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The W - Pro Wrestling - RAW #673 04/17/06
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Mr Heel II
Lap cheong

Since: 25.2.02

Since last post: 30 days
Last activity: 22 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.76
Okay, figured I'd take a shot at this. Don't'll suck...

Your hosts are Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman, and Jerry "The King" Lawler. But there's no time to talk, because here's Vince.

Vince: "The question is...will Mr. McMahon go to hell?

(Crowd: Yeah!)

Let me repeat that question...Will Mr. McMahon go to hell?"

(Crowd: "Yeah!")

Mr. McMahon is out to set the crowd straight on that. He's NOT going to Hell. He was already there this morning. His driver got lost and he ended up in East St. Louis. Also, he believes in all religions. And he's starting his own. It's called "McMahonism". The concept: Vince is the Lord, Master, and God, of all sports entertainment, and all who participate (either in the ring or buying tickets). "YOU WILL WORSHIP ME!"

Then we get some humorous parodies of various religious scenes with Vince thrown into them, some commandments ("Do not covet thy neighbor's wife...unless she's really hot."), and more talk. Crowd: "BOR-ING". McMahon: "I assure you this isn't boring."

Oh...There's a point to all of this...Vince is publicly inviting all to convert and be diciples of McMahonism. Yet there's one who will not convert. Shane? Oh...Shawn. I was close. That's okay...When he and Shane are done with him at Backlash, Shawn will change. The God of McMahonism guarantees victory at Backlash. The crowd is CHEERING! Oh, that's because Shawn has snuck in the ring out of shot. He plants a superkick and dances in his sacred blue jeans, leaves, then comes back and does a DX sign and probably says "Suck it". I suppose Hot Topic owes him a check for that.

We are LIVE from the sold out SAVVIS Center in St. Louis. Except for this repeat of Shawn sneaking in. Oh...We're live again. Vince is angry. HHH asks if he's alright and suggests he "lay off this God stuff". "You think I'm not a God among men? That's what I am! A GOD among men!" "What was it you said last week? You called me an old man! A feeble old man" "No, I never said you were 'feeble'." Vince teams up Edge and John Cena against HHH. HHH looks no more suprised than the speculators in last week's RAW thread, but he looks pissed.

Meanwhile in the ring, "I'm Rob Conway, damnit! And next person who disrespects me will..." BOOM! Here's Kane. And eighteen minutes in, this is our first official match! Well, it's not really a match. Thanks for coming, Rob. Kane goes to Lillian Garcia. "Why did you tell everyone about May 19th?" Then he picks her up for the chokeslam as she screams in horror. Big Show comes out as Kane's got his hand halfway up Lillian's ass. Lillian gets dropped to the floor as Kane heads for the ring, and Kane comes in to try and reason. They argue, they both go for the chokeslam, and this time, Big Show wins. Big show leaves Kane laying, but Kane rises up and laughs as Big Show leaves, paying no attention whatsoever.

I wonder if this is easier to do recorded? Naah.

Chavo is backstage to "bear his soul to Jim Ross". A recap of how Chavo has become the embarrassment of the Guerrerro family (says Coach).

Ross summarizes the events where Chavo challenged Shelton, lost, and quit. Has Chavo reconsidered? Yes, he has. It was made too hastily. But the more he thinks about it, he made a promise, and he let Eddie and everybody down. But his loss sums everything up, and he feels he made the right decision. Ross: "But you're quitting your life's work. Do you think Eddie would approve?" "Eddie and I stood by each other. I think he would be disgusted with my loss. It made me reconsider my life. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a wrestler." He's going for his real estate license. Ross asks him to reconsider. Chavo: "As much as it kills me to say this, I just feel my wresting career has come to an end."

Subway presents the RAW something of the week! I didn't catch what the "something" was. Anyway, it featured RVD. RVD should do Subway commercials. Van Daminator to the head of Jared with a Veggie Delight! Oooh. Colorful.

Coach announces himself as the new ring announcer. He announces the stipulations for the next match, which is a "Is the briefcase or the I-C title on the line at Backlash" match. RVD has chosen a surprise opponent for Benjamin, and it's...CHARLIE HAAS! Joey apparently knows Haas was once Benjamin's partner. The crowd has NO idea who he is. Or maybe they just can't remember what a "tag team" is. Haas gets some nifty offense in including a nice dropkick and a clothesline over the top rope. The match moves outside for some chops. "Did you forget about me?" Haas yells. Haas gets caught coming back in and it's all Shelton from there except for that one part where Haas gets the obligatory brief comeback. Sheton mocks RVD by using Rolling Thunder. Shelton gets cocky right up until the surpise rollup where Haas gets the pin! Shelton will defend the I-C title at Backlash! Oh...and tickets are on sale for Kennewick Washington this weekend. I went there on a high school band trip once. My band teacher had previously teached there, and he felt like he needed to show his old kids how much cooler we were than they were. We were just happy to be in a town that had a McDonald's.

