TONIGHT: Cedric The Entertainer hosts the show, live from Little Rock, Arkansas. No matches announced, but it is Lilian Garcia’s last night in WWE. The company hasn’t kept it a secret- they made the announcement on their website. So she may get a send-off of some sort this evening.
-Right to the back they go, as a limo pulls up with music pulsating inside of it. The driver got out and opened the door, when the Bella Twins and Cedric The Entertainer got out. A couple friends got out of the limo after Cedric. Then a coach and a football player got out. And another. Apparently, this is a clown car. A third football player emerged with Cedric giving them some kind of coach-speak. An old lady got out, then a Rabbi with a baby, whom he circumcised as he left the limo. I guess it was a mohel. A farmer and his goat were next to leave. Thankfully, these were the last. Cedric and the Bella Twins walked off as the camera stayed on the now-empty limo.
-Fireworks shot off from inside the arena as Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole hyped up Cedric The Entertainer. DX’s music started playing and Shawn Michaels and Triple H came out at the appropriate time. They seemed to be in good spirits. Oh, it’s a match. During the pre-match mic work, Triple H did the usual. He hyped up Hell in a Cell in a few weeks. Triple H and Shawn noted that Michaels wrestled in, and won, the first ever Hell in a Cell, and that Triple H has won more Cell matches than anyone. They also reminded everyone that Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase have no experience in the Cell. Trips said Cody is going to get a beating tonight, but at HIAC, he’s going to get the beating of his life. Triple H promised the feud would end at the PPV.
(1) Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes DiBiase got on the apron before contact was made between the two, allowing Cody to get the upper-hand. The ref had to get him out of the corner because he was being too aggressive. Cody continued his onslaught, choking Triple H with his boot in the corner. Rhodes missed a shoulder charge and ended up into the steel ring post. Hunter threw him into it a second time. Then a third. Cross-face applied by Hunter, but Cody crawled to the ropes. Rhodes went to ringside, where he faced off with Michaels. DiBiase comforted Rhodes, but Triple H came out and took both men down. Match continues.....
Cody had Hunter in a rest-hold out of break. The Game battled out of it, but Cody hit a swinging neck-breaker for two. Right hands from Rhodes, then some choking of Hunter in the middle rope. Cheap-shot from DiBiase as the ref was busy with Cody. Russian leg sweep from Cody as Hunter tried to fight back. Moonsault by Rhodes and he actually landed it for a near-fall. Michaels got involved, which drew an angry slap from Rhodes. The chase was on, but DiBiase tried to cut Michaels off, to no avail. They threw Michaels into the announce table, then gave him the ol’ Sweet ‘n’ Sour. Unfortunately for Legacy, that gave Trips time to recover, and as he was about to hit Rhodes with the Pedigree in the ring, DiBiase ran in with a chair, nailing Hunter with it twice to draw the DQ.
Winner: Triple H, via DQ, at 9:14. Good match that felt important, even though it was leading off the show.
Rhodes gave Hunter Cross-Rhodes, then DiBiase landed Dream Street on the near-unconscious Triple H. As they put the chair around Triple H’s neck and were going to come off the top onto it, Shawn came to and got a sledgehammer from under the ring, running off the youngsters. They showed a replay of the finish of the match. The two teams stared at each other from afar as the segment came to a close.
-Still to come, the US Title is on the line when Kofi Kingston defends against Jack Swagger.
-Plus, John Cena and Randy Orton are involved in a contract signing for the next PPV.
-But next, Cedric is LIVE!
-Lilian implored the fans to welcome tonight’s guest host, Cedric The Entertainer. Cedric and the Bellas danced on the stage. He promised the show would be “off the chain” tonight. He said people all week have been asking him why he’s going to guest host Raw and he told them he’s a real-deal WWE fan. He told the fans that backstage Big Show drove a prius to the arena, and it took him three minutes to get one leg out of the car. Cedric also touched on second and third generation wrestlers in WWE. He talked about the Ortons’ (though I think he said “Thorton” at first), Rhodes’ and DiBiase’s. They showed Andre the Giant and King Kong Bundy on the screen, with Show being the illegitimate son of them. Then they showed The Kool-Aid Man’s son, Mark Henry. And the son of a jackass himself, The Miz.
