Bischoff's head and shoulders, in black suit and shirt, books Shawn/Rob vs. Randy/Batista/Kane.
Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight, because it is time to WAKE UP! It's Raw, LIVE from Sacramento, CA...and a Fashion Report, too! For full disclosure, I'm kinda feeling under the weather.
Goldberg, in black/blue "Goldberg" #1 football jersey with barbedwire chest, and black jeans, the Wolrd Heavyweight Title over his shoulder, is out to talk. He calls-out HHH and/or Kane, but Bisch comes out instead. Bisch is irate, and proclaims that HE has the power. So out comes Mick Foley(!), in grey sportscoat, black slacks, blue shirt and tie. (King gets all Fashion-Report-y.) Oh, and Mick has a clipboard. Linda McMahon, apparently, has hired Mick as an "outside consultant" to improve Raw. Mick uses his consulting power to add Goldberg to the Shawn/Rob team. Mick, then, passes-around a petition to bring back Stone Cold. Next, he goes-on to state that Bischoff is what's wrong with Raw and he makes himself a co-GM. Have a nice day! (See Lillian in the background passing that petition around. Deus-ex-machina a plenty!
In the Room of Fun, Coach tries to stop Bisch, but he still calls Linda McMahon, only to be hung-up on.
Dudleys, DVon in sleeveless black "Dudley Boyz" jersey, green/yellow camo pants, wearing the Tag Team Title, and Bubba, in black "Dudley Boyz" jersey, green/yellow camo shorts, carrying the Tag Team Title, vs. Cade, in blue undies, and Jindrak, in red "Jindrak" undies, with FOOTAGE! from last week's "Strange Bedfellows" match. Rollup (with tights) by DVon for the pin. An average match. Post-match Cade gets the stick, demands FOOTAGE! of what just happened, and demands a rematch to boos.
In the back, Coach and Snow bemoan the youngsters' fate. MIck arrives - Coach tries to brown nose; Snow looks bummed. Mick books Lawler vs. Coach, Al banned from ringside; if COach looses, he's fired.
BookerT, in black hot-crotch flamin' "BookerT" undies, vs. Test, in black undies with red hip flames, with Stacy, in tan/brown short pleated plaid skirt, tied-up white shirt, and thigh-high white socks (I would hit that). Hebner officiates. Scissors kick for the pin. Poor match. Post-match, Booker good-naturedly teases Stacy into doing a "leg-a-roonie". Then Mark Henry comes out to take-out Booker. The WW may have forgotten the angle, but "I Still Remember", Booker.
In the dressing room, Lita and Trish share a girlie moment. Ugh - Trish and Jericho "talked about (their) feelings".
JR, in black hat, black sportscoat with red hanky, and blue shirt, and Lawler, in black/white vertical stripes, pimp a web site and show us FOOTAGE! of last week's post-Main Event beatdown.
In the back, Terri interviews Baista as Randy poses behind her. Batista smash!
Steiner, in chainmail and jeans, Test, and Stacy, come out. Wait - if you guys share EVERYTHING, do you wear each other's underwear? The two fellas offer to let Stacy do some ass-worshiping but, once their pants are half-down, Mick arrives to get Stacy out of there and fire both the fellas. Man, I was trying to eat.
In the Room of Fun, Test and Steiner complain to Bisch. Bisch promises he'll call Vince; a voice off-screen asks if that's the case, but Bisch says he'll deal with it himself (the liar!),
Val, in towell, and Lance, in red undies, with two hos, vs. La Resistance, Rene in blue sparkly military coat, black beret, and black "La Resistance" undies, Rob, in black "La Resistance" undies, with the French Flag. Something by Lance for the pin. Post-match, Mick tries to get everybody to do the Pledge of Allegiance. Rob half-asses it; Rene just ignores it. Mick then fires the two of 'em.
Trish, in purple, and Jericho, in pink/blue sparkly shirt and pink/black silhoutte pants, vs. Rico, in pink tassled tights and Jackie, in black bellbottoms and pink slingshot top. It's a mixed-tag match, if you think they'll actually abide by that. Charles Robinson officiates. Jericho does get a face reaction. Wow - Jackie TOTALLY whiffed that clothesline (if that's what she was actually going for). Stratusfaction for th pin (but they weren't legal). A nice match. Post-match Trish and Jericho are all kissy-face.