During Unlimited, Maria did the kiss cam. Some cows mooched. Here's Vince and some ice. And that Armando Anhydrous Estrada guy. He's converted to McMahonism, and wants to make a special donation of Umaga to wrestle Shawn Michaels. That match is NEXT! But wait there's MORE! Shelton is in. He begs McMahon to call off his I-C title defense. He saw a light that led him straight to Vince. McMahonism helped him see the light! Vince might be able to help him. "I do kind of like people on their knees before me." Shelton looks a little uncomfortable.

Umaga made his entrance before the break. He's been out there for like three minutes now and he's not outta here. But Joey and Jerry (wearing one of Rock's old shirts) hog the camera and recap McMahon and Michaels again. Then they preview the main event. Meanwhile, Umaga is STILL in the ring with his entrance music playing. Did Michaels leave or something? Are we just killing time here? Oh...Here he comes.

Michaels chops, Umaga swings and misses, Michaels punches and heads for the ropes, and Umaga clotheslines him. Umaga superkicks Michaels straight out of the ring. And here comes Vince. Michaels is laid out on the announcer table as Vince walks up and takes a chair. He's going to use it to...sit down. Does he have a microphone? Yes he does. He puts it under the chair for future use. Michaels and Umaga are back in the ring with Umaga dominating. Michaels eventually comes back with some punches that makes Umaga wobbly, but he doesn't fall, and is back in control in short order. Michaels to the corner, some chops, and Michaels gets some offense in again, but Umaga gets him in the corner. Michaels comes back. Flying elbow. Tune up the band. Vince and Armando each grab one of Michaels' feet. Michaels gets out of the way as Umaga comes in for the squash. Then Michaels somehow ends up upside down in the opposite corner, and Umaga goes nuts crushing Michaels, beating him...Ref tries to get in the way and Umaga throws him out. Umaga is disqualified. Umaga uses his taped thumb on Michaels, and Vince grabs his mic. "You've done what I asked you to do. Get the hell out." McMahon has Michaels tied up in the ropes looking very much crucified and is going back for his STEEL chair, and an explosion keeps McMahon from entering the ring! Then another one! McMahon freaks out and leaves. At the top of the ramp, he turns around like he's coming back and another explosion stops him and FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!! THAT was cool.

We're back live just in time to watch a repeat of what we've just seen! McMahon is shown leaving the building in his limo at a high rate of speed.

The NFL Films announcer presents the RAW "Here's when Wrestling was Cool" moment of the week! It's a Rock and Stone Cold segment where Rock has the skull belt and Austin has a monster truck that can (and does) crush Rock's car.

Coach announces "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Matt Striker!" Striker is in the ring with his chalk board, desk, and American flag. Striker talks about how Stone Cold and the Rock suck. He's angry that his students used to be able to tell him what was on RAW, but knew nothing about the Bill of Rights. Then he gets some cheap heat on St. Louis, calling it the "epicenter of ignorance". "Because you're more concerned with being cool, than you are with being smart." "School is cool. If you disagree with me...then I am forced to give each and every one of you an F".

Here's Carlito. The crowd isn't sure how to react to him. Striker isn't sure what to do with him either.

(Striker) "May I help you young man?"

(Carlito) "Carlito was backstage looking for his apple, only to find out you stole Carlito's apple for your little classroom thing."

Carlito always felt it was more important to be cool. He tried to explain it to his teachers, but they were like Striker..."Stupid". Carlito tells him about spitting an apple in his teacher's face. He's kept an apple ever since. Striker looks like his teacher, and he wants to relive that day one more time. Striker demands he put the apple down. Striker: "I have an analogy..." Carlito: "An anal what?!?" Striker says something about giving him "the worst beating of his entire life" and Carlito spits the apple. The fight is on just long enough for Chris Masters to sneak in and put on the Masterlock. HA HA HA HA! Dumbass.

RAW is LIVE from London next week! Cripes...they get more TV tapings than most US cities anymore.

RVD is coming to the ring for a handicap match. His brief case has a sweet paint job with RVD on one side and "Mr. Money in the Bank" on the other. His opponents are the World Tag Team Champions (and Coach's "personal favorites"), the Spirit Squad. I guess he's wrestling all five. Apparently if RVD loses, his Money in the Bank contract is on the line at Backlash as WELL as the I-C title. The match is a short-term mugging. Spirit Squad wins. So the match at Backlash is Winner Take All. If it ends in a draw, they'll have a shootout. I hope Belfour isn't in goal.

Trish Stratus as Mickie James is with Maria. She has a fricking awesome surprise...NEXT! Maria is sad.

The April issue of RAW magazine has an interview with Edge! I was hoping Mr. Wrestling II.

Trish is in the ring with a large present box and calls Mickie out.

Trish raises the box and inside is her old boyfriend Jack! He's all tied up. "I guess you could say I got you a Jack in the box." She takes the gag out of his mouth and he says "I think both you bitches are crazy!"

