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The W - Pro Wrestling - RAW #1095: 05-19-2014
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Blind_Guardian
Blutwurst








Since: 30.12.13

Since last post: 1 day
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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.00
Does nobody ever wanna talk about RAW the night of anymore?

I missed the first hour thanks to other people occupying the TV to watch the Voice (ugh), so I only know what the announce team told me and what I saw on the Meme Event.

-Bray Wyatt came out to cut a promo, Cena's music interrupted, and while the minions went out on the ramp to intercept, Cena slipped in behind him and gave him an AA.

-Cesaro wrestled Shaemus ... somebody won ... probably.

-Big E beat Ryback in about 5 minutes. It's a 'Beat the Clock Challenge' for a shot at the Intercontinental title.

-Fandango did something. I think Layla and Summer Rae had a CATFIIIIIGHT, CATFIIIIGHT.

-I jumped on about an hour in with Stephanie McMahon demanding that Daniel Bryan 'do the right thing' and forfeit the WWE title. Since they didn't just unceremoniously strip him of it, I'm betting he's recovering faster than expected and will be able to at least cut promos starting next week. I worry about rushing him into a title defense at Payback, but I've always heard Kane is one of the safest workers in the biz.

-3 Man Band is now apparently calling themselves 'Union Jack', with a blatant Rolling Stones knock-off theme. Alexander Rusev is not amused, and gives Slater the CRUSH treatment.

-RVD wrestled Alberto Del Rio, who went from a wrestler who believed himself destined to be the world champion to a wrestler believing himself destined to win the Intercontinental title. Didn't work out too well, as RVD beat him just 5 seconds shy of his favorite number. RVD 4:15 says I just couldn't wait for 4:20 ... speaking of, RVD blew his Rolling Thunder spot TWICE. He may have rolled a bit too much 'thunder' before the match, or maybe Del Rio wasn't positioned right in the ring, but it felt weird watching him go for it twice. At least the second time he was able to deliver a standing Rolling Thunder. Anyway, RVD wins and replaces Big E as the guy to beat for the #1 contender's spot.

-Batista (w/ special ring announcer HHH and special timekeeper Orton) wrestled Seth Rollins (w/ special commentators Reigns and Ambrose). Before the match HHH announced that only those at ringside on official business would be allowed down, hence all the special guest spots. In theory Ambrose and Reigns were both special commentators, but it was mostly Ambrose. He did a pretty awesome job, too, especially when he kept telling JBL to go to the back if he didn't like it ... and gods do I wish he would, JBL really does suck as a color guy. Match ends with a clusterfuck DQ, and Shield stands tall when the dust clears.

-Alicia Fox wrestled Paige, again ... and this time, Paige lost. In England. What the fuck, WWE. Could they have possibly have bungled Paige's debut any harder? They made her look weak when she debuted, she still managed to get pretty damn over with the crowd despite the worthless JBL disparaging her every chance he got, and then they make her lose the title in her home country. I think, anyway ... the announcers seemed to think she lost the title, but Fox didn't go for it, grabbing Lawler's crown instead and parading around on the guardrail. Either way, a big fuck you to whoever's booking the Divas division.

-Mizark Henry wrestled Mr Ass, I mean, Dolph Ziggler in the third 'beat the clock' challenge. This time they ran out of time just as Dolph hit the Zig Zag, though imho Dolph was way overselling Henry's offense to slow the match down. Seriously, he was acting like he'd just wrestled an Iron Man match against Brock Lesnar instead of wrestling for 3 minutes. I understand making your opponent look good, but damn, he made himself look pathetic. Anyway, since they couldn't beat RVD's time, he goes on to Payback to wrestle for the IC title. RVD comes out to point at himself and celebrate, but Barrett has some BAD NEWS in the form of a elbow to the back of the head.

-Adam Rose and his entourage came out for an interview. The crowd seemed to really love Rose's opening theme, as they proceeded to sing along to it for the rest of the night. Zeb and Swagger came out to be lemons and try and ruin Rose's fun, but he repelled the Tea Partiers and the bunny showed off some dance moves.

