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The W - Pro Wrestling - Raw 8-30-04
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ScreamingHeadGuy
Frankfurter








Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 684 days
Last activity: 684 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41
FOOTAGE! of Orton's spit, retreat, and HHH's ensuing raving.

I guess it's time for Raw (so sayeth all the clocks in my apartment, give or take a minute), live from San Fransisco, CA...and a Fashion Report, too!

Evolution, HHH, in black iron-cross hairy skull tshirt and black iron-cross undies, Batista, in burgundy "Batista" undies with black crotch flame, and Flair, in black Evolution tshirt and black "RF" undies. HHH explains the mission statement of Evolution. HHH then goes off about Orton betrayed him. Orton's music plays and he, in sandy yellow suit and white shirt (top two buttons undone), the Heavyweight Title on his shoulder, comes onto the stage. Randy has photographic evidence (poster-sized) showing that he can be a smarmy, cocky...semi-face. Orton strips for action, and brings Mjolnir with him to even the odds (what a swerve!). Randy wiffs, going 0-for-3, but it's enough to drive-off Evolution. Play Randy's music.

In the back, Bischoff, in grey suit and black shirt, confronts Randy, ringed by Rent-a-Cops. Eric then has the rent-a-cops escort Orton, but not before confiscating mighty Mjolnir (which Randy drops on Bisch's foot - ha!).

JR, in black suit and hat, and Lawler, in white suit and black tshirt, show FOOTAGE! of Rock kicking La Resistance's butts.

Rhyno, in black "Rhyno" singlet, and Tajiri, in black pants with dragon and flaming left hem, vs. La Resistance, attacking from behing, in blue "La Resistance" undies, and Coach, in blue tanktop and black shorts. Chris Kay wears the stripes while he officiates. Tajiri is eliminated in the ambush. Rhyno is your (well, our) undercarder-in-peril, until he makes a classic comeback. GORE to Coach. Rob's sportin' a goatee. Au-revoir->pin. Average match.

JR and Lawler twist the "Wedding from Hell" dagger some more. Fuck you, FOOTAGE! how could you betray me? Backstage, Kane tells someone not to come out 'til he gives the word to.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the back, Eugene regales Regal with his tale of San Fran tourism. Regal implores Eugene to be safe.

Batista, in same, vs. Regal, in ugly red singlet with blue trim. Lillian wears a black tube top and b/w striped skirt. I liked Regal's heel music more - this tune is too prissy. Earl Hebner is the referee, wearing stripes (but not Chris Kay's). Batista goes for a chair, distracting Earl, which allows Flair to come down and give a loaded punch. Clothesline->pin on Regal. Poor match - clash of styles.

At the RNC, perky Ivory (man, that's a HUGE flower), yellow Linda, and HBK (but he wasn't coming back 'til the PPV, right?)...are...there.

Stacie, in black...bra and pleated white skirt (short, of course), has an envelope. Today's Diva Letter: F. Fancy floosies freely and festively flaunt what they've got while Stacie forces them to be one fewer. I favor flagellation in lieu of this facade. The eliminated one is actually halfway decent; yeah, the Double Duke (she flips the fingers)! Stacy then brings Chad "I'll allow it" Patton to try to keep order here. Everyone disses Carmella - fuck her. Man, this whole fuckin' segment should've been bleeped. Um, ffffffff. Carmella is the least attractive of the ones left (redhead a close second). Many flake boobies bounce.

In the back, Kane drages Lita through the halls. Trish talks trash, with Tyson onlooking. Kane gets this serious look on his face, but then laughs it off.

Here's the crappy music you listen to while the diva crap is going on.

Kane, in black tights with red stripes, escorts Lita, in pink/black longsleeved v-neck and black pants. Why is Chad "I'll allow it" Patton out there? Did he just stand around during the break? Did he do tricks and make baloon animals for the children? Kane says he got an open contract from Bischoff as a wedding gift. Kane brings out a posse of "Hardy boys". I'd say "hardly" boys. Support your local Indy fed. Kane then destroys them. What - the bell rings; it's a match? Fuck that bread - this is no match. But the bell rings again and they play Kane's music. Post-match, Lita presents a "prize" to Kane; apparently she booked Kane vs. HBK at Unforgiven, with Kane's own open contract. Kane is livid. I am non-plused.

Flair, in gold sequined "Nature Boy" robe, black "RF" undies therunder, vs. Benoit, in grey "4 Real" tights with red slashes. Mike Chioda officiates, patting-down Flair, revealing brass knuckles behind the kneepad (man, THAT must hurt if you land on it). Chop, chop, chop, choppy-choppy your pee-pee. Batista interferes; Benoit wins by DQ. Post-match, Batista powerbombs Batista; he doesn't get up.

