With geemoney out for the week at the live show, I'll step up to the plate for Raw.
TONIGHT! The build for Wrestlemania continues. The Rock will respond to John Cena's response from last week! Plus, more buildup towards Triple H's next attempt to stop The Undertaker's streak. SmackDown Raw is NOW!
WWE - The Champ Is Here
No opening credits, as we go straight to the ring. Triple H's music hits to bring out The Game. He gets a decent pop, but nothing monumental like last week. Your hosts are Josh Matthews and Jerry Lawler, so I'm thankfully spared Michael Cole on commentary, for once. The match is official, by the way, as Undertaker will put The Streak up against Triple H. Once H is done posing, he grabs the mic. Promo time...after a pause for a "Triple H" chant!
"It's good to see you, too. You know, they say that the true test of a man's mettle is the test of time. I've done everything that there is to do here in the WWE. Every accolade, every championship, defined the Elimination Chamber, defined Hell in the Cell, 13 times...13 times WWE Champion. With Shawn Michaels, I started Degeneration X. With Ric Flair, Evolution. I've been hated, I've been loved. I've defeated icons, legends, immortals, I've done it all. 16 years...seems like yesterday, but 16 years I've seen them all come and I've seen them all go. For 16 years, I've outlasted everybody...except for one. The Dead Man! The Phenom! The Undertaker! I've just heard him referred to as "The Last Outlaw". Not yet. There are two. You see, you and I are very much the same, Dead Man, actually probably a lot more than you know. And when you...you look around in that locker room in the back, Dead Man, I know you see the same thing I do. There are no challenges left, really. There is no big test in front of you. You and I are in the same position. There's only one thing that stands before you. For you, it's The Streak and you live, year-to-year, 16-0, 17-0, 18-0, it's what keeps you going, that challenge. But the fact is, when you look around that locker room, I'm the only true challenge you've got left, Dead Man. And the truth is, when I look around that locker room, the only challenge I have left is ending The Streak. It's the only thing we have left standing in front of us. And it will happen...it will happen...at Wrestlemania XXVII. The biggest event in history! Dead Man...you and I will define an era. The iconic, the immortal, the legendary, the last two will meet...and on that night, Dead Man, NOTHING else will matter. There can be only one. Dead Man, at Wrestlemania, you have only one thing left and it's The Streak, and when it dies, YOU die! And at Wrestlemania, *I* have only one thing left. And it's The Streak. And if I can't end it, then I'll die trying!"
Very nicely done. Good promo to hard sell the big match at Wrestlemania. Oh, but there's one piece of business left. Here's King Sheamus, who comes out to his music. Looks like they ARE addressing this! But Triple H simply kicks Sheamus in the gut and dumps him. Sheamus is tossed into the barricade, as H goes to the mounted punches. Sheamus gets chucked into the steel post. Clothesline over the barricade to the timekeeper's area. H clears off the announcer's table, so you can see where this is going. Pedigree through the announcer's table! Well, so much for Sheamus. No need to blow off THAT feud, anymore! Play H's music! Anyone else think Kane's getting this same treatment from Undertaker on SmackDown this Friday?
Later tonight, Shawn Michaels speaks out on the HHH/UT match! Oh, my! Plus, Michael Cole will answer Jerry Lawler's challenge. And The Rock responds to John Cena...via satellite. Check out this Photoshopped picture of Rock stomping a Cena hat! "The Millions" Like this Photoshopped picture!
Moments ago, Triple H wipes out Sheamus. Don't lie. You didn't want to see that match again, anyway. Meanwhile, the referee brigade help Sheamus out, but here's the GM Macbook. Jerry Lawler decides to take the GM duties this week. The GM tells Sheamus he's still having his scheduled match tonight...right now...against...holy crap!
KING SHEAMUS v. EVAN BOURNE Well, here's a pleasant surprise. Just in time for a MitB match at Wrestlemania!
Bourne dropkicks Sheamus and stomps a mudhole in him. Sheamus chucks him off, but misses a clothesline. Bourne takes him out with a jump kick and hits Air Bourne. And that'll spell the end for Sheamus...in more ways than one.
WINNER: Evan Bourne - Sheamus pissed in the wrong guy's cornflakes, I take it. This was about as much of a total, complete burial as I can remember.
Post-match, Justin Roberts introduces "The Voice of the WWE" Michael Cole. Cole comes out with his perfect heel mannerisms and a shit-eating grin. Cole's GREAT in this role! As long as he stays off commentary, of course. Cole confronts Lawler, as we go to our next...
