Well, despite a nasty headache which has gotten a little bit better but still feels like hell, I’m here to provide a little RAW recap for my peeps, because that’s how I roll. And no, I still can’t get Christian’s cool theme song out of my head, why do you ask?
RAW comes to you live from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and that means that Kurt Angle’s gonna try and get his gold medal back tonight. We’ll also have a meeting of the minds between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, which will probably be the only really entertaining part of RAW. John Cena will no doubt continue to run roughshod and make Chris Jericho look like a complete bitch, and Matt Hardy will again make our brains hurt by telling us which WWE storylines are fake and which ones are “honest to God, I swear it’s real”. There’s your recap right there, good night folks!
Anyway, given what I just said, you know I’m not a shill for WWE, but if you’re a wrestling fan and you don’t have Match Jukebox, you owe it to yourself to get it. You’ll never feel so good about spending $40 for an annual subscription. There are still some important matches that are missing, and I’m not pleased that they very rarely have the wrestler entrances for WCW matches, but it’s getting better all the time.
The following takes place between 9:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m. on the day of the California presidential primary. Events occur in real time.
We start with the rapid-fire explanation of how stealing WWE programming is bad, m’kay? And Let Us Take You Back to last week, in which Chad Patton screws up Eric Bischoff’s plan to get Carlito the WWE Championship. I did like Jericho’s plan from last week, though. “I’ve got a plan—know how fast I can count?” Hee. So of course they didn’t show that during the recap.
A word to Jericho—don’t try the same thing two weeks in a row. You could’ve done a million different moves other than the Bulldog. Just telegraph it, why don’t you? Oh, well. They’re trying so hard to make people boo Jericho, but it ain’t working, I don’t think. Or at least I’m not booing Jericho.
Forget the lies, the money, we’re in this together…
BOOM! Pyro, and we come to you live from Pittsburgh, PA, future home of Sidney Crosby. Tonight Hogan and Michaels entertain us. And we start out with Eugene and Christy Hemme, whose name I couldn’t think of until three-quarters of the way through the show for some reason. Eugene’s wearing a Hulkamania T-shirt, how cute. “Hulk Hogan is here! And he—he’s my friend! He—he’s my hero! He—he’s saying prayers, and he’s eating vitamins, and he has 24-inch pythons!” “That’s right Eugene, we all love Hulk. But right now it’s time for your second-ever Eugene Invitational right here in Pittsburgh!” Christy gets halfway through a cheerleader’s chant for Eugene’s name before Kurt’s music plays, and he’s got a new T-shirt and an extremely intense look on his face. I wonder how Eugene’s gonna survive this one, let alone win. Remember that he has to beat Angle, Angle doesn’t have to beat him.
Kurt: “All right Eugene, enough’s enough!” They’re giving it to Kurt with Angle chants. “Enough’s enough, Eugene. I’m tired of this Eugene Invitational crap. Do you know where you are? Do you know where you are? You’re in my hometown, baby! I’m the hometown hero here—this is Kurt Angle’s city, Pittsburgh, PA! Don’t look at me like that! Don’t look at me like that! These people don’t look at Hulk Hogan as a hero because they already have one.” Angle’s getting a TREMENDOUS pop—he’s the face here! “But I’ve got an Olympic gold medal! I’m a gold medalist!” Eugene’s getting booed, holy shit! “Eugene, no you’re not.” “Yes, I am.” “No you’re not!” “Yes, I am.” “No you’re not!” “Yes, I am.” “No you’re not!” “Yes!” “No! “Yes!” “No!” “Yes!” Tonight the part of “The Zodiac” Ed Leslie is being played by Kurt Angle and Eugene in a dual role. They go back and forth with this before Kurt says, “Shut up! You’re an idiot! You know that gold medal you’re holding? You don’t even know what it stands for. I wrestled 20 years to win that medal with a broken freakin’ neck, you think it’s a freakin’ toy!” He says he’s gonna win the medal back and break his damn ankle. “You said a bad word!” Kick by Kurt, the bell rings, and he pulls off Eugene’s T-shirt. Kurt punches Eugene and throws the referee off him. Out of the corner, backbreaker, two-count. Eugene with a headbutt, backing Kurt into the corner, collar-and-elbow tie-up, and Eugene chops the referee, who looks stunned—and the referee thinks Angle did it! Eugene with a drop toe hold and he rides Angle with a spanking, but Kurt clotheslines him and begins punching. Picked up, back suplex, one, two, kickout. Kurt picks him up by the hair, and makes the mistake of smashing Eugene’s face into the turnbuckle—jackass, don’t you watch his matches? Eugene hulks upbut Kurt ducks the right hand, German Suplex, straps come down, Olympic Slam blocked, and the referee’s knocked down when Eugene whips Kurt into him—DQ! Angle’s pissed, and he hits the Olympic Slam, but here comes Hulk Hogan!
