Footage! from last week's Kane/HHH. With eerie video distortion effects!
It's Raw on the same old NEW TNN. ...and a Fashion Report, too.
Jericho, in silver/blue sparkly shirt and pants, with his reel, brings out Stacie, in red semi-sparkly dress, with Steiner, in chainmail, black "Freakzilla" tshirt, and warmups. Test, in black sleeveless and grey slacks, slowly comes out. Bisch, in a VERY worn leather jacket, is out to book a match.
Lance, in red undies, with a very interesting statement, vs. Goldberg, in black fullcuts with white trim and barbedwire butt. Mack, in black undies with silver butt design, keeps the match from going down. Now THIS is boring. Oh, Long was around, in black pinstriped suit.
Bisch motivated Kane, in the back. To summarize - it's RVD's fault. Book a match.
Puppies, in sparkly black trenchcoat, black lace-up shirt and turquoise tights, vs. adbreak, vs. Victoria, in red, vs. Ivory, in purple, vs. Jackie, in silver top and black pants, vs. Jazz, in gold/black bra and jungle skirt, wearing the belt, vs. Gail Kim, in black split trenchcoat, black top and skimpy undies (with zippers!), vs. Molly, in blue top and black tights. Wow - Gail is thin. A new champ - okay match.
Booker, in white hot-crotch, flamin' "BookerT" undies, vs. Christian!, in red tights, with gold crests and black "C"s, wearing the belt. Lillian's in a nice blue this evening. Um, or not. Adbreak! OKay, match is JIP'ed when we get back. JR sure likes to talk about people getting screwed, I've noticed; I think he might be even more of a dirty old man than Lawler. Booker's white boots have velcro straps. AWESOME kick by Booker. Oh Fuck you and your Dusty Finishes! A nice match, nonetheless. Woulda been better with a REAL ending (and if Cole/Tazz called it).
Kane broods in the back. RVD tries to motivate (his own word) Kane. Kane has lotsa hate. I know where this is going already (and I don't like it).
Jericho, in beige/purple silhoutte tights, and Test, in black undies with red wyvrens?/dragons?/griffons? on the hips, vs. Steiner, in chainmail and red "Freakzilla" tights, and Stacie, in black latex top and skimpies. Steiner is a dumbass (in a handicap match you COVER the guy when you get a chance). Aw fuckit - God forbid we have a clean ending to a mach. What is this, Nitro? Poor match.
Rico, in neon green suit with zebra-striped trim, and sparkly silver tights, with Jackie, vs. Mave, in black "M" fullcuts. Hey, if Rico and Val are both from Vegas, do they hang out together? Rico ahs silver eyeshadow this week, and he's very flaming. JR says "the crowd is stunned" - fuck that noise. Folks, this is a three-hot-pokers-up-the-ass quality match.
Randy, in black "Orton" undies, with blue/silver hip bolts, with Flair, vs. Dreamer, in black "WWE the People" tshirt and black "TD" jeans. Wow - Randy's got a package on him ('cuz the ladies want to know); it's hard not to stare. Okay match, then the beatdown.
RVD does the splits in the back. Bisch stops by and acts all smarmy. Rob is angry that Bisch is exploiting Kane's situation.
Hey, no lazy writers' poll this week? And what ever happened to Bisch's baby, F-View?
Bisch talks to Terri in the back.
La Resistance, in sparkly blue military coats, and yellow-trim red black berets and tights, wearing the Tag Title belts, vs. Hurricane, in black Huri-poncho, mask, and good ol' neongreen/black outfit, and Spike, in black "Dudley Boyz 3D" tshirt and camo pants. A mild "boring" chant, which I disagre with. An okay match.
Terri looks for Kane in the back. Where's Poochie? Where's Waldo?
When did the last title change occur on Raw? The RVD/Kane win over Storm/Val after Wrestlemania? So that'd be...about three months.
