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The W - Pro Wrestling - Raw 9-8-03
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ScreamingHeadGuy
Frankfurter








Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 566 days
Last activity: 566 days
#1 Posted on
It's a steel cage, and strobe lights are SO seizure-inducing.

Why won't they wake up? Really, I want to know. It's Raw, live from Huntsville, AL, and a Fashion Report, too!

Kane, in black spandex with red straps, under the towell, with FOOTAGE! of the nut-roast, vs. Rob, in black singlet with white oriental dragon coiled and ying-yangs. Earl Hebener is in the stripes. Kane's "scars" look a lot like a rash, or rug burn (but HOW do you get rug burn on your neck?). See Rob blade in four minutes. RVD goes through the cage? No, Bisch is out to set the record straight. There's a lull, so Adbreak picks his spot to run-in. Kane talking trash is so wonderfully evil. Chokeslam off the top rope to a pin. Post-match Rob gets stretchered. A nice match the Adbreak really hurt the pacing, though. Rob didn't really bleed well.

King, in black/white checkered shirt with gold swirls, and JR, in black hat and black "Raw" shirt, bring us FOOTAGE! Much FOOTAGE!

Bisch, in black shortsleeved shirt (top two buttons open) and black pants, books Kane vs. Shane for Unforgiven. Wasn't that already a match? Must be my "smarky-sense" speaking there. And he makes Coach vs. JR into Coach/Snow vs. JR/King, the winners get to commentate on Raw. Well, I know who I'M rooting for (well, if I cared about this match, I would, that is). AND he books HHH vs. Goldberg, each with a mystery partner, for tonight.

Rico, in purple and tassled tights and purple feather boa, with Miss Jackie, in not-there cyan tights and tassled cyan top, vs. FOOTAGE! of Lance/Golddust, vs. Lance Storm, in red undies, with Golddust. Missile dropkick to a pin. Lance dances? A nice match.

In the back, Bisch and HHH talk. Just who ARE those "mystery" partners, anyway?

Trish, in black trenchcoat, top and shiny green pants, and Jackie, in blue oil-slick topwrap and black pants, vs. Gail, in black trenchcoat, white skimpies and bikini top, and Molly, in blue V-neck and black pants. Getting thrown over the top rope to a pin. Post-match beatdown. An average match.

Austin, in black sleeveless "F*CK Fear" tshirt, jean shorts and kneebraces, with a red carpet and podium (with skull seal). How would YOU feel if you were the person who spent hours on that podium, only to have Austin throw it out right away? I would feel sad. Austin talks, and makes stipulations to the HHH vs. Goldberg match, so that HHH will HAVE to lose the title. Now Christian!, in, um, a red/yellow shirt and bellbottom jeans, with the IC Title over his shoulder, excuses himself. Christian! talks-down Jericho and his Hilight Reel. To this, Jericho, in sparkly black/turquoise "Jericho" shirt and blue pants, comes out to respond, with his fists. Must Jericho ALWAYS work-in "sanctimonious"? No, Jericho, don't give in to the beer! But he doesn't listen, so here comes the kick-wham-stunner. I smell a slow face turn, with many seeds planted for a re-turn.

Already in the ring, La Resistance, in black "La Resistance " undies, Rob Conway, in purple undies, Mack, in silver "Back the Mack" undies, and Mark Henry, in black singlet with silver slashes, vs. Hurricane, in green "H" cape, and black/green "H" suit and Rosey, in neon green/purple shorts, navy-blue "Super Hero In Training" tshirt, orange shirt and tights, with purple mask and Hurricane beach-towell, and the Dudleys; Bubba in "Dudleyville 3D" jersey and black warmups, Spike, in sleeveless black "Dudley Boyz 3D" tshirt and orange/white camo pants, and Dvon in sleeveless black "Dudley Boyz 3D" tshirt and green military camo pants. Mark messes up a landing, all hell breaks loose. Slam to a pin. Post-match, La Resistance brain Spike. A pretty sloppy affair.