Ad break - SmackDown promo. Undertaker returns and we get a contract signing for Edge/Alberto Del Rio, which will undoubtedly end peacefully and without incident.
The WWE Rewind is brought to you by Twix! Here's the Cole/Lawler promo from last Monday.
Here's Cole! "May I have your attention, please! Lawler! Lawler! I want to do this man-to-man! I want to do this face-to-face! I want to do this eye-to-eye! So I suggest that you get off your FAT, antiquated BUTT and get in the ring right now!" Lawler takes the headset off, as I marvel at how quickly they got a whole new announce table! Lawler gets in the ring and Cole continues on.
Cole: I want to remind you! I want to remind you that you cannot strike me or you will be fired! Because over the weekend, I had the opportunity to re-read the decree that was handed down by the General Manager. Now, it implies that if you and I touch one another, we'll both be fired. However, in actuality, well...it states that if YOU...strike ME...YOU'RE fired! Come on, Lawler! You think that I was intimidated last week? Is that what you think? Did you think I was gonna...cower down from your Wrestlemania challenge? Lawler, there is no one, and I mean no one, on this Earth that has more guts than me! I never, ever back down from a fight. So my answer to your little...Wrestlemania challenge...is no. Unless...you accept two conditions. Jerry Lawler, I will face you at Wrestlemania if...one, my trainer can be in my corner at Wrestlemania...and two, I get to choose a special guest referee for the match. What do you say?
Lawler: I'll tell you what I say, Cole sore. I don't care if you got The Dark Knight, King Kong, Saba Simba, and Superman with you. The answer is yes, you're on!
Cole: We have our match? We have our match? We've got our match for Wrestlemania! Yes! Me and King at Wrestlemania! Michael Cole versus Jerry "The King" Lawler! So now, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen...I would like to introduce the man who will train me to defeat Jerry Lawler. He is a former world champion. He is "The All-American American" Jack Swagger!
Well, that's unexpected. Jack Swagger comes down, as he and Cole pump each other up. Here's a man hug! Swagger gets in Lawler's face, as Cole shoves him. Crowd chants "Jerry", as Cole slaps him! Swagger takes Lawler down and applies the anklelock, as Cole talks trash. Cole and Swagger pose over Lawler, as we can only wonder who the special ref is going to be. I'm putting money on Vickie Guerrero.
Earlier today, The Rock posted a response to John Cena on Facebook. Elsewhere, Randy Orton walks to the ring. He's up next!
Next week on Raw, the Attitude Nostalgia Tour continues, as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin will be on the show.
AW SHIT! Michael Cole's on commentary now. He shows the replay of what just happened. Randy Orton comes to the ring for his match, but first, it's promo time!
"You know, Punk, last week you were right about something. Two and a half years ago, when I punted you in the skull, I made the biggest mistake of my career. The mistake that I made, was that I should have kicked you harder. Punk, you talk about faith, like it can protect you, well, trust me, it won't. It won't protect you when I kick you so hard in the head that I make your neck snap, that I crush your spine and make your permanent residence a rehabilitation facility, where your one and only goal in life is to someday walk again. You will sip each and every one of your meals from a straw. Life, as you know it, will be a permanent haze that you cannot control, and the only thing, Punk, the only thing that you will have left will be the faith...that failed you."
Rebuttal comes from CM Punk, who comes out with the Nexus. "You ARROGANT, but predictable hypocrite. You think I told you not to show up because I didn't want you to show up. And now your ego has landed you here. And while you are going to attempt to put me in a rehab, I'm going to put you in the ground."
Nexus huddles up, as they all advance to the ring, but the GM Macbook goes off again. Cole lets Matthews take the announcement. The GM books Orton/Punk for Wrestlemania, but Orton will compete against Nexus members. If the Nexus member wins, he can be in Punk's corner. If Orton wins, that member is banned. If there's any interference, the Nexus is disbanded. First up to the plate...
"THE VIPER" RANDY ORTON v. MICHAEL McGILLICUDDY We start with a lockup, as McGillicuddy backs Orton into the corner. Orton works him over. Clothesline and stomp put McGillicuddy down. Orton misses a kneedrop, but he's able to clothesline McGillicuddy over the top to take us to our next ad break.
We come back with Orton in control until he runs into a McGillicuddy dropkick. McGillicuddy stomps away in the corner and hammers away. Orton tries to come back, but that flurry is cutoff with a snapmare and stomp. Second-rope Perfect snapmare gets 2. Time to hit the chinlock. Back suplex puts an end to that. McGillicuddy runs into a boot. Orton hits clotheslines and his powerslam. Orton backbreaker and hanging DDT hit. VIPER COIL! RKO, goodbye!