HHH, in black iron-cross undies, wearing the Big Golden Belt, vs. Rob, in black singlet with yellow "RVD". Eventually Flair comes out, with Adbreak. Rob no-sells 7 minutes of leg-holds - look, he's RUNNING! AND he no-sells a belt shot. Bisch just makes-up stipulations as the match goes on. Randy finally interferes. Okay match.
Kane, in red stripes and black spandex, chokeslams Bisch. He's bald - closeup time!
Overall: When a show makes me think I've gone back in time and are watching Nitro, well, it's not a good thing. I don't think I've ever dropped as many F-bombs as I did tonight. And when you just don't care about the Main Event ('cuz you KNOW RVD had NO chance and it'd have a screwey ending) that, too, is not a good thing. I was left rather disappointed by this week's show.
edit: 'cuz typos are my friends
(edited by ScreamingHeadGuy on 30.6.03 2216)
Fashion Reporter Extraordinare
Wisdom is learning from one's mistakes. Greater wisdom is learning from the mistakes of others.
Color me impressed with the main. RVD got off all 2,637 of his finishers, Flair put on a heel manager workshop, and the predictable ending with Kane turning on Van Dam didn’t happen. I really enjoyed all of that.
My favorite match tonight was Dreamer/Orton. When two wrestlers can make a lengthy tie-up look interesting, that’s a good thing.
I love Rico playing the “sissy” role. He’s clearly having fun with it, and the crowd seems to be into it too.
Is there a precedent for having a battle royal for a title while an active wrestler holds the title...let alone a spur-of-the-moment battle royal? Sure that makes sense for the Number One Contender spot, but for the ACTUAL TITLE?!? Then Gail Kim, “the young Asian-Canadian”, wins it. It all just came off as throwaway to me. (EDIT - Even if this was done to get Jazz off the active roster due to injury, couldn't they at least left it with the last two women in the ring to face off in a championship match?)
The Great American Burger blows. But the Cherry Icee Floats at Burger King RULE.
I was actually kind of impressed by Test’s slam on Stacy. But considering her legs are long enough to kick him in the groin from the other side of the ring, why DIDN’T she?!?
Goldberg v. Storm: I think I like where this is going: every week, Goldberg squashes Mack. No match, but Storm's prepared statements get a hearty thumbs-up from me.
Women's Battle Royal: Wha'happen to Jazz? Looks legit to me, from what I've seen. And Gail Kim? Mmmmmm. Can I have some more, pwease?
Booker v. Christian: Is this it? Better not be. Wish I could say more about the match, but I wasn't really paying attention.
Test/Jericho v. Steiner/Kiebler: Okay, the Bischoff popping out of the back thing? Getting a little stale. And I want to care about Test... no, really. Seems like he's trying to give us a reason.
Maven v. Rico: Is Rico gonna be doing comedy matches this whole time? Please tell me no. And although I haven't seen Adrian Street, I hope he was better than this. Even Kwee-Wee was better... I kinda prefer it when instead of reverting to the same character, he'd just go apeshit on his opponent. And nice job covering for the crowd, JR. Try not to call attention to them next time. Ass cleavage on Jackie... hoo-kaaaaaay.
Dreamer v. Orton: Did I ever mention how WHOMP-ASS the Evolution video is? The music's not bad, too... kinda like the ticking. The match was meh, though. Orton's gonna be good, but he isn't there yet.
La Resistance v. Hurricane/Spike: First time I see La Resistance in a non-comedy role (the first time was last week). CUE THE LANCE STORM CHANT! (Sorry, he deserves better. But it's nice to see I'm not the only one with no attention span for this match.) I'd say Hurricane deserves better too, but he's getting consistent airtime. He even gets to wrestle this week, too.
RVD v. HHH: Well, this was a pleasant surprise. HHH actually seemed to sell nicely for RVD, and Bischoff actually uses his egomanaical character not just for evil, but also good. Kane didn't look too bad, either. The towel on his head was kinda funny, but hey, what're ya gonna do? Did they screw it up? I say no. That doesn't mean they got it right... it's too soon to tell.
