TONIGHT: Well, according to WWE.com, the former tag champs will get a re-match tonight. General Manager Mike Adamle has promised to get to the bottom of the Kane situation by revealing what’s in the bag he’s been carrying around. And JBL has challenged CM Punk to a contest that Punk, apparently, “can’t win.” Excitement, she wrote!
-Clips of the breakdown in the relationship of Cena & Batista aired, beginning with Cena accidentally punching Batista, and climaxing with last week’s tag title win.
-No Raw opening, they go straight to the arena and John Cena’s music. A good mix of boos and cheers for the (tag team) champ. Cena said he’s never had a problem with Batista, but out of thin air, he has a match with him at Summerslam and somehow, last week, they became tag team champions. Cena said Adamle is all about hype. Adamle asked Cena earlier, apparently, what they can do to hype the match up even more. A weigh-in? A press-conference? A broken-glass arm-wrestling match? Oh, nice shot at Smackdown with that one. A deserved one too. Cena said they don’t need hype....it’s the first time he has ever faced Batista. He then (kind of) called out Batista. Of course, the Animal answered.
Cena said their match at Summerslam has been six years in the making. He said he’s been watching Batista for six years, and he watched him get groomed by Triple H and Ric Flair. Cena said he didn’t get hand-picked, every week he turned critics into believers. He said they’ve answered a lot of questions, but never this one: Between the two of them, who’s better? Cena said they’d find an answer on Sunday....and it’s gonna be him. Dave said he’d been watching Cena too. Batista noted all the ways that they’re careers have mirrored each other. Batista said he respected that Cena hasn’t changed through adversity. He did say, though, he wouldn’t be caught dead doing some of the things Cena does. Batista, of course, thinks he’ll win on Sunday. The two shook hands in the middle of the ring and Cena left as Batista’s music played. For those who said they needed the belts to add more interest to the match: That segment was perfect for that, and that’s all they needed to do.
-World Tag Title re-match is still to come, Batista & Cena vs. Rhodes & Dibiase.
-WWE received two “Cine” awards for TV production; one for WrestleMania and one for the Tribute to the Troops.
(1) Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix Jerry Lawler pointed out George Thorogood in the audience. Santino came to the ring with Beth and joined the commentary team. Kelly slapped Beth hard across the face once the bell rang. Kelly tripped up the Glamazon, who kicked out of a roll-up at two. Santino said those in the media are calling them “Glamarella,” a la Brangelina. Beth military pressed Kelly, but Kelly got a roll-up for two. She ran into Beth’s finisher and the Buffalo native picked up the win.
Winner: Beth, at 2:11.
Santino got the mic and told Beth to send a message to Kofi and Mickie: “Do that move I like where you pick her up and crush her.” Before she could, Mickie and Kofi ran out and Santino and Beth fled the ring. Santino said he’d save things for Summerslam. But then he challenged someone to a match right now. Kofi accepted, but of course, Santino was talking to Mickie. Marella said he needed practice for Summerslam, knowing where to put his hands. Kofi said no, but Mickie accepted.
(2) Santino Marella vs. Mickie James Match was joined-in-progress out of break. Marella and Mickie did some chain wrestling, and Mickie tripped him up a couple times, then rode him like a horse. Santino literally walked into an arm-drag. Santino claimed he had a knee injury, and Mickie didn’t let up much. Santino distracted Kofi, allowing Beth to come in and ram Mickie shoulder-first into the post. Marella turned around and rolled up Mickie, using the tights, for the win.
Winner: Santino, at 2:17. Santino jumped into Beth’s arms to celebrate. I’m surprised how much TV time they’ve given to build this undercard match.
-A close-up of a Ronald Regan portrait in Mike Adamle’s office as he was talking to Todd Grisham. Kane walked in and Adamle proposed an Adamle Original, pitting Kane against Jericho tonight. Adamle said Kane would hand over the bag after the match. Kane said he didn’t want to do that. Adamle said in less than a month, little kids will be going back to school and he doesn’t want them mimicking Kane by bringing a burlap bag into school, scaring teachers and students. “That’s just bad business,” Adamle hilariously said. Kane said he was making a big mistake. Adamle closed the segment, after Kane walked out, by doing the sitcom “put hands on hips looking frustrated” look.
-Another WWE 24/7 clip. It’s from October 1979, The Valiants vs. Santana & Putski from MSG.
-Dibiase and Rhodes addressed the camera backstage. See, this is where they get in trouble: Acknowledge the camera all the time, or not at all. They talked about Santana & Putski and how Batista and Cena don’t like each other. They also said they would win back the titles. Great delivery but they didn’t have a lot to say.