Trish says if Mickie really thinks she's Trish, she'll care what happens to Jack. But if she doesn't, she can stop "acting like Trish, dressing like Trish, and being like Trish."

Mickie acts sheepish, then says "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND!" and rushes the ring. Mickie gets her ass kicked. Trish leaves, Mickie is laying in the ring looking angry, and Jack is all tied up. Mickie: "Jack! Are you okay? Are you alright? I'm so sorry baby. (dramatic pause) "You cheated on me you bastard! Kick to the head. "NOBODY CHEATS ON ME!!!!"

Edge and Lita are backstage. HHH arrives. Edge gloats. HHH wonders aloud why Cena wouldn't stab Edge in the back tonight like Cena stabbed HHH in the back last week. "Cena is the one who took your title, and you haven't done a damn thing about it."

Earlier tonight, Lillian got manhandled by Kane. This is brought up again so the announcers can lead into the "See no Evil" promo, which debuts May 19. Director Gregory Dark says "I think fans of Kane are going to love Jacob Goodnight". Announcers shill "See no Evil", then shill the theme song from Backlash, then shill Backlash.

Edge (with Lita) enters the ring before the commercial break so that he and Lita have plenty of time to make out before the match. Cena and HHH get their entrances after the break. HHH is introduced first, THEN Edge's partner Cena. HUH?!?

HHH immediately puts boots to Cena, then punches to the head. Cena reverses a swing to the ropes and manages a suplex and a pin attempt. REST HOLD! Swing to the ropes and HHH gets an elbow to Cena's face, then more punches and a suplex. Then HHH does a DX chop! PLEASE tell me Chyna's not returning. Cena gets the advantage and does "U Can't See Me" but HHH gets the advantage anyway. Edge blind-tags himself in. HHH gets a few shots, some reversals...I can't call the moves. I can't even type at the pace of the action. This sucks. Cena is back in the ring and HHH is going for a pedigree but Cena blocks and is going for the F-U. Doesn't happen. Cena, Edge, and the ref are down, and HHH is going for his sledgehammer. Cena goes down. Edge spears HHH. Ref is in...Edge pins HHH!!!

Edge and Lita gloat from the top of the ramp.

Thanks for coming.

(Belated apology to jwrestle...I assumed everybody else had given up.)

(edited by Mr Heel II on 17.4.06 2247)
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Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 10 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.43
The opening interview segment is what happens when you're the only game in town. If WCW were still around, would Vince still be doing these self-fellating segments?....The Kane segment was okay, given what they have to work with....At least Chavo's interview didn't end with him beating up JR, which was what I was afraid of....

Charlie looks a bit more, um, "built" then I remember. Still good seeing him back anyway. Good match....Umaga v.s Michaels wasn't too bad, but the "sign" from the Lord God was surely something. What, I'm not sure....The Carlito/Masters/Striker segment was okay, and I liked them getting someone else involved....

RVD/Spirit Squad was kind of dumb. I hate when they do stuff like this- "this match he didn't get his way, so this OTHER match matters now"....I like how Jack got one of the bigger pops of the night with his comment....The main event was okay, but I'm losing interest in these guys with all this handicap match stuff.

College, sports and more!: Experience It

Lap cheong

Since: 4.4.03
From: Nitro WV

Since last post: 80 days
Last activity: 75 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.98
I must have missed the usually Lillian, Coach, King, and Joey out on Unlimited. Well, we'll skip that this week.

It's time to wake up! We're LIVE in St. Louis

Vinnie Mac's music starts out the show as he struts to the ring. Will Vince go to hell? Fans say yes. So Shane asked him last week if he's going to hell. Well apparently Vince is saying he's not going to hell. He's already been there and it's East St. Louis, great cheap heat. So Vince has created his own religion and everybody worships him. Hmm...this is creepy. Graphic of him on the ceiling of the Systien Chapel, Vince 10 commandments. Great Vince at the "Last Supper" ok folks I'm turning this off but he keeps jumping around to other religions. Vince should take a hint from the crowd when they start chanting "Boring". Vince making a point on freedoms. Ok, he's being patriotic. He just turned the WWE into a wrestling a religion? So he's basically going to show HBK a sign as being a "God" of sorts. PRAISE THE SUPERKICK! HBK out of the crowd with a superkick to the mush of Vince to finally end the begining rant by Vince. HBK wait for Vince to wake up then runs back and give him the X Crotch chop. That leads to our first Ad break.

UNLIMITED: Refs get Vince up and to the back. Rob Conway comes out and enters the ring.

