Originally posted by Amos CochranIf Jericho brings Punk's father out and puts him the Liontamer,
He should bring out Punk's dad ("Jack Brooks"? "Foster Brooks"?), ply him with booze and have Old Man Punk pull a Reverse John Bender and tell the WWE Universe a story about the Christmas he bought Punk a carton of cigarettes but Punk was too high-and-mighty to smoke them and wouldn't even heat up a turkey pot pie for his old man.
Originally posted by John OrquiolaUndertaker, when he was the Lord of Darkness and especially when he was the American Bad Ass/Big Evil Red Devil was a fantastic promo. His rambling, redneck-based stories where he took us under the Learning Tree was the basis of my old OUR so-called SPORT website's best column, The Learning Tree. But both Rock and Undertaker show that 10 minute promos in front of live crowds is a muscle that must be continually worked out.
I bet he could slip right back into "Stab you in the face!" mode without missing a beat. And I'd love to have him cutting insane interviews about being out in the desert with the Funkasaurus that end with "Good answer, Big Man, but I DON'T DANCE!"
I was serious when I said they need to throw him a bone and let him just do some mostly wordless intimidation next week. It just doesn't fit any of his characters to have to keep doing this "We're all great and this is important, you guys!" talking. He should be allowed to grab HBK by the goozle and say "You're gonna do the right thing, boy!" and punch HHH in the face every time he says "Y'know, Dead Maaaaan, the fact of the matter is..." Nobody ever really comes out looking great in the "important means it needs more time and goes slower" style.
Originally posted by John Orquiola Undertaker, when he was the Lord of Darkness and especially when he was the American Bad Ass/Big Evil Red Devil was a fantastic promo. His rambling, redneck-based stories where he took us under the Learning Tree was the basis of my old OUR so-called SPORT website's best column, The Learning Tree.
For the record, years ago I took a jpg of The Learning Tree, blew it up, and hung it above the shelf of all the training manuals I had made at my store. Whenever time came to review any procedures, I would announce that "it's time take a visit to The Learning Tree"
Good luck getting any royalties though! Blood from a stone, man.
Originally posted by lotjxI am interested to see if the Eve comment makes as much headlines as the notes on the wrist, but I doubt it.
I was wondering the same thing. Looks like not. I think the verse about Eve would've been the new "Sunny Days" if I didn't presume that Cena and his wife had a tacit understanding of an open relationship when he was on the road.
Originally posted by John OrquiolaI would pay cash money for a sudden, disgusting reveal that AJ's last name is secretly Bryan (or Danielson) and this has been a twisted Game of Thrones incest angle, which Hornswoggle suddenly discovers, and Daniel is forced to throw Hornswoggle out of the skybox.
The extra layer to this that you may or may not realize is that Hornswoggle and AJ were lovers on NXT.
I love that the BryaJ (their tabloid portmanteau) relationship has gotten more serious, progressing from "I appreciate her" to "she loves me and the feeling is mutual." Also the replay of Kane's SD attack on Orton reminded me of the amazing, brief, unmentioned moment when Daniel immediately abandoned her in the ring with Kane.
Originally posted by Matt TrackerSwagger worked the main event against Orton, and I'm glad, but he has not progressed at all since winning the world title.
Funnily enough it was just about two years ago when Swagger pinned Randy Orton clean to retain his world heavyweight championship.
Originally posted by SEADAWGBetter finish to John Cena vs. Mark Henry:
Rock and 2012 HOF inductee Ron Simmons run in to help Henry beat down Cena, then they raise the power fist.
Cena and Henry attack Rock and Ron Simmons joins them, forming the Cenation of Domination.
I can't decide.
oh my gosh
would scenario 2 lead to Cena recording a cover of the Nation rap with new lyrics? because...
Originally posted by Dr UnlikelyI bet he could slip right back into "Stab you in the face!" mode without missing a beat. And I'd love to have him cutting insane interviews about being out in the desert with the Funkasaurus that end with "Good answer, Big Man, but I DON'T DANCE!"
oh my gosh
do you think Brodus could survive out in Death Valley? according to Sister Naomi he was raised in captivity.
He should bring out Punk's dad
played by Bunkhouse Buck, obvs. would love to see Jimmy Golden as a chameleon playing multiple Wrestler Dads, like in a powdered wig with a bad aristocratic British accent as Regal's father.