In the Room of Fun, Bisch talks to off-screen-guy again, recapping the whole damn show so far. Oh, it's Kane off camera. Bisch uses honeyed words to manipulate Kane.
Mattitude, in black/white shirt and pants, with FOOTAGE!, vs. Christian!, in black tights with pink "C"s on white crests, with Lita. Jack Doan is the referee. Lita plays the role of cheerleader. Molly comes out to attack Lita, distracting Christian!, allowing Matt to get the rollup pin. A nice match. Post-match, Christian! tends to Lita.
Lawler vs. Coach. If I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything. I'll actually use that heuristic now.
The announcers run-down the card (so far) for Armageddon.
In their lockerroom, Christian! and Jericho talk about a bet. Damnit - way to kill off the angle. As the camera pans-out of the room, we see a heart-broken Trish crying as she leans against the doorframe, having heard all that transpired. Damnit all.
Randy, in red "Orton" undies with black hip-scrawl, and Batista, in black undies iwth red flames, escorted by Flair, in black suit, and Kane, under the towell, in black tights with red stripes, vs. Rob, in rainbow-hued "RVD" yingyang singlet, the IC Title over his shoulder, Shawn, in mirror-studded sleeves and chaps, and red Texas-hearted "HeartBreakKid" tights, and Goldberg, in black undies with white trim and barbedwire butt, wearing the World Heavyweight Title. Mike Chioda is wearing the official's stripes. Adbreak. Five-Star Frogsplash, Mick comes out to count the pin. Nice match.
Post-match, Bisch comes down to chew-out Mick. Oh, it turns-out that Mick didn't REALLY fire the guys - it was all a trick to show Bisch how bad he was. Mick books Kane vs. Goldberg for next week. Then Mick punches and mandible-claws Bisch (welcome back, Mr. Socko).
Overall: Way too much out-of-nowhere Mick stuff. I mean, they took what could have been a multi-week angle and crammed it into a few seconds in the opening talk-fest. Sheesh, talk about a blown storytelling opportunity. As is, it all smelled of a mega deus-ex-machina fest. Killing-off the romance angle just totaly sucked; it was one of the storylines I actually cared about. Some of the commentary was decent, but the rest was tune-out-able. I won't call the show when I'm in this condition.
The turn in the Lita/Trish/XTian/Jericho angle is very annoying. Why would they just spill the beans about their bet like that with a CAMERA RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM. At least make the camera hidden or act like they dont see the camera there. And then, they get no comment from Lawler or JR about it? How stupid.
I actually really enjoyed tonight's RAW. I, as well, was upset about them ending the Jericho/Stratus/Christian/Lita angle already, as it was the highlight of the show for the past several weeks, and one of the better storylines WWE has come up with lately. I'm a big sap for a good soap-opera storyline (stressing the word GOOD), and am sad that this one is ending.
However, the rest of the show was enjoyable. It's rare that I can sit through a WWE show, nowadays, and not lose interest. Tonight, they had my attention the whole way through. I really don't have any other major complaints.
I can't wait for next week to see how our Canadian heroes are going to wiggle their way out of this one and keep the ladies. (Don't give me that look - you know Jericho & Christian will find a way to gloss it over... that was the reason the situation didn't resolve itself tonight.)
Next week: Trish confesses that she's really fallen for the King of the World. (I hope.) :)
If the WWF decided to use a Super Mario Brothers gimmick...
"Mah gawd, King! Garrison Cade just bounced a fireball toward Rene Dupree!" "And look, Mark Jindrak just jumped on top of Conway's head! I think he's out cold, JR!" "What're they up to now..where did that huge pipe come from?!" "They're going down in the pipe! They're..they're gone!" --Mike Sweetser
"Oh my god, JR. Cade just shrunk after he was hit by that chair!" "Here comes RVD, King. What's that he has in that bag?" "Are those Mushrooms, JR?" "Cade's eating the Mushrooms. BAH GAWD, KING! Cade just grew twice his size!" --Mr. Tuesday
Ooof, what a downer of a show. Got sick of Foley not even halfway through the show, they're already setting up Austin's return, and none of the matches got above "OK". The mixed-tag was good when it was Rico/Jericho, but none of the other matches were anything to write home about. Hardy & Christian just didn't "click" for some reason. And, on top of all that, they go & blow the best thing going on the show (Jericho/Trish and Christian/Lita). Bad, bad idea. I can't wait to see what "hilarious" payback Trish & Lita cook up.