Hogan’s coming after Angle, and Angle’s ready for him. Immediately Kurt starts kicking him, but Hogan points , punches, whips into the ropes, but Angle ducks the hell out of the ring and here comes the shirt rip. I’m not sure this was the right thing to do in this situation, since Kurt was getting a tremendous face pop from this Pittsburgh crowd. Hulk and Eugene do the “kiss my ass” gesture to Kurt, and then they start with the posing. Okay. But I don’t think they anticipated that Kurt would be as well-received in his hometown as he was here. They were leaning on everything he did.
Too bad most of you don’t live in Virginia Beach, so I can’t explain the absolute stupidity of the Tire House and Rims commercials here.
Tonight’s WWE Rewind is brought to you by another movie I could care less about. Let Us Help Improve Ekedolphin’s Mood (not!) by reminding everyone that Shelton lost to Chris Fuckin’ Masters two weeks ago.
And here’s Shelton. Remember when his performance at WrestleMania 21 was thought of as being a breakthrough moment? What the hell was Masters doing at the time? JR: “You two are way too infatuated with this man [Masters].” Yeah. I suppose Goldberg’s pyrotechnic display had to go somewhere. Bell rings, and they circle each other. Tie-up, Shelton thrown into the corner, ducks a clothesline, punches interrupted by a knee, resthold, leg takedown by Shelton and more punches, a leap by Shelton reversed into a bodyslam, and more kicky-punchy by Masters, joy. Slam, kick, and bless Shelton for overselling for this hack. Bearhug two minutes in, and Shelton elbows his way out of it. Shelton into the ropes but gets slammed, Masters goes for the Masterlock but Shelton reverses into a rollup before Masters can get anywhere close. More kicky punchy, Shelton into the ropes and clotheslines, dropkick to the knee, running knee to the head. Masters into the corner, and Shelton with the Stinger Splash. Shelton up to the top rope now, and connects with a flying clothesline, one, two, but Masters got his foot on the rope. Shelton goes for the T-bone, Masters reverses, low-blow, and now the Masterlock. GODDAMMIT, Shelton jobbed again to this fuckin’ hack. FUCK THAT. A year’s worth of work building up Shelton, and WWE’s flushing it down the drain. This is the same guy who had the longest Intercontinental Title reign in 10 years, even longer than Randy Orton’s. The same guy who beat Chris Jericho on multiple occasions (like that’s much of an accomplishment anymore), and the guy who stole the show at WrestleMania. And he’s jobbing to this douchebag. Do me a favor and release Shelton so he can go to TNA, because you guys are fucking up one of my favorite wrestlers.
Tod wants to know why Kurt’s smiling. It’s because Kurt’s Got a Friend in Bischoff, who’s signed a match with Eugene for the gold medal at SummerSlam. No time limit in this one, meaning, as Kurt says, he can do whatever he wants. If that’s true, Kurt, do me a favor and erase the previous match from existence—please?
Back from commercial, we see the Superkick Heard Round the World, which I totally missed live because I was typing my final RAW thoughts on the computer. Never saw that coming. Saw it coming eventually, but not at that time.
Buff Bagwell—I mean Rob Conway—is interviewed by Maria before his match with Viscera, and I’m not transcribing this crap. Viscera threatens to give Conway some Visagra. Um, okay.
Let Us Take You Back to Last Week, when Matt Hardy was re-hired. Lita, who’s still alive, apparently, and Edge are gonna have some words for us later tonight. How did she escape the ride on the Highway to Hell? HOW?!