-Luke Harper wrestled John Cena for the main event. Harper continues to impress the hell out of me. He's got a great 'crazed' look in his eyes, and his offense is creative and looks really impressive with his size. Not many people his size can pull off a dropkick or a suicide plancha. The match ends in another clusterfuck, though it was pretty awesome seeing Bray slap rapid-fire Sister Abigails on both Usos. They avoided ringing the bell for awhile but finally Rowan connected on Cena and the Wyatts were DQ'ed. They didn't seem to mind, continuing the Cena beatdown all the way up the ramp and then delivering a Sister Abigail on top of the stage. Was really hoping Cena would get thrown off the stage onto a table, but instead Wyatt sang "Whole World in His Hands" while Harper delivered a 10-count.

Not a bad show, but what the hell with making Paige job in her home country. I'm not entirely sure if it was for the title or not, but if it wasn't, why make her job in the first place? Why not switch this week's results with last week's, so she jobbed in the US and retained her title in England?
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Morcilla








Since: 24.4.05
From: San Diego, CA

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.35
Holy cow. Luke Harper and his high flying moves. Ok maybe not so high..... But man, did he execute on some stuff that he shouldn't have. And it was fun.



(edited by The Guinness. on 20.5.14 0016)
CRZ
Big Brother
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Since: 9.12.01
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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.10
I watched hockey and basketball and Inside the NBA and 24 and this show was tape delayed from an arena full of chanting British people, so starting the thread wasn't as high a priority as it normally might be.

On the plus side, I hear Vince Russo is on Twitter! I hope he doesn't do for the Internet what he's done for professional wrestling.



Blind_Guardian
Blutwurst








Since: 30.12.13

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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.00
For the record, I (and the announcers) messed up, Paige did not in fact lose the Divas title, as it was a non-title match. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous to have her lose the title in England, especially when she's only about a month and a half into her title reign.
Tenken347
Boudin blanc








Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 11 hours
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.68
It is slightly weird to me that WWE still does their "humbling" of new talent, even when said talent came up from their own developmental territory, where it could be assumed that they've already learned the proper way of behaving in this company. I mean, not that weird, since they've been doing this so long that it's most likely just done on instinct these days, but still unnecessary. Basically, Paige getting beat in the UK by Alicia Fox, of all people, is odd but not surprising.

I thought this was a one match show (Batista/Rollins). Without Daniel Bryan, the shows really seem to be awfully directionless.
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.75
Luke Harper is my new favorite thing about wrestling. I am even enjoying Luke Harper counting to ten more than a lot of things on these shows.

So, they have done a terrible job with Paige, I don't know why I am surprised.

Alicia Fox did something different last week ... Let's do do it over and over and over again.


Cesaro blowing off Sheamus's handshake was aces.

I can't wait for the Usos to turn on John Cena so he can do hurt and surprised.

I hope Zach Ryder and Dolph Ziggler get to take turns being the bunny.
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 4 days
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.91
How about Sheamus skinning the cat on the turnbuckle? Nice trick. And then he flew into a forearm uppercut. That was a nice match.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
lotjx
Scrapple








Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 20 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.33
Apparently, there was a great deal of confusion if Bryan got stripped or not due to the crowd chanting for CM Punk. I am thinking Bryan does not get stripped next week, but we do have some weird match at the PPV he has to be in and does very little in it. A returning Undertaker chokeslaming Kane through a flaming table, a nod to Bryan and a 1-2-3 count would be very much welcome.



http://comicbookspotlight.wordpress.com/





Now reviewing Shield, Arrow and the summer movies from Godzilla to X-Men to Guardians.
Dr Unlikely
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.56
No Kane. This was the worst MAY 19th ever. Does the holiday even mean anything anymore? I hope everyone who waged the war on Kanemas* is happy.

RVD is awful now, even by RVD standards. As mentioned above, he totally forgot how to do the Rolling Thunder twice, and I'd say it was on him since he left Del Rio in the wrong spot the first time, then had him in the right spot to do it but tried it from the wrong side of the ring the second time. I hope he gives Barrett the high sign (heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh) to just throw him around or that match will be brutal. Barrett continues to be the guy on TV having the most fun and therefore the most fun guy to watch, though.