Santino Marella came out and called him “Frederick The Entertain-Man.” Cedric intro’d Santino as a stand-up comic, since Marella said he thought he could do it. Santino said he hoped Cedric was wearing a bullet-proof vest....because he’s going to kill. Marella’s first joke wasn’t met with a kind reaction. Cedric interrupted and told viewers that Beyonce had the best video of all-time. He told Santino to stick to the wrestling. Then Chavo interrupted. Cedric said anyone that lets a leprechaun beat him every week is funny. Santino had to clue Cedric in that Chavo wasn’t really letting him win. Chavo said the problem is punk guest-hosts like Cedric put him in no-win situations- he said he was tired of the celebrity guest-host junk. He called it “pathetic.” Cedric made fun of Chavo for getting chopped by Bob Barker. So Chavo challenged Cedric to a match. Chavo’s mic went out so he stole Cedric’s. Cedric said he doesn’t wrestle. Cedric plugged his movie starring Kel Mitchell (from Kenan & Kel!!). Chavo told him not to change the subject. Santino interrupted and said Cedric accepts. Well, if he doesn’t want the match, he doesn’t have to, right? I mean, he’s the guest GM! Cedric said he didn’t want to wear the tight pants. Santino promised to coach him. Well, Cedric showed a lot of energy, I’ll give him that.
-They showed a clip from last Monday, where Miz stole the U.S Title.
-Josh Mathews welcomed The Miz backstage. He had the belt with him. Miz took issue with Mathews saying he “stole” the title. He said he’s only taking what will be his soon. He said he’s the reason people watch Raw. And he said the U.S. Champ should be from America; he didn’t float over in a raft. Kofi attacked from behind and took his title back.
-Tonight, Orton and Cena will sign the contract for their PPV match.
(2) Evan Bourne vs. The Miz Two lock-ups with neither man getting a real advantage. Miz then finally got Bourne in the corner and punched away at him. Bourne flew out with a dropkick though. Miz crotched Bourne on the top rope, though it landed more on his hammy, which looked like it would’ve hurt more. Miz grounded him after a kick to the head of the seated Bourne. Miz put some more boots to Bourne as the announcers went into full plug mode of this Raw. Bourne rolled Miz up out of nowhere, but Miz came back with a unique neck-breaker for two. More work on the neck of Miz. Miz then pounded away at the back of Bourne, then gave him a high knee to the chin with Bourne draped over the apron. Still couldn’t get the pin though. Hard whip into the corner by Miz, then an impactful corner clothesline. To the top he went, only to be crotched by his counterpart. Bourne met him up there and gave him a hurricanrana to the mat. Bourne then went for an Air Bourne, but Miz moved and Evan landed on his feet; Miz then came from behind with the Skull-Crushing Finale for the win.
Winner: Miz, at 5:15. Miz’s offense looked so much better with Bourne selling. Not that it wasn’t good in the first place, but Bourne accentuated it, it seemed.
-Backstage, DiBiase and Rhodes were talking things over when Randy Orton walked in, wanting to talk about tonight. Orton said he originally wanted Legacy out there with him, but since they’re on the cusp of ending DX, he gave them the rest of the night off. “It’s a contract signing. I’ve got this.” It’s next, BTW.
-Cedric The Entertainer faces Chavo Guerrero tonight.
-“Monster” from Skillet is the official theme song for Hell in a Cell.
-Jerry Lawler was in the ring, red carpet was down and chairs and a table were in the ring. That’s a universal sign for wrestling fans to know that there’s a contract sign upcoming. Lawler introduced “former WWE Champion” Randy Orton first. Cena was, obviously, next. Lawler reminded the two that there is a no physicality rule in effect, knowing how these contract signings usually go. Lawler said Orton can face Cena at the PPV, or give up his right for an automatic re-match. Sounds fair. Orton was given the contract first and put his John Hancock on it. Then he slid it over to Cena. He turned to Lawler and told King to get out of the ring. Lawler checked with Cena first, who OK’d it. Orton said Cena may think he has him at his weakest point, but he’d be wrong. Orton stood up and contended that he was more dangerous than he’s ever been, because he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get the title back. Orton said Cena has never been in a HIAC match, while he has- and he knows what it takes to win. Orton promised that Cena would never be the same.