Jim Ross asks Edge what he thinks about Matt Hardy being rehired, and Edge cuts a *really* intense promo, and makes a LOT of good points. He says that *he* requested that Vince re-hire Matt, and that Matt’s riding his main-event coattails. “I earned my main-event stripes! While you were running around defending the Cruiserweight Championship, riding around with your little MF’ers, I was fighting Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Triple H, Shawn Michaels,” etc. “And why are you here? Because your girlfriend fell in love with a main-eventer.” He said, in contrast to Hardy’s comments from last week, that he hopes Matt is 100% for SummerSlam—because he wants to prove that as a wrestler and as a man, Matt doesn’t measure up to him. Dammit, I wish I had TiVo, or could type faster so I could transcribe that. Sorry! But I guess I could sum up this segment in one sentence—Edge can sure cut one hell of an intense fuckin’ promo. And I daresay Hardy/Edge is going to be the second-most-anticipated match at SummerSlam for many people, behind Hogan/Michaels. For me, it’s above Hogan/Michaels—but I’m an MF’er.
Eric Bischoff’s the guest on the Highlight Reel, oh, joy. I thought the point of the Highlight Reel was that Jericho attacked his guests? Oh, well.
Buff Bagwell—I mean Rob Conway—comes out to some strange jazzy music, and I give Rob full points for trying very hard to make this crappy gimmick work. But it doesn’t help that he’s getting equally crappy competition. And now Viscera comes out, and we have ourselves a Heat main event!
Viscera immediately starts beating the crap out of Conway, and JR calls Vis the Barry White of WWE. OK. Conway injures Viscera’s knee, and Conway smells blood, beginning a shit-beating of that knee that would make Ric Flair proud. At least until Vis decides to stop selling it, and now he goes for a rear naked choke, but Conway says hell no, bitch. Conway to the top, flying axehandle blocked, but Conway falls on top of a slam—Viscera’s knee gave way—and gets the three-count! Good for him, about time Viscera lost a fucking match.
Oh, yay, we get a world premiere of John Cena’s new music video! This is time that could be better spent doing, you know, just about anything else. I wonder if they’re gonna try CM Punk’s debut again? You know, he’s drug-free, alcohol-free, and better than you. He’s also an upper-midcarder in my EWR save file, as he and Colt Cabana are going to soon feud with The SAT for the World Tag Team Title.
Oh, yay, Tire House and Rims commercial #2! “This is driving me CRAZY!!” It’s driving me crazy, actually. And I don’t have any wish to spend $800 on spinning gold hubcaps when I could be spending it on, you know, rent.
Last night on Heat, Victoria beat the hell out of Stacey Kiebler, but briefly. I actually saw Heat, believe it or not.
Six-man tag-team match: Super Stacey (only she’s not called Super Stacey right now), Hurricane and Rosey take on, I assume, The Heart Throbs and Victoria? Um, OK. Romeo and Antonio are apparently Victoria’s new sex slaves. But I’ve got my eyes set on that position. Antonio and Hurricane start off, whip, slam, two-count, Antonio gets him into the ropes and Victoria chokes Hurricane, Romeo clotheslines him, good heel tag-team work. Back into the corner, and Romeo tagged in. Double Russian leg sweep, nice… one, two, kickout. Into the ropes, elbow, two-count. False comeback by Hurricane cut short, tag, double-team dropkick dodged by Hurricane and he makes the tag to Rosey, now wearing blue and orange again after wearing green last week. He slams ‘em all over the place, Antonio tries to sunset flip, but Rosey… uh-uh. Stacey distracts the Heart Throbs with her ass, and the tag-team champions slam them out of the ring. Victoria slams Stacey into the barricade, Rosey splashes Victoria, and a double-team Meltdown by the Heart Throbs gets three on Rosey. Huh. Is that their first win on RAW? Stacey’s in a bad way after getting hit by one move, yeah—and she’s supposed to be an actual dangerous opponent for Victoria? I don’t think so.
Chris Jericho is WALKING, and I figure it’s OK to borrow some of Zed’s stuff if he’s not using it. He’s coming out next for what should be an interesting Highlight Reel.
Back from commercial, they show Hogan’s interview on Larry King Live. “I think he wants that upper tier that he never quite achieved.” Oh, fuck you, Hogan, you’re an idiot.
“Welcome to RAW is Jericho! And this is the Highlight Reel! Let me get straight to the point tonight because it is so apropo that one of the greatest entertainers in RAW history—moi—has not only the greatest general manager in RAW history, but the greatest general manager in the history of sports entertainment.” He talks about how buddy-buddy he is with Bischoff, and JR’s quick to point out that despite his success on RAW, Bischoff ran WCW into the ground. That’s not entirely fair. Jericho does some more kissing up, and wants to shake Eric’s hand some more. Bischoff hopes that all the fans watching really enjoy Cena’s new music video, oh? Ah, because after SummerSlam, when Y2J becomes the new WWE Champion, the only thing Cena’s gonna have in his life is his alleged music career. “Cena is one lucky man—he’s lucky that he’s not medically cleared to be in this building tonight, because after the beating he took last week, this week would be even worse.” Jericho wants to take it another step—Jericho has also created a music video, and the Obscenely Expensive Jeritron 5000 shows the clip played by the Monkeys in the Back.