John Cena attacks Bray Wyatt from behind, then runs away in the opening segment. Later, he cuts a promo bragging about how he never runs from a fight. Also, John Cena just finally got around to seeing The Wolf of Wall Street. So, new game: what's next on Cena's Netflix queue? I'm guessing Captain Phillips.

The Rose segment was the best one with him so far. The Shield is still The Shield. That's kind of all.

I am basically pinning all my hopes on my own fantasy-booked "Bo Dallas becomes John Cena's spiritual guru" angle, but the fact that Bo is debuting on Smackdown is making me feel pretty hopeless in that regard right now.



*The War on Christmas (Creature)? I don't know, leave me alone.
used2bcool
Bockwurst








Since: 5.11.08
From: Lake Forest, IL

Since last post: 22 hours
Last activity: 13 hours
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.66
    Originally posted by Blind_Guardian
    Cesaro wrestled Shaemus ... somebody won ... probably.


Cesaro and Sheamus had a pretty great match, I thought. Sheamus's choice of wearing grey and orange trunks somehow made him look even more of a ginger. They had some pretty cool spots, even though the crowd didn't really pay attention to the first half of the match, going through all their token chants (including "JBL" and "Jerry") instead. Cesaro ran into an Irish Curse and kicked out, then Sheamus jumped right into Swiss Death but survived until finally Heyman ran interference and Cesaro took advantage with a largely sloppy German Suplex for the win.

On a tangential note, has there been anyone in the last decade or so that has delivered a German Suplex as crisply as He Who Must Not Be Named?

    Originally posted by Blind_Guardian

    -Fandango did something. I think Layla and Summer Rae had a CATFIIIIIGHT, CATFIIIIGHT.


Fandango didn't really *do* anything as such. Remember he professed his love for Layla last week, and so was in the middle of a deep kiss when Summer Rae returned to plant one on him. That triggered the aforementioned CATFIIIIIGHT which the crowd supported by chanting YES. Fandango, for his part, dithered a little, then broke it up, and carried a screeching Layla back up the ramp while looking...perplexed.

Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 2 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.90
    Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco

    I can't wait for the Usos to turn on John Cena so he can do hurt and surprised.



I like the idea of turning Usos heel, especially if Wyatt turns them (even if they don't actually join the Wyatt Family) but A) John is one of the most likable people on Total Divas so I think the crowd likes him and B) Unless the Shield goes back to the tag team division that will leave only one face tag team. And unfortunately I did put those two points in the order of what is more important to the WWE.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
JimBob Skeeter
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: MN

Since last post: 3 days
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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.38
Love that Swagger is such a Bigg Hoss now that he needs to GG's to describe himself. Goes that make him biGGer than Ryback?

"Who am I now? I'm The Undertaker at Wrestlemania, the only difference is: I. Sat. Up!" I can't wait for Heyman dvd part deux. He is just on fahr. The crowd even helping him hype BRAWK was great, too.

Henry and Zig bumbling around waiting for the clock to run out was unbearable.

THIS was great:

SKLOKAZOID
Bratwurst








Since: 20.3.02
From: California

Since last post: 11 hours
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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.64
Kind of a treading water week. Wasn't a big fan of the "Big Announcement Regarding the Fate of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship This Week on RAW" being an announcement that "Something Will Happen with the WWE World Heavyweight Championship when Daniel Bryan Returns Next Week on RAW."

It was fun to see the crowd excited for Bad News Barrett and for him to get a little moment in there, although it was weird when Stephanie borrowed the "Bad News" bit and they played a quick montage of him.


Yeah, Paige lost, but she's a young 21 and she's still the champion and I imagine they did what they did because Paige is going over at the PPV and Alicia Fox has been singled out for a push. The timing of when they had her lose sucks, but I can understand it.


The big development this week, of course, was that Adam Rose is at least over in England. I feel like they almost figured out some of the character this week, although aren't going whole hog with it.

He should be like Alfred Molina in Boogie Nights. That guy who's throwing the party who everyone is secretly afraid of, and then nearly murders someone, but then you play his favorite song and that gets him to stop. He should go completely apeshit, biting people's faces, gouging eyes, and just turn into a raging psycho on E. They've figured out the motivation to get him to fight, but I think if he just straight up wrestles and still maintains a cheery persona, it isn't effective. I think he needs a little more "Mankind" in him.