In the back, Bisch, Snow and Coach talk. Bisch thinks of booking a match at the PPV. Then Gail shows up to "talk" to Bisch. Hey, baby, come here and "talk" to me.

In the back, HHH pimps Stinger energy drink. And he talks-down Goldberg. Torrie needs food, badly.

Dear JR: there is no such torture technique as "gut and quartered", nor is there any (so far as I know) butchering technique by that name. I believe you mean "drawn and quartered." Oh, and they run-down the Unforgiven card (subject to change).

"Live" via satelite, Shane's upper torso speaks. Then Bisch, somehow, invades the video feed. Mucho blabo. I zone out, but I hear them talk about screwing each other. Linda, meanwhile, forgotten, weeps.

In the back, Gail WAS quick (I mean, Bisch wasn't out of breath, flushed, or ANYTHING in the next segment). But Molly doesn't really know for sure ('cuz she's a virgin). Wait - maybe that's what the "screwing" talk in the last segment was about. Gail, I can "talk" for hours on end. I'm a "talking" machine! And I'm a good "listener", too.

Stevie, in pink "Stevie neight Heat" fullcuts, with Victoria, also in pink, vs. Steiner, in red tights with gold "wings". Test and Stacie hang around. Um...face-first plant to a pin. Post-match Steiner and Test blab. So, Test is building his own little harem, eh?

Wait, they bleep "sloppy seconds"? Fuck you. You're the same guy that bleeped "not" earlier.

Coach, in black shirt and slacks, with backwards hat, and Snow, in black sleeveless tshirt and bluejeans, have Photoshop capabilities; fear them! Hilarity does NOT ensue. Really a waste of time.

In the back, Goldberg has to change in the hallway (all the closets were taken, I guess). That's where Terri runs into him and makes him talk. I-will-believe-the-hype.

Goldberg (now with a locker room?), in black fullcuts with white trim and butt-barbedwire, vs. HHH, in black ironcross bikershorts, wearing the World Heavyweight Title. Bisch comes out and intros the partners. HHH gets Flair, in royal blue "Nature Boy" robe with silver sparklies. Goldberg gets Randy, in black "Orton" undies with hip bolts. Match starts at 10:03. Immediately the beatdown ensues, and the cage lowers. Goldberg bleeds MIGHTILY! I say No Contest, but it was a nice beatdown. But Goldberg can't take a Pedigree worth crap.

Overall: Better than other recent efforts. I'd say an average (decent) show. Pretty much every segment helped build to a PPV segment (except Jericho/Christian!/Austin...well, so far there's no PPV issue there).

To nitpick, do NOT have a commercial break in a match, and then have only 2 more minutes of match after the adbreak. That really messed-up the pacing. And the 10-man match was sloppy - very sloppy; maybe less men would mean less chances for f-ups that could seriously injure people (poor Spike's brain). And the Coach/Snow/JR/King segment was not worthwhile.

Edit:Dang typos.

(edited by ScreamingHeadGuy on 8.9.03 2219)


Fashion Reporter Extraordinare

...as is proper.

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Ramblin Wreck
Weisswurst








Since: 28.7.03
From: Atlanta

Since last post: 3557 days
Last activity: 3543 days
#2 Posted on
The table spot for Spike Dudley really made me cringe. At first I thought that they flat out missed the spot and that he was supposed to break the table but banged his head by accident.

Then they showed it at least three more times so maybe it wasn't an accident. Spike has agreed to do some crazy spots before, but he couldn't possibly prepared for hitting the back of his head off the edge of a table, could he? It just reminds me of a diving board and makes my stomach churn to think about it.

I really really hope he is all right.
Evil Antler God
Potato korv








Since: 10.1.02

Since last post: 2756 days
Last activity: 882 days
#3 Posted on
Fricking hell, if I had taken a drink for every blown spot on that show.....well, I'd probably be dead.....

Spike nearly gets killed, the goddamn sound guys seemingly bleep the wrong words on three seperate occassions, Jericho blows a BEER TOSSING spot (though thankfully Austin actually knows how to adlib), the Pedigree is botched, I don't know what else.....this was just a mess and a half.....



