went at it and Show clotheslined Kane down. Show was the one to walk away as everyone else sold injuries from the fight. At least it had a different ending then most segments that start as this one did.
-Michael Cole and Lawler plugged Charlie Sheen as the Raw 1,000 Social Media Ambassador.
(1) Prime Time Players & Cody Rhodes & David Otunga vs. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth & Christian & Santino Marella Old-school entrances with all four men on each team coming out together to one theme. Middle rope dropkick by Christian on D. Young. Young kicked out at two and Truth tagged in. Truth got jiggy and punched Young in the face. Tag to Kingston, who propelled himself into the ring and covered Young for two at 1:06. O’Neil pulled Young out of harm’s way. An eight-man stand-off took place out there as they went to break 1:50 in.
Back at 5:21 of the contest. Rhodes had control of Kingston on the mat. AW was mic’d up and it sounds like you could hear it throughout the arena, not just on the broadcast. Slam by O’Neil on Kofi. Hot tag made to…Santino? Yep, he took the beating to Otunga and the crowd was into it, so who am I to judge. Prime Time Players broke up a pin, leading to the usual tag chaos breaking out. AW took the PTP’ers to the back, abandoning Otunga and Rhodes. As Otunga went for a tag, Rhodes walked out as well. As he did, Brodus Clay’s music played and he came out. Otunga tried to escape the ring, but the others kept throwing him back in. Clay clumsily threw Otunga back in the ring, where Santino hit the Cobra for the win.
Winners: Kingston, Truth, Christian, and Santino, at 8:24. Strange finish, and it got stranger.
After the match, Christian gave the Killswitch to Otunga and Clay splashed him. Kids came into the ring to dance with the babyfaces.
-Teddy Long was backstage dancing to Clay’s music, until Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez walked in. Del Rio sucked up to Long and said it’s been three months since he got the one-on-one title shot that was promised him. He told Teddy to give him what he deserves. Long said he doesn’t deserve anything, but the Board told him to tell Del Rio that he’s the #1 contender, and he’ll face Sheamus at MITB for the World Title. But tonight, it’s Long’s decision: He’s got a match against Long’s surprise.
-Stephanie McMahon’s(!) Raw 1,000 moment was Shane training Vince for the 1999 Royal Rumble.
-Cole and Lawler talked about Raw going to three hours permanently on July 23.
-Alberto Del Rio was introduced by Ricardo Rodriguez. Sin Cara was his specially-selected opponent. Man, his music reminds me a little of the Headshrinkers, actually. As soon as Cara slipped into the ring, Del Rio went on the attack. He beat up Car and applied the cross arm-breaker to him on the outside of the ring until a number of refs broke it up.
-AJ was backstage taping her wrists a la CM Punk. Bryan walked up and tried to apologize to her, even going so far as to give her a rose. “Daniel, that’s so sweet,” she said. “Yeah, yeah it is,” Bryan responded. AJ said she’s sure it has nothing to do with her being the special ref for his match at MITB. AJ said Bryan never cared about her. She said she can’t wait to win her match tonight and then run into the arms of the man the WWE Universe considers her soulmate. She bit the flowers off the rose and spit them out, handing the stem back to Bryan.
-Paul Heyman was getting ready, live via satellite (and giving the guy working on his mic a death stare), to give Brock Lesnar’s answer next.
-Cole and Lawler talked about the live Smackdown Tuesday night, then sent it to a video of Hunter’s speech at No Way Out, and Heyman’s answer the next night.
-Heyman was standing by via satellite at WWE Studios. Heyman said Lesnar has made a decision regarding Triple H’s challenge. He said Lesnar will deliver the answer face-to-face with Triple H on the 1,000th episode of Raw. Heyman said he believes Hunter does want to face Lesnar at Summerslam, but not for the reasons everyone is thinking. He brought up the lawsuit he’s going to slap on Hunter for putting his hands on him. Heyman said Hunter facing Lesnar is Triple H’s exit strategy; it’s a way for Hunter to end his in-ring career, which Brock will do. Then Hunter will be able to go on to be the corporate executive, and everyone around him will be able to tell him that he was the last of his generation and went down in a blaze of glory. Heyman said it won’t be a match, but a mercy killing. Then he laughed to himself.
-Breaking news: In a no-DQ match, Big Show will face Kane.