-A Summerslam match on Raw: Jericho vs. Kane.
-Also, JBL’s challenge for CM Punk is yet to come.
(3) Cryme Tyme vs. The Highlanders This is Rory’s return from injury, is it not? No mention by Cole, unless I missed it. Shad, from a bodylsam position, lifted Robbie up for a suplex. Shad then planted Robbie with a relatively unimpressive move actually, and got the pin.
Winners: Cryme Tyme, at 1:58
-Up next, JBL’s mystery challenge for Punk.
-Cole mentioned Orton’s new injury.
-JBL came out, with red carpet in the ring and a black table with something hidden underneath the cloth. JBL didn’t even get a chance to speak in the ring, as Punk came out right after him. I liked the “You got the right one, baby” sign out there with the Pepsi logo. JBL talked about ending Punk’s reign when Punk told him to shut up. Punk said he has earned the championship. He said he’s looking forward to walking into Summerslam and retaining his title. JBL scolded Punk for having the temerity (his word, not mine, though I’d like to take credit for it!) to come out and rant about his accolades. JBL said he’d end Punk’s fairy-tale reign on Sunday. JBL segued into the contest he has in mind for tonight. As many predicted, it was a drinking contest.
JBL called Punk’s “healthy and clean” lifestyle boring. He demanded Punk sit down with someone “who built this business” (gag me with a spoon) and drink. I feel like this isn’t too far off what really happened at one point when Punk first started. JBL said if Punk took one drink, he’d concede the contest. JBL said Punk needs to show he’d do anything to win, even checking his principles and morals at the door. Punk said he’s not going to be like JBL. He said he’d check his body at the door, but he’s not willing to compromise his beliefs. He noted that he is World Champion and he won’t let some bully shoehorn him into his idea of a championship persona. JBL said he didn’t know Punk brought his soapbox. He then picked up his glass and toasted to the end of Punk’s footnote of a championship run. Punk stopped him though and said he had a change of heart. He wanted to do the toast. He said sometimes it’s what you don’t do that makes you who you are. He then threw the shot glass of JD into JBL’s face and pounded him down for good measure. Punk’s best promo in WWE. Great segment.
-Up next, Kane vs. Jericho. Will Kane turn over the bag to Adamle?
-A clip aired of HBK’s interview last week. He’ll clue us in on his future at Summerslam.
(4) Chris Jericho vs. Kane If it’s Summerslam-worthy, why not hype it ahead of time to bring in all the viewers possible? Kane was on the attack against Kane, but Kane used his strength to propel Jericho over the top rope. Jericho was soon back on offense once they got in the ring. Cade was at ringside, BTW, for the two of you that care. Kane missed a charge and Jericho got a roll-up that soon turned into a Walls of Jericho. Side slam by Kane. Jericho caught Kane on the top rope, but was pushed off and hit with a clothesline off the top. Mike Adamle and security came to ringside. It distracted Kane, but he still hit a big boot. He grabbed the bag, but Jericho hit the CodeBreaker and got the win.
Winner: Jericho, at 4:32.
Adamle got in the ring and said he was here to help and that the situation needed to be resolved. Adamle said he knows what’s inside the bag and he knows who Kane is referring to in the “Alive or dead” debate. He said the “he” is Kane....the monster inside of him. Adamle implored Kane to give up the bag. He said the people watching on Raw deserve to know. Adamle said if Kane opened the bag, Kane could live a normal life. Regan once told Gorbachev, “Take down that wall.” Tonight, Adamle is saying: “Give me that bag.” Awesome. Kane said he did have a mask in the bag. But it isn’t his. Kane opened it....it was Rey Mysterio’s. Well, his is the only other one with a mask. Swerve!!
(5) Jamie Noble vs. William Regal Regal went all British on Noble, kicking his ass, but Noble flipped into a seated Regal in the corner. Noble off the top with a cross-body for two. Regal, out of nowhere, got a knee right to the head of Noble, knocking him cold long enough to get the pin.
Winner: Regal, at 1:20.
-Smackdown Rebound aired, of Edge (spoiler alert) turning on his family.
-Cole & Lawler ran down the Summerslam card.
-Fans online voted John Cena the bigger star over Batista, 73% to 27%. Probably true, especially if we’re talking in the mainstream.
-John Cena & Batista came out for the tag title match, which is next.
(6) John Cena & Batista vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase- World Tag Team Title Match Batista started things off, but Cena tagged his way in when the bell rang. Remember when you had to touch your opponent before tagging out? Ah, the glory days. Anyway, Cena got jumped by Rhodes. Cena came back with a shoulderblock and hit his big moves. He went over to Batista and did the “you can’t see me,” then landed the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Rhodes. Good time for a break.