That led to Cena standing up. Cena jokingly said, “I’m sorry, did you say something? I wasn’t really listening.” Cena showed Orton saying “I quit” on a loop on the Titan-Tron. Orton accused Cena of turning things into a joke. Cena said Orton already did that, then made funny faces pretending to imitate Orton. Cena said he’s not scared of Orton. Cena showed Orton how ridiculous his accusations were, pretending to realize he had no chance in the Cell match and feigned giving his title to Orton right there and walking away. Cena reminded Orton that if he loses Sunday, he won’t get any more title shots from him. Cena got serious and said he has looked in Orton’s eyes and knows just what he’s capable of. He said Orton has no idea what HE is capable of. Cena said when they lock the door at the PPV, he will destroy Orton. Orton replied by saying he’d like nothing more than to attack Cena right now, but legally he can’t do it. Orton reminded Cena that his arrogance has caused people to despise him since he came in to WWE, and had no problem finding people to put Cena through hell right now. Big Show and Jericho then came out. Cena was in attack mode as Orton stood on the announce table to have a front-row seat for the action. Show threw the table out of the ring and Cena took the opportunity to attack. But Jericho put him down immediately. MVP and Mark Henry ran to the ring before long (they really shouldn’t make Henry run to the ring) and cleared the squared circle of the heels. Cedric got on the big screen. He said they couldn’t have made this easier for him. He said all six men will compete against each other in a six-man tag. Really liked that segment. Orton seems to really be in a groove with finding his character.
-Alicia Fox was sitting at ringside (looking mighty good, I’d add) for the next match.
(3) Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix Beth threw Mickie down on a lock-up, then went right after her. Slingshot suplex was no good, and Mickie kicked Beth out to the floor. Mickie went to the top and landed on her in a sort of Thesz Press/cross-body maneuver. She went after Fox, but Alicia got out of the way. The Glamazon got the upper hand with Mickie distracted, driving her into the ring post. Back in the ring, Glam Slam, and that’s all.
Winner: Phoenix, at 1:12. Too short. James now looks beatable for Alicia, who doesn’t have much credibility and Beth got a much-needed big win.
After the match, Alicia walked into the ring with the title. When Mickie got to her feet, Fox gave her an axe kick. And she got some HEIGHT on that sucker too. I think too much.
-They hyped Cedric vs. Chavo for later tonight.
-Also, the six-man likely main event. What would Cedric have done for a main event if all six of them hadn’t gotten together in the ring like that?
-But next, Kofi takes on Swagger for the United States title.
(4) Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger- United States Championship Match Swagger went right after Kofi, and worked the arm. Kofi came back with some chops and forerams. Swagger put Kingston on the top rope and Kofi was shrugged off on a DDT attempt. He landed on his feet and Swagger hit a big boot. This isn’t going to last long, I can tell by the pace. Miz ran out and stole the title again. This time, Swagger ran after him and gave him a huge lariat to the back of the head. Swagger then took the title and started walking up the ramp. No bell for the count-out.
Winner: Kofi, by count-out, at about 1:28 (no bell). Again, disappointingly short. And why did Swagger pass up a chance to win the title when he had Kofi right where he wanted him?
-They showed what happened earlier when Cedric arrived at the arena. Like, they replayed A LOT of it. Cedric is next against Chavo.
(5) Chavo Guerrero vs. Cedric The Entertainer Before Cedric came out, Santino was introduced as special guest referee. Cole suggested Cedric’s name be “Cedric The Sports-Entertainer.” Yes, he wore the spandex, as well as a cape and one of Jerry Lawler’s shirts with the crown on it. Cedric put on a mask before the match and wrestled with a top hat. Who does he think he is, Super Calo? They tried to lock up, but Chavo was finding it amusing I guess. Chavo took Cedric’s hat off as the crowd chanted “Cedric.” Chavo dropped the hat and stepped on it. Really old-school comedy here. Cedric is mad. He got pushed around, and Cedric went to ringside. He crawled under the ring. Chavo waited on the other side for him. When he came out, he suddenly gained a ton of muscle. And was taller. Chavo appeared to be joking with him on the outside. But then he slapped him. I’m not sure who that is. But he picked Chavo up over his head and threw him into the ring. Chavo complained to the ref that it’s not Cedric. Not-Cedric caught a boot, then clotheslined Chavo. Big back-body drop. Big splash in the corner. Cedric then hit the ropes and dove outside the ring and under it. Then Hornswoggle, dressed as Cedric, came out and hit the Tadpole Splash. He went back under the ring and presumably, real Cedric came back in and pinned Chavo.