Jericho, in "Y2J" shirt with red shoulders/sleeves, hosts the Hilight Reel. Edge, on crutches, in black wifebeater and jeans, dragging the IC Title, comes out. Hey - I've seen this one before. They talk and shake. From behind, Christian!, in white pinstripped suit and grey corderoys, attacks. Edge just watches.

Trish, in black zipped vest and black pants, with Tomko, and Gail, in white slashed top and hotpants, vs. Nidia, in black longsleeved singlet with red belt and Dancetoria, in yellow "see my boobs" top annd hotpants. Chris Kay officiates. Victoria with the rollup->pin on Gail.

Crapdown! Rebound. Crapup?

In the trainer's office, Todd Grisham asks the tough questions of Bischoff. I like the optomitrists' chart.

HHH, in same, vs. Eugene, in "Giants" #25 (Bonds) jersey over white jacket and blue undies. Chad "I'll allow it" Patton is the referee. Eugene has run his course. Randy comes down with Mjolnir and interferes, Evolution tries to make the save, but Randy drapes Eugene over HHH for the pin.

Overall: An okay show. The diva crap was short; that's a positive. The Jericho/Edge/Christian! storyline holds some promise. Although, from the Hilight Reel on, I flipped back and forth between Raw and the RNC.



YOUR CONTINUED HERESY AGAINST THE WRESTLING GODS HAS DOOMED YOU TO SPEND
ETERNITY WATCHING A MORDECAI VS. KENZO SUZUKI IRON-MAN MATCH
(and Hiroko isn't at ringside for you to oogle).

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KaneRobot
Morcilla








Since: 24.2.02
From: Bowels

Since last post: 2361 days
Last activity: 1653 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.19
"YOU DON'T KNOW SH(BLEEP), HAVING A COCK IN YOUR A(BLEEP) DOESN'T MAKE YOU A DIVA!"

Hope they show that at "Raw XX" or whatever they call the 20 year anniversary thing.


Orton's new music sucks. Not that I'm surprised.



SC
Potato korv








Since: 11.12.01
From: Valparaiso, IN

Since last post: 1263 days
Last activity: 597 days
AIM:  
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.69
I don't usually like to say such things, but that girl TOTALLY called Carmella a cum-guzzling gutter slut. HEY NOW.



dotcom // cubs.org // let's go hero
BWT
Boerewors








Since: 27.1.04
From: Philly

Since last post: 3127 days
Last activity: 2731 days
AIM:  
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.49
They did a really good job tonight with Orton as a face who wasn't hiding and also didn't kiss ass. The end where he threw down the sledge hammer and did the RKO was great because it doesn't make him look like a pussy. The stuff with Edge and Y2J was the best stuff Edge has done in months and with Christian involved again it opens up a ton of different options. And the Diva stuff well that was the first one I actually enjoyed.
Juggalo101
Italian








Since: 27.4.04
From: Atlanta

Since last post: 568 days
Last activity: 567 days
AIM:  
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.53
Random Raw Thoughts:

-As John Bradshaw Layfield once said, "It's Morning Again, In America." Christian has returned. I'm wondering why they didn't say absolutely anything about Edge & Christian being "brothers" or part of one the greatest tag-teams of all time? I'm sure they'll mention it in the weeks to come, but how do you go about only saying, "Is Edge Next?"

-I'm glad they sent Stacy for the "How to talk in front of a live crowd" bit. I'm guessing Spike is going to pretty ticked about "Cock sucker."

-I'm not understanding the reasoning in showing HBK before Unforgiven. Especially for something like Smackdown Your Vote...?

-Nice face pop for Orton tonight in the opening segment. I'm not too crazy about the lyrics in his new theme though...Why did he have his tights on at the end of the show?



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Has there ever been one smarter?
Mr.Blackwell
Weisswurst








Since: 20.7.04

Since last post: 3600 days
Last activity: 3596 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.37
Man, the Diva search has been on a bit of an upswing as of late.

Jericho's "Little Canadian Jig" comment was good, the word jig should be used more often.

I know John Cena is a Smackdown guy and this is he RAW thread, but tonight I finally realized who he reminded me of. Apparently he's a huge Jadakiss fan

Follow up to that, but the Day of REckoning Game box looks like it should be for an RPG.



Washington Generals= Worlds Greatest jobbers.
Socks
Landjager








Since: 25.6.02
From: Ottawa

Since last post: 757 days
Last activity: 370 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.21
Diva stuff sucks...

Is it just me or is Eugene beginning to look like Randy Savage???



