In the back, HHH, in peach-pink shortsleeves (top three buttons undone) meets with Bisch, in brown shortsleeves and black cap. They plan a party.
Why won't they wake up? Could it be that their alarm clock is broken? It's time for Raw, LIVE from the University of South Carolina, and a Fashion Report, too!
Jericho, in black sleeveless Hilight-Reel-logo tshirt and pink/purple/tan silhoutte-tights, and Christian!, in blue/green shirt and bellbottom jeans, are on strike in the ring and talking, too. Now Austin, in black sleeveless "F*CK Fear" tshirt, jean shorts and kneebraces (yeah, Toast Jr, I noticed, too), is out to gain some understanding. Okay, let's start bleeping for no apparant reason early. Austin books a match, contingent on ANOTHER match which he books - right now!
Jericho vs. Rob, in black singlet with white flames, red "RVD" and dragon biting his butt. Right off, Adbreak gets involved. We're back, and Christian!'s at ringside for interference. Christian! with beltshots for a Double-DQ (?). Then Austin comes out and makes it Christian! vs. Jericho vs. Rob at the PPV.
Goldberg FOOTAGE! tells me to "Believe the Hype."
Spike, in sleeveless black "Dudley Boyz 3D" tshirt, orange/white camo pants and neckbrace, with Bubba and DVon, vs. Rob Conway, in purple "Conway" undies with "RC" wings on the butt, with La Resistance, without the coats. The match is over before I finish taking notes. Squash. Post-match, Spike goes through a table.
In the back, ABC (Al, Bisch, and Coach) plot. ProductionGirl, in denim jacket (a jacket, inside, in South Carolina?), brings Bisch a note.
In the back, Bisch meets Mae and Moolah. Austin arrives, just because.
Victoria, in black latex bikini top and low-riding pants with studded choker and belt, vs. Moolah, in black singlet and sparkly coat, with Mae. Rollup to a pin for Moolah. Post-match a beatdown. Orton, in white polo and black slacks, comes out to (see it coming) deliver an RKO to Moolah.
YJ Stinger - Caution: Do not spit.
FOOTAGE! never lies. The hype - believe it.
Lance, with new hip-hop music, dancing, in red undies, and Golddust, in exquisite long gold robe (with sleeves!) and wig, with FOOTAGE!, vs. Mack, in black open hooded shirt and black "Back the Mack" (along the beltline) undies, and Mark Henry, in black singlet with silver-and-blue slashes, with Long, in black suit. Slam to a pin for Mark. Hey, Mark, Mae is in the back - go celebrate with your honey. An average, but short, match.
In the back, Evolution is walking. Randy looks at Maven, then speaks at Shawn. Shawn, in black tshirt with radiant white cross, speaks back, then delivers a bitchslap.
Earlier Today, Rosie tried to fly under the tutelage of Hurricane. Meanwhile, Terri (needs food badly) interviews Molly and Gail. Mmm - Molly in an open shirt. I need a moment.
Bisch, in the same as before, has a contract, in the carpeted and furnished ring. Kane, in black spandex with red straps, under the towell, can sign his name. Hey - does he sign "Kane"? Is that really his legal name? Just wondering. Shane, in funky blue shirt and worn jeans talks (hey - they're going down together - how erotic), then he, too, signs. Shane with the beatdown. Why the hell is an announce table there?
Which came first - the FOOTAGE! or the hype? It does not matter, for I believe.
Trish, in sparkly graphite/silver top and pants, and sparkly silver trenchcoat, vs. Molly, in red one-strap top and black/red pants, and Gail, in orange-brown lace-up top and skimpy shorts, and black trenchcoat. A nice match. Post-match beatdown. Then Lita, in green midriff-baring shirt, Khaki shorts and striped red socks (oh man, the socks!), comes out for the save. Then she takes her shirt off (um, okay).
In the back, Molly and Gail nurse their injuries. Icky! - Gail DID "sleep" with Bisch (who has a, shall I say, "itchy trigger finger").
Coach, in white cowboy hat and white/blue checkered shirt, and Snow, in paper crown, shower curtain, red Hawaiian shirt and scepter, at the "extra" table, take over commentary from JR, in black "WW" shirt and black hat, and King, in purple shirt with gold...somethings.
Just to prove it's Heat, Val, in a towell and black undies with red "V"s thereunder, vs. Test, in black undies with red hip-flames, with Stacie. Steiner, in chainmail and green camo pants, comes out. Some kind of suplex to a pin for Val. Post-match a little scuffle between Steiner and Test.
King calls-out Al. But first, and Adbreak.
More Goldberg hype, in FOOTAGE! form. How can you NOT believe?
King, in yellow one-strap singlet and blue tights, vs. Al, in jeans, in a battle to kill ratings. Must...not...flip...to...Monday Night Football. Inside cradle to a pin for King. I feel unclean.
Preview the PPV card.
In the back, Austin meets-up with Evolution.