Dibiase had Cena down on the mat with a chin-lock, keeping Cena from making the tag. Batista came in and went for the Batista Bomb but Cena interrupted that. The interruption led to Rhodes taking over control. Batista came back and limped over to his corner. Cena extended his hand...Batista slapped him in the face. Dibiase shoved Cena into Batista as the champs were face to face, Dibiase rolled Cena up and got the victory.
Winners: Dibiase & Rhodes, at 8:08.
The faces attacked the heels after the match (and some yelling between them). Batista wanted him back in the ring, so Cena walked back down. Before they could get their hands on each other, security and referees intervened. Adamle came down to ringside to check on the new champions....and Cena and Batista somehow got through the usually brick wall-like security. They went at it again as the show ended.
If he's going to quote Reagan, at least get it right. It was 'Tear down this wall', not 'take down this wall'. And for those scoring at home, Kane has shockingly turned heel. Again. How he turned face to turn heel again still hasn't really been explained, but he has turned anyway. Even as the Serious Jericho, he can't get on the SummerSlam card over a wacky intergender tag match. Am I the only one who actually could hear Lou Thesz roll over in his grave when Bradshaw said he built this business?
No one seemed THAT concerned that Kane just revealed Rey Misterio was deceased in that segment, quite likely murdered by Kane weeks and weeks ago. The least they could've done is put up a in memory of graphic by the end of the show.
This was quite possibly the best hard sell show ever. Summerslam just went from a joke to its rightful second-best-show-of-the-year status.
Hats off to John Cena and Batista for a impassioned face-off that relived dueling parallel timelines and allotted respect (and some mockery) for both men and their respective drawing power.
Hats off to Santino Marella for challenging a woman. AND for making it seem to be a very even contest on paper.
Hats off to Mike Adamle for your love of Ronald Reagan. The Gipper himself would've been proud of how you withstood the barrage of WHATs without cowering in fear. You are looking more like 1998 Vince McMahon by the day. Keep practicing.
Hats off to DiBiase and Rhodes for the history lesson. Tag team wrestling is an art that has decayed over the last decade. If WWE 24/7 or WWE.com has any sense, there should be a daily tape review show of the Tag Team Champions breaking down footage of the Midnight Express, Arn and Tully, and other classic tag teams. You are the future.
Hats off to JBL and CM Punk for the promo of the year. JBL is of the rare breed of fully boo-able, non cool villains that can get booed out of a building just by mentioning in passing how much fans love him. JBL bringing up CM Punk "vile" past in the indy terriories and allotment into the big leagues just to shut smarks up had just the flavour of truth that the best heels need to have. Also, just the fact that CM Punk can get over the line, "Sometimes it's what you DON'T do that makes you who you are" without it sounding like an after-school special means he has made it further along that what was ever expected of him.
Hats off to Kane, who has always been sort of underrated as an actor to a degree. Your facial expressions out-class 90% of wrestler's verbal promos.
And finally, hats off to Freddie Prinze Jr or whomever is running the writing crew right now. Not only get we get the answer to the "Dead or Alive" question (well, sorta), not only did we find what was in the bag, but we got it FOR FREE. ALSO, double double bonus for not blowing your wad early AAAAAAND triple triple triple bonus: I went back to double check for continuity, and sure enough Rey Mysterio, whom had just got done beating Santino to start a nice comeback mysteriously vanished into thin air. All without questioning from other wrestlers or commentary. Are you meaning to tell me we're no longer writing on cocktail napkins and pizza boxes at 3:45pm Monday afternoon?
And just like that, they killed the Kane "what's in the bag?" angle. Rey Mysterio? What does he have to do with Kane freaking out? And why couldn't this had been saved until Summerslam if it was such a big storyline for the past month or so? The revelation of the mask in the bag was so badly executed, it felt Russo-esque.
- Beth/Santino are awesome to watch together. I'm still not sure if the intergender match at SS is going to be technicaly anything special, but it will be the most enteraining to watch.
-I think I've given enough time for GM Adamle and I got to say, he's just not any good. He's not boring, but he looks totally out of place as an authority figure.
-The JBL/Punk promo was a tale to two talkers. JBL is just repetitive as this point; even Punk called him out at that. Punk meanwhile gave a great interview where he gave light into 'straight edge' for those who may not know about it too much. It also bulids him as a respectable face with values instead of a goofy one like Cena who has to use 'poopy' humor to connect with his fans.
