-Randy Orton is in the ring and his music is playing. And Tazz is on color commentary, as Jerry Lawler is still out from the beating he suffered last week at the hands of King Booker. Oh, and we’re LIVE from Fayetville, North Carolina. Orton said it would be the last time the fans would see him in the ring without the championship around his waist. Clips of Orton RKO’ing Cena on the chair at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Orton said that footage would be the new most played wrestling video of all-time, surpassing Hogan slamming Andre, Austin 3:16 and the Montreal Screwjob. Crowd started up a “Cena, Cena” chant. Rumor has it, according to Orton, that Cena isn’t even in the building. Well, now we know how things will turn out. Orton said if he is here tonight, he should just come out and forfeit the title now. Orton’s pause, waiting for Cena, brought out Vince McMahon. Vince said that while Orton’s match at SummerSlam is important, apparently his paternity suit takes precedent. Vince said his illegitimate offspring is male. He said he hoped his son had qualities like Randy. Vinnie Mac complained that his REAL offspring only care about money, and he hopes his “new” son isn’t like that. Vince told the fans they only enjoy the misfortune of others, then called them “sick.” He claimed this wouldn’t bring him down. He hoped his son isn’t like Cena, someone with no dignity. Just then, Cena was shown walking backstage on the Titan-Tron, looking for Orton. A stagehand told him Randy was in the ring. Cena, with a stoic look on his face, came down to the ring, as Orton exited it. He stood at ringside while Vince and Cena were in the ring. Cena said he didn’t like Vince, then called him arrogant, pompous and disrespectful. Cena said he’d be ashamed to call Vince his father. Cena told Orton he’d be at SummerSlam on Sunday and would retain the title. Vince said if Cena didn’t show, he’d strip him of the championship. “Speaking of stripping,” Vince said, “that would bring me to your mother.” He said he very well may have “done” Cena’s mom. Cena then nailed him and Vince rolled out of the ring. He and Orton walked to the back together. On the ramp, a pained McMahon told Cena he would be facing “the un-defeated” Snitsky. A collective groan was let out by the crowd.
-Coming up next, Candice and Mickie take on Melina and Beth Phoenix next!
-Rey Mysterio returns at SummerSlam.
(1) Melina and Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James and Candice Michelle How many different ways can they throw this combo out there? Seems like we see this match every week. Candice has a new re-mixed theme. Before the match can start, GM William Regal came out. Regal has made a WWE Diva’s Battle Royal at SummerSlam, in conjunction with the other G.M’s. Every diva (aside from Candice) in WWE will be in it. The winner will get a shot at Candice Michelle and her title. Mickie tried to fight off Beth to start, but Beth hit a slingshot suplex. Quick cover only got a one-count. Beth got shoved in the corner and made the tag, but Mickie did as well and Candice hit a couple of clotheslines. Suplex with a bridge by Candice for two. She knocked Beth off the apron then used an interesting roll-up combination to pin Melina.
Winners: Mickie and Candice at 1:37
-After the match, Mickie threw Candice out of the ring and Beth did the same to Melina, getting ready for the “every person for themselves” battle royal on Sunday.
-Umaga is on Carlito’s Cabana tonight. Also, Snitsky vs. Cena.
-Backstage, Santino Marella is in Regal’s office. He called Regal a home-wrecker for setting up Simmons with Maria. Regal ordered him not to interfere with their date.
-Also backstage, King Booker addressed the camera, or more specifically, Triple H. Booker said he knows Triple H is in the arena tonight. He said he wants to meet Trips in the ring tonight, before they “joust” in the SummerSlam “games.” Sharmell invited Triple H to join in on Booker’s coronation ceremony tonight.
-Coach looked at a cut on Vince’s mouth from Cena’s slap earlier. Coach tried to broach the subject of Triple H being Vince’s son, but they both said, “nah.” Well, he wasn’t around the ring last week, so it can’t be him, right? They came upon Val Venis who said, “Hellloooo, Daddy!” Coach said Val being his son would explain a lot. They passed Daivari, who gave Vince a “Hello papa!” then put his headgear on Vince’s head. Vince was not happy. Kennedy was talking to a stagehand when they came upon him. Vince and KK looked at each other, then Vince and Coach moved on.
-The match that will light the world on fire...Snitsky vs. Cena, tonight. Should be interesting to see the ratings for that one.
