-Evolution/Orton interview- Needs balloons. Where the hell are the balloons. What the f*ck are you doing, wait I just said that joke last month for Orton. HHH could do much better, come on dude, I know it's a little predictable with your opponent hiding in the cake, and that's fine but saying stuff like "Oh a cake this big MUST have a hot chick in it, I mean there is no other possibility but a beautiful chick, what else could it possibly be, big cake equals hot chick. Of course now let me see the hot chick" Whaaaaaat you're not a hot chick! Thank you captain set up. I always chuckle at HHH cartoonish selling like he did during the cakescapade. Batista got bloodied up big time... HHH wants Orton, Bischoff has a better idea & makes Evolution vs. Orton.
-Benoit vs. Conway- Benoit is going for revenge at La Resistance for taking his tag gold away with Edge, remember hey!... This match went longer then what I expected. A good match. Regal always looks badass when he's on my screen.
-Stacy/Molly interview- Emma and I must have the same sense of humor because I too thought Molly was really funny here. She totally ripped off the Gerald of JS2 with "You think that scares me, ballet classes for 8 years" but heck it was still funny. I really liked her asking for "classy music" & paused for a moment thinking (who the heck in this company has classy music?) *ding* William Regal lol!... I like Molly's disses on Stacy and the diva searchies. Run-ins a plenty, Bischoff makes a match. Hey I like all these girls so damn skippy I'm staying through the commercials.
-Stacy/Nidia/Victoria vs. Molly/Gail/Trish- Joined in progress(boo). Trish goes for the Stratusfear but was blocked & pushed down by Nidia who hits a nice crossbody. Trish gets the advantage with a spinebuster. The heels isolate Nidia from her corner as Nidia is selling the punishment well. Gets a HOT tag on Victoria who cleans house. Molly gets a brief advantage on Victoria, backflip elbow to the corner by Molly, Stacy tags in and rolls up Molly for the win... Don't know if there was any planning or direction there, but whatever I like seeing them work, so good for them and me lol.
-Highlight Reel- Y2J talks up himself winning the IC title for the 7th(how many times!) 7th TIME baybee! HBK also had a impressive win. HBK says he would like a shot at the IC title(he does?, he must be drunk with holy wine). Speaking of holy whine here's Christian. He tells us a passage of a man who started as in tag team, got himself a bodyguard & won ladder matches at a BIG event. Who is that man(Jesus?) No It's Christian. HBK is tired of my blasphemy filled recap so he just wants a match now to shut me up... Y2J says no way because he reads the book according of Jericho & it says in the past while as HBK has been gone Tomko was always interfering on Christian behalf(I'm a skeptic of that book, in my studies I've seen Christian hasn't BEEN AROUND in the last 4 months. Even longer than HBK absence). The last kid Y2J spoke for which he called a girl, I think was a boy. That would be emotionally dooming for the kid
-Michaels/Jericho vs. Tomko/Christian- Sign reads "Tomko is bunk". Tomko back in the ring after his amazing performance at the PPV(now lets never speak of it again). Let's do speak of that nice looking shortarm clothesline by Tomko on HBK. Babyface double plauncha on heels as we go to break... HBK superkicks Tomko for the win. Christian backjumps HBK and hits him with the unprettier on the floor. Setting up (maybe) A born again Christian vs. a gimmicked name Christian.
-Divasearch-Joy to the world, Joy is gone. Vince is out & says there's a huge announcement next weeks that will shake up Raw. These make me nervous. Back to matters at hand. The gals have over-sized gloves on but Vince changes the rules to not hit each other(ha Christy looks disappointed) but to hit Coach. Vince tells Coach to stand still as they hit him. Okay Chris first she punches the target knocks him down after jumping on his back & bites to finish it off... Carmella next got a few nice backhands & knocks Coach down, Coach gets up & Carm starts punching him with weak punches as he sells them, in a cartoonish & obvious manner. Which the fans sense & starts booing. What's that all about? He stands like a target for Chris but for Carm he takes dives? If they thought Carm knocking Coach down with obvious worked knockdowns would get her cheers, it totally backfired as the fans smelled a rat(pardon the pun)
-Kane vs. Snisky- Okay what's the catch having this match? Lita runs in & removes a chair from the unknown jobber neck(her motherly instincts are taking over). Oh no here's the catch, the end of the pregnancy angle. Showing how great Lita was in getting this story over the crowd was pretty much having a laugh over this "dramatic moment" by chanting baby killer. I see many of the female divas backstage near the ambulance, I will share a prayer with the women wrestlers that Lita's baby will be alright because I really care for the little fetus & NOTHING to do with her then coming back to the ring(hehe). Seeing Snisky being the third party in the ring during this, why do I get an image of the bookers backstage asking "Who here wants to be in the ring as Lita loses her baby" As the entire locker- room sprints out as the same time poor Snisky walks into the room to bring someone a coffee. "Snisky You're On Tonight"
-Orton vs. HHH/Batista/Flair- This match starts past the 11PM mark, I've pretty much had my fill of wrestling tonight. Orton was getting some offense on all 3 guys but the 3 guys ganged up on Orton and caused a DQ... Benjamin returns and I didn't really like the situation. Why help Orton? Plus after Benoit came out Benjamin was pretty much the third man on the depth chart of importance after it was all said and done.