    Originally posted by Dr Unlikely
    John Cena attacks Bray Wyatt from behind, then runs away in the opening segment. Later, he cuts a promo bragging about how he never runs from a fight. Also, John Cena just finally got around to seeing The Wolf of Wall Street. So, new game: what's next on Cena's Netflix queue? I'm guessing Captain Phillips.

Yeah, my theory is that Wolf of Wall Street was the movie he watched on the plane when flying overseas.

(edited by SKLOKAZOID on 20.5.14 1209)
Vaderblade
Cotto








Since: 4.10.11
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 1 day
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.66
    Originally posted by SKLOKAZOID


    The big development this week, of course, was that Adam Rose is at least over in England. I feel like they almost figured out some of the character this week, although aren't going whole hog with it.

    He should be that guy who's throwing the party who everyone is secretly afraid of, and then nearly murders someone, but then you play his favorite song and that gets him to stop. He should go completely apeshit, biting people's faces, gouging eyes, and just turn into a raging psycho on E. They've figured out the motivation to get him to fight, but I think if he just straight up wrestles and still maintains a cheery persona, it isn't effective. I think he needs a little more "Mankind" in him.




I was thinking something along the same lines. He should work it similar to what Adrain Street did with the effeminate gimmick. Play the part until the physicality starts and then use a vicious move set, where your offense is the opposite of your personality outside the ring.



----------
Look here Mr TV announcer. I'm 6'9", over 300 pounds, size 17 shoe and I'm no coward! I'm gonna go post on THE-W and if all these egg suckin' dogs talkin' out the side of their necks don't like it, I will whoop them just like I whooped Dirty Rhodes, Andre the dummy, the masked varmint, Thundermouth Patterson and that drunkin' indian Jay Strongbow!
Dr Unlikely
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.56
    Originally posted by SKLOKAZOID

      Originally posted by Dr UnlikelyJohn Cena attacks Bray Wyatt from behind, then runs away in the opening segment. Later, he cuts a promo bragging about how he never runs from a fight. Also, John Cena just finally got around to seeing The Wolf of Wall Street. So, new game: what's next on Cena's Netflix queue? I'm guessing Captain Phillips.

    Yeah, my theory is that Wolf of Wall Street was the movie he watched on the plane when flying overseas.
Yeah, you know what, this is probably right. Flight From Hell 2014: John Cena enjoying The Wolf of Wall Street on a transcontinental flight yelling (but still politely) back to coach "Jimmy, Jey, are you watching this?!" followed by Cena and Jimmy Uso cracking up over DiCaprio doing the robot, while a despondent Jey Uso sighs and quietly thinks to himself "I saw this months ago. I actually care about cinema. I have a lot of interests and exciting things going on my life, too."
Blind_Guardian
Blutwurst








Since: 30.12.13

Since last post: 1 day
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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.00
    Originally posted by Quezzy
      Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco

      I can't wait for the Usos to turn on John Cena so he can do hurt and surprised.



    I like the idea of turning Usos heel, especially if Wyatt turns them (even if they don't actually join the Wyatt Family) but A) John is one of the most likable people on Total Divas so I think the crowd likes him and B) Unless the Shield goes back to the tag team division that will leave only one face tag team. And unfortunately I did put those two points in the order of what is more important to the WWE.


Were you talking about one of the Usos? Because the crowd definitely does NOT like John Cena. I don't think he's wrestled in front of a solidly pro-Cena crowd in years.

I also like the idea of Rose turning hyper-aggressive when the matches start, then his song starts playing after a victory and he goes right back to happy-go-lucky party guy. Probably too good of an idea for the WWE to use it, though.

(edited by Blind_Guardian on 20.5.14 1447)
CruelAngel777
Frankfurter








Since: 7.4.02

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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.35
    Originally posted by Blind_Guardian
      Originally posted by Quezzy
        Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco

        I can't wait for the Usos to turn on John Cena so he can do hurt and surprised.