WINNER: Randy Orton - Nearly all Orton. The Genesis of McGillicuddy does NOT begin tonight.
Post-match, CM Punk looks on from the top of the ramp. After a round of posing, Orton sets up for the punt! Punk takes the mic and tries to stop him! Punk DEMANDS he not punt him! So Orton punts McGillicuddy to a huge pop! The rest of the Nexus run down, as Orton escapes through the crowd! And suddenly, Nexus is down to three members. The NNNNN is down to NNN.
Here's footage from last Friday's Sin Cara press conference. They acknowledge his past as Mistico, surprisingly! Sin Cara is coming soon!
The Miz and Alex Riley are on their way to the ring. They're up next!
WWE Slam of the Week is brough to you by Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Here's last week's Raw main event.
Justin Roberts introduces The Miz. Cole gives him a standing introduction, as you can see Matthews rolling his eyes. Miz takes the mic and it's promo time!
"So The Rock is going to respond to John Cena tonight. That's funny. Because I called out The Rock last week, as well, and he's not responding to me. And we all know why. Because he knows I'm right. This is no longer The Rock's show. Sure, at one point, The Rock was the biggest star in the WWE and then John Cena was the biggest star in the WWE, but let's face the facts. John Cena's days are numbered and The Rock's are over. And they have been for some time. What everyone needs to realize...is that *I* am the biggest star in the WWE. *I* am the reason you people are here tonight. *I* am the one that talk shows want. *I* am the face of this company. And best of all, I am the most must-see WWE Champion in the history of this company. Do you see a trend? It's all about me. It always has been about me. And it always will be about me. Speaking of me, everyone's been asking me about becoming tag team champions with John Cena. Let the record books show...*I* won the WWE Tag Team Championships and John Cena LOST them! Which is exactly what I wanted to happen. Because this is MY show. I'M in the driver's seat. *I* control what happens here. So when John Cena...so when John Cena is worrying about The Rock and doing his raps, he should be worried about one person and one person only, ME, the WWE Champion! But if The Rock and Cena want to go back-and-forth and back-and-forth, so be it! I will BEAT John Cena at Wrestlemania and on that very same night, I will BEAT The Rock! Did you hear me correctly? *I* will beat John Cena at Wrestlemania and on that very same night, I will beat The Rock! And then no one will ever mention them again! Because the only person that anyone will be talking about is me as the greatest superstar of all-time!"
Riley takes his own mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, get on your feet and show some respect to the man, who in 34 days, will main event WRESTLEMANIA!"
Interruption comes from John Cena, who stops to soak up the crowd response, before coming to the ring. "I have very, very, very, very important news! I know, I know, I know, just like all of you, I am upset, because I can't listen to another word that you SAY! You people shouldn't have to put up with it and, quite frankly, you don't even belong talking. Because ladies and gentlemen, The Miz...well, he's not well. I have in my possession a doctor's note, as you can see, that diagnoses The Miz with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It's something, it's something that we can all see. He's obsessed with everything. He's obsessed with being awesome. But if you reference this medical report, you'll find that he's just average. Strike that, he's below average. He is obsessed with being must-see! Once again, if you reference the medical report, you'll realize you need a microscope to see it. And it doesn't stop there. The obsession carries into his home life. He has over 200 cats...he has 1,000 pairs of blue Dockers, he's obsessed with blue khaki. He saves his dog's poop bags and, according to this, he pees in milk jugs. That's only the half of it and I can't believe the obsessive behavior has rubbed off on you, because according to this legitimate doctor's note, when you have free time, you lock yourself in a closet and eat toilet paper.
Riley: Hahaha! You're too funny! You're too funny! But I just realized something. I just realized exactly why a long time, someone decided to nickname toilet bowls "Johns". Because everything you say, Cena, is full of crap.
Wow, even Cole's all over that lame comeback. This entire promo's just turning into a trainwreck, right down to Cena's "doctor's note" done in crayon.
Cena: Did you ever wonder why maybe nobody's ever taken you seriously as the WWE Champ? That was awful. I mean, this is actually a pretty sad story. Look at him. He's looking at us right now. Sucking in air like a dying fish. I'll tell you, Miz, you know what? You want to be a champion? You want to leave a legacy? You need to start doing it by yourself. I mean, come on! With all these accomplishments, do you really want to look back years from now and realize you shared your legacy with another man? Don't...actually, don't answer that. Don't answer that. Um...I'll tell you what, you want to be must-see, you want to be talked about. Well, let's do something shocking tonight, let's take social media and shake it to its very foundation. Tonight, in front of the world, fire Alex Riley, right here, send him walking, so Wrestlemania can be The Miz versus John Cena!