Good clip, I think, and not a bad rock song. “To Kill a Stranger” by Fozzy. Good clip. “It’s got MTV Music Award written all over it, huh?” Bischoff calls out referee Chad Patton, who counted Carlito down last week, and we’re gonna see an Outsiders/Steiners moment here, I bet. If he comes down here next week with his wife and kids, I’m gonna call rip-off. “Who was the referee last week?” “Chris Jericho.” “That’s a good answer. Then what in the hell were you doing here?!” Jericho and Bischoff are pissed at him, and Bischoff punches Patton right in the face. Patton looks like he wants to retaliate, but Jericho gets in front of Bischoff, and Bischoff slaps him several more times. “I’ll tell you what, Chad—I want an apology out of you.” “I’m sorry.” “No, I want to hear an APOLOGY!” “I’m sorry!” “You’re sorry.” More slaps. “Not quite good enough. I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to be punished! I want to make an example out of you! And tonight you are going to be facing Chris Jericho, the future WWE Champion, in a very competitive match right here In This Very Ring!” And he gives him just enough time to get the ring cleared and it’s happening next. If they job Jericho to fuckin’ Chad Patton, the next sound you hear will be my sanity snapping.
We are One Kingdom Under Chicken Fries, apparently. And it’s probably a bad idea to tow an anchor with your car.
We come back and the bell rings. Bischoff’s the ref? Patton tackles Jericho into the corner, but that doesn’t last long. Jericho beat shim down, picks him up and punches his head. He drags him around by his shirt, and continues punching him in his head. Wow, this is strange. The shirt comes off, and Jericho chokes him with it. Bischoff’s making strange gestures and acting like he doesn’t see it, ha! Carlito’s coming out—why, I wonder? Carlito chant going. Jericho picks Patton up, ties him in the ropes, and the hard knife-edge chop. Again. Jericho throws him over the top rope, and—ah—now Carlito’s having fun with Patton. I wonder if this will result in another referee strike angle? Carlito rolls him back into the ropes, spinebuster, Walls of Jericho, Patton taps, but Bischoff isn’t ringing the bell, hee! Now he does, and Y2J keeps the hold on while Bischoff slaps him some more. And now Cena’s out here to clean house, despite the fact that we JUST SAID he’s not here tonight. Cena spends most of his time beating the hell out of Carlito, including the F-U, because Jericho’s enough of a veteran to get the hell out of the ring immediately. And now let’s get the Wheel of Fortune belt spinning!
So, the Intercontinental Title is again no longer worth much, with Carlito becoming Cena’s weekly rag doll, while the guy he won the title from is getting beaten by a guy who has no business beating him. Great.
Back from the break, and Bischoff and Jericho are PISSED~! Next week, Bischoff books Cena vs. Jericho and Carlito in a handicap match. And I knew he was gonna do that before he said that.
It’s time for the 2005 Diva Search to continue, and MUTE! I wonder what other wrestlers I should sign for my EWR save game. Hee, there’s a guy named Devin Nash who looks just like Kevin Nash, only even less talented, believe it or not. I think I’ll put him in my development territory just for shits and giggles.
The 15 Minutes of Crap segment ends up being only five minutes long, and we see the Larry King spoof from last week. Damn, they’re putting the full-court press on this thing tonight, aren’t they? That was a funny segment, by the way. HBK’s carrying Hogan through this angle, just like he’s gonna carry him at SummerSlam.