-Speaking of Cena, he & Batista had a decent promo in the beginning of RAW to build up their match at SS. But the tag match was too perdictible. It makes me wonder why they even took the title away from Dibiase/ Rhodes in the first place.
Overall, a mixed bag for RAW. The 'talking' part sells the PPV pretty good, but the 'walking' part wiyth the matches leaves a lot be desired.
Anyone get the idea that the WWE caught on to the IWC believing the mask was in the bag, and decided on a swerve for the hell of it? I haven't seen a swerve that random since I DID IT FOR DA ROK, I think, and while it wasn't as great as that randomness, I still marked out for how bizarre it turned out to be.
Rey Mysterio? Really? Awesome. I love random shit like this. Keep it up, WWE. Summerslam's looking better now.
I am not quite sure why all the hate for Adamle. Sure, throughout the Jeff Harvey deal and some really hideous match calling, I have to say that I have been entertained by his new role as GM. Dare I say that he is getting more and more comfortable each time he is out there. I say give the guy more time! It does feel a bit like 1998 and the beginnings of the Austin/McMahon saga.
I loved Kane's expressions throughout that segment. And Mysterio's mask? I completely expected it to be Kane's old mask but when he pulled Rey's, I was like what the hell?!? I certainly hope that the fued will be good.
I also need to point out that I watch it on USA's HD channel so its on at 6pm here on the west coast so I am not spoiled by results before it's on.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Originally posted by mightynineNow, for it being Rey's mask? Mildly underwhelming, but that could change on where they go with it.
At least it wasn't a hand in the bag.
Adamle said in a few weeks kids will be going back to school. He said he doesn't need them mimicking Kane by bringing bags to school. Are you f*cking kidding me ? This was the best reason the writers could come up with in getting the bag off of Kane ?
Loved the back-and-forth with JBL and Punk.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Dibiase and Rhodes give a great history lesson of the tag team history then in the main event their match ends in a lame ending out of the past 10 years of horrible tag team wrestling.
Batista/Cena vs. Dibiase/Rhodes could've been so much better. Instead of making it a feuding tag team they should've let Cena and Batista befriend each other and start to tag together. The two most dominant wrestlers on Raw then go on a rampage and seem unstoppable and win the tag team titles. Then they have a long feud with Dibiase and Rhodes and the young guys get the rub. It'd basically be like the Two Man Power Trip vs. the Canadian Chrises except with the heel and faces being reversed.
Batista and Cena could then break up and feud a la Hogan and Savage making their feud more of a slow burn instead of tossing together a match up that should have a lot more build up. The slow build up to Batista and Cena also gives Punk plenty of time to hold onto the title and Cena and Batista holding the tag titles for a little bit would raise its worth.
Instead we get a rushed Cena/Batista feud, two meaningless tag title changes and Rhodes/Dibiase looking like losers.
Originally posted by redsoxnationIf he's going to quote Reagan, at least get it right. It was 'Tear down this wall', not 'take down this wall'. And for those scoring at home, Kane has shockingly turned heel. Again. How he turned face to turn heel again still hasn't really been explained, but he has turned anyway. Even as the Serious Jericho, he can't get on the SummerSlam card over a wacky intergender tag match. Am I the only one who actually could hear Lou Thesz roll over in his grave when Bradshaw said he built this business?
"Take down this wall" was had me reeling thinking how unhistoric it would have been if that was how Reagan actually said it and then he immediatly followed it up with an even worse "Hand me that bag". How was that not a great moment? I'm actually liking the Adalme 'character'.
I love when Bradshaw starts talking about being a wrestling God and I like how he's added in that he built this business over and over tonight. It wouldn't work for everyone, but Bradshaw delivers it with such great conviction that I can't help but enjoy it.
Originally posted by KevintripodAdamle said in a few weeks kids will be going back to school. He said he doesn't need them mimicking Kane by bringing bags to school. Are you f*cking kidding me ? This was the best reason the writers could come up with in getting the bag off of Kane ?
Sometimes I think people take this show to seriously. I think Adalme's going to turn out to be one of those guys whose reasoning doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I've had a ton of bosses myself that think that way.
Originally posted by thecubsfanNo one seemed THAT concerned that Kane just revealed Rey Misterio was deceased in that segment, quite likely murdered by Kane weeks and weeks ago. The least they could've done is put up a in memory of graphic by the end of the show.
Next week will be the standard "pre-taped memorials backstage" show.
Well, listen, I'm going to cut you some slack. April Fools Day jokes are only funny if it's so crazy that you don't believe it at first. Then the details make it seem believeable, then you find out it's not real. It's a roller coaster ride.