Non-matches:
Highlight Reel: When will the Jeritron 5000 meet its cruel end? You know what's gonna happen... what's taking so long?
Commentary: Shut up, Lawler. Shut UP, Lawler. SHUT UP, Lawler. I'm going to rip your fucking vocal cords out if you don't let go of Booker T's record, Lawler. You're still not funny, Lawler. (That one's applicable wherever you see fit.) And what the hell was with Spike's cookies? JR, I thank you for keeping the college football schtick to a minimum. I woulda gone Carlos Perez on you if you didn't. Not today.
The RVD/Kane Saga: Well, there's a bit of explanation. But they're gonna play him off as naturally hideous? Uhm, Glen Jacobs isn't the greatest-looking guy in the business, but come ON. And upon further review, nice camera angle uglying him up.
I am not complaining at all here. I thought it was a pretty uneventful show with not much happening actually. But it seemed the ending of the Booker T/Christian match totally killed that crowd. I think they were going for that whole, "Kane is going to come out and who is he going to help" vibe for the main event. But of course HHH had already won the match by that time. The only thing that I didn't like about the show was the fact nothing really happened. One of those shows that if you missed, you wouldn't even feel that bad about it. Even though the Booker/Christian match was really good. I thought it could have been saved for the beginning of the 2nd hour, instead of the tag match.
I wonder if people missed flights or something, alot of people weren't on the show tonight.
(edited by dskillz on 30.6.03 2030) January 4th 1999 - The day WCW injected itself with 10 gallons of Liquid Anthrax...AKA...The day Hogan "Defeated" Nash to win the WCW title in front of 40,000.
Well, it's nice to see that Kane found a stash of Tazz's old head towels. And on the subject of headgear, was it just my TV or did Steiner's chainmail look rusty?
Rico cracked me up, but he dragged it out a little too much -- there was a point where he should have put aside all the posing and prancing and just squashed Maven the way everyone knew he was going to.
The women's battle royal was just weird booking. Okay, you're going to push the new girl all the way to the title on her first outing -- fine and dandy, the women's division needs a shakeup anyway. But then why do it in a battle royal where she doesn't get to show off anything impressive? As it is, Gail Kim comes off looking like a fluke champion.
"next to of course god america i love you land of the pilgrims' and so forth oh say can you see by the dawn's early my country tis of centuries come and go and are no more what of it we should worry in every language even deafanddumb thy sons acclaim your glorious name by gorry by jingo by gee by gosh by gum why talk of beauty what could be more beaut- iful than these heroic happy dead who rushed like lions to the roaring slaughter they did not stop to think they died instead then shall the voice of liberty be mute?"
Show was okay overall, the wrestling was pretty good, but damn what was up JR's ass tonight? In the parts where he was audible, he sounded rather... disgrunteled. More so than usual! I was almost expecting him to introduce Diesel and Razor Ramon. Well at least it would would give Kane a direction.
I like Rico's new character, but they just overdid it tonight. Once again, restrant, because he reminded me of a Bushwaker tonight with all the ass grabbing (as opposed to biting) and dancing (in lieu of marching). Was Jackie wearing panties?
For someone who don't wrestle, and nil charisma Tommy Dreamer gets a good pop.
The battle royal came off looking like Gail Kim won because the people who were supposed to win got legit hurt or failed to skin the cat. But as much as the match sucked, I didn't see anything to blame on her for it. I nearly turned the TV off after that but decided to leave it on and just try to sleep. Luckily, Rico saved the show and woke me up and I managed to stay awake through the tag match long enough to see a worthwhile main event with a satisfying ending. Did anybody else think Van Dam legit knocked out HHH with that Van Daminator?
It was mentioned in the last Observer that Jazz has had a shoulder injury for a few weeks now so I guess she needs surgery or some legit time off (house show matches have been going very short). I would've put the strap back on Victoria because nobody cares about Gail Kim yet.