(2) Shelton Benjamin vs. Cody Rhodes Cody sure does have a swagger to him. Shelton got the early advantage, but slapped Cody, who then took Shelton over with an arm-drag. Shelton came back with a suplex. Shelton hit some right hands to the face followed by a rear chin-lock. Benjamin went to work on the lower back as the crowd was not into it at all. Shelton tried it again, but Cody hit a back elbow. Clothesline, two dropkicks from Rhodes. Bulldog for two by Cody. Rhodes made a mistake, and Shelton capitalized with an inverted back-breaker. He tried for a Boston Crab, but Cody grabbed Shelton’s heels and went for a roll-up and got the win.
Winner: Rhodes at 3:04
-Charlie Haas came right into the ring following the pin and The World’s Greatest Tag Team double-teamed Rhodes. They left him lying in the ring. Too bad Goldust isn’t available, he could team with Cody against TWGTT.
-Next week, RAW will be on at their regular time, only on the Sci-Fi network.
(3) Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch vs. Brian Kendrick and Paul London I assume this is non-title, and JR confirms it. Kendrick held on to a side headlock, then had a clean break in the corner. Cade grabbed one of his own, but Kendrick hit a dropkick. Tag into London and they got a little double-teaming in before the five count. Cade made the tag and London took him down with an arm-drag. Cade back in, and he tossed London around a bit. London with a back-elbow out of the corner, then a springboard cross-body. Murdoch came in and Kendrick took him out. Both of the champs found themselves on the outside, and the face team dove onto both of them through the ropes. Cryme Tyme came out of the crowd and stole Murdoch’s hat and tried to sell it in the crowd. Cade was distracted by CT selling Murdoch’s hat (ended up going for $2 after CT kept bringing the price down) and Kendrick got a crucifix roll-up for the pin (even though it looked like Cade rolled out at the last second).
Winners: Kendrick and London at 3:44
-The official crowning of King Booker is next. Will Triple H show up?
-We joined Ron Simmons and Maria on their date. Simmons requested his soup be “clam,” the entree as “lamb” and “jam” with his bread. Santino came upon them, with Jillian at his side (he called her Lillian). Santino said no hard feelings with Simmons. The vegetable Simmons wanted with his entree was “yam.” Santino did the “fake stretch to put your arm on the girl” on Maria- he sat across from Simmons and next to Maria.
-Sharmell and King Booker were out, and Sharmell called Booker “the one true King of WWE.” As Booker spoke, a “Triple H” chant broke out. Booker went over the actions of Jerome Lawler last week. Video of last week aided Booker in telling the story. The King called out Hunter-Hearst Helmsley to place the crown on his head. Triple H’s music hit and an impostor came out. Giant fake nose included. The fake Triple H gladly put the crown on Booker’s head and bowed to him. Booker dismissed the doppelganger and moved on. He went out to ringside to address JR. Booker sent Tazz away so he could speak to “James” Ross. Booker gave JR a chance to redeem himself for his comments last week about Booker by kissing his ring. JR shook his head no. Booker accidentally called JR “Jerome.” He hasn’t been smooth during this segment. JR said he wouldn’t kiss the ring, so Sharmell came from behind and put his head down into the ring. Booker then knocked JR back into his seat and exited.
-Cena/Snitsky is coming up tonight! Call all your friends and tell them to tune into this one!
-Back from break, Jillian was singing at the restaurant. Maria said she didn't know they had karaoke- Santino said they didn't, she just brings the microphone wherever she goes. A "fan" came up to get Santino's autograph, but first, the fan had to read something from a piece of paper that Santino had given him earlier about how good he and Maria look together and how Santino has enormous genitals. Simmons called Santino's win over Umaga in Italy a sham.
-Carlito was in the ring set to host the Cabana, and brought out his guest, Umaga. Mostly silence from the crowd. Carlito bemoaned the fact that he didn't have a match at SummerSlam, then said he wanted an IC Title shot against Umaga. Before Umaga could answer, Kennedy's music hit and he came out. Kennedy stood up for Umaga, saying he bulldozed everyone on RAW, sans him of course. Kennedy said he did something no one else did, beat Bobby Lashley. Kennedy said he's the one that deserves a shot at the Intercontinental belt. As he was about to hit the second "Kennedy," Umaga superkicked Kennedy and Carlito fled. Umaga flipped out, destroying everything on the Cabana's set. Still not much of a reaction for any of that. As Umaga made his way up the ramp, William Regal walked out. Regal called for Kennedy vs. Carlito tonight, with the winner taking on Umaga at SummerSlam. And the match is next!