This one time....at band camp......
Kane Is Ugly
Kishke








Since: 14.7.03
From: Uglyville

Since last post: 2360 days
Last activity: 2346 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.21
Ya know, somewhere in that crowd, some little kid is asking his daddy what "sucking cock" means. That whole segment was just surreal. I have a feeling it was all setup for shock value, but damn, I giggled like a school girl. BTW, that redhead has my vote. Hogan WISHED he could do a leg drop that cool.

Also, Randy's new theme sucks. It doesnt have the sound of a wrestling, its more like something you'd hear in a video package.

More thoughts:

Nidia cant possible be more boring. God, she needs a gimmick fast. She needs to team up with Hurricane and Rosey. They got some history there. It could work.

EDGE & CHRISTIAN! EDGE & CHRISTIAN! YES!

That Hardy "family" prolly blows less spots than Jeff does in one match.






I miss the GWF.
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 1 day
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.69

My jaw dropped during that Diva Search segment ... you know Vince had to shit in his pants about 3 times ... unless, he told them to go out there and have free reign. Makes you wonder.

Thank goodness Christian is back ... looks like a rematch with Jericho at Unforgiven ... this little triangle with Edge could become the best thing on RAW ...

Orton looked strong ... I dig his music ... Was that a Jim Johnston penned tune or some flavor-of-the-month band?

I like the idea of having Benoit/Regal vs. Flair/Batista ...

Not a bad RAW at all ... except for the Hardy family thing.




Shem the Penman
Toulouse








Since: 16.1.02
From: The Off-Center of the Universe (aka Philadelphia)

Since last post: 199 days
Last activity: 2 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.02
    Originally posted by ScottChrist
    I don't usually like to say such things, but that girl TOTALLY called Carmella a cum-guzzling gutter slut. HEY NOW.


And I was thinking, "Jeez, Christy used to read the Dysfunctional Family Circus?!" (Probably not, but if she did, I would vote for her a million billion times.)

When Lita was going on about how she filled in Kane's opponent's name, I was seized with a moment of terror that they might actually be booking Kane vs. Lita.

Best match of the night was the women's match, by far, what with Gail's pleasantly wonky submission holds and Victoria's nice crisp headbutt. Flair/Benoit was okay, but just an exercise in going through the motions -- two Flair Flops in one short match is overdoing it.



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jjfc
Cotechino








Since: 13.5.04
From: DC

Since last post: 3591 days
Last activity: 3360 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.64
Orton's crowd reactions completely befuddle me. One minute he is getting strong face pops and "Randy" chants, the next he gets nothing. Give the WWE credit though, for a rushed storyline they are doing well with this. Orton is a face, but they stick with his basic heelish traits. He doesn't play to the fans.

I'm happy that Christian is back, but I kinda wanted to see a full PPV style match between just Edge/Y2J (although given their last couple of free TV mathces, maybe they're doing the right thing.)

Eugene got the crowd back a little bit.

Rudy G is really a great speaker.
bubblesthechimp
Boudin rouge








Since: 22.3.02
From: Weymouth, Ma

Since last post: 86 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.48
    Originally posted by ScreamingHeadGuy
    Batista powerbombs Batista; he doesn't get up.


I totally want to see this.



“He screwed jello out her head.”
PerthHeat
Mettwurst








Since: 16.8.04
From: Perth Australia

Since last post: 2960 days
Last activity: 2946 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.40
    Originally posted by Socks
    Diva stuff sucks...

    Is it just me or is Eugene beginning to look like Randy Savage???


I hope Cowmella isnt his Miss Elizabeth.

Now she had diva class.RIP





if you cant stand the heat...buy icecream
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 415 days
Last activity: 415 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.37
More than two matches.
The bleeper really didn't do a good job getting the secondary cock comments. Where is Kamala when you need him?
Funniest part of course is Stacy mentioning that a Diva needs to be able to speak. Next segment of course involves Lita, who can't speak. Also, under what legal authority can Lita sign Shawn Michaels name? She should be charged with forgery and thrown into Roddy Piper's Alcatraz cell, never to be released.
Cow Palace? Nice to see they finally named a building for Vince's female off-spring.
Why is Coachman wrestling? If he wants to manage, fine. But don't let him in a wrestling ring.
Surprised that Batista was able to have a decent match with Regal.
Maybe its just the old Horsemen pride, but Flair does seem to be able to at least look decent when he faces Benoit.
Has to be wrestling Karma that a few days after the bullshit groin on the top rope DQ, Edge ends up tearing his groin.
At least with the no DQ main event they were able to avoid going to a ridiculous ref bump. However, since countouts were allowed earlier in the match, why wasn't there a double count when Eugene was out and Trip had been knocked out by the sledgehammer/RKO?



The Public Demands: Replace the Star Spangled Banner with Brass Bonanza.
The Vile1
Lap cheong








Since: 4.9.02
From: California

Since last post: 1948 days
Last activity: 1680 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.33
    Originally posted by Mayhem

    My jaw dropped during that Diva Search segment ... you know Vince had to shit in his pants about 3 times ... unless, he told them to go out there and have free reign. Makes you wonder.