Back from commercial, and what have we got left? A music video and the Hogan/Michaels staredown? Oh—here comes Matt Hardy, OK! And he’s dressed to wrestle? Sweet. Matt’s getting a tremendous pop, about bloody time. I wish they could’ve gotten him this over without this whole Edge/Lita thing, though—although who’s to say any of it’s actually real? I wonder if the whole truth of that will ever be known. And, oh, boy—Gene Snitsky’s his opponent. Interesting. Hardy’s got a very intense expression on his face, and Hrdy begins with the punches, ducks a clothesline, spinning punch, knees, kick to the face takes Snitsky down. Hardy’s pounding on Snitsky, Snitsky pushes off, Hardy into the ropes but he gets spinebustered. Snitsky kicks, lifts Hardy, gets him into the corner and begins kicking. Snitsky distracted by the ref, Hardy with a kick, but Snitsky whips him into the corner and hits a clothesline. Snitsky picks him up, sets him up for a vertical suplex, and nails it. Pins—one, two, Hardy kicks out. Snitsky has some words for the ref, but now he chokes Hardy in the ropes… Hardy elbows Snitsky in the head, but Snitsky remains in control, hitting a slam, taunting the crowd, off the ropes, elbow drop missed! Hardy with the punches, but gets kneed in the head… whipped into the corner, shoulder block misses, clothesline, two-count. I want to see the Side Effect! Hardy with punches, picks him up, spinning neckbreaker reversed into a sidewalk slam for two. Meltdown attempt reversed into a kick, Twist of Fate misses, Snitsky gets hung up on the top rope, Super Twist of Fate gets a three-count! And immediately Edge begins punching Hardy, but he’s held back by multiple officials and escorted out of the ring. Not a bad return match for Hardy, though I would have held off on a return match until SummerSlam. No Side Effect here, but Snitsky’s a pretty big fuckin’ guy, so…
The alleged main event for the RAW on 8/22 in Hampton is John Cena and The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle and Shawn Michaels. Take that for what you will. No doubt they’ll have changed the actual main event a million times before we get there.
Wow, Edge really did come out of nowhere—I didn’t see him come down the aisle to attack Hardy, even when I was looking for it on the replay.
Hardy’s being helped by the cops, and they pass Edge’s locker room and Hardy’s like “Screw it!” and goes right after him. They’re separated after only a few seconds, with both of them hurling threats at each other. Coach makes an interesting point: “I doubt they’ll even make it to SummerSlam the rate they’re going.” And now JR sucks John Cena’s dick before the music video plays.
Good instrumentation on this thing anyway, which makes me think it was probably ripped off from someone. But I’m not a rap fan, and knowing that Cena’s hip-hop lifestyle only started when he first started the angle in WWE doesn’t allow the thing to ring true, quite frankly. Interesting seeing Cena’s brother, though. And the home videos are pretty neat, but I didn’t see Dude Love jumping off some old lady’s roof, unfortunately.
The crowd responds to the music video with mostly boos, although there are some cheers—that ought to be telling. HBK is now WALKING, and we’ve got that next. Hey, I guess that means Matt Hardy had the main event tonight, sweet! (Of course, so did Gene Snitsky, so…)
Oh, yay, we’ve got a couple of Debate Podiums set up in the ring, and King’s in the middle… I’m having bad Scott Steiner/Chris Nowinski flashbacks.
Whoa, Angle and Hogan are gonna get it on next week, there’s your main event! No way either man is jobbing, though. Or maybe this is Hogan’s way of finally getting his win back.
Lawler introduces Michaels, and he’s bringing the babyface posing complete with the heel facial mannerisms in the way that only HBK can do. OK, how does a Michaels win over Hogan cement HBK’s place as the greatest in-ring performer of all-time? Wouldn’t a win over Benoit or Angle do that more accurately? Hogan comes down next, sans sunglasses, and HBK’s subtle facial expressions here are great. HBK stands at the podium, and Hogan stands right in his face. Lawler finally gets Hogan at his own podium, and there’s a tremendous Hogan chant going.