We're Back: Review of before the break. HBK with Sweet Chin Music. HHH in back run into Vince being helped by the refs. Umm...Vince remembers last week. Finally we get the trifecta match with Cena and Edge vs HHH booked as the main event. This should be fun. WHOA! HELLFIRE and BRIMSTONE! Kane is out to shut up Rob Conways. Kane hear's voices in his head, and so do we all when we watch WWE. It was better than him just stumbling around the back holding his head after I saw it. Kane is back in Monster mode. Well, four move match to a Choke Slam to Hell excuse me King. Kane like Lillian. Lillian getting choked by Kane into the slam position as we get a small delay on the Show rescue. Show still trying to figure out why Kane has lost it. May 19th is when Kane goes crazy when his movie BUSTS. Show with the Chokeslam and as Show makes his way out Kane sits back up with a wierd smile on his face. Build up for Backlash leads us to Ad Break.

UNLIMITED: Great...See No Evil Trailor.

We're Back: Chavo interview with JR on why he quit after losing to Shelton for the IC strap. Review of the match and the Unlimited segment on giving up. He's going to be the let down of the family now. JR asking questions. Chavo responding to being a letdown but might not quit. Eddie whouldn't be upset with a loss. Chavo looks like he's going to he really going to leave? JR trying to talk sence into Chavo. Turn?'s time for Chavo to go. Chavo retiring?!? He done? Where is this going to go or was this serious with JR being there. I have to many questions. Ad Break

UNLIMITED: MARIA is out for the KISS CAM! Two guys in a Cow suits kiss...guy towards the end Kiss his girl as he looks down her low low cut shirt.

We're Back: Review of RVD winning MITB latter match. Lillian out...Coach in. Oh boy it's double duty for the Coach. Non-title match with stipulations. If Shelton wins he wrestles for the MINB at Backlash and if RVD hand picked opponet wins then RVD gets a shot at the IC strap. Music hits and it's CHARLIE HAAS! Shelton's eyes bug out. Charlie gets most of the early offence of as Shelton takes over that match after he counters Haas. Shetlon tying him up in the ropes and choking him with basic heel tatics. They go to the outside and for some ring action. Whip off the ropes and counters a dragon whip. Back drops and clothelines by Haas. Missed dropkick and Shelton with a backdrop. Styles calling it a belly to back suplex. Rolling thunder by Shelton on Haas. Slaping Haas in the corner. Stinger splash into the spin kick by Shelton. Climbing the rope. Shelton with role through and Haas with a double leg take down into role over pin for the 3 count! Shelton shocked as they plug the main event. Show divas in New York. Ad Break.

UNLIMITED: Signs of the Night! Cookie MONSTER is over! Whoa! Todd says RAW is the A show! Smackdown is the B show oh man I didn't just hear that, TELL ME I DIDN'T just hear that! Suck it TODD!

We're Back: they didn't that was two breaks ago. They plug the kiss cam. It's Vince and Armondo is in Vince's presence. Umaga is a donation to Vince?!? HBK vs Umaga?!? Unstopable? Hmm...Umaga going down to HBK. No everybody is converting to Vince...umm Vince likes people on there knee's before him. I'm not going to touch that either. Review of Umaga offing Flair in wrestling sence.

UNLIMITED: Promo by Armondo talking about Umaga getting Flair and now putting HBK back on the road to "hell".

We're Back: Umaga in the ring and another review of HBK superkick. HBK makes his entrance. Basic Somoan moves with an HBK comeback...wait that was cool the Tree of Woe with headbutts. A DQ on Umaga with Vince tying up HBK in the ring. Explosions as he trys to get in the ring...IT'S A GOD RUN IN with fire at the entrance ramp to prevent him from going back.

UNLIMITED: I missed it was on the phone.

We're back: Hey it's Matt Striker out on a class room. He's talking about Monday Night Raw and History and how his kids could remember that better than history. Great...a Faris Beuler refernce. Out come Carlito and they go back and forth with some Anal reference. Masters is out and locks Carlito in the Masterlock! They remind us they meet at backlash. Ad Break.

UNLIMITED: Goldust and Snitskey explaining something to Candice Michele and she does everything once. It's freaky was Ted is in the back ground reading the paper and does his laugh at the end. Great funny stuff.

We're back: ONE OF KIND! RVD is out, "Mr. Money In The Bank!" With additions to the briefcase. The world tag team champions the Spirit Squad. Five on one and RVD getting the best of the Spirt Squad for a few moments. The HIGH SPIRITS move followed by the leg drop and RVD goes down. IC vs MITB at backlash when Shelton and RVD meet with winner take all. Hey is Trish, Mickie, Stratus. Jeez that's a nice tight shirt...bust galore. She's got a Surprise for Mickie, Trish, James. Is anyone cofused yet? Ad break.

UNLIMITED: It's a Sprit Squad celebration cheer. Funny RVD is like fighting a girl. We're the world tag team champions the SPIRIT SQUAD.