Originally posted by AlbySureIt's far from the first time and this surely has been pointed out by many, but it's always funny when HBK walks off after a super-serious and intense segment and then you hear him from 20 years ago singing "I think I'm cute! I know I'm sexy!"
Yeah, it's totally weird. Even the Divas don't have "cute" in their theme song. Maybe he should have an instrumental version.
I wonder if Rock did really ask Cena to help him write the songs. It's amazing how a couple tweaks to his outfits can make Cena seem like a whole different character. Not grinning helps also. More Thuganomics please.
With Punk's straight edge thing, don't they have to do a "heel spikes his drink/drugs him" angle? Pissed off Punk is better than cocky, complacent Punk.
Originally posted by John Orquiola Cut Undertaker a fucking break. He's cut exactly two promos in over a year and he's got to do it in his character least suited to talk and talk, the Deadman character. I bet Undertaker's promos will be back to form on April 21st.
It isn't like anyone's comparing him to Sting or any other TNA part-timer that soaks up money to sit at home most of the time, and if he was ever any good on the mike he wouldn't have needed Paul Bearer to begin with. I critique whoever has set up this situation to NOT play to the man's strengths, chiefly having a really cool entrance and putting on some of the best matches I've ever seen.
Hell, instead of promos, why not just have Taker assault HHH to provoke him? Why not kidnap Stephanie again? Why not have HHH assault Taker, rip off the hood and call him a shell of his former self? I really feel as if the whole angle was either you do absolutely nothing and let the match happen as a rematch, keying off of HHH's words after last year's Mania when he said "if he comes back, I'll be waiting", or you do a lot, which requires a lot more time to build than two months, especially since it's now supposed to be the culmination of a 4 year long story. It really seems like the whole angle is playing off of Micheals's strengths as a performer more than anything, and he's the retired guy.
(edited by Lexus on 13.3.12 1508) "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Frown and the world laughs at you." -Me.
Originally posted by Dr UnlikelyHe should bring out Punk's dad
played by Bunkhouse Buck, obvs.
Yes. Punkhouse Buck.
I like the idea of using him as the Utility Dad for anyone on the roster with daddy issues. Especially in this case, since Bunkhouse Buck kinda did look like what you'd expect a drunken, abusive Punkhouse Buck/Buckhouse Punk to look.
I wish the Jericho drunk dad segment had taken place last week in in Boston instead now, so we could have gotten a segment where Cena's Dad felt bad for Punk and offered to go have a catch with him outside the arena like he and Cena used to do. And then we'd get a few weeks of Cena Sr. teaching an emotionally vulnerable Punk how to ride a bike and all that set to Cat's In The Cradle.*
Originally posted by JustinShapiroI love that the BryaJ (their tabloid portmanteau) relationship has gotten more serious, progressing from "I appreciate her" to "she loves me and the feeling is mutual."
Is that really progression, though? When I think about that line, the thing I take away from it is "she loves me, and I love me too". I'm sure she thinks he's saying he loves her, but I'm sure he chose those words very carefully!
Originally posted by Dr UnlikelyI like the idea of using him as the Utility Dad for anyone on the roster with daddy issues.
It is such a great idea. I love the idea of him crying on TV, telling Mark Henry that "son, I did the best I could, you need to forgive me and stop trying to eat the pain away."
But really, if there's one thing WWE does well, it's hilarity involving wrestlers' fathers. Between Al Wilson, Chavo Classic, Buck Swagger, and John Cenia, they've done some fine work. And what about the time Randy Orton's dad tried to give Undertaker the hepatitis? "Johnny, I didn't think he could catch it, I thought he was already dead!" GOLD.
Originally posted by KJames199But really, if there's one thing WWE does well, it's hilarity involving wrestlers' fathers. Between Al Wilson, Chavo Classic, Buck Swagger, and John Cenia, they've done some fine work. And what about the time Randy Orton's dad tried to give Undertaker the hepatitis? "Johnny, I didn't think he could catch it, I thought he was already dead!" GOLD.
Shelton. Benjamin's. Mom.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
I'm worried about Heath, he's losing words in his nickname. Started off as One Man Rock Band. Genre-ified to One Man Southern Rock Band. Now down all the way to One Man Band. Next week Heath Slater aka One Man Band's opponent with be the One Man Gang