Miz: What's the matter, Cena? You scared of A-Ri? Or are you trying to play mind games on me? You see, unlike you see, Cena, I'm mentoring the next generation of superstars. I'm secure with myself and my position in the WWE. And generously sharing my brilliance with Alex, instead of spending my time hocking merchandise or trying to decide what kind of chorts to wear.
Cena: Well-played, ok, then maybe your shocking announcement can be this. Now The Miz and Alex Riley are CO-champions and to celebrate, they're going to move in together. They're going to buy one of those tandem bikes and ride it to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy some duvets. And every evening they're going to relax with a glass of pinot noir and watch "The Notebook"...or reruns of last season's "Bachelor". I'll tell you what. You know what? You're working on being a mentor to him, you're trying to train him how to be a loser, well tonight I'm going to train you on how to be a man. I want him gone and I'm going to help you make the decision. I want a match with Alex Riley. Ok, if I win, Alex Riley no longer works for The Miz. Yeah, you heard me correct, World's Worst Toilet Joke, if you lose, you are fired! What's it gonna be? Yes or no? What's it gonna be? You putting his career on the line?
Miz: I accept...
Cena: Well alright then! That's shocking that's...
Miz: On one condition!
Miz: I give you my word that I will not interfere, but if Alex Riley wins, I want you to publically admit that I am the greatest superstar of all-time, because I'm the Miz...and I'm AWESOMMMMME!
Cena: Have you been in outer space? I've been fired. I've been somebody's slave. I've had water thrown at me. I've been called Barney's turd, a Fruity Pebble, and everything else and all you want, if I lose this, is for me to call you awesome? I don't know...I'll do it! You got yourself a match!
The GM Macbook beeps again. The GM books the Cena/Riley match inside a steel cage. The only way to win is by escape. And that's a decent way to end a terrible segment.
Eve Torres joins the commentary team for the next match.
DIVAS BATTLE ROYALE Eliminations come quick, as this feels awfully rushed. It comes down to the Bellas and Gail Kim. The Bellas win after the illegal switch.
WINNER: Brie Bella...or is it Nikki? - And...yeah.
Post-match, the Bellas lay out Eve. Moving right along...
We are live from Buffalo, NY! The Rock is up next!
Here's footage of John Cena's rap last week. And now here's The Rock, live via satellite, for rebuttal. He even gets his music played, which is a little much. "Yo! Yo! Yo! Check it! You can't see me! You can't see me! I'm 'bout to spit something stupid, YEAH! Can't see me! The Rock is rappin'. He's totally gone soft, so now he needs, to TAKE THIS CRAP OFF!" And I don't dare try and keep up with the awesomeness of The Rock and hope to finish this write-up by 8:05. Basically, Rock tears Cena's rap to shreds and completely tears the IDEA of it to shreds! He tells the world that this all started when Cena publically called The Rock a liar when he said that he loved WWE. Rock took it as an insult to himself and his family. Rock affirms his love of the WWE...USING PERSONAL PRONOUNS, so you know he's serious! Rock says that just because he wanted to achieve more, it doesn't take away from his love for WWE. He says that success in Hollywood would open the door for the WWE locker room to make it. Rock vows bad things for John Cena and an eventual face-to-face showdown. "The Rock is BACK to scratch a major itch! So enjoy your Fruity Pebbles, you Yabba Dabba BITCH!" IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE CATCHPHRASE IS COOKIN'!
You know, if The Rock really wants to win this war of words, all he has to do is show a 5-minute clip of "Legendary".
Later tonight, Cena faces Alex Riley in a steel cage. But next, Shawn Michaels talks about Undertaker/Triple H!
Shawn Michaels speaks in a pre-taped video package. He hopes Undertaker gets his, but he hates that he wasn't able to do it himself. Facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania means to face a legacy. To face Triple H is to face someone vicious. We cut to the live crowd watching this video package, for some reason. HBK says that if there's one man that can beat Undertaker, it's Triple H.
Daniel Bryan comes to the ring for his match, but gets ambushed by The Miz! He chucks Bryan around and nails him with a big boot. Here's some choking! And a kick to the face! Skull-Crushing Finale on the outside! Miz wanders over to the announce table, as we get replays. Miz takes the mic.
"Just so you all know, I did that because I CAN! Welcome to The Miz Show! I'm done waiting! Lower the cage and start the match!"
The cage gets lowered. The main event is next!