-OtherStuff- Kane barges into Bischoff & he's ANGRY. He wants HBK tonight, but Bischoff can't do that as HBK is going to do the Highlight Reel in his tights and therefore can't wrestle later on(huh). Eric says he'll think of something... I thought Simon Dean was Rico! I thought Ico-Pro as well when I saw those "Vitamins". Shouldn't he bring in Muffy the fat slayer to help him out?
-Line of the Night: Molly "Whoever is in charge, play me something classy.. Like William Regal's music" -Sign of the Night: "HHH + Steph= Belt"- Gotta give Seattle credit, lot of good ones from giving props to Garcia for being the hottest diva. Saying Tomko is bunk. And an odd one claiming they got their seats for sleeping with Steph. lol -3Stars of the Night: 1)Molly. 2)Michaels. 3)Trish.
Odd Raw tonight, the heavily hyped slugfest turns into a lame beat up on Coach. Aborting(uh) the Lita pregnancy. HHH is kind funny with his cake incident, but I can't find myself caring for Orton's cause... Benoit/Conway was good. I liked the middle of the show with Legit Raw divas segment and match and Highlight Reel along with the match after.
smark/net attack wienerville advisory is raised to ORANGE alert - High (Benoit lost the title to some punk kid named Orton, lets look at the positive at least it's a heel not named HHH who has the title, which allows two fresh faces battling for the World title.. whaat? excuse me? what happened on Raw! well scratch that... Over to Smackdown we wave at Justin Bradshaws title reign, I think I'm getting sea sick)- 8/22
1) Evolution/Orton/Cake -> Guess the world is back on its axis again, as HHH is the champ. The usual blah, blah, blah HHH interview. We knew it was going to be Orton inside the cake. And HHH just jobbed to a cake. I was waiting for someone to bring in a trophy to bash on someone's head. And...Orton MAIMED DAVE!!!! How could you? Then HHH wants a match while sharing some of the frosting with Bischoff.
2) Benoit/Conway -> OK, typical match.
3) Stacy/Molly -> where should I start? First off, it looks like the members of the Commodores should get a little money for that minute. Then almost every diva comes in and brawls, which ends up in the 6 diva match, said by the messed up Bischoff, which the one diva that is not in wrestling gear gets the pinfall. Typical diva match.
4) Highlight Reel -> Not much to say until, for probably the first time in WWE history, Tomko actually speaks. HA HA...Goat boy. The match -> Nice match, especially after the PPV matches.
5) Seattle Slugfest -> Hey, Vince comes out to plenty of face reaction. That's what you get when you stay out of the spotlight for a while. Wonder what the announcement is going to be, maybe another draft? Who knows. He really was doing the walk to the ring. Pretty cheesy and hilarious. Christy, you're my girl. As for Carmella, if she wins, put her on Smackdown, they really need divas (maybe Playmate vs. Playmate w/Torrie...can't have Torrie/Dawn Marie/Miss Jackie every week in bikini contests).
6) Kane/that Gene guy -> pretty big guy Gene is, at least it wasn't some 220 pounder Kane was up against. Of course, it ends up being chair hits back of Kane Kane, Mr Kane goes down, takes Lita Kane with him, and hysteria happens...which I had to talk to Dad about the Chainsaw Charlie & Cactus Jack vs New Age Outlaws that ended up in the dumpster, dumpster pushed from stage, and the rest of the hour of Raw ends up on that stupid dumpster. We'll see what happens in the coming weeks.
7) Orton vs Evolution -> not much to say.
Others: Simon Dean...just what we need, a recycled gimmick from a decade ago. Sorry, I just joined a health club. I had to react to the phone number, could a 555 number work out? I actually had to tell my dad that this is a new guy coming to the WWE. See what looking around on the internet could do to someone like me.
Got to go, hope to talk over the weekend...if we ever get to watching Smackdown this weekend.
Gift suggestions for the man who has everything: - Leather cleaner that isn't abrasive when used on skin - New weightlifting belt that replaces the phrase `Hulkamania' with `It's Over'. - 'I'm with stupid'-style T-shirt that says `I'm with Mr.