(4) Carlito vs. Mr. Kennedy, Number One Contender For the I.C. Title Match We are joined in progress out of break. Kennedy pulled the hair and brought Carlito down to the canvas. Tackle by Carlito and he went to work. He proceeded to throw Kennedy out of the ring, but Ken came back in and hit a doubleleg take-down. Carlito escaped from the squared circle and took a breather. Carlito missed an elbow thinking Kennedy was coming back into the ring. Kennedy stayed at ringside, plotting his next move. Carlito began to hammer away on Kennedy with the left hands. He caught Kennedy with a back elbow as Kennedy came off the ropes and Carlito got a near fall out of it. A version of the rear chinlock was applied by CCC. Back-body drop by Kennedy got a two-count. Back elbow (again) and clothesline out of the corner by Carlito. Kennedy, on the apron, tried to suplex Carlito out of the ring to no avail, instead, Carlito turned the tide and suplexed Kennedy back in. Bodyslam by Carlito. Elbow from the middle rope missed by the Caribbean. Right hands and forearms by Kennedy, and HE hit a back elbow on Carlito. Cover got two. Crowd isn't reacting for much tonight. Springboard elbow by Carlito missed, and Kennedy threw him shoulder first into the ring post. Kennedy went to the outside to pound on Carlito some more. Kick to the gut by Kennedy and its time for a break.
Back live, Kennedy was firmly in control back in the ring. Whip hard into the buckle by Kennedy. After another one, Kennedy began to stomp a mudhole in the left shoulder of Carlito, who was slumped in the corner. Kennedy went for a running boot but Carlito miraculously popped right up and hit a clothesline. Carlito ended up going sternum first into the post, and Kennedy set up for the Lambeau Leap, but Carlito turned it into a suplex from the top. Both men jockeyed for position on the pin, and both had their shoulders down evidently, for the pin.
Winner: Draw, about 14:00
-Don't worry, if you're just tuning in, you didn't miss Cena vs. Snitsky...it's still to come!
-Triple H returns at SummerSlam.
-Back to the date. Santino threatened to beat Simmons like a Christmas ham, "or however you say it" if he ever touched him again. Anyway, the server came back and his tray of food ended up all over Santino, who was not amused.
-JR and Tazz ran down the SummerSlam card.
-Backstage, Vince talked to Melina, while she was texting a friend. Vince wanted to make sure Melina wouldn't sue, like she said at SNME. Vince told Melina where he was staying, then turned around to see Snitsky. Snitsky said he never knew his parents or any family. He said he was going to cause Cena a lot of pain tonight.
(5) Snitsky vs. John Cena Lock-up in the center of the ring to start things off. Knee to the gut by Snitsky, then a boot in the corner. Irish whip, Cena moved out of the way on a charge and peppered Snitsky with rights, until Snitsky caught him with a boot. Elbowdrop by Snitsky. He then began to pound away on the champ, but Cena came back and went off the ropes, only to get clotheslined by Snitsky. After bringing Cena back into the ring, Snitsky went for a cover, only to get two. Snitsky caught Cena with an elbow as he was coming off the ropes. Double-underhook by Snitsky and Cena fought out. Snitsky, though, with a clothesline. I didn't know a clothesline was considered a "high-impact" maneuver. Hard Irish whip into the buckle by Snitsky. He missed the big boot in the corner though, and Cena took out his leg. To the top, legdrop on a bent-over Snitsky. He got Snitsky into the FU, but Orton came out of nowhere to hit the RKO.
Winner: Cena by DQ at 4:53
-Orton followed up with another RKO, then stared at Cena's Championship strap.
That Raw was terrible. I think time actually stood still during that awful Carlito/Kennedy match.
Once again, Booker totally owned the show. "Summer Slam Games", "Hunter Hearst Helmsley", "James Ross", and "Tazzwell" (!). He's the best thing about Raw right now, and it's all leading up to jobbing to HHH (sigh). At least it looks like Cena will retain at Summer Slam if you go by the standard WWE pre-PPV show booking.
