If you're not on Twitter, somehow you heard about it so you're desperately searching for the screen grab of Brie Bella's nipple for some reason. Here now is that nipple (shut your eyes and scroll down REALLY QUICKLY if you're one of those folks who still have to worry about "NSFW" graphics after 10PM):
More importantly, the last three quarters were devoted to hey remember WRESTLING - specifically, Daniel Bryan's gauntlet against Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro and Ryback and if we somehow don't get a consistent ratings growth out of THAT...well, they'll probably stop booking the show for me and replace long matches with encore presentations of entire episodes of "Total Divas." Still, Daniel Bryan's buildup as a mighty fine opponent for John Cena at SummerSlam appears to be proceeding quite nicely.
In a surprise move, not one but two matches for next week's (ie "taped tomorrow") show have been announced in advance - Cena will take on Ryback in a tables match while Bryan clashes with "best friend" Kane in a match which screams out for Wyatt Family involvement.
Not only did we only see Wyatt, Harper and Rowan only in flashback clips tonight, but a promised return of The Big Show (sent via SMS to folks subscribed to receive texts from WWE 20 minutes before showtime) was apparently bumped - we'll expect to see him next week. No Orton tonight either. None of this is me complaining, though, with a mercifully short (+ nipple!) "Total Divas cast on MizTV" segment and a whole heap of Daniel Bryan wrestling in the money segments.
That crowd was hot all night. They even chanted "si" along with Del Rio. Pretty good match to open the show, with Sheamus sporting a pretty gnarly bruise on his thigh. Smartly enough, they worked the match around that, and the finish too played to Sheamus's weakened leg. Good stuff all around.
John Cena got cheers! My first impression was that he came off very patronizing in his speech to Bryan, but when you think about it, in WWE cannon, Cena has every right to be patronizing to Bryan. Cena, the multiple-time world champion and dominant force in the WWE for the better part of a decade, can actually talk down to Bryan, someone who's been around the WWE for only a few years.
Ryback is now "the Bully Ryback," complete with douchebaggery involving poor Josh Matthews.
So we are headed full steam ahead with Shield v Usos and Henry. I don't mind at all. This crowd was way into Henry, and then popped when the Usos made the save. If other crowds react the same way, you've got a winner here. The Usos and the Shield have already shown they can go in the ring.
Great to see that Dolph's highly entertaining escapades (see what I did there?) against the 3MB from the last couple of weeks have built to something. AJ's frustrated screams of "go after him!" were a cool little touch.
That match against Fandango was the first time in a while that I can remember Cody Rhodes getting to look good in the ring. Was that Fandango's first clean loss? Sandow was pretty fantastic on commentary. Things are looking good for the (ex) Rhodes Scholars.
Paul Heyman with the line of the night: "The Beast IS the best."
Cesaro. Bryan. Brilliant. Surprisingly great was the Ryback match. Those guys have some great pinball-meet-wall chemistry, kind of like Batista and Rey Mysterio. I wouldn't mind seeing them go longer.
Christian beats Zeke Jackson. Miz Beats MVP Sheamus beats Orton by DQ Micky James wins vs Michelle McCool. Taker beats Mysterio following a nice Last Ride. And EDGE is your Royal Rumble Champion. let the Elimination Chamber booking begin!