-Also, a mixed tag match next: Sheamus & AJ vs. Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero.
(2) Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler vs. AJ & Sheamus During AJ’s entrance, they showed her being named guest referee on Smackdown. Sheamus had to hold AJ back from attacking Vickie before the bell. Ziggler worked over Sheamus to start, keeping the big man grounded. With Sheamus hung over the middle rope, Ziggler kicked him from the apron. Jumping DDT by Ziggler for two at 1:43. Ziggler ran right into a forearm, leading to Sheamus setting up for White Noise. He hit and readied for the Brogue Kick. Instead, Ziggler made a desperation tag to Vickie. “AJ” chant as Ziggler got Brogue Kicked off the apron anyway. Kick to the gut by AJ then a Shining Wizard (even called so by Cole).
Winners: AJ and Sheamus, at 3:27. Hey, Ziggler didn’t do the job! Small victories.
AJ took the mic from Justin Roberts and shouted “Yes!” all the way up the ramp. Get that man a new mic, stat! After a replay of the Brogue Kick, AJ was walking backstage. She passed a bunch of guys sitting and watching a monitor. She came upon Punk who was on the phone. AJ kept badgering Punk about who he was on the phone with. When he hung up, he said it was his sister. He said he didn’t see AJ’s match, which made her a big distraught. He didn’t even know she HAD a match! “You weren’t paying attention to me?” she asked, as she then backed away. CM Punk gave a bit of a Larry David reaction, hands in the air as if to say, “what did I do?”
-Heath Slater was in the ring. They aired clips of him losing to Vader, getting beat up by Cyndi Lauper, and losing to Sid. Slater disagreed with fans who thought those clips were funny. He reminded us that he’s the One Man Band. He said he’s not a clown, which brought out Doink and probably disappointed a whole lot of live fans.
(3) Heath Slater vs. Doink the Clown Cole immediately brought up Lawler’s history with Doink. Doink wrestled in tennis shoes for some reason. Slap to Slater after a side headlock. Kick took Doink down. Slater stomped on him and connected on a knee-lift. He then worked the crowd, allowing Doink to come back with a stomp to the foot. Neck-breaker off the ropes by Slater for the win.
Winner: Slater, at 1:20. Not exactly “Slater wins! Slater wins!” but it’s still a surprise.
After Slater won, Diamond Dallas Page came out (to his WWE music). Page looked to be in great shape, as expected. Page did the Bang and congratulated Slater. He even allowed Slater to do the hand signal. Then he shook Slater’s hand and gave him the Diamond Cutter. I wonder why he couldn’t work a match?
-The No Holds Barred trailer aired.
-Kane and Big Show were walking in a split-screen. They’re out next.
-A video aired on John Cena and Alicia Fox visiting the Walter Reed Medical Center two weeks ago.
(4) Kane vs. The Big Show – No Disqualification Match The two men brawled and Kane ended up on the apron. Show bowled him over, sending Kane to the floor. Cole said Show and Kane would both be involved in a 20-man Battle Royal on Smackdown live tomorrow night. Show went for a running boot but missed and got hung up on the barricade. Kane was whipped into the steel steps in a sequence that looked like it was in slow motion. The two continued brawling at ringside. Show got a steel chair and took it into the ring with him. Kane met him and fought back. Jumping DDT from Kane and a cover got two at 2:52. He climbed to the top rope but missed a clothesline. He grabbed a chair though, but Show speared the chair into Kane. Ugly. Chokeslam from Show on Kane for the win.
Winner: Show, at 3:45. Bowling-shoe ugly, as JR would say.
-Teddy Long was walking backstage. He ran into Eve Torres, who was making her return. She sucked up to Long and Teddy told her to save it. Long said he had something for Eve to wear so everyone knows who she is: He stuck a name-tag on her shoulder. He walked away and she ripped it up. Eve walked into AJ, who was sad. Eve said AJ has been “busy” lately and said she’s taking a page out of her book. Eve told her to go sit in a corner and cry. “You’ll do anything for attention, won’t you Eve?” said AJ. She said Johnny Ace is gone now, so who is she going to brown-nose next? AJ brought up Eve being in a reality show, saying she’ll do anything for attention. AJ said she’ll show Eve how to get attention. Eve just shook her head as AJ walked off.