Winner: Cedric, at 4:15. WAY too much thought went into this match. Overbooked to the point that Vince Russo would be proud.
All three men celebrated in the ring by dancing together in costume.
-They once again plugged the six-man match. [Commercial Break]
-Next week’s guest host: Reverend Al Sharpton.
-Cole and Lawler ran down the Hell in a Cell card. Included is a match just added, a triple-threat for the U.S. Title featuring Kofi, Miz and Swagga’.
-Backstage, Cedric was talking to Kelly Kelly. His book and DVD were in the background. I don’t think he’ll have as much success in this area as Jeremy Piven. Chris Jericho came up behind Cedric, but Ced blew him off and said he needed a breat-mint. Then Big Show came up from behind, put his hand on Ced’s shoulder and said they need to talk. Cedric caved in.
-Lawler had the mic at ringside and said that tonight was the final night for Lilian Garcia in WWE. He thanked her for over ten years of service in WWE and called her one of the Divas of the Decade. Lilian, choking up, said that she never knew what kind of adventure this would be. She talked about her most memorable experiences, working two days after September 11th and working overseas in Iraq. She lauded WWE’s crew and the entire company. She also complimented the WWE superstars, the best athletes in the world as she called them. Garcia said the biggest honor has been to entertain the fans. Where’s Eric Bischoff to say this segment has gone on THREE MINUTES too long. Garcia said her heart will always be in the ring. She thanked the fans again.
-Cole plugged the six-man tag that is next.
-The heels were all in the ring out of break. Jericho had the microphone and told Orton that they dislike Cena as much as he does. So they saw Cedric and told him he needed to up the ante. Jericho said if they lose, then next week, Orton has to face Mark Henry, MVP and John Cena in a three-on-one gauntlet match. Orton was, understandably, upset. Show said if they win though, Cena has to face all three of them. John Cena came out first for the face squad, then they went to commercial. Well, hopefully a schmozz to end the show now is out of the question.
(6) Randy Orton & Big Show & Chris Jericho vs. John Cena & MVP & Mark Henry Match started as soon as they came back from break. Jericho cheap-shotted Cena then tagged Orton. Orton was put up for the Attitude Adjustment immediately, but slithered out of it. Jericho attacked Cena from behind to give the bad guys the advantage. Orton kicked Cena in the gut as the crowd chanted for their hero. Cena, that is. Cena fought back, but fell victim to a powerslam. High knee-drop. Show tagged in and headbutted Cena. Forearms in the corner by Jericho to Cena. Running back elbow put the champ on the mat. Cena came back with a bell-to-belly suplex. MVP got the hot tag and nailed Jericho with an overhead throw. He took it to Jericho- both men in the ring were in red, as well as Henry on the apron. “Ballin’!” elbow connected for two as Orton stalked the apron. As MVP went for his finisher and with referee Mike Chioda (called so by Cole) distracted, Show interfered. Show became the legal man and tossed MVP around the ring a bit. Orton came in and led off with a rear chin-lock. Crowd got behind MVP, but his comeback was cut off by Orton. Jericho missed a move and MVP nearly made the tag, but Orton came in first after he tagged in, and stopped it. Orton kicked MVP out of the ring, but as he did so, he tagged Henry. Mizark cleaned house, and Cena got involved by putting Show on his shoulders for an Attitude Adjustment. Orton went up in the arms of Henry, but Jericho took the leg out from under the big man. Orton re-grouped and hit the RKO on Henry for the victory.
Winners: Orton, Show and Jericho, at 8:12. Well, it makes sense to put Cena in jeopardy heading into the PPV.