ALEX RILEY v. JOHN CENA: STEEL CAGE MATCH The Miz tweets during Cena's entrance! HA!
Cena works over Riley to start. Here's a corner chop. Vertical suplex hits. Gutwrench suplex hits. Cena tries to escape, so Miz shuts the door. Riley recovers and Miz slams the door in Cena's face. Riley chucks Cena around, as Miz asks for Cena so he can take a cell phone pic! HA! Cena takes control, as Miz and Cole admire Miz's handy work. Miz slips in his phone to Riley. Riley NAILS CENA WITH THE PHONE! That has to be...uh...mildly inconvenient! Riley tries to escape, but Cena pulls him back in. Miz runs over and we have a tug-o-war! Cena wins that war and applies the STF! Riley taps, but that's no good, because this is escape rules! Cena climbs...on Miz's side, like an idiot! Miz grabs a chair and threatens Cena with it. Cena thinks better of it and jumps back down and climbs the other side, but Miz meets him there, too. Riley recovers and hits an electric chair drop! That'll take us to our last ad break of the night!
We come back with Riley hitting a big dropkick. Riley hits a right hand, but misses another dropkick. Cena goes to work with the usual. Shoulderblock, Doctor (of Thuganomics) Bomb, Five-Knuckle Shuffle! Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Riley grabs the cage and starts climbing! We have a fight on the cage that RILEY WINS! Riley climbs over, but he's doing the slow climbs, so Cena's able to catch up. We have a fight on the top of the cage! The fight goes to the ropes and Cena wins that with a top-rope bulldog! Attitude Adjustment hits! Cena stops to grab Miz's phone and takes a pic of Riley before moving over to escape. Miz holds the door shut! Cena powers out and forces himself out!
WINNER: John Cena - Very good cage match! Riley wasn't too bad.
Post-match, Miz IMMEDIATELY nails the Skull-Crushing Finale! Miz poses triumphant, but the Alex Riley Era is over! Miz poses at the top of the ramp to end the show.
Well, the big money moment next week would be if we got Austin and The Rock in the same ring for the big Attitude reunion. I hope someone's got the same idea.
A lot of focused angle advancement for this show, which makes sense considering you have a lot of time before the big show, so you don't need to overdo it by having too many angles on one show. No need to muck things up with the Santino's of the world. But man, I can't get over that Sheamus burial. That was just brutal.
Good to have Evan Bourne back. Raw desperately needs someone for those lawn dart spots, you know.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to dip my face in a molten vat of hot chocolate for transcribing that god-awful Cena promo and not that awesome Rock promo.
I see they kicked off a new feud for Wrestlemania: the WWE vs. the fans of Buffalo.
Two squash matches and a two minute Diva battle royal in the first hour and half really laid the groundwork for this fantastic storyline. The part where the announcers were bragging about the 16,000 fans SELLING OUT the arena was nice subtle touch.
I've never felt so bad for a live crowd - which made their face turn so great. That part when they sat on their hands for the Rock and HBK pretapes was quite the shocking swerve. The WWE clearly got the last laugh though, when they hyped Austin LIVE the next week and then teased an actual match with Bryan.
THE EVAN BOURNE RAW LOSING STREAK IS OVER EVAN BOURNE'S NINE MONTH ODYSSEY HAS CULMINATED BY WINNING A MATCH ON RAW SO MANY TIMES HE'S BEEN SO CLOSE, WEEK AFTER WEEK, MATCH AFTER MATCH, LOSS AFTER LOSS. BUT HE NEVER GAVE UP. HE NEVER GAVE UP! BOURNE HAS DONE IT. BOURNE IS LIVING HIS DREAM. FINALLY. FINALLY! MY GOD FINALLY! EVAN BOURNE HAS WON A MATCH ON RAW!
Rock's promo tonight was in some way's even better than the first one. It didn't have anything close to the level of crowd response since not being in the building hurts the way he performs, but he brought a level of seriousness and, of all things, actual anger at the other guy that just doesn't exist in WWE. Cena needs to match it next week because that shit from the Miz segment tonight isn't going to cut it. The Rock/Cena issue is something resonating in a real way beyond the regular scope of WWE and Cena needs to make it a two-way street as far as giving off the vibe of real (fake) heat. Maybe the idea is that Rock does a Rock promo, Cena does a Cena promo, Rock gets serious, then Cena gets serious.
McGillicutty and Riley both destroyed. Kaval's revenge.
Michael Cole was pretty phenomenal tonight. It'd be cool if he and Swagger were paired up as an act after Wrestlemania with Cole as the male Vickie Guerrero.