    Thank goodness Christian is back ... looks like a rematch with Jericho at Unforgiven ... this little triangle with Edge could become the best thing on RAW ...

    Orton looked strong ... I dig his music ... Was that a Jim Johnston penned tune or some flavor-of-the-month band?

    I like the idea of having Benoit/Regal vs. Flair/Batista ...

    Not a bad RAW at all ... except for the Hardy family thing.


What makes you so sure Vince would shit in his pants? Have you even seen some of the crap he's allowed on WWE/F TV over the last decade?




"Don't compare my arm to your cheap arm!"
-Edward Elric
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 1 day
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.69
    Originally posted by The Vile1
      Originally posted by Mayhem

      My jaw dropped during that Diva Search segment ... you know Vince had to shit in his pants about 3 times ... unless, he told them to go out there and have free reign. Makes you wonder.

      Thank goodness Christian is back ... looks like a rematch with Jericho at Unforgiven ... this little triangle with Edge could become the best thing on RAW ...

      Orton looked strong ... I dig his music ... Was that a Jim Johnston penned tune or some flavor-of-the-month band?

      I like the idea of having Benoit/Regal vs. Flair/Batista ...

      Not a bad RAW at all ... except for the Hardy family thing.


    What makes you so sure Vince would shit in his pants? Have you even seen some of the crap he's allowed on WWE/F TV over the last decade?


You do have a point my friend ... As long as he garners some sort of headline in a mainstream media outlet, I'm sure he'll be happy. But this might not bode well for the Spike TV re-negotiations

(edited by Mayhem on 30.8.04 2235)



OMEGA
Lap cheong








Since: 18.6.02
From: North Cacalacky

Since last post: 1877 days
Last activity: 1844 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.34
The guys at Spike TV must have loved the "cum-guzzling gutter-slut" comment. So must have the parents who brought their little kids, looking for a fun, family night out. I'm sure next time WWE's in town, they'll just opt for Chuck-E-Cheese.

Still, it was the best thing this Diva shit has produced.

Edge/Jericho/Christian = Best thing goin' in WWE. It's always the simplest storylines that are the best. One guy hates the other, vice-versa, and then they fight. It ain't rocket-science, folks.

RAW was better than last week, although I still didn't think it was all that great. SmackDown is definitley creeping up on them..... VIVA JBL~!



The answer to WWE's financial problems...

Never 'Wiener of the Day', and is actually quite bitter about it.
Mr Heel II
Lap cheong








Since: 25.2.02

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 9 hours
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.09
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
    Also, under what legal authority can Lita sign Shawn Michaels name?
She didn't. She just wrote his name in on the contract as the opponent. Shawn didn't have to consent...Bischoff gave the contract to Kane as a wedding gift, saying he could wrestle anybody he wants. Lita just decided who he wanted to wrestle after noting that, as his wife, the gift was also hers.

At least Michaels is being teased as returning and actually has something to do. I hate it when they promote somebody's return, and they just show up for the sake of returning.
ScreamingHeadGuy
Frankfurter








Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 684 days
Last activity: 684 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41
    Originally posted by bubblesthechimp
      Originally posted by ScreamingHeadGuy
      Batista powerbombs Batista; he doesn't get up.


    I totally want to see this.


It's actually a modified Canadian Destroyer - totally vicious. Batista can NEVER get up from that.

That's what I get for not proofreading. Dang Rudy G's fledgling stand-up career.



YOUR CONTINUED HERESY AGAINST THE WRESTLING GODS HAS DOOMED YOU TO SPEND
ETERNITY WATCHING A MORDECAI VS. KENZO SUZUKI IRON-MAN MATCH
(and Hiroko isn't at ringside for you to oogle).

Hogan's My Dad
Andouille








Since: 8.6.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.33
Nice to see the fans didn't exactly devour the illogical force-feed of Orton tonight. They didn't crap on it either. Oh well, the Lex Express of 2004 continues.

What the HELL was that Diva crap? I'm sorry, I've been mighty forgiving of this Diva search up to this point, but as someone who started watching wrestling at the age of three, I think "cock in your mouth" is a phrase that oughtta stay out of wrestling. I felt kind of badly for Carmella, actually, and thought her attacks were a wee bit less disgusting than the others.

The Benoit/Flair was really uninspired. Actually there were no good matches tonight. This was a pretty bad show, and yet, I never got bored enough to change the channel. Odd.





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Eh, I'm not sold on the "angle turning into a shoot" thing from last night. Seems like something the guys in the back would want to start to add more fire to the Show/Mayweather match.
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