HHH, in salmon-pink shirt and black pants, with the Heavyweight Title over his shoulder, to HHHis music, is out for a party. Balloons, confetti, etc. Even with the FOOTAGE!, it's nowhere near HHH's best (or even up to his standard of) promo. Goldberg possesses the Titantron - he's got powers! (the powers of "ass"). Goldberg, in black jeans, runs out and slams HHH.
Overall: Poor time management hurt the second hour. The announcer stuff is brutal. Not the way you want to head into a PPV. A subpar show.
Man, that last segment went on forever. The crowd got a crappy "Main Event". HHH was trying to be "The Rock", and it surely wasn't working. He doesn't have the charisma for that at all. It was obvious he was trying to be charismatic, it wasn't working and the crowd was giving him the silent treatment. The mic going out was perfect. I was hoping the skit was going to be over with at that point. I have no idea why they did that long crowd shot though during that time. It didnt make the mic start working or anything.
A terrible way to end the show right before a PPV.
January 4th 1999 - The day WCW injected itself with 10 gallons of Liquid Anthrax...AKA...The day Hogan "Defeated" Nash to win the WCW title in front of 40,000.
Is it just me or did Lita & Victoria both have their implants reduced/removed? Not that I'm complaining, they both looked great.
And props to Jim Ross for saying that Spike's head hitting the table last week was one of the most painful things he'd ever seen, specifically putting it above Foley's cell dive. I turned my head for the replays of that botched spot. Only other time I've done that was for Brock's SSP.
I have a feeling this show is going to be maligned here, but I enjoyed 90% of it. HHH was having an off night, as far as mic work went, but they did a good job of hyping Goldberg.
I wasn't sure before, but now I'm almost certain that the Lance Storm angle is going to end up with him snapping and becoming even more serious than before and kicking some ass along the way.
As Austin explained that he rehired Lita, I could hear the collective grown from the 40% of this board who were pissed off that they had one less thing to complain about.
Bonus props to Coach for mentioning that contract signings almost always end in chaos and to ScreamingHeadGuy for the Gauntlet reference.
Only things I really would have changed were to have the announcers segment and accompanying matches earlier in the show and speed up the last segment. Not a great show, but not nearly as bad as I imagine a lot of people are going to claim.
The addition of the women's match and the triple threat IC match helps the Unforgiven card, though. I was psyched to see Lita back, whipping girl of the IWC though she may be. I'm looking forward to Kane/Shane most of all at the moment; hopefully my boy Kane will beat his ass all over the arena and we'll see some of Shane-O-Mac's trademark ridiculous bumps.
Unfortunately, if the old "last one to get punked out wins the match" rule holds true, Trips will retain, but I can't see them ditching Goldberg when he's so over.
Test/Steiner will be a wash, but it was nice to see Val Venis on Raw. I love that guy- He doesn't get nearly enough credit. Dudleys/La Res is so tired It's not even remotely amusing. I know Shawn Michaels can pull great matches out of people, but Orton is so vanilla that I have low expectations.
It was sickening to see Lance Storm (who I always respected, but am now really getting into) and Goldust (who I love) job to Rodney Mack and Mark Henry. Those guys give me The Fear. If they're about to be forcibly injected into the tag title scene, I might lose it entirely. Dudleys/ La Res sucks, but Mack and Henry are abysmal.
I still can't fathom giving the announcers a high-profile match, even though I enjoy evil Coach for the sheer absurdity. ScreamingHeadGuy is right- the announcer bullshit is brutal beyond words.
I love the Bishoff/Stone Cold dynamic, but they really need to keep Stone Cold from punking out active wrestlers. It pisses me off to no end.
HHH has a microphone and doesn't realize it's working fine. That could have been SUCH a delicious disaster...
Jericho and Christian were pretty good, but after Austin came out it all went to hell. But we get a potentially great match at Unforgiven out of the deal. Because every PPV needs at least ONE...
Shane and Kane did more to interest me in their PPV matchup tonight than they have this entire feud. Too bad pretty much everything else that came after in the show reminded my why NOT to buy, but oh well.
I can't believe they fed Victoria to Moolah like that...but props to Victoria for giving the lamest offense ever to Moolah and Young on purpose just to further display how silly this whole thing was.
Sure it was a fuckup, but since nobody got killed, let's milk the daylights out of Spike's head shot to the table! Notice that Rob Conway is the only one allowed to touch Spike.
Did Jessie look like she was going to bust out laughing as she turned to leave after giving Bischoff the note or what?
If anything, I thought Lita's breasts looked more realistic tonight. She looked like she thought she was going to bounce out of her bra out of that power bomb.
What does it say about SreamingHeadGuy when he goes into great detail about what Test is wearing, what Venis is wearing, and what Steiner is wearing, but he doesn't even mention what Stacy is wearing? ;-)
Not much of a show. Even less of a PPV this SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
Originally posted by Mr Heel II What does it say about SreamingHeadGuy when he goes into great detail about what Test is wearing, what Venis is wearing, and what Steiner is wearing, but he doesn't even mention what Stacy is wearing? ;-)
It says that I was pretty much ignoring most of the escorts this week. See also: DVon and Bubba, Moolah.