Haha, will there be anything left of Sheamus and Daniel Bryan by the time they have their match? They addressed HHH/Sheamus so I can't complain about that, plus he owed Bourne one after the many times he beat him. Still feel bad for the dude.
I thought the same thing about Undertaker having a mirror segment with Kane on Friday. but I don't know how much they want UT to physically do before Mania when he's already gimpy. Maybe he can just shoot him with a lightning bolt.
Originally posted by odessastepsIt seemed like they were injuring people to maybe get them off the WM card. Sheamus. Danielson. Maybe now Riley.
Danielson is just part of the new dictum that Miz beats someone up every week to be tough now. At least Corre vs. Nexus is off. Very much looking forward to the death of Otunga, it's been a long time coming.
When they lose (they're losing, sorry Justin) and doing the switch is now passe, do they invoke the Killer Bee rule and outlaw it somehow?
Or do they follow Doink precedent and declare there can only be one Bella?!?!? (but also a new mini Bella?)
That Miz/Cena segment went on forever. I mean, I was fast forwarding thru it - because I'm kind of done with Miz promos for the time being because everything true thing people say about Alberto del Rio doing the same promo every week is 10x as true for Miz lately - but even fast forwarding thru it, it was as unhealthy long as this sentence. When Daniel Bryan got punked out later, my instinct wasn't that he was being buried or written out, but that were running very long and needed to cut a match.
And that they want Miz to beat up someone to look strong. He did not look much like a threat later when Cena was able to push the door open, but he did lay out Cena well and good after.
1) The Rock's promo was obviously pre-taped. They could have rewarded the fans of Buffalo with a real Rock appearance.
2) They announced the steel cage match was climbing over the cage only. Then they changed it to a typical steel cage match. Like I have said in the past, you have to eliminate any sense of reality for a steel cage match.
3) Orton's kick to the skull missed by 9 inches.
4) Don't understand Jack Swagger's spot at Wrestlemania, is he giving (blank) jobs backstage?
5) That shooting star press from Bourne was just sick, the height of it was just unreal. Literally 12 feet off the ground.
6) They need looser fitting shorts for Sheamus next time.
7) Seems like every groups CM Punk forms ends up getting destroyed.
8) And Michael Cole was GREAT on his promo tonight. I think they need to take the risky move and get him off announcing and into a GM role full time.
Originally posted by It's FalseBut Triple H simply kicks Sheamus in the gut and dumps him.
I'm pretty sure that HHH kicked Sheamus somewhere a bit lower than the guts. I believe Gorilla Monsoon had a term for that particular region of the body but it's escaping me at the moment.
Originally posted by shawnpatrickThey announced the steel cage match was climbing over the cage only. Then they changed it to a typical steel cage match. Like I have said in the past, you have to eliminate any sense of reality for a steel cage match.
They never said that the cage match was climbing over the cage only. They said it was escape only. Meaning you couldn't win by pinfall or submission.
Orton's kick to the skull missed by 9 inches.
Definitely Orton's worst punt ever but I'm going to blame it on McGillicutty, who also was halfway over the top rope before Orton was able to connect with a clothesline.
Don't understand Jack Swagger's spot at Wrestlemania, is he giving (blank) jobs backstage?
Pat Patterson no longer works backstage. What's not to understand? Cole obviously isn't going to agree to a straight up one-on-one match against Lawler.
The way Gail Kim pulled Maryse's shorts to eliminate her, I'm thinking the people in the front corners by the ramp might have gotten a very interesting view. I'll have to check for cellphone pics later.
The Rock two weeks ago. The Undertaker and HHH last week. Shawn Michaels this week. Stone Cold last week. Who's left to trot out for the final three weeks before Wrestlemania? The only WWE champions of the last 15 years who haven't appeared on WWE TV in the last year and aren't in TNA are Sid, who's unlikely to be making an appearance any time soon after his recent arrest, and Brock, who may or may not be even less likely than Sid to appear. (And Eddie, of course.)
Cena has spent the last hour retweeting 'Cena rules, Rock drools' messages from his Twitter followers. Geez.
"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
Originally posted by thecubsfanThat Miz/Cena segment went on forever. I mean, I was fast forwarding thru it - because I'm kind of done with Miz promos for the time being because everything true thing people say about Alberto del Rio doing the same promo every week is 10x as true for Miz lately -
It is true for both of them, but if you go back and watch a Stone Cold promo from the Attitude era, he basically did the same crap every week too. Hell, damn, ass, bottom line. Blah blah. Switch up names. That being said, you didn't miss anything. The segment tonight just died on the vine, mostly because Miz got this push a year early and is mediocre at best in the ring. Also, Cena's jokes were bad. They (Cena/Miz) don't have to carry 'Mania thankfully, but wow, the heat tonight made me think they couldn't carry a Night of Champions.