Anybody can kick people's asses. But it takes a true monster to kick people's asses AND breastfeed at the same time
- Excalibur05
knightvibe
Salami








Since: 12.7.03
From: st louis, missouri

Since last post: 3389 days
Last activity: 3388 days
#4 Posted on
Good show I thought.
Built towartds the PPV better than any recent RAW.
Lance Storm was impressive and the cage match was fun!



and thats all i have to say about that!
Kevintripod
Andouille








Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 4 hours
AIM:  
#5 Posted on
It looked like a total screw-up to me. I immediately thought Spike either cracked his skull open, or broke his neck. Did you see how Hurricane and the referee immediately ran to him to see if he was ok. La Resistance looked like they were really scared and not sure what to do.



"This just got a hell of a lot better." - Stifler, American Pie
Shem the Penman
Toulouse








Since: 16.1.02
From: The Off-Center of the Universe (aka Philadelphia)

Since last post: 81 days
Last activity: 10 days
#6 Posted on
One more Raw until Unforgiven, and no space yet on the card for Jericho, Christian, or RVD. Feh. Unless they plan to do a Jericho/Christian "winner gets his own talk show" match.

I pretty much lost interest after the Kane/RVD and Rico/Storm matches; the only thing that made an impression was La Resistance nearly turning Spike into Droz's wheelchair buddy. Send them back to OVW already.





"I do have a degree in electrical engineering... from almost 20 years ago. Punchcard systems were just becoming obsolete, we had rotary phones in the dorms, and a modem was still a gizmo the size of a shoebox into which you squooshed the phone receiver itself. In short, we lived like animals.

The instant obsolesence is why I became a writer. The rate of punctuation in a sentence doesn't double every 18 friggin' months, and you never have some 22-year-old looming over your shoulder, shaking his head, saying "dude... you're still using adverbs...?"

-- Bob Harris
InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 5 hours
#7 Posted on
    Originally posted by Evil Antler God
    Fricking hell, if I had taken a drink for every blown spot on that show.....well, I'd probably be dead.....

    Spike nearly gets killed, the goddamn sound guys seemingly bleep the wrong words on three seperate occassions, Jericho blows a BEER TOSSING spot (though thankfully Austin actually knows how to adlib), the Pedigree is botched, I don't know what else.....this was just a mess and a half.....


Don't forget Molly blowing the spot where she was just trying to get out of the ring. It looked like she went to go over the second rope and didn't get her leg high enough, hit the second rope, stopped, then went under the second rope instead. I don't know why, but I found that highly amusing.

And my satellite system totally blew the spot where it was supposed to show the Coach photoshop segment by losing signal and coming back during the Goldberg/Terri interview. Glad to hear I didn't miss anything important there.
Mr Heel II
Bratwurst








Since: 25.2.02

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#8 Posted on
Jericho's "missed" beer spot was intentional. They played out that exact same scenario at the "House Show Highlight Reel" in Des Moines a few weeks ago. In fact, the ending was also exactly the same except it was hurried...they did it slower in Des Moines and milked the crowd more.

Spike, however, another story. I wanted to run in and kill La Resistance for that one. But after they put Hurricane through the table and did the camera angle of the two of them laid out together, I have to wonder if Spike was supposed to land on the ground in the first place and the problem was where the Dudley's set the table up to begin with. I'm doubting it, and that was just stupid in any case.

If you didn't immediately know who Bischoff's surprise partners were going to be in the main...oh never mind.

Before Kawshen even posts the caption contest..."Bischoff-Shane...Seperated at birth?"

Doesn't Rico kinda look like an out-of-shape Ultimate Warrior?

Nice of JR to acknowledge Bischoff had a point about the rules in a cage match.

"Stormtroopers"?

Poor Lance. He gets the win, he does the dance, but he doesn't get any music to dance to.

I hope that we get the Spanish announce team during the Announcer Tag Match at Unforgiven.

Assuming I bother.

Heck...I'm not going to bother...



(edited by Mr Heel II on 8.9.03 2235)


Big Bad
Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 5 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.54
Looks like Spike will have to update his top ten worst bumps list. Good lord.