The Bischoff switching rules on the fly came off really lame and Russoriffic.
Maybe it was the lack of crowd noise but Ross and Lawler were really GRATING tonight, especially Lawler.
Kane still looks goofy not scary, just goofy.
I think it's time to take this La Resistance horse out back and shot it. Send Grenier home and Dupree back to OVW until he's ready.
And don't leave Steiner in the ring for 8 minutes, jeebus.
Yeesh, would it have KILLED them to throw some black makeup on Kane?
I liked the battle royal though Jazz looked sort of odd as soon as she got in the ring, and then she just died on that superkick. Rico frigging RULED tonight. But the rest of the show was laughable.....I was actually calling every bit of the main event, from exactly when Flair jumped in the ring, to right when Orton showed up. Only thing I got wrong was that HHH didn't even need a Pedigree to bury RVD......
Anybody can kick people's asses. But it takes a true monster to kick people's asses AND breastfeed at the same time - Excalibur05
For the second week in a row, Raw has left me not feeling good or bad, just confused. I think the only explanation left for Kane's appearance is that he wasn't actually disfigured, but he just tried to make it look that way so he wouldn't look like a fraud. At least it would explain the continuity error of him having hair every other time he was unmasked. I wonder if they're trying to build him up for another go at HHH.
Why is Jericho suddenly getting attached to shitty angles? The beauty of creative is that someone thought a match where Scott Steiner is the best worker on his team and works the majority of the match is a GOOD idea.
The Battle Royale didn't come off too well. Gail Kim wasn't overly impressive, but she didn't get to do too much, so it's hard to make a judgment. Was Jazz legit knocked out? If it was a work, I woulda thought she would return at the end to retain. On the plus side, there are plenty of interesting things they can do with the division now.
The Jericho/Test vs. Steiner/Stacy match was great only because JR's sanity was slowly unraveling throughout the match. JR confusing Test and Christian was beautiful.
I liked the Booker/Christian match, but the finish was really deflating and doesn't do anything for either guy. Either put Booker over Christian or put Christian over Booker. Is that so hard?
Hurricane's tag partner search had better end up with him and Goldust forming a team. Am I the only one who realizes how golden that team would be? Great promos, decent ring work, what more do you need?
RVD/HHH had potential, and then Rob fucked it up. It saddens me that he would do that awful of a sell job on the one body part that he had competently sold in the past. Of course, expecting good psychology out of RVD is my fault. Unfortunately, after the knee build, the match just fell apart into a clusterfuck. I'm somewhat amazed at how much they booked RVD like a star in that match. They made RVD look like a bigger star than they did Kane.
The big problem with Raw is: where do we go from here? RVD, Jericho, Kane, HHH, and Goldberg all don't seem to have any direction towards any feuds right now. Kane being a face doesn't really help the matters any. There is a strong possibility that Nash is going to be the 4th member of Evolution, so I'd guess Goldberg or Kane are probably going to get stuck with him, grinding their pushes to a halt. Either way, I'm confused.
I actually laughed at Steiner's "Jiffy-pop jumpsuit" line. Sue me.
Gail KIm: An incredibly lackluster debut/title win. The first, I think, since Jerry Lynn beat Crash for the lightweight belt on Heat.
The Meltdown on Stacy was vile. I'm almost hoping Chyna emerges to stand up for all the tiny women and kick Test into space.
"Rico, in neon green suit with zebra-striped trim, and sparkly silver tights, with Jackie, vs. Mave, in black "M" fullcuts. Hey, if Rico and Val are both from Vegas, do they hang out together? Rico ahs silver eyeshadow this week, and he's very flaming. JR says "the crowd is stunned" - fuck that noise. Folks, this is a three-hot-pokers-up-the-ass quality match."