We're Back: Trish, Mickie, Stratus is out. Present time again folks. Why is this stuff good? The best thing on Raw right now is this. Mickie, Trish, James is out with a wierd look on her face. She doesn't want the present. It's Jeff the...what Jack in Box? Trish giving one hell of a promo on Mickie. Mickie is nuts...I agree with Joey a rubber room in the nut house sounds great. So he cheated on her. Nice. We're in the back and Edge hugging on Lita. HHH walks in and makes points to Edge. Ad Break

UNLIMITED: WWE Triva give away. Here we go. Harley Race won his last NWA world title against Ric Flair. That guy knows nothing. Hell in cell debut at a Bad Blood. I thought it was an IYH. Oh well.

We're Back: Review of Kane snapping. See No Evil trailor. Well...I'm almost sold on it. Backlash theme kicks in and it's Baby Hate Me and we see what is booked for Backlash. Edge is OUT with Booby prize. Ad Break runs in.

UNLIMITED: Edge Lita does the dirty work. Talks about Saint Louis.

We're Back: TTTTTTTTIMMMMME TO PLLLLLLLLLAYYY THE GAME!!! HHH is out without the King of Kings theme. Guitar rip and water spit! TIME TO PLAY THE GAME! HAHAHA! Cena music hits and he's out! Crowd with a fair pop after weeks of booing. Makes me wonder how bad the 23 Mania DVD will be edited. HHH starts out hammering Cena. Headlock on the canvas as they work there way up. Shooting off the ropes. Crowd is turning again...wonder if the back listening. WTF there is another crotch chop. Are we going to see a DX 2? Are we getting hints of a new formation? Hmm...I could start the rumor here. It's loud and most of the crowd can't see Cena as HHH counters a into a spinbuster. Blind tag and HHH and Cena go at it. Spinbuster then Neckbreaker with follow up 2 count. Knee to face with the crusher. HHH sends Cena into both Edge and the ref. HHH is pulling out sledgy! SLEDGY POPS THE CROWD! Spear to HHH 1...2...3! Wait didn't he say he'd win earlier? Great. Now they've all won handy cap matches. Two weeks at Backlash it's 3 way dance/Triple Threat Match. Copywright Logo and fade to black.

I'm hooked on the women stuff. Main event stuff could be a little bit better but I'm good. Nice to see Haas back. RVD goes down to the 5 on one mafia style match. That's what I'm going to start calling it. The Mafia about you all?

(edited by jwrestle on 17.4.06 2312)

If you can't beat'em whack'em with a chair!
Lap cheong

Since: 2.1.02
From: Blacksburg VA

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.51
Was it me, or was McMahon limping pretty heavily after the segement with Michaels and "god"? Uh oh.

Since: 9.7.02
From: Sleep (That's where I'm a viking)

Since last post: 2101 days
Last activity: 1230 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.53
"Hell in cell debut at a Bad Blood. I thought it was an IYH."

The show was called In Your House: Badd Blood, so you're BOTH right!

I thought it was a good show. Didn't recognize Jack at first, but Trish/Mickie's "Jack in the box" line was good. That has really turned into a fantastic storyline.

I'm still digging the main event stuff, but I want those guys kept far away from each other next week. Five matches in five weeks with the same three guys would probably be too many.

This will get added at the end of each post you make, below an horizontal line. This should preferably be kept to a small enough size.
Packman V2

Since: 16.3.04
From: Albuquerque, NM

Since last post: 123 days
Last activity: 5 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.21
Thanks to the magic of TIVO, I didnt get the first hour, and came in when El Pimpo De Cubano was making a deal with Vinny Mac. The diva stuff was cool, and I thought the line of the night was when Carlito was telling the story about spitting in his teacher's face.

"The principal came up to me and said, 'good job' just kidding, Carlito got expelled." That had me in stitches.

Other than that, not much to comment about, was pretty much pissed about my TIVO not recording it like it has since...well I had tivo.

Kane Is Ugly

Since: 14.7.03
From: Uglyville

Since last post: 4008 days
Last activity: 3994 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.62
I think the Mickie James/Trish Stratus storyline is the best angle going right now. Its so amazing. I couldnt stop laughing at "I think both of you bitches are crazy!" Good stuff.

Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 23 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.07
It was really nice of Jack to hold the tape in his mouth so it wouldn't fall off.

I was getting jealous for the long amount of time Kane got to keep his hand on Lillian's ass. Sure Kane is a complete psychopath that was wanting to break Lillian in half.....but at the same time he tried to be quite the gentleman while holding her up and trying to keep her skirt held down at the same time.

"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong." - Stifler, American Wedding

Since: 20.6.02

Since last post: 1454 days
Last activity: 1448 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.71
Due to Canadian regulations, we didn't see what (almost?) happened to Lillian Garcia.

Two things three things stuck out for me:

I got a kick out of the Carlito/Striker exchange. You can tell that Carlito is still playing the heel role, but is enjoying the face reaction. I can't wait to see what he's capable of. A friend of mine suggested that the more Carlito's hair grows...the better his interviews get.