I'm not usually a fan of the 'backstage policing' crap, but I have a feeling that La Resistance will be feeling a few stiff punches at Unforgiven.

This edition of RAW stunk.



"When this bogus term alternative rock was being thrown at every '70s retro rehash folk group, we were challenging people to new sonic ideas. If some little snotty anarchist with an Apple Mac and an attitude thinks he invented dance music and the big rock group is coming into his territory, [that's] ridiculous." - Bono, 1997
Kevintripod
Andouille








Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 4 hours
AIM:  
#10 Posted on
    Originally posted by Mr Heel II


    Doesn't Rico kinda look like an out-of-shape Ultimate Warrior?




Yeah.....he does seem to be getting a nice sized belly on him.



"This just got a hell of a lot better." - Stifler, American Pie
jwrestle
Lap cheong








Since: 4.4.03
From: Nitro WV

Since last post: 200 days
Last activity: 1 day
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#11 Posted on
- Spike just became a crash test dummy. Shesh did they have to show it over and over. OUCH! Well wishes for spike.

- Goldburg, goldburg, goldburg...why even waist my breath.
- Cage Match to start Raw!
- Cool, a fake finish.
- Kane still one major Monster
- Scott Stiener, Test's biatch?!?
- Decent Five man, poor spike.
- WTF? Jericho?
- WTF? State of Raw!!
- WTF? Al and Coach.
- Gail and Eric...that was quick?!?
- Pretty good show, train wreck of missed spots.



This is getting annoying now isn't it?
Banned Once! The independant thought alarm went off, knew to much about b*tching.
TheCheat
Tocino








Since: 8.7.03
From: Strongbadia

Since last post: 3151 days
Last activity: 3121 days
#12 Posted on
Kane/RVD was really good, would've been ***** except for that inane adbreak. God that sucked.

I know that JR and King won't lose, because we'll never be lucky enough to get rid of THOSE old assholes, but boy, it's nice to think about it, isn't it? For once I find myself agreeing with Bischoff; King, JR, YOU SUCK.

Lance isn't boring! Huzzah!

The 10-man got really bogged down, especially with the blown spots by Mark Henry and LR.

HHH's pimping of YJ Stinger was REALLY lame.

RAW vs. Heat was even LAMER. Two overweight, aged, dried-up old asshats beat up a guy in the prime of his youth and Al Snow? Did like the Photoshops though.

Goldberg/Orton v. HHH/Flair was a beatdown, but I guess you have to let PoocHHHie get his heat back after quivering in terror last week.



"I said consummate V's! CONSUMMATE!" - Strong Bad
Michrome
Head cheese








Since: 2.1.03

Since last post: 3650 days
Last activity: 2716 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Another in a series of horrible, craptacular Raws. Honestly, who books this shit? Kane was the hottest character on Raw a few weeks ago, and now he's relegated to a pointless feud with Shane. What's the point of the match anyways, to see Shane take some sick bump? Jericho is the most over guy on Raw, but they are doing nothing with him. What's the point of these Austin-Jericho segments if they aren't leading to any match? How many buys can Goldberg-HHH get alone? Here is the Unforgiven card:
--HHH vs. Bill Goldberg in a "Only match with decent buildup" match.
--Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton
--Kane vs. Shane Mcmahon in a "Last Man Standing" match.
--Test vs. Scott Steiner in a "Who booked this shit" match.
--Dudleys vs. La Resistance in a Tables match
--Coach/Al Snow vs. JR/King

That's six matches, and I assume they'll add Christian vs. Jericho to the card next week. So we're looking at a 7 match card with none of the matches looking good enough for a long time slot. Any buys this show gets will be to see Goldberg win the title. Anyways, it won't be enough for a good buyrate, so WWE will have Goldberg drop the title back to Hunter at Survivor Series because Goldberg didn't draw. Winner: HHH Losers: Everyone else.
Liz
Chipolata








Since: 26.8.03
From: Ironton, Ohio

Since last post: 2492 days
Last activity: 1555 days
AIM:  
#14 Posted on
Random RAW thoughts --

Because I suck, I fell asleep and missed the first half of the show. So no comments on RVD/Kane or StormDust/Rico.