      I like the idea of turning Usos heel, especially if Wyatt turns them (even if they don't actually join the Wyatt Family) but A) John is one of the most likable people on Total Divas so I think the crowd likes him and B) Unless the Shield goes back to the tag team division that will leave only one face tag team. And unfortunately I did put those two points in the order of what is more important to the WWE.


    Were you talking about one of the Usos? Because the crowd definitely does NOT like John Cena. I don't think he's wrestled in front of a solidly pro-Cena crowd in years.

    I also like the idea of Rose turning hyper-aggressive when the matches start, then his song starts playing after a victory and he goes right back to happy-go-lucky party guy. Probably too good of an idea for the WWE to use it, though.

    (edited by Blind_Guardian on 20.5.14 1447)


So....basically turn him into Festus?



I believe in The Shield....
Stefonics
Bockwurst








Since: 17.3.02
From: Queidersbach

Since last post: 13 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.18
Better show this week than the past three. Still not very good though.

Cesaro-Sheamus should've been better and deserved a better finish. The saving grace was the handshake fakeout. Smooooth.

None of the beat the clock challenges were particularly interesting or impressive, with the exception of RVD. I read some newz that his shoulder was injured and that could've contributed to the sloppiness. Weed is used as a painkiller, so yeah.

Rusev looked less lost this week. The Fandango stuff was pointless. Neither woman is compelling and the whole triangle isn't giving the fans a reason to care (unless you're a person who cares about all love triangles).

The Shield was great, as usual. HHH has been lights out during this whole thing. Dave's hair still looks horrible. They need to get a "Patchy" chant started at one of these shows.

Paige losing but not losing the title in England... Americans don't refuse/get jobbed in America, so I don't see the big deal. Cena doesn't count; rising against hate doesn't recognize international borders.

I can get past the dated pop-culture references, I can look the other way when he doesn't take anyone else seriously, and I can abide the shitty emoting. But for the love of fuck, learn how to apply a good looking STF already. All these years, all the times he's done it, has no one pulled him aside and told him how shitty he makes that move look? Get him a Network subscription and make him watch all of his matches. If he doesn't recognize the problem, burn him with a hot poker. Keep doing it until he gets it. What a douche.

Luke Harper is completely awesome.
Blind_Guardian
Blutwurst








Since: 30.12.13

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 4 hours
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.00
    Originally posted by Stefonics


    The Shield was great, as usual. HHH has been lights out during this whole thing. Dave's hair still looks horrible. They need to get a "Patchy" chant started at one of these shows.

    Paige losing but not losing the title in England... Americans don't refuse/get jobbed in America, so I don't see the big deal. Cena doesn't count; rising against hate doesn't recognize international borders.



Yeah, Dave is sporting a pretty horrible beard these days. I think it might be even worse than Hogan's spray-on beard during his nWo days.

As for Paige and jobbing in England ... comparing it to an American not wanting to job on US soil isn't really a valid equivalency, since the vast majority of the WWE's shows take place here. They go to England once, maybe twice a year. It's more aptly compared to jobbing someone in their hometown. Remember that Bret Hart was similarly adamant about not wanting to lose in Canada, especially to Shawn Michaels (hence the infamous Montreal Screwjob).

Yeah, I know the match results don't really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things, but people are still disappointed when they come out to see the hometown hero and s/he ends up staring at the lights.
InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 1 day
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.65
    Originally posted by Blind_Guardian

    Were you talking about one of the Usos? Because the crowd definitely does NOT like John Cena.


Jimmy Uso's real name is Jon. I assume that's who he meant, but accidentally added the 'h'.

I'm not sure why everyone is so confused about Paige losing in England. Wouldn't it be more shocking if a Superstar won in their hometown? And, as SKLOKAZOID pointed out, Alicia Fox is getting the title shot at Payback. Lazy booking though it may be, it's pretty common for the challenger to get a non-title win to make the title match more suspenseful. I don't think there's any chance of Paige walking out of Payback without her title, though.
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I know it's Khali, but it only seems that this program has been going on for nine months now Predictions: - World Tag Title Ladder Match: Hardys. Jeff experiences deja vu with the MitB dilemma, only this time he grabs the gold.
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