After a replay of what we just saw, Cena was shown looking at the heels, understanding the challenge that laid in front of him next week.
the look on Nikki when the moyhel did his biz was awesome.Goat humor always works for me so i give the segment a pass, barely. i was hoping Beth/Mickie was really going to rock but Mickie must still be sore from busting her implant. But since i like Beth as a monster I'm not complaining. Alicia i have no use for at all. if i could say one thing tna is doing better than wwe is having 2 sometimes 3 womens matches per show and i would like to see that on raw as well. Chavo does not deserve this and joel mchale agrees. i really hate cena so as much as i hate orton i hope jerishow/thornton strait funk him up next week,
I am sure the ratings will be fine. Raw has a base of 3.6-4.0 fans that will keep watching the show regardless of what is on. I flipped back and forth with this Heroes and Monday Night Football. Raw needs something new after Hell in a Cell to keep it interesting. Even with the guest hosts, the show has been really boring of late. I do think they planted some hints of a heel turn for Cena with his promo, but it probably means the end of Legacy when Cena and DX crush them at the PPV which is fine too. The show needs a shot of freshness, unfortunately, there is no one on the others rosters that could do it either. The show is just stuck until neutral for the time being.
I won't get a chance to watch until much later in the week - who played the "much taller, more muscular" Cedric?
We'll be back right after order has been restored here in the Omni Center.
That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms, I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy - Swift
I don't have the numbers, but I gotta also think that the ratings won't go down quite as much. This is because the football game probably held less national interest for people this week (it wasn't Tom Brady's first game after a year). I know I didn't bother turning back and forth this week.
Raw was okay, with the first segment landing with a thud. Thankfully DX was there to counteract the awfulness of the limo skit. They REALLY have done a great job rehabbing Legacy, to the point that I think people will buy the show this time to see DX get their win back.
"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (myspace.com)
Originally posted by Torchslasher Raw was okay, with the first segment landing with a thud. Thankfully DX was there to counteract the awfulness of the limo skit. They REALLY have done a great job rehabbing Legacy, to the point that I think people will buy the show this time to see DX get their win back.
Technically, they don't need their win back, they won at SummerSlam. I agree that legacy looks much better than they did a few months ago (jobbers), but think of how much better they could look if they actually WON the next match and the feud overall. Not that I think DX will lose, but still. I guess it is debatable if giving the rub is winning 1 out of 3 PPV matches against 2 legends, but it's not the kind of rub that makes new stars, it just makes them mid carders.
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Geez, just had a horrible thought. Will these feuds continue until Survivor Series? I can see them trying to go with Orton, Rhodes, DiBiase, Jericho, and Show versus Cena, HHH, Michaels, Mark Henry, and MVP.
Throw a double cage over that and call it War Games, maybe it'd be interesting. But if they continue feuds just to get a "teams of five strive to survive" situation, it can get really stale.
I just think it's really weird that they spent months totally jobbing out the Legacy, and now they're building them up as a credible threat. Doesn't it usually go the other way around? You spend months building guys up as a threat, and then you job them out to the faces?
Originally posted by geemoney I could totally see Al being booed out of the building if you put him live. And screwing up wrestlers names. But to each his own.
Raw is in Albany, New York next week, just up the road from Sharpton's home area and Albany is one of the most liberal places around. Other than Vermont or Maine, this is probably the most friendliest of places for Sharpton to be.
Who knows, maybe in a month, we can get Rush Limbaugh to guest host Raw.
Originally posted by shawnpatrick Sharpton will be a high profile guest next week as long as they have him live and not do a ZZ top with everything pre-corded in the back.
I could totally see Al being booed out of the building if you put him live. And screwing up wrestlers names. But to each his own.
Perhaps they could give the good Reverend an assistant in order to make sure he doesn't screw up the names of wrestlers (of course, that didn't stop Garcia for a decade). My suggestion: The Honky Tonk Man. At the very least, it gives the good Reverend and opportunity to call someone a Honky without getting in trouble.
Aww. When you get down on Lance, it makes me cry. I'm a big fan of Lance. Lance needs a name for his fans. Test had the Testicles. Edge had the Edge-heads. The Rock had the millions, AND MILLIONS.... What do we Lance Storm fans call ourselves?