Molly & Gail vs. Trish & Jacqui - The women looked really good, I thought. The pace was much faster than I usually expect from them. Gail still needs to tie that hair back.

State of RAW - Wow, Austin throws shit out of the ring again. Care. 'EXCUSE ME! INTER-CONTI-NENTAL CHAMP-ION OVER HERE!' Good lord, Christian's outfit was straight from International Male. I want The Peep Show! Jericho really needs to stop with the 'sanctimonious son of a bitch'. Brawl. Christian leaves. I'm sad. I heart Christian. Beer. Chris drops his. I don't like SCSA, but damn, he's quick on the draw. Stunner.

La Resistance & Rob Conway & Team Mack vs Hurricane & Rosie vs. Dudleyz - Can the Dudleyz go away YET? Please? Clusterfuck match. Good lord, Mark Henry is huge. Did he really hurt his leg? I was terrified for Spike for a second. Sloppy match, but kept my interest.

Coach & Al & Bischoff - Coach cracks me up when he mocks JR. Sleazy E! I love me some Eric. Gail is so beautiful it hurts to look at her.

Terri & Trips - Is Trips THAT big? Or is Terri that fucking small? Good lord.

Shane - His nuts are intact. The Kane/Shane will be LMS. Okay. Thank you. Let's move along.

Gail & Molly - I'm glad to see they're developing the feud. Yay for backstage viginettes with the women!

Stevie w. Vickie vs. Scott Steiner (Test & Stacey @ ringside) - Squash. I don't care about Stacey. Does anyone want to see Test vs. Steiner AGAIN? I don't. Stip that Steiner has to watch Test if he loses the match at Unforgiven. Um, watch him do what? Fuck Stacey? If she's there against her will, is this yet MORE implied rape? Stupid. Bleh.

Coach & Al & JR & Lawler - Wow, fear Coach's mad PSP skillz, y0. I wasn't amused. Not that it couldn't have been funny, it just sucked. JR gets pissy. JR gets a punch in on Coach. I don't care because this is fucking DUMB.

Terri & Goldberg - Believe the hype, bitches. I say, no.

Goldberg & Orton vs. Trips & Flair - Beatdown inside the cage. I was strongly smelling a face turn by Orton, but my ass got DENIED! Oh, well. Trips (or Goldberg) botches the Pedigree. Sigh. Don't care! Well, I do. Kinda. But we could have had a good match in the ME instead of just an Evolution ass kicking.

Signs! They all sucked! The only thing I saw was one that said "Section Al!" For some reason, that gave me the giggles.

Decent show, but it was lacking. It came across as very thrown together and disjointed, and there seemed to be a plethora of missed spots.

Get well soon, Booker. I miss you!





Hunger hurts, but starving works.
darkmatcher
Bockwurst








Since: 12.2.03
From: New York, USA

Since last post: 2493 days
Last activity: 1569 days
#15 Posted on
    Originally posted by TheCheat
    Kane/RVD was really good, would've been *****...


Um...you're serious?

Ok, La Resistance. Why exactly are they our tag team champs? They don't even deserve to be on tv after tonight. Their new partner appears to be showing more skill than both of them combined though. Not that that's saying much.



what you say
ThreeLeggedWonder
Cotto








Since: 14.7.03
From: NYC

Since last post: 3345 days
Last activity: 2688 days
AIM:  
#16 Posted on
So now Lance Storm dances, OK. Just give him back his old tights and I'll forgive everything else. Also if Lance is Golddust's Protege shouldn't he have kissed Rico???



No, not my gumdrop buttons!!!
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 28 days
Last activity: 51 min.
#17 Posted on
    Originally posted by Mr Heel II
    Jericho's "missed" beer spot was intentional. They played out that exact same scenario at the "House Show Highlight Reel" in Des Moines a few weeks ago. In fact, the ending was also exactly the same except it was hurried...they did it slower in Des Moines and milked the crowd more.
Yup, we got a very similar thing as part of the aftershow in Tucson on 8/25 -- apparently it takes a lot of practice for a good Canadian boy to fumble a perfectly good beer.