On a scale of 1 to 10, that crowd was a 1.2 - so dead that I'm not sure the show was quite as bad as it appeared. But what a clunker for a go home show. The restaurant sketch bombed, and while King Booker rules, even he got flustered after mixing up 'Jerome' and 'J.R.' (Oh, the irony)
I guess "Umanga" is the new "Triple Haitch"? But now that they've finally selected a new GM, it would help if they stop having Vince book whoever pisses him off in a given week against UndertakerTriple HBig ShowMark HenryKaneKhaliUmaga Snitsky.
1) I'm tired of the same women's matches each week but Phoenix doing that suplex on the ropes was one of the best women's wrestling moves the WWE has seen in a long time.
2) Snitsky, they just don't have anything for him on Raw right now. Perhaps with their former monster heel Umaga going to a face, Snitsky will become the monster heel of Raw. He's like Mark Henry on Smackdown, just no story line right now.
3) Good hype for HHH vs Booker. 99 percent chance HHH wins at Summerslam.
4) You would never know that Coachman got a demotion on Raw a few weeks ago. He's getting more airtime now than before.
5) Carlito vs Kennedy - the crowd was dead. Totally dead for this. Carlito was pretty much carrying the match for Kennedy. Carito was doing all the work for this match. God, I hope Kennedy doesn't end up being "McMahon's son"
6) Retire Lawler and gives us Tazz. Tazz is really a good commentator.
7) How many times are we going to see Orton RKO Cena? Thank goodness not for long. The RKO has to be one of the most lamest finishing moves out there.
I don't mind Booker jobbing to Triple H on Sunday that much, because you can't job the returning star. But considering that he's been absolute GOLD since jumping back to Raw, I'm really hoping someone takes a second look at Booker and considers giving him another title run. Orton's been decent, but Booker deserves to unseat Cena a whole lot more. The king gimmick is something that should have been growing mold by now, but Booker's given it an incredible shelf life and has made it consistently entertaining. "Tazzwell" was just awesomeness.
Ok, the Snitsky mystique is now gone after Cena pretty much had him beat. Can we PLEASE send him back to Heat and never see him again?
Santino's become one of my favorites on Raw right now and a lot of that credit should go to Regal. Those two have some great chemistry and I hope their interaction doesn't stop anytime soon.
For two guys that are supposed to be the future of the company, Kennedy and Carlito sure had themselves a bad match, didn't they?
TWGTT deserves a lot better than to be doing cheap jobs to an unseasoned Cody Rhodes. I'm sorry, but Dusty's kid just bores me to tears right now.
Speaking of people who bore me to tears, we should start coping with the idea of World Champion Randy Orton now, shouldn't we?
- Poor Shelton. I honestly don't know if he )or his partner) will survive the next round of cuts.
- On paper, the 3 way IC match seems OK, but it involves a guy the fans want to cheer, but are supposed to boo, a guy they are not sure if they should boo or cheer, and a lazy underachiever. That makes for an apathetic crowd. I am glad to see the IC belt defended on a big PPV at least.
- Santino Marella: C*ck Blocker Extraodinaire. This reminds me of how Carlito got over while he was injured a few years ago while he petitioned to have Teddy removed as SD! GM. I actually can't remember if Santino was any good in the ring, as he seemed to usually just get his ass kicked against "Youmanga" and Masters. I remember him in OVW where he played sort of a Russian Taz, if I am not mistaken, and he was pretty decent.
- Regardless of calling JR "Jerome", Booker was still on last night. "Tazzwell" was the line of the night. I am curious if Book comes up with a lot of his own stuff, or if he works off of a script? It is CRIMINAL that he is going to job to HHH, as he has become Raw's MVP after being the MVP of SD! before coming over. He has made their match the main event in my eyes, and what has HHH contributed? If he loses, the King gimmick seems like it should be over, which would suck.
Bottom line: For the 3rd week in a row, Booker and Santino are still the reasons to tune in.
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Originally posted by kentishRegardless of calling JR "Jerome", Booker was still on last night. "Tazzwell" was the line of the night. I am curious if Book comes up with a lot of his own stuff, or if he works off of a script? It is CRIMINAL that he is going to job to HHH, as he has become Raw's MVP after being the MVP of SD! before coming over. He has made their match the main event in my eyes, and what has HHH contributed? If he loses, the King gimmick seems like it should be over, which would suck.