Number two: Mickie Stratus...or is that Trish James? One or the other: its one of the best things on WWE programming right now. THe guy playing the boyfriend took the Mick Kick like a champ.

Number three: Edge's psychology toward the end of the handicap match. Slumping away as Triple H was approaching him...and the blasting him with the Spear? Brilliant. I'd like to see an extended feud between these two.

I'm not happy with the religion interplay, but some people would suggest that God has a wonderful sense of humour, so I'm guessing that He's laughing at this.

"At the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe." -- Bruce Springsteen

Since: 28.1.02
From: Louisville, KY

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 8 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.63
    Originally posted by Oliver
    some people would suggest that God has a wonderful sense of humour, so I'm guessing that He's laughing at this.

Some people would suggest that God doesn't take kindly to being mocked and the last time someone set up an image in place of him (a golden calf), he got got out a diety sized can of whoop-ass. In a falls count anywhere, 3 falls to a finish, the good Lord busted the tablets of the Ten commandments (it doesn't say, but I am betting over the head of some heel), wasted about a third of the Hebrews there (the Hebrews were one of the first known stables and The Almighty was partners with them before their heel turn) with some sort of incredible chair shot, then hit 'em so hard that they wandered around the ring for what seemed like 40 years.

The good news is, the Hebrews finally turned back face and realligned with the Lord. But they were always Tweeners, so every so often He had to get in there and teach 'em a lesson. But I always enjoyed their Classic, and I mean Classic Feud with those mega heels, the Phillistines. You do know Andre the Giant's grandfather was in that Fed right?

Ok, I'm done

(edited by AWArulz on 18.4.06 0654)

We'll be back right after order has been restored here in the Omni Center.

Since: 18.2.04
From: The Houston 'burbs

Since last post: 1623 days
Last activity: 1147 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
- I just couldn't help but think that Edge and Lita are going to be the Billy Gunn/Chyna replacements in the (likely) revamped DX.

- Edge wins this week = No title win at the PPV. Thanks for playing.

- And was it just me, or did Mickey's left nipple make a very welcome appearance? (At the very end when she was kneeling near the ropes).

"Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought this on" - Tony Soprano

Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 3570 days
Last activity: 3504 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.28
Why does Edge's win mean he's not getting the title? There's still a week of TV to go, and all three of the ME participants have now scored a pin in this handicap match series. I'm curious as to your logic.

To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires, and lights, in a box.-Edward R. Murrow

Since: 18.2.04
From: The Houston 'burbs

Since last post: 1623 days
Last activity: 1147 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.00
    Originally posted by oldschoolhero
    Why does Edge's win mean he's not getting the title? There's still a week of TV to go, and all three of the ME participants have now scored a pin in this handicap match series. I'm curious as to your logic.

Past history almost always indicates that the one who gets the win closest to the PPV usually lays down at the show.

"Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought this on" - Tony Soprano

Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 3570 days
Last activity: 3504 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.28
Not true. He who is left standing the week before the show, be it in the context of a match or some other kind of confrontation, is historically the guy with the least chance of winning on the following Sunday. I don't think Edge will win either, but it's not because they booked him to go over tonight.

To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires, and lights, in a box.-Edward R. Murrow

Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 1554 days
Last activity: 807 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.05
I agree, "think both of you bitches are crazy" was the line of the night. I have yet to see him in the ring, but Stryker has the look and mic skills. The stuff with Vince and God is just stupid, and I am sure the guys at WrestleCrap can't wait to induct that turd. They really should put the belt back on Edge, as he and Lita are the freshest thing going right now, and I think they can really run with the ball, if HHH lets them (yeah right). That being said, I am starting to like the tweener role for Cena, as he is getting the loudest reactions, even if it is mixed. But he is still too green in the ring, and should not be on top. Great to see Haas back, that was a nifty little TV match. I hope it leads to something for him.

The only reason you're not unconscious, is because I don't want to carry you.

Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 2063 days
Last activity: 2063 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.39
I think the Vince McMahon religion is a brilliant idea. If it gets recognized, that means tickets/dvds/ppvs/and other merchandise purchase can be used as tax write-offs for donations to a religious organization. Actually, I'm shocked it took Vince this long to think up this potential tax dodge.
4 guys holding up RVD while he takes the Super Texas Trash Compactor was impressive.
Abdullah the Butcher desperately needs to be inside the box one of these days. Thought it was going to be Mickie's 'old grandpappy' that Trish had in the box though.
Coach actually is competent as a ring announcer. Give him that job and take him off color.
Instead of Boring, the fans should have chanted We Want Nitro to really piss off Vince.
Was there a hidden message to the Birmingham, England coming events ad having Eugene pictured, considering what happened last time he was in England?
Very nice match between Haas and Benjamin. Wouldn't mind seeing them involved in an I-C feud for a few months.
When the finishes to matches are so obvious that the wrestlers state on TV before the match how it will end, it is a signal that creative isn't being that creative.

Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 522 days
Last activity: 15 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.04
I get the feeling that "GOD" is going to turn out to be an acronym for "Good Old Degenerates" or something of that nature.

I certainly am hoping it's NOT ... I recall the last time they even teased that stunt in 2002 with Michaels and Helmsley, with Triple H doing the "LET'S GET READY TO SUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ITTTTTT!" routine and it felt old the FIRST TIME.

Despite not being excited about the reunion itself, I am LOVING the subtle hints they're dropping along the way .... It's fascinating to watch it play out, since I can't for the life of me figure out how (or if) they'll pull the trigger on the DX angle.

Since: 1.5.03
From: Gainesville, FL.

Since last post: 4098 days
Last activity: 4085 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.81
The show was a little better in theory than in execution, a lot of it was the crowd not knowing how to respond.

-The McMahon stuff on paper sounds funny. But it fell over flat and drug a little. Also, were we supposed to laugh? McMahon is the evil heel and he's doing basically a Rock.Foley gimmick out there with the pics. Bad thinking. Also, did you notice how different the boos were when he lampooned the Last Supper and the Pope? The crowd sounded especially unhappy with that, those are two figures that even the most easy going of Christians aren't going to take kindly to being mocked.
-I like how H told VKM to cool down on the religious stuff. Has to be and inside joke, H calls himself the 'King of Kings,' a direct parallel to Jesus. I guess the idea is that if even Hunter is offended...
-The Chavo interview was better than it should have been. I wonder where it's going to go, I don't see Chavo Guerrero: Main Eventer taking off anytime soon.
-Benjamin v. Haas was okay, could have been better. Good to see Charlie back, good to see him going over, but what now? I'm not sure Benjy should have lose clean gearing up to Backlash.
-I like the heels converting to McMahon-ism. Heels should be corrupt enough to do or say anything to get ahead.
-The Umago match was pretty good. He HAS improved. The wacky pyro stuff was whatever and makes me think that Vince will shadow wrestle God at Backlash. Think: Michals get knocked out, a 'tag' is made. McMahon proceeds to do a test of strength with God. They could make that match really over the top and funny if they care to. Hopefully, the crowd will play along with it and be into it. If they're disinterested, the match will die, but if the crowd is I dunno, chanting for God to tag in, the atmosphere could turn it into something cool.
-The thing I like best about the Striker thing was that he stole Carlito's prop. It was like Carlito wasn't planning on coming out, but noticed Striker took his apple, so he had to wander out. That just seemed funny to me. We rarely get reasons for when guys interrupt other guys.
-The Spirit Squad are getting over. Kudos to them for taking a gimmick and running with it. They were given chances and high profile slots to get attention and they've done a good job. A lot of us were wrong about them. I don't have a problem with RVD losing, it was 5-1. I hate when the outnumbered guy wins handicap matches. Ruins my suspension of disbelief.
-Crowd seemed confused by the Trish/Mickie stuff. I'm really not sure who we're supposed to cheer now. Good segment, though and Mickie totally made the segment at the end by Mick Kicking homeboy.
-I like that Edge predicted he'd pin H. The match was okay, if rushed. The heat is going to be off the charts at Backlash.

All in all, not quite as good as the previous two weeks but y'know...
Matt Tracker

Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 6 hours
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.79
You might remember that, last week, The Lovely Mrs. Tracker and I hosted a small RAW party with our pals, Kathy, Travis, and their exchange student Tonia. They went nuts for it, especially Kathy.

On Saturday, we get a call. It's Kathy, asking meekly if she can come over again and watch. The conversation went like this:

Kathy: Um, Spirit Squad?
Me: I dunno ... Spirit Squad?
Kathy: Yeah, you know, Spirit Squad.
Me: Spirit Squad. Spirit Squad.(strokes beard) Hmmm. Spirit Squad ...
Kathy: Come on. Spirit Squad!
Me: Oh, alright. Spirit Squad.

And now the word "squad" looks really weird to me.

I ran into Travis and his dad at Lowe's and learn that the dad is embarrassed that his son and daughter-in-law are watching wrestling. "I'd rather they be on drugs. At least people don't laugh at you when they find you're on drugs."

Anyway, so yes, last night did see the further corruption of our friends. Tonia, however, was in Hilton Head with a pack of high schoolers on Spring Break.

It's 9 p.m. The fries are cooked, the beer is open, and the wings are coated with Hell Sauce. Let's roll!

Kathy is already bored with Vince's monologue. And I am too. I like the McMahonism as a comic notion, but could easily take us back to the Corporate Ministry. When the superkick comes, Kathy says "that guy looks like that one singer in that band." We throw out every band name we can think of, and by the time we're down to Cinderella, WASP, and Stryper, she says Van Halen, and she must mean Diamond Dave. And Travis and I almost come to blows over Roth vs Haggar. I mean, really, what more could Dave have done after the 1984 album. How do you top that? 5150 and OU812 and For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge just rock and rock and rock some more.