Rock. Rock, Rock, Rock. That was...weird, I think. He came off like an aloof heel. "You rapped...at ME!?!" But like any good heel, before WWE ruined what heels are supposed to be, he's a heel who feels justified. Will reactions make him de facto babyface? Maybe. But keep up with the taped promos and fans may turn on Rock again as in '03. End of the day, though, no one gives a shit about the Miz in this equation and after Rock effing unleashed on Cena tonight, there is no way around the fact that anything short of a Rock/Cena match is going to be unsatisfying. Even Tyson/Austin was really only hinted at before they shifted focus with expert sleight of hand. They didn't have Tyson and Austin gut each other on promos over the course of three weeks.
The Shawn seg was superfluous in both placing and content.
Originally posted by thecubsfanTHE EVAN BOURNE RAW LOSING STREAK IS OVER...FINALLY! MY GOD FINALLY! EVAN BOURNE HAS WON A MATCH ON RAW!
But since every nerd/good worker/non-bodybuilder/big gay/small person's success is inversely proportional to another one's failure, Evan's triumph corresponded with Daniel Bryan's getting bitchified. Oh well. Coulda been worse for Bryan, he coulda been Seamus!
Speaking of Seamus, his sodomizer--Triple H--got a really weak ovation considering the amount of time he's been off, and his pausing to milk that paltry Triple H chant was a bit sad. It's obvious retirement has been on his mind; it's never good when a guy has had a year some-odd layoff and his first comments upon return are how he's done everything. And what was "when the streak dies, you die" and he'll end the streak or "die trying"? Doesn't that violate the old wrestling booking adage of it being dumb to promise what clearly can't be delivered? In this case, while maybe not actual death, based on the tone of Trips' promo, I'd expect a vicious, bloody brawl. And that's what the Orton/Trips match a couple Manias ago was set up to be, and then they traded wristlocks. Oh well. First Hunter segment I've watched in probably three years. If he's done soon, a plus for me.
This RAW was particularly amoral, especially in that wonky Orton segment. I know he's the cold-blooded Viper, but even Austin or Jake Roberts (the other serpent themed grapplers of wrestling's past) never threatened paralysis and permanent institutionalization with a tinge of atheism for babyface pop consumption. It's just not something I think you want to position on your show for ten-year-olds to visibly cheer for. It also dovetails in with the aforementioned promising what can't be delivered. And really, what was the reason for it? Punk cost Orton the title, alright. Lots of other people have too, and he didn't go off like that. What's their issue? It did yield us practically the only match of the night, at least.
(edited by Hogan's My Dad on 1.3.11 0031) Quiet, Or Papa Spank!
Originally posted by odessastepsIt seemed like they were injuring people to maybe get them off the WM card. Sheamus. Danielson. Maybe now Riley.
Danielson is just part of the new dictum that Miz beats someone up every week to be tough now. At least Corre vs. Nexus is off. Very much looking forward to the death of Otunga, it's been a long time coming.
It's been a long time coming.
And you know you've got it coming.
Been so long, that I gotta shine. Shine. Shine my rusty halo.
They're gonna have to dial back on the Rock/Cena animosity because people are going to be disappointed when the match fails to materialise. Maybe have Rock and Miz go at it verbally next.
Felt like an info-dump Raw, with matches being made official and stips being put forward and so on. Not the most entertaining of two hours, but somewhat necessary. Hunter's promo was everything good and bad about the guy, but he really does seem to be winding down as an in-ring participant so kudos to him.
I think it was vintage HHH to bury the roster in less then five minutes of his first promo in about a year. This was a promo dump episode. They could have saved HBK for next week or had him live since its in Texas. I do feel bad for Buffalo then I remember having to sit through 4 Super Bowls, 3 of which they got murdered in and then I was ok with it.
I am not sure why the WWE has decided with a month out to trigger all of these events. If Orton wipes out Nexus, he still has another 2 Raws to stand around with Punk. Reily being gone means we have 4 Raws of Miz and Cena cutting promos as well as Rock. I do hope with Austin there next week, we do get at least one Rock/Austin moment to give Rock something else besides trashing Cena. Cena reverting to his Looney Tunes promo style showed why no one takes him seriously. He cut a great promo last week, but Rock again murdered him by bringing intensity and truth to his words. If people are wondering why they are shoving Rock, Austin, HBK and the rest of the Attitude Era around Mania, its because they can cut a promo that blurs the line between reality and fantasy.