Sharmell kills it for me, personally. Replace her with Stevie Ray, and you have Fruit-Booty goodness. I guess whoever's mom Vince did gets an instant feud with Shane?
When I saw the WGTT beatdown of Cody Rhodes, all I could think of was how this smells like a rehash of Dusty coming back to be his partner (shades of the whole scenario where Dusty offered to be Dustin's partner several years ago after he was heeled by Arn Anderson).
Just a thought, but Randy Orton & the WGTT would make an awesome stable.
I watched for the first time in a while (I'd seen bits but this was the first beginning to end show).
- Sure there's some entertaining moments from the angle (Daivari and Vince), but the McMahon kid angle feels like a giant clunker.
- If Orton wasn't Orton I might be looking forward to the match this weekend. The buildup is solid, and he's doing good little things to make it work, but in the end you know the match will end with either Orton or Cena winning, neither of which makes me very excited.
- Booker is awesome. "Tazzwell" shall be remembered for years to come by nerds like me.
- I'm glad they found a use for Santino, obnoxious Eurotrash. I would give a kidney for an extended series of promos of him and Regal antagonizing each other.
- I have to give her credit. Candace isn't exactly good, but it is obvious she is trying to improve, and I think the improvement is noticeable. She could have just hung around being hot, but she seems to care and want to be good.
Originally posted by Brian P. DermodyAnd trying to sell us "The Undefeated Snitsky" is just horseshit. They know better.
McMAHON: So tonight John Cena, it will be YOU! Going one on one against... The Undefeated SNITSKY!!!
Booker T is always gold. This is a guy that just GETS IT, youknowhatImean? Decent to good matches, awesome on the mic, awesome with the facial expressions, awesome top to bottom. I'm also not looking forward to seeing him job to HHH (not that I'll actually SEE it happen, but you know). If it was anybody else, I wouldnt mind. But I have a feeling that once he loses, either this royalty gimmick is over, or he'll be off TV for a long time, or he'll actually enter a program with HHH where he'll just be made to look inferior over and over. Maybe I'm being too negative, but I'm just having a hard time getting my hopes up.
I still like Santino, but I think his streak of funny skits ended with last night's "date". I just couldnt get into that at all. And as much as I hate to say it, JAM! HAM! SPAM! LAMB! SAM! SCRAM! is getting really old. And how come Ron's "DAMN" shirts dont have that annoying WWE logo on them but the ones they sell on the website do??
Originally posted by spfSure there's some entertaining moments from the angle (Daivari and Vince), but the McMahon kid angle feels like a giant clunker.
Daivari's been on a mini streak on Heat and I think this was the third time he's popped up during a 'Who's Vince's Kid' segment. It feels like they're pushing him as the illegitimate McMahon, to me, with a soft sell. Like how Lawler soft sells which outfits the diva will wear during the Cyber Sunday PPVs.
If this is happening, where the hell does THAT lead to. All I can think of is another terrorism angle and that didn't work well when they had Mohammad Hassan.
I understood why 'Damn' was kind of funny because Simmons used to say it every so often and it was an easy way to end a goofy sketch, but why do or did people find the whole ham, jam, spam thing funny?
If Santino really wanted to scare sweet innocent Maria away from Ron he could always pull out one of Ron's old 'Always Pounding Ass' shirts.
Originally posted by BigDaddyLocoI understood why 'Damn' was kind of funny because Simmons used to say it every so often and it was an easy way to end a goofy sketch, but why do or did people find the whole ham, jam, spam thing funny?
If Santino really wanted to scare sweet innocent Maria away from Ron he could always pull out one of Ron's old 'Always Pounding Ass' shirts.
I stare at you for a few moments, wondering if you're serious about that, and the expression on my face moves from astonishment to incredulity to amusement and finally to pity all in the course of three or four seconds. By the time my expression has settled into my face, I look like I'm embarrassed to be in the same room with you or even know you. Finally, I can only think of one word in which to sum up my feelings.
...Yup, gotta go with "DAMN!" as the ultimate punchline.
[Edited; I misread his post the first time]
(edited by ekedolphin on 22.8.07 0157) "Forget belief systems. Forget about the parameters of rational thought as it so smugly is called. Feel, my friend-- feel!" --KARR, Knight Rider episode "KITT vs. KARR"
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