Michaels makes a great backhanded compliment, “thanking” Hogan for taking time out of his busy media schedule and actually showing up and gracing us with his presence. Hee! Lawler’s first question is to HBK, and he’s talking about the upper tier comment. HBK asks if we think he’s jealous, but he wants to make one thing crystal clear—there is absolutely nothing about Hogan or his life that he desires. OOOH, BURN! “As far as I’m concerned, in this ring, you can’t touch me!” MAN! “Hulk Hogan is NOT one of my peers. You, Hulk Hogan, have built a career on personality and show. I want you to look me in the eyes and understand this Hulk Hogan! At SummerSlam, all the personality and all the show in the world is not going to amount to a hill of beans when you face the Showstopper!” I am so loving HBK right now. Next question is to Hogan: he wants to know about Hogan’s reaction to the Larry King spoof and other imitations. But HBK answers—“For the first time in his illustrious career, Hulk Hogan is gonna have to deal with the truth. For the first time in your career, you’re dealing with somebody that doesn’t sweat you. Not out here, not back there, not anywhere. I’m gonna be the first guy that is not gonna buckle underneath the image of Hulk Hogan and Hulkamania. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, what are they gonna do, fire me? You know how many times I’ve been fired from this place? Guess what, they always bring me back, and you know why? Because this huge machine that is the WWE does not exist without the Showstopper!” Lawler wants Hogan to answer. “There is no question,” Michaels interrupts. “Look at me—look at me, legend. I’m not ticklin’ the ivories with you old man. I am the most real thing on TV today. And don’t you forget it. At SummerSlam, I’m gonna kick your teeth down your throat. I don’t care if I have to leave the arena, go to your hotel room, grab your false teeth out of that glass jar—” “LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING BROTHER! You have taken this to another level, dude. If you wanted a match with me, all you had to do was ask. But, oh, yeah, I forgot, you cheapshotted me. But that is your MO, Michaels, the king of cheapshots.” And he mentions Bret Hart’s name, and dammit, I couldn’t type fast enough. “Now that we know what you’re all about, lemme lay this out plain and simple for you… everything you do is for you.” He brings up the “losing his smile” thing. “For better or worse, I’m here for each and everyone of these Hulkamaniacs, brother! And Hulk Hogan isn’t gonna change, dude!” He tries to give the ‘Maniacs everything they want, and if they want him to kick HBK’s ass, that’s what he’s gonna do. “I guess we’re at the crossroads where we ask the question,” and he asks the question. “What are you gonna do?” In response, HBK slowly comes out from behind the podium, and superkicks Lawler, and now HBK stomps Hogan, but Hogan Hulks up. Punches, Michaels gets knocked down, big boot, and HBK is thrown out of the ring! Hogan finally gets one up on HBK, and this is just gonna make Michaels even more crazy, I think.
They probably shouldn’t have shown the replay of the Big Boot, though—I don’t think it connected.
DASCOOL: The Hogan/Michaels segment, everything involving Matt Hardy and Edge, and more fun with Eugene and Angle.
YOU SUCK: Masters beats Benjamin again, dammit all to hell.
WHAT?!: The Heart Throbs win? Huh.
(edited by ekedolphin on 8.8.05 2310) “Great. He spends skill points on Perform (Kazoo), and now I have to make a Knowledge (Limits of My Own Sanity) skill check." --Roy Greenhilt, The Order of the Stick
Four-Time Wiener of the Day (5/27/02; 7/3/02; 7/30/04; 8/28/04)
The Only Five-Time (and Last) N.E.W. World Heavyweight Champion
Certified RFMC Member-- Ask To See My Credentials!
The tag champs finally appear on RAW, and it is in an intergender match? Just throw the belts in the same trash can the WCW TV Title is currently residing in. Would it kill them to let Chavo wrestle. Watching the opening of MNF, I'm more convinced than ever that Waldorf and Stadler should be doing the RAW booth. Shelton Benjamin must have pissed someone off. He can't talk, so give him a manager. Problem solved. Did the crowd shit all over Eugene or what. Matt Hardy when he doesn't speak: Over. Matt Hardy when he speaks: cure for insomnia. Not speaking might be the best way for him to stay over. RAW in Montreal next week and Hogan had to mention that name. Lord, I don't ask for much in life. But, please don't let him appear.
HBK/Hogan just blew everything else on the show away. Good ol HBK, cutting a show stopping promo and selling like a mad man. Brilliant.
Matt/Edge stuff was ok, Matt shouldnt have had a match before the PPV, and having Jim ''I forgot what his finisher is called'' Ross calling it didn't help. And it felt weird when its like ''Oh Edge attacking Matt looks real'' and then Cena attacking Jericho while kindly waiting until the ref was soundly trahsed looks like a work.
I pick Ashley to win the Diva search because her reatcion to the pie was more realistic then the others.
I think we all know how the Masters push will end up. Stays undefeated, gets beat by an established star and falls off the face of the earth. At least we hope.
Originally posted by The Urban DictionaryTo play the piano.
When you 'tickle' something, you touch it lightly. 'Ivories' refers to the white keys on the piano, which used to be made from ivory.
Uncle George tickled the ivories all night long.
I don't get it.
This is the second week I thought I heard Jericho calling Cena "Young Em-Cena." If so, I like it.