But, FYI, it was a short black skirt and black top, and a red thong with black trim. See, it DOES stand-out in my memory. But not as much as Molly in the open shirt.
"Just like Goldberg, these mics don't work well either." or something along those lines.
Pot, kettle, black. Let's see how Holden McGroin is able to perform on Sunday.
"When this bogus term alternative rock was being thrown at every '70s retro rehash folk group, we were challenging people to new sonic ideas. If some little snotty anarchist with an Apple Mac and an attitude thinks he invented dance music and the big rock group is coming into his territory, [that's] ridiculous." - Bono, 1997
Okay, I guess I can't call Lita a two-move wonder any more. That was a pretty good powerbomb, and the DDT looked good too -- although probably more due to Molly practically doing a headstand to sell it. Still, I'll wait and see what she does in an actual match. No, I'm not buying Unforgiven to see, though. There's curious, and there's crazy.
"Oh, by the way, Randy Orton -- legend killer." Heh. Way too much setup for the Heel Beats Up Old Lady bit, but Moolah took the RKO like a champ.
The actual wrestling on this show? Fairly unobtrusive. RVD/Jericho was good while it lasted, but I'd have rather seen a clean finish and a RVD/Christian match at Unforgiven -- yes, even if that means Jericho sits home. I'm getting a bit tired of these "we don't know what to do with these guys, so let's just throw them all into one match" specials.
The contract signing ... Gee, too bad RVD didn't think to hit Kane in the balls a few times and give him some chairshots last week, huh? I'm losing count -- how many times has Shane punked out Kane? There was the time he knocked him off the stage, and of course no one will ever forget "Burn in hell, you son of a bitch!"...
The annoucer stuff was forgettable, as usual. I still maintain Snow/Lawler could've been a good match, but having Lawler bump around for a couple minutes and then get a fluke small package wasn't the way to it.
(edited by Shem the Penman on 16.9.03 0003) "I do have a degree in electrical engineering... from almost 20 years ago. Punchcard systems were just becoming obsolete, we had rotary phones in the dorms, and a modem was still a gizmo the size of a shoebox into which you squooshed the phone receiver itself. In short, we lived like animals.
The instant obsolesence is why I became a writer. The rate of punctuation in a sentence doesn't double every 18 friggin' months, and you never have some 22-year-old looming over your shoulder, shaking his head, saying "dude... you're still using adverbs...?"
I'm slightly speachless. The common fan probably loved this show. I'm not the common fan, DANGIT!
-Lita, holy abs BATMAN! -Dancing Lance Storm, nuff said. -Remember the HYPE! -Molly, Gail, I agree with SHG. I need a moment. -Kane/Shane good segemnet...at least I thought so. -Annoucer stuff, REALLY LAGGING the show. -Crowd shots while Trips Mic dies. -RVD/Jerchio Book a match -Spike, glad to see he can walk. -Starting to believe in Mark Henry
This is getting annoying now isn't it?
Banned Once! The independant thought alarm went off, knew to much about b*tching.
Sorry if this comes through frequently, but i'm getting some weird error message on Weinerboard here.
To coin a phrase...the announcer thing went on for three minutes too long.
I didn't care too much for the womens match. Trish knows her role only too well. Show up, point to the sky, get punked out by Molly and Gail, doublke DDT, 1_2_3, double DDT afterwards, thanks for coming. Adding Lita to the mix doesn't do anything...why not establish Alexis Laree or someone we don't know? Molly has Gail. Trish has....? Lita. Boring!
Here in Canada, we had the RKO on Moolah censored. Couldn't have been much uglier than her match against Victoria. Speaking of Randy Orton, what was that with Maven (was that him?) before HBK/Orton bit?
After the Henry/Storm match, I was picturing our very own CRZ quoting 1,2,3 AND NOW WE DANCE or something like that.
Exactly why are they burying Spike Dudley? It killed me to see the table bump over and over and over and over again. I pity da foo who buys the PPV...they'll show that bump another fifteen times, as well as any other sick bumps that will occur.
I was quite unimpressed with Raw this week. I can't believe I turned down an overtime shift, thinking that this RAW will good. Egg on my face!
Oh well. Another two hours of my life I'll never get back. Seems I feel this way whenever I see Raw.
Remember a few weeks ago when we were all (or at least I was) giving Gail Kim shit for botching a basic leg drop when she landed ass first on Trish's (I think that's who it was.) head? Well, after seeing her do the EXACT same move off the top rope, I'm beginning to think that Gail Kim is subliminally trying to punk out Hulk Hogan by actually using the most devestating leg drop in professional wrestling. Gail may have a nice posterior, but it can't be too pleasant having it land on your face after a 5' drop.
ROH or any other indy show is worth the trip. They usually do their best to deliver the best wrestling of the weekend. Personally I never really cared for axxess since I didn't bother getting in line for autographs but the atmoshere itself is fun.