OK, so the effeminate wrestler gimmick is hardly new, but why is Rico allowed to up the ante on Goldust when they're on the same show? Without any apparent acknowledgement of the similarity? This was a swipe of the Goldust debut match against Razor Ramon.
Randy, The Chiseled Weasel wins a nothing match against a guy who hasn't won two matches in a row since ECW closed shop.
And the crowd was right to chant "boring" during the La Resistance match. It's Spike and Helms; there was no doubt who would win. Same with Orton's match. Same with the main event. Same with Booker's match. This show was handicapped by the predictable conclusions. So maybe we didn't know how the winners would pull it off, but we knew who'd get the win. Drab and dull all around.
Hope Jazz is OK though.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
A little something I realied, but forgot when I was typing that up (yes, it was running commentary): Anyone else think the RVD/HHH match was just running long? The ending looked really rushed.
Actually given the way Hunter glanced at Flair, I was wondering if he was supposed to go to the figure four initially instead of that indian deathlock. He sort of fumbled with it, almost like he wrapped RVD's leg around the wrong side.....
Of course with WWE logic at play, HHH will get double pushed due to being able to carry Rob through a 10 minute sequence based around his own horrible botch of a move
Anybody can kick people's asses. But it takes a true monster to kick people's asses AND breastfeed at the same time - Excalibur05
OK, ok. Here we go with my opinions, match by match. For most of the time, I was helping out putting together a table/lamp set that we have not touched for about a year and a half, but I kept one eye and an ear at the action. Not much to say, but here it goes.
1) Highlight reel -> when Bischoff said that Austin was not going to be there tonight, did you think that the program is going to be a downward spiral? I thought so.
2) Goldberg/Storm becoming Goldberg/Mack -> guess Mack is becoming the next Jerry Flynn. At least Storm receives a check for not doing much this week.
3) Divas battle royal -> OK match, did not see where Jazz got hurt. As for Gail Kim, good looking, but I need to see her do those moves everyone was talking about in a 1-on-1 match. A battle royal did not give her justice, even though she ended up winning.
4) Booker/Christian -> Good match, STUPID ENDING. And JR, just shut up about Booker getting screwed. You said that about 20 times in the match. Even my dad told him to shut up.
5) Test/Jericho vs Steiner/Stacy -> did not care about the match, but when Bischoff came out and said no DQ, it was predictable. Nasty slam by Test. OUCH.
6) Maven/Rico -> strange match, nuff said. Jackie -> still good lookin'. I love to see Rico/Goldust. JR would say this "It's the Bizarre One vs the Bizarre One."
7) Dreamer/Orton -> was taking the table out to the sunroom, so don't know, don't care.
8) La Resistance vs Spike/Hurricane -> boring match
9) HHH/RVD -> good match, until Bischoff happens to walk out and say NO DQ, NO Countout. I thought it was time for Kane to go in and attack RVD, but HHH comes through and without the pedigree for once. Kane comes out, and him chokeslamming Bischoff surprised me and really made my night. One observation that my dad saw with the facial features...Kane almost looked like George the Animal Steele at the end when they had the close up shot to end.
So, what did we learn from tonight???
1) No Austin, No Nash, No HBK = Bad program
2) Too much Bischoff = Very bad program
3) JR/King (especially JR tonight) = Should shut up
4) Kane = face (for now)
Overall, it was not a good program even though the end was interesting.
See you on Thursday or Friday for Smackdown (don't know when we will watch it).
I had high hopes for almost everything they did tonight, but I can't think of a segment outside of Jericho/Steiner at the beginning that didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Worst segment by fay was the Rico match, because there was just TOO MUCH of the Goldust stuff going on. If they had ended the match after the first 15 hours I might have found parts amusing.
I'm also sick of the way they book main events period. I knew Kane would do something at the end of the show, so I spent the entire main event in the can reading "Hacking the Xbox". I came out to find that Kane didn't interfere in the match, but that the match sucked on it's own anyways. Then look who's here. It's Kane, to do the "will he/won't he turn" If they're going to use the main event as just a tool to have someone interfere, I'd prefer they make the main event 36 seconds long to just get it out of the way.