Re: Cena...was that some negative reaction after the video or what?
I actually like all of the Diva Search finalists. Ashley's the hottest, but she's too gimmicky. But none of them handled themselves well after the pie to the face.
So, Lillian's completely over Viscera now? I wasn't expecting her to announce him as "VIScera" so soon, just as if he was any other wrestler. I was expecting a little bit more of viscera.
I loved the Jericho-Patton match. I got hooked on the angle and was pretty happy to Cena. Though it might have actually been effective to show Cena arriving to the arena in his rental car post-match. I was left questioning why it took him so long to make the save.
I called that diva chick's number (its a verizon landline somehwere in Long Island, NY) and you get a voicemail message for some dude named Austin. I wonder if that chick gave that number out to get revenege on a ex boyfriend or something.
Originally posted by MayhemLoved the Angle/Eugene exchange. I was waiting for Angle to rip on his Pittsburgh-ians to get a heel response.
And he tried - he called the crowd "a bunch of blue-collar idiots" towards the end - but he should know damn well by now getting boos in this town is a lost cause. We're like Canada, except only for one guy.
"That's my problem - I'm too frank. That's why my mother shoved me down the stairs. But then she is fat."
Last week's uncomfortable dose of reality: Matt mentioning that the Kane/Lita marriage was just on TV. This week's uncomfortable dose of reality: Edge burying (even further) the Cruiserweight title.
I have to admit Elisabeth does well in the Emma Peel headband look. Black leather catsuit, stat.
Last week, I was expressing some skepticism that Matt could express his new "enraged loner" gimmick through ringwork, but I have to admit he looked good against Snitsky. At least until Snitsky took over offense, at which point he just looked like your generic cruiserweight squash victim.
Victoria, if you're going to swipe from MNM's entrance, at least do the splits too.
Ling-Ling into battle go Fulfill destiny of the soul Sever skull of adversary Shove it in the poo-poo hole
All the children sing: Kill kill kill kill die die die Kill kill kill kill die die die....
The first segment was fine; I'm continually amazed at Nick Dinsmore's performance as Eugene. I hope the announcement for the match at SS doesn't mean we won't get a Eugene Invitational Next Week....I just don't understand Shelton jobbing clean to Masters. Of course, I'm one that hates the heel always getting the tainted victory, so I should be happy this ended with a (relatively) clean finish. But I'm not....
The Edge promo was kind of creepy. It also appears someone read Wade Keller's "end notes" in the Torch this past week....Vis/Conway I could've done without....The six-person tag match shows just what a joke the Tag Division is....Bischoff lambasting Patton on the Highlight Reel reminded me of him firing Randy Anderson in WCW. I was just hoping Patton would come back with his kids next week, and Bisch would say, "tell your daddy he's still fired"....Good to see Jericho stays unbeaten against referees....
I could see all 3 DivaSearch finalists getting hired. And I don't think I'd complain TOO loudly. You know how the TE kids had to face Angle on S'Down? The Divas should have to face Nicole Bass....Hardy/Snitsky was fine, and I liked the Edge run-in. I told my friend how Matt being introduced by Vince last week and shaking his hand wasn't very anti-establishment. My friend suggested that Matt announced he had dog doo on his hand on the shake. DOG DOO=RATINGS....The ME interview was fine, and actually gives me hope for the SS match between the two.
(edited by geemoney on 9.8.05 0011) College, Sports and More!: Experience It
Once again we get great promos and crappy wrestling. Yet I still walk away from RAW relatively happy.
Raged, raged against the dying light that is Shelton jobbing to Masters AGAIN!!!!!!
MFv2 looked as good as one would expect against Shnitsky. I noticed MHv2 was much more carefull in his beatdowns of Edge then vice versa. Jerk. But they looked much better this week then previously, I must say.
HBK is not 1994 cocky asshole jerkface wondershawn but I am happy with DX smartass Shawn. It beats the hell out of "I died for your sins" Shawn. Wonder how the match will be at SS... I'm guessing painfull for me, as I watch the icon for all I have ever hated about wrestling get put over by/carried/go over? the guy who got me hooked on the stuff for almost 15+ years. Not looking forward to that, but the promos I get to hear almost make it worth it. Keep on preaching the good word, brotha Shawn!
Didn't Jericho use that song the last time we heard from Fozzy on Raw?