Spike, Spike, Spike! I don't know if La Res didn't toss poor him properly, or if the table was in the wrong place, or both. That was very, very scary. I think somebody called an audible to put Hurricane through the table, once once they determined that Spike was still mostly in one piece. There seems to be a rule that you can't leave a table unbroken.

    Originally posted by Mr Heel II
    I hope that we get the Spanish announce team during the Announcer Tag Match at Unforgiven.
That's what it needs! A little lucha style!! :-)
Lexus
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Stafford, VA

Since last post: 4 hours
Last activity: 3 hours
AIM:  
#18 Posted on
    Originally posted by TheCheat
    The 10-man got really bogged down, especially with the blown spots by Mark Henry and LR.

    Goldberg/Orton v. HHH/Flair was a beatdown, but I guess you have to let PoocHHHie get his heat back after quivering in terror last week.


Mark Henry blew no spots. The bumps both he and Rosey took, MH through the ropes like a cruiser, Rosey into the ring corner ala Jericho, respectively, were very impressive, IMO, considering they are big men. The thought of Mark Henry blowing a spot, with that much size and power, is frightening.

I don't see how HHH got any heat back in a three on one beat down. Maybe you could explain that one to me. Not only that, but gaining heel heat as a heel is a good thing, seeing as it will add to a babyfaces peril, ie, his heat, too.

Goldust rocks.

Oh, and Rico is totally ripping off Ichikiro Stoker.





Kane celebrates the fact that there used to be days where you couldn't electricute mens' genitalia during prime time.
Toast Jr
Chourico








Since: 30.1.03
From: Stafford Springs, CT

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 1 day
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
    Originally posted by Liz
    Stip that Steiner has to watch Test if he loses the match at Unforgiven. Um, watch him do what? Fuck Stacey? If she's there against her will, is this yet MORE implied rape?


Clearly it is in her managerial contract that she has to sleep with all her clients. She really should have revised that thing before the last Steiner/Test match.

ScreamingHeadGuy, did you notice the little fashion report Austin gave during his bit with Jericho? I immediately thought of you!
Hogan's My Dad
Andouille








Since: 8.6.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 13 days
Last activity: 13 days
#20 Posted on
Could someone please explain to me where, within the context of the storyline, Shane would get this "I'm a badass" attitude that he bandies about on RAW? This is a character progression that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

It doesn't help that Kane is supposed to be a monster but a trust-fund baby without real problems isn't afraid of this Monster. Even AFTER he was already tortured by the Monster via genital electrocution. Shane's pops are getting smaller and smaller, and the booking logic that explains this phenomenon of indifference is simple: He's the anti-Austin. Everything that got Austin over: namely mic skills and a gimmick anyone could relate to, are what makes Shane impossible to like as a television viewer. His dialogue seems forced and unrealistic, he's apparently not in good enough shape to even wear a short-sleeve t-shirt, he's rich, he's fearless, he can easily beat wrestlers without significant training or consistent effort, and he's goofy-looking. I hope they do something with this "big bump" stuff he allegedly is so good at that gets Kane over, instead of just Shane.

The rest of the show was violent penetration at best. The fans totally bought into Jericho, but they diffused that twice in one segment so they could continue to put over the non-wrestling hick. Spike showed tonight why a career as a human rag-doll for little money is probably a bad vocational choice. I don't care if it was the Frenchies' fault, there have been plenty of times when he's whored himself out for brutality displays with little hope of reaping any reward. And he needs to ask himself the question, every single time something like what went down last night happens, if Vince "Fuck you Billy Graham" McMahon is really going to take care of him when he's coming apart at the seams in a few years.

I want to vomit every time anyone has to sell for JR. Al Snow shouldn't be afraid of Jerry Lawler. Al Snow's not a 12 year old girl.





"Whatever I just posted above is what your mother said in bed last night."
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