-Alberto Del Rio’s Raw 1,000 moment was DX invading WCW. That seems like the least believable combination of person and moment ever, though ADR did say that’s around the time when they started getting Raw in Mexico.
(5) Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai Both men qualified for the World Title MITB match on Friday night. Tensai missed a corner charge and Kidd rolled him up for the win immediately.
Winner: Kidd, at :17. I guess just there to plug the World Title MITB match.
Tensai got pissed and gave Sakamoto another beat-down, including slapping him around and throwing him out of the ring.
-Jericho was backstage when Daniel Bryan walked up to him. Bryan told Jericho not to wear that stupid jacket tonight. Jericho complained about Bryan’s own jacket (“Maroon!?”) and even his beard. Jericho noted they needed to get on the same page. Bryan chanted “Yes!” much to Jericho’s chagrin, so Jericho repeated “never again” over and over.
-Elsewhere, Punk and Cena were chatting in the locker room. Punk told Cena to follow his lead. Cena seemed to humor him. The match is next.
-Josh Mathews tried to get a word with Tyson Kidd backstage. Kidd was ecstatic, but before he could say any more, Tensai attacked him from behind and laid him out. Good stuff there.
(6) Chris Jericho & Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk & John Cena Boy did Jericho give a comically over-the-top look when Cena’s music hit. Bryan and Punk started things off. Snap suplex by Punk for the first cover of the match at 1:03. Punk opened Bryan up for a shot, but instead, Cena took him and sent him head-first into the corner ring post. Just a small thing, maybe unintentional, but to say they might not be on the same page. Jericho and Cena faced off and Jericho did an awful lot of trash-talking. Like Show earlier, Cena bumped Jericho off the apron and to the floor. Break time at 2:36.
Back at 6:26. Cena began to fight out of the heel corner, but was clotheslined down by Jericho for two. Lionsault by Jericho missed and he sold the knee. Heels took control of Cena, but Cena tried to get control at the top of the hour. Instead, Jericho DDT’d Cena for a two-count. Jericho was shoved off on a bulldog attempt and both men were down. Punk finally made the tag and vaulted off the top rope onto Daniel Bryan, the fresh man for the other side. Powerslam by Punk for two. Anaconda Vice by Punk, but Jericho broke it up. Jericho and Cena fought outside the ring and up the ramp. Another Jericho vs. Cena feud thrills me about as much as Cena vs. Show did. Kick to the head by Bryan put Punk down for a two-count. Punk stopped Bryan as he went to the top rope. Superplex by Punk on Bryan. Float over into a cover, kick-out at 12:00. Just then AJ’s music hit and she ran out. She skipped around the ring, but neither man took notice of her. Instead, they kicked away at her. She got on the apron in the hopes of getting their attention, but that didn’t work either. Double cross-body in the middle of the ring. AJ began to search under the ring for something. She pulled out a table and set it up at ringside. AJ slowly climbed the ringside stairs and up to the top rope. Bryan stood in front of the table to implore her not to jump. Punk climbed up to talk her down, but she made out with him instead. Then she shoved him backward and into Bryan, spilling the both of them through the table. She began her “Yes!” chant on the turnbuckle.
Winner: No contest (no bell), around 17:04.
Both men were still down as AJ continued to chant with the show going off the air.
EDIT: By the way, that Raw three hours commercial that just aired after the show...hilarious. And I'm actually serious.
(edited by geemoney on 2.7.12 2309)
(edited by geemoney on 2.7.12 2310) @gregmparks - live Tweeting of Raw and Impact, wrestling thoughts and other slices of life.
Sin Cara was his specially-selected opponent. Man, his music reminds me a little of the Headshrinkers, actually. As soon as Cara slipped into the ring, Del Rio went on the attack. He beat up Car and applied the cross arm-breaker to him on the outside of the ring until a number of refs broke it up.
This struck me as a very bad sign for Mr. Cara.
I wonder why he couldn’t work a match?
Neck? Age? Got paid the same to not work a match and out smarted the system?
Alberto Del Rio’s Raw 1,000 moment was DX invading WCW. That seems like the least believable combination of person and moment ever, though ADR did say that’s around the time when they started getting Raw in Mexico.
Yea, but then why would he care about them invading a promotion he doesn't get? (This was so bad.)