I don't quite know how they're getting Edge and Hardy to work together to pull this thing off, but Edge had what appeared to be a mix of storyline and reality in his promo that would make Shawn Michaels proud. Hardy should study it. I'm much more excited about that match than I was a week ago.
Maria continues to impress in her limited role.
I'm never excited about debates to hype a match because it just seems so silly, but Michaels is doing some great work. Hogan, God love him, cut some of the best pre-taped interview segments that I've ever seen, but head-to-head mic work just doesn't appear to be his thing, or, at least, not any more.
I really enjoyed the opening segment. The fans crapping all over Eugene was awesome. SummerSlam is looks like it's going to be a really good show. I cant really get into Benjamin. The match he had with Shawn a ways back was cool, and he's pretty athletic and everything, but he has like zero charisma. Edge gave probably the best promo I've ever seen him do. If I was Coach I'd slap that bitch right back. Carlito is gonna be a great face when he finally turns. The fans want him, reminds a little of the Rock before he turned (I'm probably alone in thought as well). Finally, Michales did a great in ring promo, but no matter what he says, the majority will always side with Hogan. Can't wait for Montreal next week.
For the first time, possibly ever, I wasn't too bothered by the diva search segment. Ashley seems to have a certain spunkiness that got Christy hired last year. And if what JR said earlier in the contest about her family having a history in wrestling, then I'm all for her being hired.
Was expecting Angle to turn on the fans at any time. With that said, it was such an out-of-the-blue comment that I'm wondering if Angle just did it on the spot since the "Eugene sucks" chants were brewing up.
Decided not to watch Masters' match yet again. Didn't mind him when he first debuted, but with the number of times I've already seen his gimmick, he got stale fast. Lawler and Coach whispering, "Shhh JR," "Oh sorry, King my fault," "Tisk, tisk, when are you going to learn JR," during the entrance are getting rather annoying as well...
Originally posted by Juggalo101 Was expecting Angle to turn on the fans at any time. With that said, it was such an out-of-the-blue comment that I'm wondering if Angle just did it on the spot since the "Eugene sucks" chants were brewing up.
Once Angle got in the ring, I just kept waiting and waiting for him to just tear into the Pittsburgh fans as the pro-Angle cheering and the anti-Eugene booing went on and on and on. I was beginning to think that maybe the writers were turning Angle face when he seemed to almost be trying to pander more cheers from the crowd when he declared himself "Pittsburgh's hero". Finially he barked out what seemed to be a desperate and unscripted off-the-cuff remark at the fans to try to get heel heat.
I can't believe that the bookers didn't realize that there was a chance that Kurt might actually get cheered in his hometown......and I can't believe that they didn't play it safe and cover their asses by having Kurt do a very wicked anti-Pittsburgh promo before he came out.
They might as well just had sent Kurt out in front of the Pittsburgh crowd wearing a Ben Roethlisberger jersey.
"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong !!!" - Stifler, American Wedding
"And don't you forget it, and you're next!" Man, something about that was just kind of, awesome.
I have nothing against Hogan, but I have to say there's a bit of irony in Michaels' promo work carrying most of this feud...considering that it seems Hogan has more often received praise for his mic ability in comparison. To his credit, Hogan did try this week, but there's the little fact that Michaels was out for 4 years and not 7, and that the 'smile' incident came a year before his hiatus, which gives Michaels the edge once again. :/
I've enjoyed the gradual reverting toward the ways of old-school HBK. I mean, having never even had a problem with 'new-school' HBK(being the annoyingly loyal mark that I am), I've been pleasantly surprised by how much more enjoyable he's gotten. Gotta love those random superkicks to bystanders as well.
And speaking of promos, Edge cuts what people believe is his best one in years and I manage to miss it. Since he's another guy I think is a bit underrated on the stick, at least with regards to serious promos, I know I missed something special when others are actually giving him his due.
Did the bookers actually expect that Eugene would get a positive response against Angle tonight? I liked Eugene last year but I honestly think they need to call it a run. It won't be long before the majority turns against him(they were starting to last year), and Dinsmore is too talented to deserve to be saddled with this situation. He's like a modern Matt Borne..except for the fact that heel Doink was much more awesome than Eugene ever was. He's gotten to be more like Face Doink.
WHAT WORKED: I liked the Naturals vs. Bentley/Kazarian match. I don’t really get the whole Franchise as tough taskmaster gimmick. Is getting slapped around by a coach supposed to help get the crowd behind the Naturals as faces?