I've also had it with Jim Ross and Lawler... more-so than normal. Puppies and Woo-Hoos and By Gawds and Goofy as pet coons. Jesus, talk about Hogan being too old to be employed anymore. Does anyone remember when Bobby Heenan first brought out Lawler on Superstars? Hearing their 1940's banter and the exact same calls they use each and every week regardless of what's actually happening just did it for me. Like someone else said, they also just seemed disgruntled this week. At least the Rico match was just a part of the show, but Jim Ross and Lawler's played-out nonsense ran from one end to another and ruined the whole show.
Other than that, I liked it.
Tribal Prophet
Wrestling exists in the eternal present. What is, has always been, and when it no longer is, it never was. It has no past and no future, and sometimes even today is in question. - Madame Manga
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Footage! from last week's Kane/HHH. With eerie video distortion effects!
COOL!!
Jericho, Steiner, Bishoff book a match.
Anyone else think this was a little stale to start off the show?
Goldburg, aww no match for Da-Man? Blown Jackhammer #2
Wow - Gail is thin. A new champ - okay match. Blown spots galore?!?
UNEXPECTED?!? She must have talked to Goldberg before she came out.
Booker vs. Christian...Ok...what happened to the refs decision is final? Ok, so they replayed it. Patrick should have grabed the mic and said company rules Mr. Bishoff...nevermind were suppose to forget this stuff. What is this, Nitro? Poor match...Glad I stepped out to get pizza.
Folks, this is a three-hot-pokers-up-the-ass quality match...OUCH!!!
Randy vs. Dreamer...Hey loved endless lockup opening.
RVD does the splits in the back. Bisch stops by and acts all smarmy. Rob is angry that Bisch is exploiting Kane's situation.
Hmm...so who's right, RVD for the idea or Bishoff for using it against Kane.
Hey, no lazy writers' poll this week? And what ever happened to Bisch's baby, F-View? I remember what happened to F-View...it caught Bishoff in a bad situation and he fired the guy that placed all the cameras. Problem solved.
La Resistance vs. Hurricane and Spike. An okay match...110% AGREE! Terri looks for Kane in the back. Where's Poochie? Where's Waldo? Funny, wonder why she couldn't find Kane hmm...
When did the last title change occur on Raw? The RVD/Kane win over Storm/Val after Wrestlemania? So that'd be...about three months...SHESH...that long ago. That's almost ages now.
HHH vs. Rob. Eventually Flair comes out, with Adbreak. Rob no-sells 7 minutes of leg-holds - look, he's RUNNING! AND he no-sells a belt shot. Bisch just makes-up stipulations as the match goes on. Randy finally interferes. Okay match.
Wait, RVD no-selling?!? Yeah, I loved Ross cover for it to it. He has strong legs. Yet, Flair is the worst person I've seen react to RVD's offensive flurries. He sells them but they look terrible. More blown spots galore.
Kane, in red stripes and black spandex, chokeslams Bisch. He's bald - closeup time! HEY, SOMEBODY CHECK LAST WEEK. I THINK HE ALREADY HAD HIS EYEBROWS GONE. Hard to notice through the black stuff though. Ehh, he's a hairless monkey now, anyways.
Overall: When a show makes me think I've gone back in time and are watching Nitro, well, it's not a good thing. I don't think I've ever dropped as many F-bombs as I did tonight. And when you just don't care about the Main Event ('cuz you KNOW RVD had NO chance and it'd have a screwey ending) that, too, is not a good thing. I was left rather disappointed by this week's show.
Train Wreck 101:I liked sporatic parts but it did remind me of some lame WCW Nitro that didn't quite live up to what it should have been.
This is getting annoying now isn't it?
Banned Once! The independant thought alarm went off, knew to much about b*tching.