"Hey, Page! Can you be in Laredo tonight?" "Well....maybe, but I ain't workin' a match." "Good enough."
Show looked to have dislocated his shoulder, or something equally nasty, during his match. At least it wasn't the WMD hand! But hopefully we don't suddenly see Show OUT of the MitB match and IN a massive sling.
For a while there, you almost thought somebody backstage knew how to lay out a tag team match - the crowd was built to a frenzy for the hot tag and popped big - and then, next thing you know, they pissed it all away by (a) having half of the combatants "brawl backstage" and (b) having the REMAINING half go through that.....er..."finish." I wonder how Referee John Cone feels when he just stands there for minute after excruciating minute not bothering to count or call for the bell or do ANYTHING.
Did I hear right that the winner of the Bash Battle Royal taking a turn as Smackdown GM next week?
Watching Dolph/Vickie vs. Sheamus/AJ really whetted my appetite for that super huge Cesaro/Aksana vs. Khali/Layla match tomorrow night! Creative GENIUS!
(I already tweeted most of this, I know.)
Why don't I feel BETTER as I'm thinking "boy, in three weeks...there'll still be an hour of RAW left after two hours?"
IT'S AN UNPRECEDENTED NIGHT OF TELEVISION - except for all those OTHER times RAW has been three hours, or when Nitro was three hours, or when Thunder was three hours...but other than all those times, RAW 1000 will be unprecedented!
"RAW 1000 has never been done before," says Cole! Well...until tonight, RAW 997 had never been done before. Of course, now that we've all seen the show...I can see why they wouldn't see that as such a big deal.
But hey! Live show tomorrow, so that means another session of live tweeting for the world!
I love crAyJ threatening personal injury via jumping through a table because her love interests won't pay attention to her while the crowd entices her to jump with a chorus of "Si". She even broke out a super low and fast SHINING WIZARD. I fucking love the shit outta AJ!
Doink was a nice setup for the real Slater mystery surprise of the week. Poor Slater, if he was a real DDP fan he would of known you NEVER shake that man's hand.
Hey, its the other guy, I meet at Philly. Good for DDP. I guess Raw is Jericho is Raw is AJ. Its at least interesting. Cena/Punk at SummerSlam does not interest me at all unless they make Rock the special guest referee or something. Jericho schooling Bryan on catchphrases was awesome and if we get Jericho/Bryan at SummerSlam, that is an instant buy.
(edited by lotjx on 3.7.12 0724) The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
I think we're more likely to see Cena/Bryan or a multi-man match at SummerSlam. I can't see them going straight Cena-Punk.
Much better Raw than recent weeks. Ditching Ace instead of trying to weasel out of that stipulation was absolutely the right move. Unless Sin Cara gets some kind of revenge on Del Rio I worry for his future, though. If that beatdown was a way of kicking off a feud then fair enough, but if it was just feeding Mistico to their chosen heatless heel project then yeesh.
With Cara, Rey, and Bourne marginalized, Kidd's sudden ascension makes sense. We need the flippies. But whither Kofi? His inclusion makes sense only if they were to pull the trigger on his main-event run. But I barely remember he's a tag champ, and I have a harder time remembering who his partner is (Truth. Oh, right.)
Punk/Bryan was going great, and even the initial AJ inclusion was great, and then that awkward table spot was ... yeah.
They said last week that Lesnar would answer Triple H's challenge. We get Heyman instead. That bait is switchy.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Cole saying that if you watched every episode of Raw, it would take 75 days. While I've missed a few of those years, it made me wonder how much of my life I've spent watching this product- Raw, Superstars, tapes, DVDs, PPVs, live shows -I'm not sure I want to know.
How many days have I spent watching The Simpsons?
How many days have I spent watching MLB and NFL?
It's strange to think about it in terms of cumulative time.
When you die you should be handed a pie chart with a breakdown of how you spent your life.
This Raw made me wish Kane had won the title last PPV so Punk and Bryan could be in the Money in the Bank match and Kane have a match with Big Show for the title. The interaction between Cena, Jericho, Bryan and Punk was gold. Although Kane walking down and just saying "Otherwise." was pretty good too.
I really hate these dream sequence ads, but I stuck around for this one because I saw that R-Truth was asking the questions, and oh my god. "I ain't getting on a BOAT with YOU, O-BAMA." Just about died. R-Truth is #1 and the best.