I did, however, get a chuckle out of Steiner referring to his ass as his "Big Bad Booty". Hopefully, we don't get Heidy trying to cripple Stevie on Heat again this week.
Mick was going to be the GREATEST GM EVAR~~~ until the end. Fucking bait and switch. I want Test fired! And Coach too! As it is, it's just more of the same warring authority figures bullshit that hasn't been interesting in months. I love Mick and all, but Raw doesn't need a Co-GM(or a GM at all).
I really wish they hadn't tipped their hand so soon on Jericho/Trish. While it would've been acceptable for the audience to find out that this was all a bet, they pulled Trish finding out about it too early. The storyline had at least a couple more weeks in it before they had to do this and it would have been more effective to space these events out over a couple of weeks to build interest.
And they really really really shouldn't be giving away Goldberg/Kane on TV. Or baiting and swithching Goldberg/Kane on TV.
"No iniquity or cruelty can exceed our own if we pusillanimously ... surrender successive generations to a condition of wretchedness. Will you do in your life what will live forever?" - WARRIOR
I have to say, I was actually entertained by the Foley stuff and I am glad to see him back--even if it means going back to the old "co-GM" thing. My biggest disappointment? Test and Steiner really aren't fired...
I agree about the romance angle too--it seems everyone was really hooked into it and they just shot it down fast. I think they really could have dragged the angle out farther and kept the suspense about whether it was real--were C and Jericho turning face? Staying heel? Well...I guess this answers THAT question...
Overall though, a pretty entertaining show. It was nice to see Mattitude and Christian wrestle each other :)
Never make a bet with a Canadian....
If I have to lose to anyone, at least its to SOK...grr
Kinda knew it was a bet. Although I wish they let it go another week until Trish found out. I'd rather have Lita be outside the locker room, then tell Trish, Only for Trish NOT beleive Lita. Then Trish finds out.
Mick Foley is back. YAY! Regardles of this "petition" they'll bring Austin back. Maybe for one last match. Maybe as a comintator. Who knows.
Mick's firing tyrade was nice, but I agree it should have gone on longer than one night.
Guess I'm a die hard Foley mark but that show reminded me of the days when I watched wrestling because it rocked rather than trying to dig material out of it. While they may have jumped the gun on the Jericho/Christian "cad" angle (if you didn't see it coming you're absolutely retarded) it was funny nonetheless, ESPECIALLY the "Canadian Dollar" part.
And am I the only one who actually sensed that RVD was going to get the pinfall tonight? The show just had that kind of groove.
Lethalwrestling.com: If you don't read us, you're probably gay
The idea that the entire show was a wasted two hour bait and switch (you're all fired, oh no nevermind, i was teaching a lesson!), coupled with the premature murdering of the Jericho/Trish angle, bizarre lapses of logic (if Foley can fire people arbitrarily through matches and for fun, why couldn't Bischoff just sign them right back?), and adding Mark Henry/Booker to a PPV, this was amongst the most infuriating RAW's I have ever seen. The 6-man and the mixed tags were entertaining however, and I'm interested in seeing if Shawn can pull a big man carry of the mid-90's with Batista.
Caped Boy: Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Milbourne, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard I am recently a crowned class B dungeon-master. So if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace. [He chuckles, and there is an awkward silence at the table.] Caped Boy: Anyone? Alexa! [Alexa gives him a withering glare.] Caped Boy: Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me. Alexa: In your dreams, douche-bag! Caped Boy: Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you. [Keith walks off] Alexa: Ewww!
I dont care about one segment, which will turn out ok in the end, the rest of the show was AWESOME. I have been losing interest in wrestling lately, but this got me interested again. The main event had the energy and character-interaction of days gone-bye. I think raw has done a good job of developing a couple of strong characters and its starting to pay off. Also, having a champion who actually seems like he SHOULD be the champion (because he can beat up anyone else- even in a tag match), is very good for the show. I am extremely please.
Man, my friend was watching the beginning of the show with me, and he basically summed up all of RAW lately:
The whole show is about screwing Eric Bischoff. He tries to do something and someone bigger comes along and screws with him. It takes him months, but he finally gets rid of the person and gets one or two episodes of running wild, and then some new person comes in and gives him a good kick in the balls.
This cut of the song is about 4 measures longer than the one on "The Wrestling Album." Gotta love SD Jones getting more lines than JYD, and Paul Orndorff using the everybody-waves-back-and-forth as an opportunity to alternately kiss each bicep....