Kathy asks what the deal is with Conway and why would Kane be fighting him. Do these guys know who they are gonna wrestle in reality before the match? I explain to her the need for Kane (who went nuts last week) to have a match to establish him as a singles threat against a small guy, and Conway seeks validation after getting punked by Hunter and beaten by RVD. I define "squash" and "jobber." And the match is over before we stop talking. We chide Show on his Sweatpants of Justice and all crack up at the Zombie Sit-Up. They won't see his movie, but we are dying to see "Silent Hill."

We don't hear a word of the Chavo segment bedcause I tell them about Eddie and that leads to Owen and the referee signals and the use of them in storylines and how the crowd turned on Chyna's neck injury immediately. This leads to discussion of what the crowd wants and what the writers want and how certain arena crowds become Bizzaro World.

I almost fall over as I hear Haas's music. I explain the backstory here to all as even TLMT never saw The World's Greatest Tag Team, but all you have to do is say "Kurt Angle," and she's ten times more interested. I casually mention the old "Haas of Pain" finisher, and Kathy and Travis crack up over the name. This leads to a discussion of finishers. TLMT confesses that when she started watching, she had to ask why certain moves would hurt. And we both admit I applied some on her to explain them. Kathy doesn't believe us. Like what, she says. The figure-four, TLMT says. And there we go, to the floor, me doing the Flair strut and slowly SLOWLY wrapping her up in the hold. I have to be careful; she was gardening all day, and her legs are tender. I point out to Kathy the physics of the move. See the ankle, how it's pressed over the knee and shin? See how my right foot is under her left leg? I offer to try it to Kathy, but she's preggers. I miss my shot to make the mom tap out while the fetus, in sympathy pain, also taps against the womb. Next week, can Travis survive the Frogsplash? Can the cats survive the Vaderbomb? This is the best part of home ownership. The landlord can't say we're too loud for the other tenants. Back to the match, I'm sure Haas will lose, nd I explain why Shelton doing RVD's moves is evil and vile and arrogant and fucking cool as hell. Haas wins, killing my credibility.

Umaga. Kathy and Travis hear about the legacy of Samoans and Tongans and Islanders. Most important here is the Divine Intervention as Shawn's heavenly partner teases us with His finisher, The Smite. We twist Bible quotes to fit the show. "Well done, thou good and faithful jobber."

The Rock/Austin flashback provides a chance to relate just how awesome Rock was, how over Austin was, what the hell "over" means, how crowds turned Rocky evil and then witnessed his transformation into the best thing since Ric Flair's Horsemen heyday (they both know Flair, of course; everyone in the Carolinas does). Also, just how did Austin get the 3:16 t-shirt and why did Rock get booed when he fought Brock. This is a crash course for them, and to their credit, they are eating it up. This is a whole new world. A world of acrobats, lingo, and theater.

The Striker bit allows me to relate his story. Both TLMT and Kathy teach, so they are fascinated. We try to point out Masters' Female Reproductive Logo but the tights are a bad color for that. But note again that he looks exactly like my brother-in-law.

SPIRIT SQUAD! And RVD defiles the trampoline! ORF WIV HIS HEAD! The five-man flop finally gets a name, and Kenny nails the big leg drop. Kathy is in hysterics. THIS is the epitome of wresting for them. It can get no better.

The Mickie/Trish switch baffles Kathy completely. But, I now grudgingly admit, this is good stuff. Trish is having a field day, and Mickie is showing range. Travis suggests the only thing a woman needs to wrestle is big boobs. That leads to TLMT's rant about how they treated Molly Holly. She stoked her Hate Furnace for a while over that.

And Kathy is starting to fade. It's a lot to digest, and she's a bit pooped out. OK, there's next week. We all hug goodbye, and we offer to make this a regular thing.

Has Edge ever pinned Triple H before? And done it cleanly?

When I get into the office today, the new coworker (who doesn't know anything about me) learns that I watch the stuff and explodes with hysterical disbelief.

"I don't know anyone with a brain who watches THAT!"

It's too common a reaction to get mad over, and I realize no one who sees me out and about would have a clue I watch wrestling. I don't fit their stereotype of the rasslin' fan. But I give her a quick summary of why it's good, and she cracks up over the evil male cheerleaders.

"See. THAT'S why it's fun to watch. Anyone with a brain can get the joke."

Anyway, F her. She's not coming over for wings and rasslin. Not MY wings. Only the chosen few get my wings, sit on my couch, and watch RAW with me and the missus.

And, next Monday, the gang will get together again.

"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker

My blog will amuse. (

Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 578 days
Last activity: 463 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.88

Between Kane's voices & the whole Vince McMahon/God thing, I feel like I should be 12 years old again. That's just some horrible shit.

While I'm glad to see Charlie Haas back, I'm not looking forward to his Heat feud with Rob Conway.
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