All of this is leading to Rock giving Cena a Rock Bottom or People's Elbow now whether they do that before Mania or after Mania is the question. I think if they are going to fast forward through a lot of stuff they might as well let Rock nail him next week or the week after. Then maybe have Cena nail Rock at Mania. Regardless, they should thank their lucky stars, Rock agreed to come back, because Miz/Cena has pretty much sucked.
Originally posted by Hogan's My Dad It is true for both of them, but if you go back and watch a Stone Cold promo from the Attitude era, he basically did the same crap every week too. Hell, damn, ass, bottom line. Blah blah. Switch up names.
Originally posted by Hogan's My DadThat being said, you didn't miss anything. The segment tonight just died on the vine, mostly because Miz got this push a year early and is mediocre at best in the ring.
Quite untrue. The Miz can tell a great story in the ring. Personally, I find the weak link in the feud is Cena's tendency to slingshot from serious to happy-go-lucky, the terrible jokes, and lousy content. The booking of the Miz hasn't helped either, but now that Riley's gone perhaps this will get better.
Originally posted by Hogan's My DadAlso, Cena's jokes were bad. They (Cena/Miz) don't have to carry 'Mania thankfully, but wow, the heat tonight made me think they couldn't carry a Night of Champions.
The jokes were bad, but I also think the crowd was flat due to it being an exposition night; very little in the way of matches or backstage action happening. I know I'd be bored with a show that was mostly talking,
Originally posted by Hogan's My DadRock. Rock, Rock, Rock. That was...weird, I think. He came off like an aloof heel. "You rapped...at ME!?!" But like any good heel, before WWE ruined what heels are supposed to be, he's a heel who feels justified. Will reactions make him de facto babyface? Maybe. But keep up with the taped promos and fans may turn on Rock again as in '03.
I don't know about this; several people who hate Cena are of an age where they remember the Rock and probably miss the gold old days. Split crowd? Maybe. But the Rock will get face reactions.
Originally posted by Hogan's My DadEnd of the day, though, no one gives a shit about the Miz in this equation
This remains to be seen, still lots of time until Mania.
Originally posted by Hogan's My Dad But since every nerd/good worker/non-bodybuilder/big gay/small person's success is inversely proportional to another one's failure, Evan's triumph corresponded with Daniel Bryan's getting bitchified. Oh well. Coulda been worse for Bryan, he coulda been Seamus!
Yeah, a guy gets punked out by the WWE CHAMPION and he's bitchified.
"The Miz is an after thought and looks weak as champ: *Miz attacks Person X and lays them out* "ZOMG PERSON X IS NOW BEING BITCHIFIED!@#*#!!!!!!!!111!11"
Originally posted by Hogan's My DadSpeaking of Seamus, his sodomizer--Triple H--
WTF is this supposed to mean? Seriously, WTF?
Originally posted by Hogan's My Dadgot a really weak ovation considering the amount of time he's been off,
Probably because he came back last week. To a huge pop, I may add.
Originally posted by Hogan's My DadIt's obvious retirement has been on his mind; it's never good when a guy has had a year some-odd layoff and his first comments upon return are how he's done everything. And what was "when the streak dies, you die" and he'll end the streak or "die trying"?
Name one thing in the WWE Triple H hasn't done, one accomplishment. He has done it all.
Originally posted by Hogan's My DadThis RAW was particularly amoral, especially in that wonky Orton segment. I know he's the cold-blooded Viper, but even Austin or Jake Roberts (the other serpent themed grapplers of wrestling's past) never threatened paralysis and permanent institutionalization with a tinge of atheism for babyface pop consumption.
I found this unsettling as well. But I suppose on the plus side it means it'll be easier to tun him heel.....? Maybe?
After a (very) long hiatus, I have begun to write again. And this time, I'm not alone!
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Originally posted by Spiraling_ShapeWhere was JoMo? (Superstars?)
Wasn't he amazing at Elimination Chamber? Golly. His performance at EC was probably the single most dramatic example I've ever seen of an employee doing everything humanly possible short of dying to get his boss' attention.
As for the night after and the Monday after that, I guess it didn't work.
They've got real small plans for John Morrison.
(edited by John Orquiola on 1.3.11 0609) @BackoftheHead
...before HHH dumps Steph (not me, the other one)?
Steph's promo on Smackdown! made HHH sound like her assassin - or worse, her lapdog. She also dissed his accomplishments by attributing his successes to her politics rather than his own work.